YES YES YES!!! 
PWynn, great advice. You are right. I don’t know if I can get out in the right words, concisely the training barn rules. I am not sure they even understand that yesterday in the freezing cold snow I stood in the barn and supervised while 3 horses were shod. They “paying” training board clients understand that I am doing this out of the good of my heart, and I can rely on them to “stand” there if I shuld have a conflict one day (maybe happens 1 or 2 times a year). It is quickly forgotten that I am out there rain,sleet, snow, hail, wind, whatever feeding and watering their horses everyday and doing the turnout. I have no complaints there. As soon as a situation arises where “she” feels she can have control or the upper hand “she” speaks up. ONe time she got out a sheet of paper and told me I was behind in giving her son lessons. (He gets 2 a week). I was like, no, he gets them when he needs them and when the weather allows it. (All summer no complaints when he got 4 or 5 sessions a week).
Conveniently they do not come to the barn on the non working days he has. Or, Mom sits here so he rides and goes home, and makes sure he doen’st lend a hand. My idea of a working student/wanna be trainer, is that they want to be involved in everything in the barn not just the riding. Geez, he isn’t even doing stalls. OK, now I am off track. She wasn’t going to buy the horse I found as of course at 3500 it failed the vet. I explained that would be fine, but give me 35000 dollars than to go find a competitive childrens hunter. I said you have to make concessions if he is to compete in Zone 2 (and he is 6ft 1) and get prizes. I gave them an issue of the Chronicle to see prices in the market, I also have numerous times asked them to call on other show barns to become familiar with policies and procedures. I think they are used to making all their own decisions, choosing their shows and divisions, and doing whatever they want. The kid understands fully what is going on, but he complained to another client one day that he could see I didn’t care for his MOm. (I didn’t think it was obvious) but I do stay away, as she never has anything nice to say. If they leave I have no issues with that. I understand people moving, and coming back etc. That is their choice. I guess what I really need is the advice of how you express to people how a show barn differs from a boarding barn. They leave me alone about what I feed etc, but the vet and farrier and shows and lessons and equipment issues are out of control. And, yes, we did have an argument about his too short boots also. And, yes, I have explained that showing to win at AHSA shows is not inexpensive, which was exactly why I was kind enough to provide a working student position for him, so they could spend their money on the equipment, horse, and show fees. UGHH
AND, now you will all think I am crazy for sure.
I neglected the fact to tell you that he refuses to sell his old horse, and still visits the first farm he was at on a regular basis. (Doesn’t bother me at all) except that if you can own 2 horses, you can deal with my program in NJ. I am one of the least expensive show barns around. I am expanding in the spring, and need to either get them on track or get them out.
Robbie, I could understand your point if Jane was having training/riding problems with the boy, but she isn’t. She is having trouble developing and maintaining a professional relationship with the boy’s mother.
You can’t run a professional show barn with everyone doing their own thing as far as vet care, blacksmithing, etc.
The mother changed agreements and seems to think her son should be the main focuse of Jane’s attention, to the detriment of other students. She seems to want the professional A show experience Jane offers without a professional relationship on her end.
Jane, is that it’s probably very hard for you to fit into one post what has been happening comprehensively!
Someone mentioned it in a joking fashion, but how might you feel if your client or his mother was actually linked to this site to read the thread? Sometimes it’s hard to initiate a constructive confrontation when folks are upset.
What about saying, “you know Mom and Client, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about our professional relationship and I sought some advice from other horsepeople on the Chronicle Board - you might be interested to see my perspective there, in writing, and devoid of emotion, and then read the responses.”
Of course, I’d edit some stuff out, maybe, if you chose that route!
Robby
I have a recently had a similar situation including the person being a 6’1" boy who had some natural talent but had a demading mom. After two years of tracking down cheap or free leases, calling neighboring backyardy but nice barns to see if they had a stall available (much cheaper), arranging for extra rides and giving free lessons and finally picking out a nice used saddle for a steal…all of these deals and preparations I made that took alot of work and effort and favors on my part NEVER were followed up on by this family even though they talked a good game.
You know what? They left this fall because the boy couldn’t commit to regular lessons due to his college search and I can tell you I am so relieved. I look back and think, God what a fool I’ve been. I, like you, am a very giving person. I stayed late to accomodate him, made mountains of long distance phone calls on his behalf, given him tons of my time and expertise at little or no cost and for what?
Your best paying customers are your best clients period because they APPRECIATE and VALUE your service and expertise. Tell the boy that the working student stuation just isn’t working out and that their choice is to become a regular paying customer or leave. If the boy really wants to become a trainer then he will hang around and become helpful and maybe learn something, on top of paying the regular rate. That way you owe him nothing more than your regular services and he owes you nothing. Sometimes it is hard to remember that everyone’s idea of doing their fair share is different. You may feel that he is not earning his keep and his mom may feel that you are not doing enough for her son. Get that part of the equation out of there. XXX is training board fee, YYY are the rules and policies (period).
Good luck.
You pay for the privilege of teaching someone and you think that’s a good deal. Girl that’s the product we all have to sell. If the students knew what they needed then they wouldn’t need us and they wouldn’t pay any of us.
And, how much did you charge for your expert opinion to re-model his appearance? Remember what I said? If you give it away for nothing then that’s exactly what it’s worth.
A student needs to be committed or not accept a job. Are you sure you are doing him a favor? If he takes another job on, will he think he can re-write the hours and work load to be more convenient? Shouls I also point out that although you are bartering that doesn’r prevent the requirement that there is a value to what he is receiving and therefore it is still taxable. Should I also point out that if he is injured he will expect compensation and you have the liability for any damages he may suffer whether or not he is paid in cash. The IRS does not look kindly and tends to consider the value of services rendered as taxable income.
Twister you are right. Very right.
