Some of you may have saw my post about struggling with two horses, where neither horse could really do what i was wanting at this point in time.
Well i have decided the best thing for me would be to sell my two horses, and purchase one horse that is already trained and suitable for what i want to do.
However, im really struggling with the thought of letting go of my older mare. I have had her six years. She is my heart horse, my perfect match personality wise. We are closely bonded and she has a level of trust with me she doesnt have with other people. She is also having some lameness issues. She is fine for flatwork and trails, but not suitable for barrel racing which is my passion.
If i let her go, it will only be to her previous owner, not only do we have a contract that i have to offer the mare back to her, but she is a personal friend of mine who i respect greatly and taught me everything i know about horses. If she wont take her (there is a high chance she will.) i dont think i can let her go, with her lameness and sometimes attitude problems she could very easily end up in a bad spot and it worries me. She cannot pack beginners and needs a handler with some experiance, as she is a large thoroughbred who is quite forward moving and can occasionally get hot. though she is totally safe, just not the slow type.
Anyways, if i do have to let her go, does anyone have any advice on how to cope? I will be happy she is somewhere that will look after her, though there is a chance she could be rehomed later on to someone else… im so heart broken. If i had my own land, she would living out her days with me. In a year or two when i can get some id love to get her back…
Check if her old owner will take her back. Then worry about what happens if she won’t. Bottom line is that when you rehome a horse, you no longer control the horse’s fate. There is limited use for a chronically lame horse. Perhaps an easier job will work for her. If not, I would not rule out euthanasia.
Yeah, let me tell you what you should do, responsibly, for your “heart horse.”
First, you are responsible for the horse for the rest of her life. You don’t give her back to someone because she’s broken and cannot be used by you for what you want.
You find a spot for her that is safe where you can keep track of her and make sure she gets the care she needs.
And then you go get another job so you can afford another horse.
It bewilders me how you can talk about this horse as your heart horse and then quickly discuss how you need to sell her because you need to get a horse that suits what you want to actually do.
A lame, difficult horse likely will not fare well anywhere, and you know this.
I’m hoping this is just a troll post.
If this was truly your heart horse, you would keep her. Regardless of what she can “accomplish” for you! She gave you six good years. Now you owe her. I don’t understand the reasoning of trading in a broken horse for something that will be able to do what you want. I think this is an incredibly selfish way of thinking. sometimes life happens and people really DO have to find a home for their heart horse. But according to you this isn’t the case here. Sometimes we have to put our dreams and wants aside to take care of our responsibilities to the animals in our care.
Seriously? People were telling me to do this on this site. It would be a better life for her.
i work 12 hour days already at a good wage make enough money. If i keep her, the only boarding facility i can have her at has very small pens with shelters. She is used to being in a large herd, at her old owners place where i boarded her for years on 300 acres. I tried moving her and she was not happy, and acting out because of it. Why would i keep her just for her not to be happy? I cannot keep her at the old place anymore because they are closing, the fences and barn are falling apart and the landlord wont fix anything. She is moving too far for me to board with her anymore.
She is definitely not lame enough to be put down. She can still trail ride all day and ride at all gates. She has days where she is totally fine and days where she isnt. Vet hasnt been able to figure it out, dont have all the money in the world to keep pouring into it when she isnt even sore anymore by the time the vet makes it there. Tried supplements and drugs works for a bit then but then has a bad day again. She is fine 90 % of the time but it comes out of nowhere she seems fine then all the sudden she is sore. So not suitable for anything fast paced. she needs to be out on pasture not in a paddock or she gets stiff and miserable and stocks up. If my friend doesnt want her, im keeping her. Like i said i cant trust leaving her with anyone else. If you are not going to give actual advice then dont bother commenting as if you know anything about me or the horse anyways. She could definitely go on to make an intermediate rider happy, but like i already said i cant leave her with anyone else.
I see no problem giving her to someone who loves her as much as i do and has taken care of her for almost that entire 6 years. When you ride competetively its something you have to do. Not everybody keeps their childhood ponies forever when they need to move up to a horse that is suitable for their level of riding ?
Someone told you to sell a lame horse?
OK, how about this. How about you keep her in your name, and you pay her former owner to board her out there. Seems like a great compromise, wouldn’t you say? That way you know she’s well cared for on this incredible facility speak of, but there’s no chance of her being given to someone else, right?
Problem solved.
And let’s be real, no one needs to move up. You want to move up. And if your childhood pony can go on to a great home, so be it. I could never sell a horse, so I only have one because that’s how many I know I can care for for the rest of his hopefully extremely long life.
