And sometimes a cutsie little poem is . . . . . . just a cutsie little poem.
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You donāt have to sweep anything under the rug. Everyone should feel free to discuss the caseā¦ I do, @Jealoushe does, @Manni01 does, @ToN_Farm does, plenty of us do. Thereās a way to do it and be mindful that the victim in the middle of this whole thing is here in the thread reading the comments.
You just donāt have to make jokes comparing her to some reality tv character, or make jokes about her alcohol consumption or drug abuse, or jokes about her mental status. Or poems for that matter. Itās wildly insensitive and unnecessary.
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Thanks eggbutt!
For the record: had LK herself not sent me a rather nasty message accusing me of libel, on a post from two years ago - my only post - where I stated that I had seen on SM a report of X (as a general query), I probably would not be posting or even following these threads.
But now Iām drawn in like an ABC Yelper.
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Then share it with your friends if you really need to be cute and witty. If I got shot and saw dozens of you acting like this is some kind of fun entertainment and making jokes and sharing poems Iād be beside myself.
Reminder that the poem wasnāt about LK at all - it was about the thread being quiet for a change. I actually assumed the author was enjoying the reign of peace that began once YD was bannedā¦
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It doesnāt matter. Would you be making poems and cute little jokes in those eventing threads where someone dies and then a family member or friend comes on to express their grief?
Iād hope no, because Iād hope everyone here can understand that thereās a time and a place and when someone is hurting or when someone experienced a trauma we should all be sensitive to that. Same should apply here even if the person is a terrible human being. Which for the record, Iām not denyingā¦ I donāt know her so Iām not defending her character.
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Are you a moderator here? I donāt see that title by your name.
Generally speaking, only the moderator gets to tell posters what content is acceptable here.
You can try to dictate to other posters if you like, but you might not have much luck with it. As you may have noticed by now.
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You have just crossed the line into the ridiculous. Iāll write what I want, when I want with my own big girl words and YOU do not get to fabricate, imagine or imply an alternate meaning.
Iāve explained my obvious intent and clearly typed meaning. If you donāt like it TOUGH. But you DO NOT get to dictate or alter the meaning of my words.
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My Godā¦ā¦ why does an irrelevant poster always have to swoop in and make a thread about themselves ā¦ā¦ after saying Iām done a nauseating amount of times ā¦. There has to be more productive ways of getting attention , just sayinā
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Houseguest?
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Thatās just a mean thing to say about someone.
Likewise. You have every right to be as insensitive and inappropriate as you want and I have every right to tell you that I think youāre being insensitive and inappropriate. It works both ways.
No Iām not but that doesnāt mean Iām not allowed to have an opinion on the behavior here. Sorry I just donāt think that LKās behavior should be the gold standard. Some people here I expect it but a lot of people here Iāve admired for their ability to be mature and be the bigger person.
I think a lot of nasty, over the line, behavior has gotten normalized on these LK vs MB threads for the past 2 years and a lot of us are guilty of it. (Yes, myself very much included)
The interesting thing is Equkelly themself was banned from CE last year after getting into it hot and heavy on an election thread. Yeah, the kind of toxic, non horse related thread many of us on COTH just avoid.
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I got banned from CE for saying āyouāre (g) a hateful idiot if you canāt understand why a white woman physically attacking a black teenager is racist.
And for the record that ādebateā started over whether or not itās ok to use a racial slur. That poster later got banned hereā¦ as of like 2 days ago.
Edit- I cannot wait for you guys to get another of these threads shut down without LK or YD. Maybe then youāll start to realize that they were never the only bad actors and that some of you are also part of the problem. 
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I was not aware of that.
But it reinforces my earlier confusion at the idea of banning someone from just one forum on the BB, since they will behave the same way again in the other forums.
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So, no court date yet. But seriously, how long can this actually be dragged out?
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Apparently quite a long time.
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Remember Covid closed the courts.
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I did not follow the CE thread that Equkelly was banned from and I donāt know what the context was. Itās quite likely I wouldnāt disagree with the position she was taking.
However clearly some line of behavior was overstepped.
