This morning I got a call that my dad has been placed on a ventilator and a picc line was inserted. I’m not sure if anyone has any idea on these things but I sure know I’m a mess. His right lung is full of fluid due to severe pneumonia.
He’s in KY and I’m in CA and I’m waiting for the call to fly home. Just to know he’s sedated and not in a position to fight is leaving me feeling very worried and fragile.
Any advice is appreciated. I’m not sure what to do.
I’m so sorry, I know how hard it is to be far away. I’m not sure if this was an expected complication, or if it was sudden, but either way, give yourself grace, and allow the guilt to slide over you and then past you. You do what make sense to you. If you feel you need to be there, go. Work etc will figure it out. If you feel like you can wait, then wait.
My husband very wisely told me when my Mom was dying - Don’t have regrets. You will not look back on your life and say ‘I wish I spent those few extra days at work while a family member was sick’, but you may look back at your life and wish you had spent a few more hours holding a hand or being there.’
I hope your dad makes a turn for the better 
Jingles for your dad. The ventilator is definitely concerning, but even though he is sedated his body is still fighting. The PICC line is just a more permanent type of IV.
If possible, be with him now. He may be able to hear you and feel your presence even if he’s not conscious.
Hugs to you. I’m sorry that you’re going through this
Hugs to you and prayers for your dad.
Thank you everyone. I got an overnight flight tonight and I will be in Kentucky tomorrow afternoon. I’d rather be there than not.
Sending you positive thoughts. Safe travels and best wishes to your Dad.
These are the hard days. Speaking from experience, drink your water, get your rest, and it’s OK to not know what to say. Hold his hand, touch matters more than words I think.
Safe travels and hugs to you. I hope for improvement in your dad’s condition.
It’s a hard time of life when these things happen. Just being there and talking to him will help you feel okay.
I wish you safe travels and peace. Glad you will be there in person and I sincerely hope your dad will be on the mend soon enough.
I had the same sitch:
Dad in SoCal, me in IN.
Fortunately, my brother lived with Dad & though their relationship had been rocky, he stepped up to the plate.
I was able to spend a long weekend with Dad, very close to the end.
Do you have family in KY?
Holding you & your Dad in my thoughts {HUGS}
Most of my family is in Kentucky so at least they’re around. But I’m suspecting he’s going to end up OK but I’ve almost made the decision that I will just move back to Kentucky Until the end.
While I love California because it is my home, I just can’t see myself not spending these last few how many years close by. And since I want to become an RVT, there is a lot more opportunities honestly back in Kentucky than there is here. The mountains will always be here, and I will always hold them, dear to my heart. But I know I will regret not spending the time with my dad while I can.
I think you’ve made a good decision. Sending you thoughts of strength, and hoping your father is with you for a good long while.
Honestly, I think I did too. I thought I was being really dramatic, but I’ve had more peace about it. And I have prepared everyone that chances are I will be moving home once I return to California. You only have one dad in this lifetime and I would rather be able to drive over and eat dinner with him every week then maybe see him once a year or just like now during situations like this.
Speaking from experience, I believe you are making the right choice. Time has no price.
I agree. And I think I’ve been crying just grieving the loss of my home here in CA because I just love it so much. But gosh, it could never replace the look on my dad‘s face when I walk through the door every time. I really appreciate everyone here because it really helped me make my decision to leave and has continue to make me feel comfortable about what I’ve done. Sometimes even though you’re making the right choice, it always feels good when people support it.
Glad you are going home. It’s the best place to be. Prayers for your dad to heal and get past this illness.
When you are there remember even in the coma before death he can hear you, so talk to him. Blessings on you both.
As an update, the doctors think he is going to make a full recovery. However, he is very agitated and his condition is being compounded by another life long issue that is causing things to take longer.
He is now HEAVILY sedated so we are hoping if his lung improves and he remains calm, we can pull the tube sooner rather than later.
I have fully decided to move back home despite his good prognosis as I believe that it’s time to put family first. It’s a bittersweet decision but one I think will be worth it in the end.
I am so happy for you and your family for the good news! Many jingles for his recovery.
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