Crone flummoxed by feral cat

[The_Crone_of_Cottonmouth_Count]

Woe betide me, a feral cat has slunk its way into the burgeoning menagerie here at Dreadful Acres.

I am not catty, so at first I gave it the cold shoulder. I naturally assumed it was just passing through on its way to a more cat-indulgent farm, a place where the inhabitants sit around all day musing, “wouldn’t it be awesome if a terrible-looking feral cat showed up?” But for some reason, despite my unwavering failure to tempt it with Fancy Feasts, this cat kept hanging around looking tragic. After three days I could bear to look upon its scrawny countenance no longer. I suffered a psychotic break and made a trip into town for some cat food (and some liquor).

Fast forward a week. The pathetic little cat has taken up residence under the horse trailer. It won’t come near me, but has learned that I am pretty obliging with the Wellness Cubed Turkey Morsels in Savory Gravy, so whenever I show up in the yard it starts yowling plaintively and looking extra bedraggled, shadowing me at a distance precisely calculated to prevent me from determining its sex or whether it has any observable injuries, infestations, or diseases. The yowling continues until I produce the Turkey Morsels, ceases for 57 seconds while Turkey Morsels are inhaled, then resumes in an effort to extract more Turkey Morsels, until I go back in the house or a dog shows up to chase it into the woods.

As a crone who hasn’t had a cat in over 30 years (and never a wild one), my questions are many:

Is the godawful yowling normal hungry-cat behavior, or could it be indicative of an emergent medical condition? The cat doesn’t seem to be limping or bleeding, and the yowling didn’t start until I began feeding it, but what do I know?

Can a feral cat be tamed?

Is it a realistic expectation that a rank cat amateur such as myself might somehow catch it and get it to the vet without suffering lacerations? What is the recommended course of action?

Assuming it isn’t rabid or worse, can a cat live in an unheated barn, or are modern feline requirements such that an old saddle blanket in the tack room – the traditional bedding given the barn cats of my youth – is now considered abusive?

Is it even ethical to keep an outside cat in coyote country? Do they have any other predators I’m forgetting about?

And most importantly, how do I deal with my gnawing fear that this is a gateway kitty, and that if it starts rubbing my leg and purring I’ll be headed inexorably down a thorny road at the end of which is Crone-as-cat-lady?

[jen-s]

Pics or it didn’t happen!

I’d say the yowling is it’s unsophisticated way of begging for food. I’d feed it MORE.

Taming–yes, it’s possible, but not necessarily easy. Feed more food.

Bwahahahaha… No. Lacerations are likely unavoidable. But with sufficient band-aids and neosporin, you’ll heal…eventually. Consider trapping kitty with a trap or crate and food. Lots of food. Stinky food is best.

Saddle blankets make great beds. A barn cat recently swiped my Ecogold saddle pad in a misguided attempt at a bedding upgrade–feline 0, human 1.

That’s trickier. Coyotes are hell on cats. So too are raccoons. And rattlesnakes. Methinks kitty should become an indoor kitty immediately.

Your crystal ball is remarkably accurate. I recommend you turn your spidey senses towards lottery number ascertainment as you’ll need lots of income to keep kitty in the lap of luxury it deserves.

(Welcome to the dark side)

[shiningwizard255]

First, I love the way you write…your post had me cracking up. Bless you for helping the kitty out.

Do you have any of those TNR groups near you? Maybe they could help you trap the kitty to get it checked out and fixed. Or maybe you could borrow one of those Havaheart traps, maybe from like a local humane society.

My cats split a can of food as a treat every night when I get home from work and my one cat goes CRAZY, meowing as though he hasn’t eaten in three weeks. And I free feed dry food so there is always something for them to eat. So yeah they can be pretty vocal for food, especially if it’s super yummy.

Barn cats are common in my area but yeah, predators like coyotes are a real concern. Around here they generally aren’t coddled…they get fed and watered, and sleep in the hay or barn, wherever they can find a warm spot to rest.

I’ve never tamed a feral so I can’t offer tips but if it’s already meowing at you for food, I’m thinking that’s a good sign you can at least make the cat a barn cat. Pics???