It’s not about me, it’s about the animal. And you aren’t talking about her childhood pony who can go on to another owner. You were talking about a chronically lame horse, undiagnosed, who is a lot to handle and has to have special care.
Remind me who owes whom?
If you want to move up, and you don’t make enough money to care for another horse plus the horse you already have and you cannot safely sell her on, Then you either have to change your goals or you have to have more money.
You are very closed minded if you think nobody should ever sell a horse, and have obviously never had very serioius riding or competition goals. Not everyone just has horses as pets. Also Lots of people sell horses as companions or to homes to be used for dressage or flatwork only. And im not even talking about selling her. Im talking about giving her to somebody that loves her, and can provide a better life for her at this point and get some use out of her. She is not hard to handle, she is just an energectic horse, who is still perfectly able to have a job with somebody that actually knows how to ride. In case you couldnt read, i said i work a shit load all ready, make good money, and can afford two horses. But i dont have anywhere here that i can keep her properly. Boarding her out there isnt an option. I cant exactly drive hours everyday to feed her. But okay ill keep the horse so she can be bored out of her mind in a pen, even though i have someone i can trust that can give her the life she is used to.
There are no good forever homes for middle aged horses of questionable soundness.
NO ONE wants your broken horse- YOU don’t even want your broken horse.
There are ONLY three ethical options here:
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Put horse to sleep and buy another- she is SAFE and LOVED for every minute of her life. This is not an unreasonable option if you can’t afford two and MUST compete.
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Keep broken horse semi retired until she passes of age or illness or accident as they all must in the end. Put love over money and ribbons.
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Sell non broken horse, keep broken horse and get another non broken horse. You can afford two now? Selling them doesn’t magically mean you can;t still afford two.
Hard cold life lesson,
You can do ANYTHING you want in life- as long as it is the ONLY thing.
Decide what matters most and choose.
I would sell my body, sell my soul, sell everything I own, before I would send my mare away- Sound or lame, old or young, I made her the same promise I make to every one of my animals.
“My ladies have promised that I shall never be sold, and so I have nothing to fear; and here my story ends. My troubles are all over, and I am at home.”
So you [edit] would rather the horse DIE and be put to sleep than have a good life with someone who can care for her? Wow. And its also better for her to be stuck in a pen by herself and be miserable!? How are those better options ! Listen to urselves!
Quit the name calling and be an adult. The truth is often not an easy pill to swallow. Sell your ypung horse, you know what you should do. Ask the old owner if they want the older mare then worry about it if she won’t.
Seriously though quit the name calling/edit your post, you will only get bannned.
So, give her to your trainer friend, offer to pay her basic expenses (if your friend declines, that’s wonderful, but you should at least offer) and be appreciative that your horse has a soft place to land and the possibility of a nice long life in another situation.
Yes, people sell horses they have enjoyed, move up, move down all the time. But, that’s not “heart horse,” that’s not all that much of a “struggle,” and I’m not sure what you’re looking for when you ask for help in coping with selling two horses in order to buy what you want. If you want to sell your horses and buy a better match, just man up and own your decision.
If you work such long hours, could I gently ask whether it is reasonable for you to have a horse at this time in life? Working 12-hour days does not lend itself to being able ride consistently, or at least it wouldn’t for me. Never mind the time can take to find the right horse in the first place. Perhaps it is time to take a couple years off from horses and focus on your career, and maybe resume horse stuff when you’re able to offer more time and a better boarding barn?
That Sugerwells said. Why all the drama? Contact the old owner and see if she can be returned. Sounds like a great solution – you respect her and she likes the horse. It’s not a problem unless the old owner declines.
If the other horse does not suit and is saleable, then sell him. Then buy what you want.
My heart horse is broken. I have had him for 19 years, and could never bring myself to sell him. So I free leased him as a companion. It actually worked, and he came back to me when my lessee moved. I bought and sold many a horse while I’ve had him, but he’s always been “mine”.
If you’re struggling with selling the horse, can you possibly free lease her as a companion or broodmare?
If you’re unhappy with your boarding situation, are there other options? What about sending her to a retirement home where they handle everything, so you don’t have to? I do think contacting the previous owner and offering her your mare - either giving her away or free leasing her - is a great idea.
