“Although it is fine to tell the child to leave you should not go beyond that without speaking to her parents first. Do not make negative assumptions about the parents prior to meeting them. You might end up with a horse loving working student.”
This was my initial post on this topic, what is wrong about that?
They have very strict rules about child labour in the UK. Employing a child is NOT an option.
[QUOTE=MHM;3374862]
Wow. I’m glad you were able to ID her, but…
Nothing else about your post would ease my nerves.
She went home without the dogs?!? Left them tied up to a signpost for more than an hour?!? Didn’t go back to retrieve them when her grandmother was beside herself?!? Yikes! [/QUOTE]
I’ve been following this thread and the original poster definitely has my sympathies. I am with MHM on having real concern about the fact that this child abandoned her grandmother’s dogs and then did not tell her grandmother where the dogs were, even after she became very upset. She knows her grandfather is ill, and purposely abandoned her grandmother’s dogs. This child has mental problems that go beyond bad behavior. Did the dogs appear to be fearful of the child? Do you think she is tormenting them or just neglecting them?
We had the misfortune to live next to someone with a teenage son who liked to hurt small animals. He shot most of our barn cats when they would hunt in our hayfield, which was located between our farm and their house. One of our cat’s came home, shot clear through and survived. I didn’t live at home at that time and heard about if from my parents. I don’t know whatever happened to that child, but I know he had my parents scared. They had horses and cows and were worried about them. Of course, no one could prove it was the kid shooting the cats, even though everyone knew it was.
My friend’s nephew came to live with his grandparents (my friend’s parents) when he been in trouble with the courts. The step-grandmother reached out and took the troubled teenager into their home because the parents couldn’t handle him. He wasn’t there a week when he MURDERED his Uncle (my friend’s little brother), who was a late in life child and was actually younger than the grandchild. He beat him to death with a pool cue. No one had any idea that this troubled child would escalate into that kind of violence. However, the signs were there if anyone cared to look.
To the OP: I don’t know how well you know this grandmother, but it appears that she is going to need some emotional as well as physical support in the supervision of her grandchild. In the interest of all animals in the community, is there someone you can contact that can give this woman some much needed support? Is there any programs in the community for teenagers which would keep the little monster busy and maybe actually help her before she gets worse? Also, I am worried about the grandmother, and I hope that there is someone who checks on her regularly. You have my sympathies.
[QUOTE=facinated;3375272]
“Although it is fine to tell the child to leave you should not go beyond that without speaking to her parents first. Do not make negative assumptions about the parents prior to meeting them. You might end up with a horse loving working student.”
This was my initial post on this topic, what is wrong about that?[/QUOTE]
No one said anything was wrong with your initial post. It was all the others…looks like you should have just stopped with this one.
Originally Posted by Ghazzu
Back when dirt was still under patent and I was a kid, any child was fair game for a tongue-lashing from any adult if we were doing something we shouldn’t be.
Too bad this isn’t still the norm. It would save us all a lot of headaches.""
Yeah and back in those good old days women knew their place. Not to mention minorities. Progress sucks, in the good old days victims kept their mouths shut because they knew they would be put on trial, now people who abuse women, children , and animals actualy get in trouble.
[QUOTE=Sakura;3374898]
As the mother of a strong-willed child… I would venture to say there my be a chance that this girl is an exceptionally intelligent individual who is either
(a) Acting this way to camouflage said intellect in order to make friends and not seem “nerdy”.
or
(b) May be board out of her mind since she is not being effectively mentally stimulated and/or kept busy with interesting (non destructive) things to do since Gran is (rightfully so) preoccupied/distracted by her husband’s health.[/QUOTE]
So what???
She might not have been deprived or a teddy bear and not allowed a Barbie doll or got told off for wetting the bed. Then again she might just be a snotty kid with parents who don’t give a damn and can’t establish boundaries.
It’s not the OP’s problem.
[QUOTE=facinated;3375304]
Originally Posted by Ghazzu
Back when dirt was still under patent and I was a kid, any child was fair game for a tongue-lashing from any adult if we were doing something we shouldn’t be.
Too bad this isn’t still the norm. It would save us all a lot of headaches.""
Yeah and back in those good old days women knew their place. Not to mention minorities. Progress sucks, in the good old days victims kept their mouths shut because they knew they would be put on trial, now people who abuse women, children , and animals actualy get in trouble.[/QUOTE]
It does take a village to raise a child. When I was a kid, we went to church with people who did not hesitate to correct you if you misbehaved. That was OK and as it should have been. My brother was misbehaving one time, and a grandfather type marched up, slid him over in the pew, took him by the arm and sat there that way the whole church service. My parents did not have any problem with that, and my brother was better for it.
Verbally discipling a child is not abuse. There has been some kidding on this thread about paint balls and such, but you have to have a sense of humor to see that it was kidding. The fact is that we live in such a litigious society that the bad actors can sue and win money because someone stood up to their bad behavior and reprimanded them for their bad behavior. THEY CAN ALSO SUE THE PROPERTY OWNER IF THEY GET HURT ON THE PROPERTY THEY ARE TRESPASSING ON. That is a sad state of affairs. This child was 100% in the wrong, and she committed criminal vandalism and harassment against the OP. She is also mentally abusing her grandmother. She needs some serious discipline and some serious intervention.
You were wrong. Can’t you just admit that, even if only to yourself, and drop it?
[QUOTE=hitchinmygetalong;3374855]
I would love to see this turn into one of those situations where you discover that underneath her brusque and bravado there is one scared, unloved, lost little girl who needs you and the horses to set her on the right track.
