Child in my pasture- WWYD?

kudos to JanM for guessing the kid was in trouble at home, and shipped off to relatives in the country.

Poor gran and grandpa (wishing him a speedy recovery), to have this dumped in their laps.:no:

Here’s hoping (for everyone’s sake) they are able to turn the kid around without too much difficulty.

Kookicat-Definitely good news! But I’m sad to see the parents did ship their problem off to the country to continue her ways. Maybe this incident is the wakeup call the parents and grandparents need, and they will do something to help this kid grow up to a good person. I’m also glad you are documenting the incident with the police so they will be aware that of the entire situation-and I hope you share the identity and address with your neighbor in case of further problems. I truly hope this is the last of this incident.

Will someone please find this kid and send them to SLC’s place.

You know, considering the rules YOU made up because you didn’t want your neighbors using you indoor arena I fail to see the logic in your post.

We tried six different ways to calculate it, and every time, we came up with an hourly use fee of between 75 and 100 dollars an HOUR. Our first cut, 50 dollars, did not include insurance, electricity, maintenance, repairs, replacing footing, topping off footing, etc. This calculation comes from yearly taxes and initial price of the arena, including an expected life span and depreciation.

My SO came up with the following as rules ‘based on all the accidents and stable manager problems you’ve told me about in the last 25 years’ (LOL!!!) and based on his goals for maintaining the property (mine too, i don’t want things torn up either):

must ride only at scheduled times - weeknights after 5 are out, weekend mornings are out.

no longeing. no long reining. no ground driving. no jumping. no allowing horses to roll in arena. no allowing horses loose in arena. no trail obstacles in ring. this was to avoid having gear left in the ring, which he felt it inevitably would be, and having the arena torn up.

the rider must water and drag the ring after every use. i was ambivalent about this. i don’t want to arrive home after 12 hr day to have to drag and water before i can ride, but the rider would be using my tractor and drag, and the liability i felt would be huge with allowing someone to use farm equipment, as would the potential for running into the kick boards or damaging the ring. it’s not easy to drag a ring properly or to water it adequately and evenly. i find very few people who are asking to use my ring have ever maintained a ring, dragged it, driven a tractor, or even watered a ring.

here’s where we really ran into an issue. to avoid damaging our base, the sides of the ring would need to be raked down by hand, and we have seen that most people ride around and around on the track, throwing up footing in the corners and creating a rut next to the rail. fixing this would be extra for us, as the way we ride we don’t create any ruts. we would have to also have the person rake down the sides, or we would have to do it.

there will be a schedule and the rider will only be allowed to ride X times in a year, there is also a MINIMUM number of times the rider can ride, and the fee for those times must be paid even if the rider doesn’t ride. (the idea was to support the real estate tax abatement for farms; riding on the property is a ‘farm product’). in other words, the person would be paying a minimum of 2500 dollars a year, but would still not have unlimited use of the ring. not even close.

rider must wear a helmet at all times when in the ring, not just when riding, but at all times in ring.

rider must sign a release. now here’s another problem. the hold harmless statutes for our state are totally inadequate to prevent lawsuits. we would actually have to pay a lawyer and have a contract drawn up, and that could STILL not always protect us from lawsuits. but we would have to pay for th contract, as well.

as far as liability, there just is NO insurance, release or legal song and dance that will FULLY GUARANTEE a homeowner he cannot be sued by someone who is on his property. ask a lawyer. there really is NOTHING that can prevent you from being sued except not having people on your property. the old days of people just saying ‘aw heck, it weren’t your fault’ when they get hurt on someone’s property - those days are gone. we are the most litigious country in the world.

only the individual paying can use the ring. no guest riders, no friends riding, no relatives, either on the individuals horse or their own horses. no instructors are allowed, and no students of instructors or their horses are allowed in the ring. no vehicles can be left parked on the property, no equipment, no provisions, tack, materials, supplies, lumber, or any other possessions can be left on the property. no spectators. no dogs of spectators. no dogs, loose or otherwise.

the outdoor ring is NOT available at all (based on people using outdoor rings and tearing them up, not respecting ‘ring closed’ signs, barn manager not having TIME to go out and put up ring closed sign all the time, barn manager ASSUMING people would not ride in 2 feet of water, and 25 yrs of ‘no it’s not too wet’ arguments that SO has witnessed!)

in reaching the arena the rider cannot ride over pastures, outdoor ring, or wooded areas of our property. either access from the driveway, or pay to have a stone base gravel path put in to the arena, and stay on the gravel path at all times when leaving or entering the property. this again to protect the ground in wet weather. for land conservation reasons we have to maintain a very good cover all year.

