This kind of reminds me of another friend we had… our age at 50’s ish, this was about five years ago. His dream was always to ride a horse in the mountains and when my DH heard that he took him on a ride up into our mountains here, friend had never been on a horse before and the horse he rode was not exactly bomb proof but we knew him well. They rode all day, way up in our mountains and Friend posted a TON of pictures and was so so happy, DH brought him home to our house where I had a dinner all ready so I got to hear the whole story. Friend talked about it for the rest of the time we knew him. He committed suicide two years ago and DH is always so glad he took him for that ride. At the funeral Friend’s sister said that was one of Friend’s happiest days he ever had.
What a happy and sad situation. Sorry for the loss of your friend.
Thanks, it’s kind of a downer story but we’re always happy when we see the pictures. He was a great guy. Funny too that horse is a big Morgan that surely had some WTheck moments but took good care of him that day.
Just remember what happened to “Archie Leach” and Wanda! lol
Oddly enough … I do own a boat.
Had a brutal breakup last year so lost my mental stability and bought a boat. It’s 32 years old and small - but it’s mine.
And yes. The “friends” that came out of the woodwork was amazing. Thankfully it’s only a 6 person boat. And 2 of the seats were for coolers making it a 4 person boat. So that kept it easy. Honest answer - sorry no room.
Also own a truck…. It’s 38 years old, barely holding together , and you have to have 3 legs and the touch to drive it so I don’t get harassed about it much.
Also it’s got a 7” lift so when people ask me to help them move I’m like yep…. You’re loading it though. The tailgate - open- is at bewb height.
They decline.
I was the horse crazy kid . I was FIRMLY taught to NEVER ASK. It was RUDE. If people want - they will offer. Period.
Guess that’s just how I was raised.
That’s always been my rule with my truck, too. Sure, I’ll provide the truck! You provide everything else, labor and fuel. I’ll make sure the load is secured.
And this is a classic illustration of “Guess Culture.” It was how I was raised, as well. But not everyone was raised the same way. It isn’t “right vs wrong,” it’s just “different.”
Here is an explanation of the difference:
I totally understand young people asking. I was once that horse crazy girl too. When I ride in public, I will stop for any young person, and the occasional adult, to pat my horses. I actually like to share. If I had a neighbor who was horse mad, I would have no problem having that person over for some horse time.
I think most of us have issues with adults asking to ride who don’t really want to accept when we tell them kindly that our horses are not suitable for them. For me, this is not a lie. My gaited boy may or may not throw in a crow hop if he’s fresh. I could deal with that by riding him a few minutes first. But he will also scrape someone who doesn’t steer off on a tree or bush or whatever. He’s not even hard to ride but you have to steer.
My mare has a very athletic spook and can be very forward. She really does take someone with experience to ride. If I put an amateur on her, it wouldn’t be if they fall off but when.
We’ve had various boats over the years. When we had a pontoon, we’d invite people out on it once in a while, because we had the space. But when we owned our 15’ Scout, it held DH and me, and that was it.
I had a family member say that she wanted to come out with her six kids, and have everyone go out on the Scout. Nope, not happening. We didn’t even want to take one kid because a parent wouldn’t be able to go along. Plus that boat was very reactive to other boats’ wakes, and there is no way I would take a child.
Eventually I couldn’t get on and off the Scout any more, so we sold it and joined a boat club. Their boats were 20 feet and more, so we went back to taking people out with us occasionally. But most of the time, it was just DH and me, enjoying watching the birds and occasional dolphin without a bunch of people chattering at us. Two very different experiences, and we enjoyed both.
Rebecca
Happily for me, I wasn’t raised right, and it worked out for everyone. Luckily, most people who have a horse (or cabin, boat, or Porsche) will probably never be forced to grant a person who (rude, impertinent, oblivious, or not) asks a ride or a stay. The have the freedom to go forward and share if they want/can with people, the same people, who, for instance, they might rely upon for a favor–or they can say no. So it’s all good.
We have two dilapidated sailboats from some stage DH went through a few years ago and a decent motorized boat that belongs to my daughter’s stalky ex parked at our place. If anyone asked for a ride on any of those I’ll just give them the dang boat but DH would probably take them sailing, lol
Private barn with big fields accessible by a walking trail. I doubt the owners were home when it happened.
A while back, a coworker was heavily pregnant. Apropos of nothing she said “when can I come ride your horses?” I was so stunned I said “when you’re not pregnant.” I hoped she’d forget. Now her babies (twins) are about one, and she’s pushing again. I really don’t mind on some level, but when i said no last Wednesday to this past weekend ( my brain was exhausted from a tough week) I was again surprised at her “let’s play it by ear”. Girl. I Just Said No, and let’s look at after Easter. No.no.no.
“Oh! You want to ride my horse! How fast can you ride? Because he used to be a racehorse, you know.”
They shut down at that point.
I had a couple stop at my farm and tell me they needed to borrow my truck and trailer because they were going to buy a Chincoteague pony. I had never met these people - I thought that took a lot a nerve. NO.
Oh wow.
Add this to the reason I’m putting in driveway gates, haha.
Gates are a really good idea.
oh gosh… i have people trying to gain access to our farm all.the.time. They want me to take my precious time and walk them around, have them ‘help me train’. I swear, i’m someday going to tell them: “earn it. For every hour you spend shoveling poop, i will grant you 10 min to pet/photograph my animals.” But then, i’d have to supervise. Most people haven’t the faintest idea how actually get up poop do they?!
When I was in my 20s I had finally saved enough to purchase a 3 year old OTTB filly that I loved. The first day I had her, my mother asked if I was going to let my dad ride her. He had almost zero ability but fancied himself a rider because he rode their farm horses as a boy. I have a picture of him mounted up to ride at a rent a horse place with a death grip on the horses face so bad that his mouth was open and totally behind the bit. So I said no, I don’t think so she’s not a horse for a rider not used to reactive TBs.
I was engaged (briefly) to a guy who I met at a dude ranch. He thought he knew how to ride western because he could neck rein and didn’t need any additional instruction. Turns out he is the farrier for Martha Stewart - yes, that Martha Stewart.
I let a little boy on my very gentle large pony one time. He said that he knew how to neck rein, so I said, go ahead! The pony neck reins. He proceeded to do the most extreme version of movie-cowboy mouth yanking that I had ever seen! So I just led him around.
The pony neck reined beautifully off your seat and legs.