[VaqueroToro]

[QUOTE=The Crone of Cottonmouth County;6609606]

And most importantly, how do I deal with my gnawing fear that this is a gateway kitty…[/QUOTE]

:lol:

ALL kitties are gateway kitties!

I don’t have any experience catching ferals, but if no one else chips in with that info, you might be able to check with your vet for tips and/or information about local feral groups that catch, spay/neuter, and release them. I do know some have been “tamed” and are more friendly towards humans.

The yowling is most likely its way of saying “human with tasty noms, feed me now!” My own do the frantic mewls – the louder one sounding like I’m beating a small child – whenever the wet food or treats come out.

My prior unheated barn had several kitties who hung out in the hay loft or the tack room and weren’t worse for wear. As long as they have an unfrozen source of water, food, and somewhere to answer nature’s call, they’re pretty self sustaining. If you’re worried, you could always make a nice cozy nest of loose straw or hay chaff in a secluded area as a bed.

[mvp]

In answer to your questions, not in the order you asked them.

1. The only way to tell if you have been remiss in your feeding of Turkey Whatnot with Savory Gravy is to feed more. Early and often.

2. You don’t tame a feral cat; it tames you. This one has made a fine start. One thing you can do is act like the determined bellhop: Feed and refuse to leave, waiting for a tip. Bring a big ol’ diet coke and lawn chair the first few times if that will help with your resolve.

2a. Or wait until it gets cold and deliver the Turkey Whatnot to a sheltered spot closer to your door. No point in putting yourself out for a cat who tells you that he/she can take the elements. Cats generally don’t lie about things like this… until they see that they are being offered a better deal. If some kind of back porch is your desired destination for Kitteh, be sure to put a bed next to the food. A cat won’t check into an hotel room that’s not properly equipped.

3. Your first mistake with respect to catching the cat is revealing an ulterior motive that sounds like business but reeks of terrorism. You don’t mention the initial catching and vet in the same breath. Not to the cat, not to anyone.

4. I don’t think you have enough of a relationship with this cat to begin discussing the ethics of you, the cat and coyote country. Also, you are discussing factual “is-es” and “oughts” (can a cat live in a tack room? and Should a cat live outdoors?) in the same breath. Those are logically distinct, though many people conflate them. Cats, like most animals, rarely make the same mistake. Learn from the cat at his/her knee. You might have to stoop pretty low to do this. Don’t hurt yourself.

[Paddys_Mom]

Well, the best way to get rid of the cat is to catch him and take him to the vet, spending hundreds for vaccinations and neutering. :winkgrin:

[oliverreed]

I agree with jen-s on all counts, being a very experienced and dedicated cat crone myself. And LOVE the way you both write! Good luck and enjoy!!!

[onelanerode]

Your tale sounds very similar to mine!

I was also not a “cat” person and had no intention of becoming an old cat lady (now, an old dog lady is still a distinct possibility).

And then one day while out walking my dogs, DH and I were talking about how wonderful life was, how great our dogs got along, and our peaceful reverie was rudely interrupted by the determined mewlings of this scrappy little girl, who was convinced we were her new family despite both dogs’ equally determined conviction that she was to be lunch, immediately if not sooner.

She started out living on the screened porch, where she quickly discovered that people = food. And that was good. After a few rounds of people = food, and finding that was good, she also discovered that people = scratching those itchy spots, which was also good.

We did have a tiny setback when she had her first bath, but it was clear she had an infestation, and that was NOT coming in the house. After the bath (which went surprisingly well, all things considered) she moved into the laundry room. And then the yowling started. It turns out that, baths aside, she rather liked people and the good things they stood for, wasn’t fazed by the dogs and their shenanigans, and was not best pleased by being kept in the laundry room. We tried to wait her out, but the godawful yowling, as you put it, was making everyone crazy.

So now she rules the house, does kitteh rolls on all my rugs and seems quite pleased with her elevated living situation.

And I will admit she is rather cute.