Boy you do love your neighbors don’t you, and I am sure that if one wandered onto your property waving a stick at your horses you would just gently tell them to leave and that is all?

As the mother of a strong-willed child… I would venture to say there my be a chance that this girl is an exceptionally intelligent individual who is either
(a) Acting this way to camouflage said intellect in order to make friends and not seem “nerdy”.
or
(b) May be board out of her mind since she is not being effectively mentally stimulated and/or kept busy with interesting (non destructive) things to do since Gran is (rightfully so) preoccupied/distracted by her husband’s health.

[QUOTE=Sakura;3374898]
As the mother of a strong-willed child… I would venture to say there my be a chance that this girl is an exceptionally intelligent individual who is either
(a) Acting this way to camouflage said intellect in order to make friends and not seem “nerdy”.
or
(b) May be board out of her mind since she is not being effectively mentally stimulated and/or kept busy with interesting (non destructive) things to do since Gran is (rightfully so) preoccupied/distracted by her husband’s health.[/QUOTE]

I am also the mother of a “strong willed” and highly intelligent child. She would not ever treat an animal the way this child has treated Kookikat’s horses, or the dogs placed in her care. At the age of 5, my daughter already has an understanding that animals are deserving of respect.

What is more, at the age of 5, my daughter understands about respecting other peoples’ privacy and property.

No, my daughter is not some kind of prodigy - she has simply learned that there are no excuses for bad behaviour, least of all being “strong willed” or “highly intelligent”.

Too often, those are excuses for poor discipline and inadequate parenting.

[QUOTE=kookicat;3374880]
I dunno, part of me thinks she’s a spoilt brat with too much time on her hands, and another part of me wonders if it isn’t something more.[/QUOTE]

Maybe all of the above. You seem like a good judge of people, KC.

[QUOTE=kookicat;3374836]
I know who she is!

Kid moved from the city because her mother can’t cope with her any more. She (kid) was shipped off to gran and grandad in the country with the hopes that it would calm her down…I’m not sure if it’s going to help any really, and I’m still going to the police tomorrow to have a chat (make sure I’m covered from that angle!) but here’s hoping.

Lou[/QUOTE]

Whew! I’m so glad you found out the identity of that little troublemaker. So sorry for her grandparents though; SHAME on her mother - sloughing off her problem child on the grandfolks (who she probably knew couldn’t say no).

Yes, by all means, file a police report to document what’s happened; hopefully you won’t need that paper trail for the future, but you can’t be too careful.

I have a brother-in-law (hubby’s bro) who tried the same thing with his truant, troublemaking daughter back when she was an early teen. Her “friends” broke into his house when they all went to the beach, and she was doing all sorts of stuff herself. SO, he talks his folks into thinking it would be a great idea to ship off PITA kid to her “auntie and uncle in the country” since he knew she hated it way out here.

Boy, was I PO’d(!!) when I found out - no way in h*ll were my husband and I going to take responsiblity for that spoiled little brat. I told hubby to tell his folks “no”, in no uncertain terms; if we had wanted kids to deal with, we’d have had our own.

Some may think I’m a heartless b*tch, but I know my limits, plus I was highly offended that anyone would think it appropriate to regard my treasured, long-awaited-for, and dearly-worked-for country oasis as a place of punishment for a self-centered, disrespectful, spoiled-rotten brat. She likely would have hightailed it out a window and headed for the main road to hitchhike to who knows where, and I was not going to take on the blame for her actions. Or her “friends” would have come to pay a visit in the middle of the night and figured they’d have some midnight, drunken “fun” with my horses.

Lou, I hope now things can get worked out and that girl learns some real respect for both humans and animals and that Granddad is out of the hospital soon.

RIGHT :yes:… but YOU have been a vigilant parent and have helped form her into the respectful little person she is becoming. Parenting strong-willed children is not for the faint of heart… a lot of these kids don’t get the proper direction and guidance they need to use their powers for good :wink:

Just to clarify my earlier post.

I know that of course the OP would check the fence repair job before using it.