Online life, even more than real life, is as toxic or benign as you choose to make it. I mean in real life you might have to deal with obnoxious family or colleagues. But online, social media, itās just recreation for anyone who isnāt trying to sell things online. If you donāt want toxic or conflict then you drop out, block, or choose your debates.
If you seek toxic or conflicts you will find them, even if you need to create them.
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Maybe youāll get your wish and the thread will be locked. Then you can feel happy and accomplished. Yes, then those bullies will really be shown the error of their ways! I think thatās your point here? But Iām not sure.
I donāt feel as though a shooting victim should have to come on here and defend themselves. However, comparing how youād feel if it happened to you is different. You have a different history, different feelings, and we donāt all experience and deal with trauma the same way. This goes for any situation, really. Sure you can speculate and say, āIf x happened to me, Iād be ā¦ā but itās a bit narrow to assume all others would also be/feel/react the same way as you. However, I accept it as an attempt to relate personally and understand a situation. We all do it. We all say āIād be pissed/upset/sad/horrified/etc. If that happened to me.ā
I think if the past history and dramatics werenāt there, and the victim was never on this BB, these threads wouldāve been dead in the water long ago, in this case.
The other thing is that what one considers bullying, another considers as a differing opinion. Itās not uncommon that people come on here for advice, receive good and practical advice, but donāt want to take it (for a variety of reasons: stubbornness, donāt want to be wrong, cost too much, too much effort, doesnāt align with their views). Then they claim they are bullied. Whereas really, people offered advice from a good place but they just didnāt want to take it and/or face the real issue head on. This ābullyingā term has become overused and tired. Just because someone doesnāt agree with you, share your view, or support your actions (or lackof), doesnāt mean they are a bully. Sometimes people do have to get a little āstrongā with some posters, but usually it is when they are advocating for the welfare of the horse.
Plus, Iām not sure when the āYouāre a bully! Youāre terrible and need to stop!ā has ever really worked on a true, real, bully. Itās one of those things that you can choose to go on a tiring crusade about, or say your thoughts (mostly for your own sake) then move on and focus your energy elsewhere.
I understand some of your points, such as engaging with a mentally unstable (I cannot recall your exact terms, but something along those lines) individual often being fruitless. If you know the person is whack, unstable, crazy, etc. I do agree itās often best to not engage. Thatās a really good point.
However, accusing everybody on these threads of bullying or whatever doesnāt get anyone anywhere. Itās better (but more effort) to cite/quote specific examples. This bolsters your argument and might be better received. When someone, in general, busts in here and goes āyouāre all whack/mean/loons/nuts/whateverā it just ticks people off. Then the person making those claims goes, āOh look! You are bullies!ā When people question them and what exactly theyāre going on about. It ticks people off because theyāre painted with a broad brush. Sure some might be bullies, mean, or engaging in mockery. The ones that arenāt though, have the right to be offended and ask questions. Some are still trying (Iāve sort of given up, tbh) to wrap their heads around this whole debacle and tragedy. Their asking questions when things donāt add up, isnāt bullying or shaming. Itās an attempt to understand a crazy situation. I do think some have more tact than others, yes.
The victim isnāt obligated to answer any of these questions either. Some feel that she is. Mostly because sheās posted here, made herself available for contact, and said things that donāt quite add up (could be a few reasons for that). I think most have accepted that itās just awaiting game to see what the official verdict(s) will be though.
I do think some on here have become a bit too involved and interested, and some have not behaved in such a nice way.
It is incredibly frustrating, on a basic human level, when people make wild claims or are involved in such an unreal situation but offer no understandable explanation. This whole situation and the behaviors from all parties is just so unreal to most of us that lead mundane (by choice) lives. So donāt mistake curiosity for an attack. Sometimes there may be attacks, but not always and not from everybody.
Just my thoughts and some perspectives on the matter.
This point by Scribbler, is also quite true and relevant:
"Online life, even more than real life, is as toxic or benign as you choose to make it. I mean in real life you might have to deal with obnoxious family or colleagues. But online, social media, itās just recreation for anyone who isnāt trying to sell things online. If you donāt want toxic or conflict then you drop out, block, or choose your debates.
If you seek toxic or conflicts you will find them, even if you need to create them."
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