Guess I watch too many movies, huh?:winkgrin:[/QUOTE]
Yes! You should have the Disney channel and ABC Family removed from your cable service immediately! :lol::lol:
Aaah but is she a “good” witch or a “bad” witch?
Seriously, though, I am happy to hear that the girl has been identified and I hope that with you and the grandmother and the authorities all working together something can be done to straighten this kid out. There is nothing more toxic than an out-of-control teenager. They seem to have no regard for themselves or anyone or anything they come in contact with and they don’t seem to recognize the lasting impact that their actions can have. That doesn’t excuse their horrible behavior by any stretch of the imagination. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you don’t need it!
“You were wrong. Can’t you just admit that, even if only to yourself, and drop it?”
I am wrong about things every day and freely admit it. Provide a quote of something I have said here which was wrong?
“There has been some kidding on this thread about paint balls and such, but you have to have a sense of humor to see that it was kidding.” Has that Rancher person said they were kidding. I honestly believe them to have been serious.
Spare me. (Oh, and don’t attach others’ quotes to mine, while you’re at it.)
I’m probably older than you are.
I distinctly recall being told by my guidance counselor that I couldn’t be a DVM because I was a girl.
I did quit giving him tips on the horses after that.
There’s a rather wide gulf between a neighborhood where the kid playing with matches (or, for that matter, poking a dog with a stick or beating up a smaller child) could expect to be called on the behavior by any adult who witnessed it, and immunity for spousal abuse.
Oh, and BTW, my great grandmother ran her own business–a livery stable–and put 4 children through college on the proceeds.
I’m glad you’re keeping your appointment with the police. The kid has problems, and there’s no reason those problems should become yours.
In my line of work I see a whole lot of grandparents trying to raise grandchildren. Sometimes it works out great, but often it doesn’t, particularly in those cases where gramma and grampa are the same folks who raised Irresponsible Parent.
Are your schools on holiday now? If so, do you suppose the little head case will go back to her parent(s) when it resumes?
What the heck Thomas!?! Get a grip!
IF you had read any of my previous posts you would know what I think about this kid. But since you like to jump down my throat uninformed (as usual) I’ll hold your hand and explain that I am merely trying to dig in this kids head a little. It is apparent that the girl’s mother has been deficient in her parenting… not teaching poopkins manners, boundaries and consequences for her actions… effectively allowing her to grow up into an out of control and belligerent pre-teen.
Somebody set him straight here … something about sticking up for the kid while name-calling and putting down the posters on this bb.
I’d like to believe in the kid and straightern her out… she needs it.
Kooki, I think you have handled the situation admirably – much better than I would have had I discovered this Spawn of Satan on my land.
Good for you.
[QUOTE=Sakura;3375353]
What the heck Thomas!?! Get a grip!
IF you had read any of my previous posts you would know what I think about this kid. But since you like to jump down my throat uninformed (as usual)[/QUOTE] To be frank I’ve never even noticed you before this posting. As in NEVER. So please don’t get paranoid if I’ve been responding to anything you’ve said previously.
Its how bulletin boards work. Someone posts and someone else responds!
I’ll hold your hand and explain that I am merely trying to dig in this kids head a little. It is apparent that the girl’s mother has been deficient in her parenting… not teaching poopkins manners, boundaries and consequences for her actions… effectively allowing her to grow up into an out of control and belligerent pre-teen.
I thought that’s what you were trying to do but the answer is still, so what?
I think at this point I would make a bunch of reward flyers and post them everywhere- go to all your neighboring homes in the area and talk to them- the flyer should read along the lines of reward- offering reward of $XXX for information leading to the identity of preteen person repeatedly seen trespassing into my pastures and harrassing my livestock. Also seeking any information regarding the vandalism and removal of a fence on the same pasture. Police involvement will become necessary if the person or persons involved do not stop or are not identified… maybe this will scare the crap out of her enough to realize you are serious.
Glad I could assist. :lol:
:lol: Love it!!
My boyfriend grew up in the Cotswolds :winkgrin: I have driven through there also. My favorite pub is still there, and they even have a webcam now!
But I am with Kookicat, I have no clue where “Cotswald” is. :lol:
[QUOTE=Thomas_1;3375418]
I thought that’s what you were trying to do but the answer is still, so what?[/QUOTE]
Thomas, I’m with you. There have been several posts about this kid maybe having extreme intelligence and not being stimulated, or having family issues, or other “excuse” type psychology.
In the long run, it doesn’t matter if this child is Einstein, or bored, or a sociopath. It does NOT make her behavior acceptable or excusable. She still needs discipline or some kind of social intervention. There is no excuse for her behavior, and at 12-ish years old, she’s old enough to know better. That is true, REGARDLESS of her past.
don’t care
[QUOTE=MSUteamrider;3375445]
Thomas, I’m with you. There have been several posts about this kid maybe having extreme intelligence and not being stimulated, or having family issues, or other “excuse” type psychology.
In the long run, it doesn’t matter if this child is Einstein, or bored, or a sociopath. It does NOT make her behavior acceptable or excusable. She still needs discipline or some kind of social intervention. There is no excuse for her behavior, and at 12-ish years old, she’s old enough to know better. That is true, REGARDLESS of her past.[/QUOTE]
I don’t care if the person/child who is torturing my horses/dogs/cats/other people is white/black/brown, old/young/middleaged, smart/dumb/ average male/female straight/gay etc, the person needs to be stopped first.
then anyone who wants to delve into the dark recesses of this kid’s mind can do so. Not the op’s problem to straighten out the kid, just to protect her animals, and notify the neighbors that this kid COULD BE DANGEROUS.
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