In fact I’ve even thought about adding a second kitteh, should the right opportunity arise. :eek:

Fireplace gloves make great gauntlets for doing battle with kittehs … just FYI, in case your feral friend is in need of a vet visit before he or she has fully realized that people are the source of Many Good Things. :yes:

[Mara]

I read every thread Crone starts, just because I LOVE her writing! If she doesn’t have a regular writing gig, she should. :yes:

[ManyDogs]

We had a poor little black kitten stroll out of the fields a few years ago. She looked to be oh, four months old. She resided in the barn. One day, I inexplicably ( thank you autocorrect for helping me spell that) came home from the local shelter with a Snowshoe kitteh-already spayed- for the grand sum of $15. Ok, two cats will work. Oddly enough, I thought I heard little baby meows coming from our garage two days later. Seems black kitteh was just petite, and now a baby momma. Off to the vet she went to stem the kitteh flow. But the word was out. Kittehs came.
We now have ten cats. You Will become the cat lady. Accept and embrace it. I mean, every crone needs lots o’ kittehs.
You will also say “one meal a day! If you are still hungry- go catch something!”
Kittehs don’t listen. They prefer to look pitiful. Darwin works for them. Me? Not so much.

[The_Shadow]

[QUOTE=Mara;6609952]
I read every thread Crone starts, just because I LOVE her writing! [/QUOTE]

Me too!

[tallyho392]

ahhhhhh yes,a feral cat is always a gateway cat…the feral underground community always sends a scout out first, to test the reaction and response of the human inhabitants…if a favorable response is detected, reenforcements are called in, and you are soon feeding a vast assortment of motley, and yet,somehow endearing, crew of cats…most of them will have missing or mangled body parts…there is almost always a pirate or two in the crowd,easily identifiable by the one-eyed squint…just be sure to pay attention to which eye is closed, to avoid the embarrassing situation of being “had” by a cat, as they have been known to alternate which eye needs to be squinted shut, just for recreational purposes…they may be “tamed” in much the same way a hurricane may be put in a plastic bag…generally speaking, the “tameness” lasts as long as the cat does not suspect anything remotely undignified or potentially painful is about to occur…for at that moment, the cat that had previously been snuggling and enjoying a lovely scratch while perched on your unsuspecting lap, can instantly transform into what can only be described as the feline version of a gas powered brush hog, slicing and dicing its way through your flesh and bone…even with the incident years in the past , the scars remaining on your flesh will allow you to horrify strangers with tales of your death defying escape from the jaws of an alligator, shark, or other fearsome predator…this minor embellishment of the truth will allow you to justify to others your nightly ritual of stiing on the mounting blocks and flinging forkfulls of tinned cat food into the semi circle of partially tamed felines that mysteriously appear every night at dusk, all for the chance that one might grace you with a purr, a soft tap on your leg, asking permission to jump into your lap, or emit that uneven singsong meow as they run across the yard to rub up against your legs…of course, this is all heresay, you’d have to ask someone with real feral cat experience…

[2DogsFarm]

Welcome, Sucker…er, um I mean Cat Savior :uhoh:
As I have found out by trial & error - apparently ownerless cats may be just that, or they may be dumpees or freeloading opportunists.

That yowling is merely the feline version of “Good help, so hard to find” when you do not deliver yummy canned food, or even dry kibble, the moment cat sees you.

A friend with wide experience of rehabbing drop-off kittehs recently setup quite a pleasant & elaborate nest for the latest on her front porch since Drop-In does not get along with her other 3 barn cats or the dogs.
Some weeks - & many vet bills including spaying - later, she was approached by a neighbor who told her cat was her former housecat.
Neighbor was fine leaving things as they are & cat continues to try to get into friend’s house whenever she sees a possible opening.

I was road-tested by a little black stray for nearly a year.
Just as I was being allowed to sneak in some stealth petting as “she” ate (I guessed female since in that year there was no spraying or kittens) cat injured its back so badly I had to vist the emergency vet and have HIM put down.
Yup - turned out to be an intact male.
RIP Black Betty - sorry about that name…

Not even a month after losing Betty, a new boy showed up.
DEFINITE young male who so far is tolerated by my female barncat, now shows up at least once a day for food and has established his mancave space on top of the stacked hay bales inside my barn.
He is welcome to stay - vermin enough for two - and will lose his “cocoa puffs” as soon as I can get him into a carrier for a visit to my vet.
He is named Stash for a moustache-shaped marking and because, until he showed me the goods, I felt it was gender-neutral.