I was thinking more about future use. If the child decides to vandalize the fence again sometime down the road, (maybe on her way out of town!) she might have learned to be more sneaky from her fence repair project. Maybe just tear down 10 feet in a back corner where you might not notice it, something like that.

Sorry to sound pessimistic, but this kid just sounds like trouble every which way. The lack of empathy for every animal in her path is a huge red flag to me.

Perhaps the OP can let the local police know what time the lovely lass is coming to fix the fence,and they can come patrolling by…while she is working maybe they can let her know what danger(s) she put the animals,drivers,and others in,with her little prank.Maybe seeing an offical uniformed police officer will keep her away from OP’s property.It sounds to me like this child has a lot of inner turmoil and anger going on,and she is using animal “harrassment” as an outlet.Shame on the parents for not coming to get her,especially since Grandpa is so ill.Or,maybe they’ve had no contact since shipping her off?Shame,shame.Most Grandparents love to have the kids temporarily,then it’s always nice to give’em back.Good luck to the OP,and to this troubled child…sad situation.

The mother may be right- the reason the country is so great for kids like this is just what this girl is finding out- you can’t hide :wink: In the city, kids fall between the cracks, but in the country everyone knows whose kid you are and if you put a foot out of place your guardians hear about it.

Hopefully the grandparents are up to dealing with it.

OP, you’re handling this perfectly in my book :slight_smile:

kookikat- the only thing I have said which was directed towards you was my original suggestion, and subsequent acknowledgement of your saying that you had no intention of doing anything cruel to a child. Several other people have recomended horrible tactics, and yes I believe that some of them are capable of doing those things. they happen every day.
I believe it was some one from the Carolinas who bragged about not knowing any of her neighbors, “Besides, who says you have to know your neighbors in this country? We live in a very rural area and I have no idea what my neighbors names are. I NEVER see them. I guess I am a stuffy old bat.” JS Wiley


although I did infer from your original post that you did not know yours either. I myself have never been abused by anyone other than myself. I do feel very strongly about the subject though.
You claim to be 24 yrs old, but since you are a witch that is subject to doubt. Besides “young bat” lacks poetic flow.

people who torture children

do not post on this forum.
they are on the kiddy porn and other sites.
people who think that children should be well behaved post on this forum.
and there are many kids who exhibit all the signs of sociopaths and psychopaths with animals first, then they progress to children or women. sigh, not many of them go after men.
grow a sense of humor, please.
and go to the spin off to see the replies.
op, I
hope the kid doesn’t retaliate and hope your horses are safe. it’s a bad world when horses cannot graze in a pasture w/o being threatened.

So in your mind, this is a compliment??

Glad to know she’s been ID’d, KC. Poor, poor Gran. The kid’s mother, however, sounds like just as much of a problem as the kid is. (WHO on earth, having shipped your kid to the country relatives, when said country relatives have major health issues develop impacting their acute situation, doesn’t return pronto for the kid?) Prayers for Gran going up. Hope the lesson has an impact on the kid. I agree fully with calling the police.

Back to caring for my mother, my best friend, who thankfully disciplined me, including once or twice (with me, more with problem child brother) spanking when I deserved it. Thank you, Mom, for caring enough to shape me into a responsible adult. My problem child older brother, by the way, is now a productive, responsible, well-adjusted adult, and he also has thanked her often for her diligence.

Abuse is a horrible problem. Discipline is not the same as abuse.

and again … facinated, you have been proven wrong! The OP did know her neighbour and her dogs… but why would she have known the grand-daughter?

You are looking sillier by the post!
Good luck OP with the conclusion of this saga!

…somebody needs to recognize comments that are “tongue in cheek”… saying something and doing it are two different things.

[QUOTE=facinated;3375025]
You claim to be 24 yrs old, but since you are a witch that is subject to doubt. Besides “young bat” lacks poetic flow.[/QUOTE]

Facinated - you just can’t figure out when to cut your losses and go home, can you? What does the OP’s age have to do with anything, and exactly what reason does she have to lie about it?

Sorry to burst your “poetic” bubble, but your name calling and baseless accusations are completely uncalled for.

WELL - I guess the redeeming feature is that the school holidays will be over SOOOOON! Poopsie will be returning to Gotham!

There are some kids with unfortunate problems and some that are just plain mean.
Determining which one that girl is may help, but if she is one of the mean ones, by the time someone catches on, there may be sad victims left behind.
Just hope it is not you or your animals.:no: