Most good trainers already see the writing on the wall wrt your trainer. Don’t say anything other than you are exploring your options, and seeking to expand your education. Most people don’t stay in one place forever. It’s normal to move on eventually and people can tell when a trainer is more of a cult leader than a professional. Don’t worry too much.
I would try and lesson with some other trainers on their horses and see if you like them before moving to another training barn. It can be hard to find a boarding barn that allows outside trainers in some places, but that’s my preference for boarding—lucky to have one near several trainers that will travel to me.
In all those years never, ever had anybody who had any issues with “leaving because my goals have changed and I am going in a different direction then that barns program”. Or “it’s less drive time ”if that’s the case. Any other reasons are best left unsaid to either current or future trainer. Just don’t try to explain further or you could make it worse.
You might try to tactfully speak with current trainer and give them the opportunity to work more with you. But if you think she’ll go all drama queen on you, skip it.
Can almost guarantee you are not the only unhappy camper where you are and that undercurrent creates a vibe you are now feeling that all is not well.
Also almost guarantee other trainers in the area are aware something is going on with current trainer. Like CB said, small world with no secrets.
Anyway, trust your instincts this is no longer the right barn for you.
I was in a very similar situation a few years ago. Decided to leave Barn A. Visited Barn B. Owner/trainer of Barn B immediately contacted owner of Barn A. Much drama ensued. Ended up scrambling to move to Barn C. Over the years, I have tried to figure out how I could have handled it better. In this case trainer loyalty trumped loyalty to a client. My advice is to be prepared…
As horse owners, we see things at a barn differently than just being there as a lesson taker. When I started out on my horse journey, I thought my first lesson barn was just fine. But not long into horse ownership things like feeding schedules, turnout time, and general quality of the environment became important. So I moved to a far better place for the horse and was happy there. The first barn owner/trainer still carries a grudge over 40 years later that I left her cult.
Sometimes you just need to cowgirl up and do things for your horse and for your own peace of mind and happiness. And do not let the current barn situation get to the point that you avoid going out to see your horse. I vote move.
If you are in a position where social and emotional pressure is making you feel that you can’t make a move that is best for your horse, you are already getting sucked into the dysfunction. It is so easy to do especially if you have a friend relationship with your coach and if they confide or kvetch or vent to you.
As far as other trainers, you likely know if that trainer is a close associate of your trainer. If they are not, they may feel no particular compunction at “poaching clients.” You can use your vet as a reference. I’m on the board of our self board recreational barn that has a certain amount of turnover due to all kinds of reasons, interpersonal drama but also people wanting a training barn or burning out on self care or moving to a new town. I don’t think we have even once been asked for references.
Sorry, the “double dipping” phrase wasn’t clear. One of the two trainers of the potential new barn is the owner of both the boarding and training businesses. However, she has a dedicated, full-time barn manager who runs the day-to-day for the boarding business while she focuses on the training. That’s really attractive to me because a large part of the issue with my current trainer is that she can’t attract/retain qualified employees for the boarding side of things, so barn management tasks often pull her away from training (cancelled or late lessons, abbreviated training rides, multi-tasking while instructing). I’ve had one other trainer who was also the barn owner and she had similar issues, but to a much lesser degree. I may be making an unfair assumption, but I think that a trainer who has a barn manager to handle the boarding stuff will be able to focus on training more.
I have always trained with people who also own the farm.
Please drop the notion that you are at a barn that is the standard. That the owner has a revolving door of staff further points to her issue. This is a Red Alert for any professional be they Vet Dentist or the like. If they eat and spit out employees your care suffers in return
Many barns are managed and owned by professionals who manage quite well
Note the word professional
This is not double dipping, it is good practice management
That’s a great point. I hear some rumblings of discontent amongst my fellow boarders, but most people appear to be happy with or at least tolerating the current state of affairs? However, most boarders have been with this trainer for many years and aren’t interested in showing in more than local schooling shows. My trainer did have a “competition team” of about four or five horses whose riders were interested in showing more competitively, but two of those horses are gone (one retired, the other is moving across the country) and one more will be leaving mid-summer. I am interested in showing more competitively and my trainer knows this, but I’ve heard rumors that she isn’t planning to go to rated shows this summer because there aren’t enough horses to make it worthwhile. Right now, we have a schooling show about once every two months. I think that’s fine for the stage my horse is currently in (though I’d love to at least expose him to bigger shows this summer, if not compete), but I want to be training and preparing with bigger shows in mind and that’s not happening.
I really can’t tell how invested she is in my horse - she wasn’t that involved in his purchase? She was looking for me, had been for a few months, but I found him myself, asked her to review videos and give her opinion, and when she signed off on him, I travelled out to try and ultimately buy him. Since bringing him home, she has said that he’s going to be a lovely horse and can’t wait to see what he looks like in six months, but those have been a couple offhand remarks and she hasn’t showed any special interest in his development. Based on that, I would be surprised if she felt invested in him, but I could be wrong!
Yes. You are making a broadbrush assumption there. You’re also blissfully unaware of the myriad of problems that can happen when the trainer is not in charge of the horse management.
In fact, I would say more problems are often the result of the trainer being unable to insist on the quality of care they want for their clients horses.
What you described is not called double dipping. Double dipping is when a trainer receives compensation for both selling and finding a horse in a sales situation.
These are all red flags the business is declining. Move now. It’s really easy to start to accept drama and decline and that having a rotating crew of 12 year old “working students” covering all chores for a vague promise of lessons is normal good business practice. As an example.
Ideally you want a trainer who has control over the care of the horses but is delegating the daily grunt work to a barn manager and staff if needed. You do not want your lesson delayed because trainer has to go do waters or turnout or run out to buy grain. That’s not good use of their skills or time.
It’s a sign of general collapse of the business model. I would get out
I think we’re talking about two different things. I’m fine with the trainer having the ultimate say over the quality of care for boarding horses, I just don’t want the trainer in a position of being regularly responsible for day-to-day care. I get that things go wrong and employees call out, but ideally there would be enough redundancy so that the trainer is regularly late to or cancelling lessons because they’re stuck filling water buckets or mucking because the morning chores person called out. I’m totally good if the trainer checks on water buckets and can issue directions to an employee if the water buckets are empty or dirty or whatever.
You are paying for her to train you and she is no longer offering the training you or your horse need. Her personal issues or " what may happen care wise-- down the road" doesn’t even need to be a factor.
This is a business relationship plain and simple. You are a paying client and not getting what you want. You have found a (possible) place that will meet your needs. Go look further into the new place and if you want to move, just tell her their training program is a better fit for your needs at this time.
Boarding barns and trainers lose clients and get new clients all the time. It is the nature of this business.
omg a very poignant example, there’s another barn in our area that is NOTORIOUS for taking in desperate horse-crazy girls, working them ragged, and then tossing them onto fresh OTTBs for lessons in exchange. It’s a really bad situation. My current barn doesn’t do that, at least we have adults coming and going through our revolving door lol
Double dipping might also be taking board payments, but using the money for buying and feeding sales horses instead of covering costs. Watching client horses lose weight as a trainer brought in sales horses who were getting shiny and fat on the groceries the clients’ horses should have been getting was super educational.
There are lots of ways boarders can be taken advantage of in a sales/training barn. OP is getting a bad feeling because some shadiness is probably happening. Definitely not the norm, but it is common enough.
The odds of you finding a new barn quickly that really satisfies you may be slim. You should anticipate more than this one move to finally settle into the right place for you. There is nothing wrong with moving a few times as a new horse owner as your skills, knowledge, and interests develop.
You may discover that dressage, fox hunting, or eventing are better suited for you and the new horse than hunter shows.
Obviously it’s not ideal to move him so soon, but sounds like the downsides of staying outweigh that. Plus if you want him to be a show horse, he should get used to changing environments.
I wouldn’t mention your current barn or why it’s not a good fit. But chances are they will ask you, in which case I would focus on what you are looking for and how this barn sounds like it will meet your needs better. I would be very careful not to say anything negative whatsoever about your current barn. If pressed to reveal your current barn, I would be upfront and say that you are just exploring options and would appreciate that your inquiry is kept confidential as you have not made any decisions yet.
I moved barns recently, I’m in an area where everyone knows everyone else and yes new BOs I spoke with all wanted to know where I was currently. But I focused on the positives of the place I was at and why their place would be a better fit.
One barn I visited was full but taking names on a wait list. The owner suggested I check out another local barn that has a very busy lesson program (totally not what I was looking for). I made a comment that I thought it seemed like a great barn for someone looking to show a lot but that I was looking for something a bit quieter. Immediately I could tell the owner appreciated that I kept my comments about that barn positive.
Keep the details to a minimum and stay positive. Thank them and be appreciative for what they have done for you.
When I left current barn, I told BO it was an extremely difficult decision and listed some of the things I would genuinely miss about the place. I didn’t exactly specify why I was leaving. I wasn’t sure how they would respond but I know they were sorry to see me and my horse go. But we kept things positive and my last 30 days were fine.
Honestly, making a move is hard. I would say that by the time you are feeling like it needs to happen it’s actually probably already overdue. And in retrospect I have not regretted any of moves I’ve had to make over the years. But I definitely do my homework before making a move.
Yes, I was going to ask the commission question too. You may feel she did little or nothing in the search and buy process, but she may feel that you owe her something. And, I actually think that you do. You did have her looking for a horse for you, and you used her expertise to review videos. Did you even ask her to go with you to look at the horse in person after she reviewed videos for you? That she seems to not be invested in the horse if you cut her out of the process should not be a surprise.