I understand this is a big decision, and a heartbreaking one. You only want what is best for her. But you also need to realize that you have limited options for a mare who isn’t sound 100% of the time. Keep her, sell her, free lease her, or yes, put her down. You asked for help making a decision. If it were me, I’d talk to the previous owner, and if she refused to take the mare, I’d either find a way to move her to a better location for retirement, sell/lease her to someone else, or seriously consider euthanasia. If you can’t do any of those things, then you keep her, and focus on finding a barn where she will be happy, even if it’s farther than you want to drive.
Wasnt asking what i should do, sorry but there is something seriously wrong with you if you think a horse should die rather than be go be with someone that can provide a better life. Theres no reason to give such backlash, i really dont care if its not something you would do, its better for the horse! Maybe people should read instead of assuming things ? Because i already said im doing it so the horse can stay where she knows and be happier! That seems like a good thing to me! And this is someone who said they wanted her back if i got to a point where i no longer did, someone who knows the horse knows every issue and has a use for her. Really dont care at this point if i get kicked off because i will no longer be using this site, uncalled for to be so judgemental. If its not something you agree with, move on.
There is nothing wrong with this facility, just not a good fit for this particular mare, its full board so i dont have to worry about that. but thats exactly why i wanted to go down to one horse so i can put more focus on competition. get lots of time off if i want it. Probably work less days in a year than most people but make more than enough.
Actually i didnt ask for help making a decision ? Read the title.
I already said id keep her if my friend doesnt want her in my very first post.
So, OP isn’t helping her case by lashing out and name-calling but I think some of you are being a little harsh.
Isn’t an old owner who loves and cares for the horse and is willing to take her back a pretty ideal situation? Why would it be so awful of OP to take advantage of that, especially since the old owner wanted the horse back enough to write in a right of first refusal? The mare has lived there before happily and would get lots of group turnout, vs. living in a pen alone if OP keeps her. OP specifically said in her first post that she won’t rehome the horse except to the old owner. Setting aside the “heart horse” melodrama, what is so terrible about this?? (As an aside, does our responsibility to our horses really hinge on whether they are our “heart horses” or not??)
And yes, someone on OP’s other thread did suggest she sell both her horses and get one that is more suitable. Not terrible advice, IMO.
It sounded to me like you were looking for advice. Okay, maybe validation, but definitely something from the COTH community. If you already knew what you were going to do, why did you post?
ok, barring the defensiveness in the post – couple things:
i think if you can find a companion lease, that would be ideal. i would not sell her - people dump their lame horses all the time… it’s very sad.
however, one thing you haven’t considered – can you possibly switch disciplines to something both you and the mare can enjoy? barrel racing is very hard on horses and it has high wastage – i’m not surprised to hear at all you have two barrel racers that aren’t sound. however depending on injury, there are many less strenuous disciplines than barrel-racing out there… and it’s fun to learn new skills with horses you already have a bond with.
i had to switch from my passion (eventing) to dressage with one of my geldings due to a pretty horrific paddock injury . he can still jump, and would be okay with lower level eventing, but his body would last longer if he was a dressage horse. do i miss galloping XC? uh, yeah – but i also know that this was the right career change for my guy, and he is in good hands, and will never be in a situation where he does not have someone advocating for him… and that, to me, is worth the peace of mind.
for a long time i thought about selling him, or rehoming him… but it wasn’t right for him and in the end, i think i knew that. he’s a very fancy mover, is pretty sensible, good trail horse, and the best ground manners in the world… but he’s sensitive and really needs a quiet ride. he won’t buck or rear, but he has some other quirks that make him a tough resell. a lot of it is physical - he has some physical issues (kissing spine) that make his maintenance a little exhaustive for a low level horse - all told, i wouldn’t be able to sell him for what his training is worth, and his quirks make him a horse that i could see ending up in a bad situation.
i’m surprised by the tone some posters elected to take with you, as we have discussions on this forum all the time about the tough reality and logistics people face when they can only afford one or two horses. most people would agree that life is short, and if you only have the finances for one or two, that it’s better to move the unsuitable horses along rather than to sacrifice yourself, your happiness, and your wallet, for a horse that isn’t doing you any favors. however, you mentioned this was a “heart horse” which is probably where all the pushback is coming from… that and… if this was a horse that became unsound because of what you were asking, well, you do owe it to the horse to ensure their future is safe.
either way, you have a tough decision ahead of you. i understand if finances are limited, that your options will be too. i can only afford one horse at a time – right now i have the gelding above – would it be nice to be competing right now, going prelim or foxhunting? yeah, it really would… but i gotta do what’s right by my horse – and this is what is right for him.