My hired barncat has survived for 8 years inside my unheated barn.
I got her a little fleece house and in that, surrounded by hay bales along with a heated water bowl, she does quite well, TYVM.
In the worst weather I slip one of those Hot Hands packets under her blanket.

We have coyotes, raccoons, skunk, redtail hawks & fox here so peril abounds, but so far, so good {knock wood!}

I have been a catowner for many years, but since moving to the farm and learning of the wonders of barncats (no litterboxes!) I have sworn that when my latest housecat is gone No.More.Indoor.Cats.EVER.

Good luck - have you named yours yet?

[The_Crone_of_Cottonmouth_Count]

[QUOTE=mvp;6609684]
Learn from the cat at his/her knee. You might have to stoop pretty low to do this. Don’t hurt yourself.[/QUOTE]

Ha. It is as I suspected. Ever since my saucy butt-cribbin’ mare chucked me off at a 12" crossrail (sending my ACL to that Great Left Knee in the Sky), my life’s young dream of becoming a pretty low stooper has been dashed. And it’s not like I’m starting from all that high up to begin with (morally, that is).

In an effort to accommodate requests for video of the feline wraith, I adjourned to its squat under the horse trailer with a camera. I got bupkis. Not only did it not yowl, it didn’t materialize at all. First time in a week I actually need it to show and it blows me off.

[2DogsFarm]

2 Things

1 - did you bring Turkey Morsels?
If not, what were you thinking?

2 - Mistake the First:
Cats are never where you want them to be when you want them there

[GraceLikeRain]

If cat sticks around give your local AC or wildlife group a call. Almost all of them are willing to let you borrow a humane trap for a day or two. You just put the yummy food in the cage and walk away. This usually goes way better than trying to scoop up an agile cat into a crate or hoping you can pick it up.

Realistically, some feral cats do not come around. I kept a feral cat for 5 months and she literally never stopped hissing and growling at me despite keeping her in a confined place and spending hours just sitting in the same room doing homework and reading. Conversely, my siamese mix of unknown origins was scooped up at 5 months and she’s a pretty awesome house cat.

Willingness to approach and recognizing you as a food source are good indications that at a minimum you might end up with a nice barn cat.

While I don’t think that it is a great idea to have a barn-cat in coyote territory, getting he/she/it fixed and providing it with food and shelter is a huge improvement over it’s projected fate. A lot of people around here lock their cats in a tack room with a litterbox overnight to keep them safe.

[danceronice]

Yowling is just that is has you trained. Yowl, get food.

They live just fine in unheated barns–once in a while Dad will light a kerosene space heater for our barn cats, to warm up the tack room if it’s really cold (hasn’t been necessary in a while, especially with the electric heater water bowl.)

Some become friendly–out of…something like ten or fifteen barn cats, there was only one who was COMPLETELY untamed, and she still got caught and spayed after having kittens who definitely weren’t unfriendly to people (I still have one as one of my indoor cats, the big fat fluffycat.)

[The_Crone_of_Cottonmouth_Count]

In response to the “what were you thinking not taking cat food with you to photograph the feral cat?”: I tried again with food. Success. Here is the cat in question, neck-deep in Turkey Morsels and keeping a wary stink-eye on me. I used the zoom. Twenty feet is the closest I could get to it.

[Guin]

“Wraith” is a most excellent name for black kitty.

[2tempe]

First point of understanding: cats do not appear when you want them to. EVER.
Second point of understanding: if/when you get the hav-a-heart trap, it is important to note that 1. You should prop in open so it WONT close for a couple days until said feline gets over the uncertainty of entering. 2. When you do have it set to “trap”, you may well get something else before the cat.

3rd point: IF/WHEN you catch the bugger, throw a towel over cage to calm it, and head to the nearest vet. They will poke it thru the cage so that it does not attempt to fly around the office, and do their deeds.

Now, a question: if you are not a cat sucker, why do you want to tame it???

If you really want it around, when it returns from its big event with validation of no major diseases, shut it in a feed room or tack room w/ a litter box and food for a couple weeks. That should convince him/her that this could be home. But…maybe not. Feed the turkey gunk same time every day, in same location and hopefully he will move in.

Add hawks to the killer of kitties - never saw it when I lived in Ohio, but here in Fla, it happens.

p.s. he looks like he’s in pretty darn good shape to me!