Dangerous buddy sour issue!

[x-halt-salute]

This thread is like a grade school math class word problem.

If OP was 11 when the horse was purchased…
And if horse is now 19
And if horse was 17 at the time of purchase, and/or 17 as of two years ago (BTW, is anyone else amazed that OP can determine the exact age of an >15yo horse from teeth alone?)
And if OP can account for 4 or 5 years of the horse’s historical whereabouts
And if OP claims to be neither a kid nor a troll
Then how old is OP?

You may factor into your response that trolls may not age at the same rate as earnest advice-seeking equestrians.

OP, if you’re a real girl, what advice do you want? Surely you’ve had a look around this forum before you posted and realize that this is a place where descriptions of dangerous behavior by animals who could “kill you in a second” are more likely to be met with an Ice Cube lyric than a warm and fuzzy affirmation that what’s important is that you and your horse are “both one”. So if this is all earnest but the advice you’ve gotten so far is unsatisfactory, what are you looking for here?

[pAin_t_Misbehavin]

Buddy sour horses are dangerous. You were right to trust your initial instinct. I’m not saying Maverick is a bad horse - but I am saying you need to help him get over being buddy sour. Otherwise, as you said, he’ll get you and himself hurt.
You need help in real life, so I’m glad you’re going to talk with the owners or managers or whoever is there. You need someone you can trust to help you establish your place in Maverick’s world.
By that I don’t mean to say he doesn’t love you, and it’s obvious you love him very much. But you need to be able to direct Maverick even when he’s upset, in order to keep both of you safe.
That means that sometimes you have to act like the boss mare. I know that’s difficult. It didn’t come naturally to me either. I still struggle with it sometimes.
See if you can find a groundwork trainer in your area, and give her a chance. She is probably going to put you out of your comfort zone, because really, all good teachers do. But stick with it. If you’ll tell us your general area, maybe someone could suggest a teacher or two for you to try.
As for equipment - personally, I use a rope halter and long lead made of yacht rope Check out handcraftedjewels for good quality at a low price; don’t get the flimsy kind at the feed store that flop around like a dead snake! And I use a flag instead of a whip. Double Diamond does a nice one. With the flag, I don’t have to hit my horse, but I can use it to effectively back up my requests. The flag lets me give everything from subtle encouragement to a big loud sudden “you missed the cue!” correction without ever having to touch the horse.
Anyway - you’ve got to find a way to get this horse’s attention even when he’s distracted. In the short term, yes, move him away from Charlie.

[vulture]

@pAin't_Misbehavin'

Buddy sour horses are dangerous. You were right to trust your initial instinct. I’m not saying Maverick is a bad horse - but I am saying you need to help him get over being buddy sour. Otherwise, as you said, he’ll get you and himself hurt.
You need help in real life, so I’m glad you’re going to talk with the owners or managers or whoever is there. You need someone you can trust to help you establish your place in Maverick’s world.
By that I don’t mean to say he doesn’t love you, and it’s obvious you love him very much. But you need to be able to direct Maverick even when he’s upset, in order to keep both of you safe.
That means that sometimes you have to act like the boss mare. I know that’s difficult. It didn’t come naturally to me either. I still struggle with it sometimes.
See if you can find a groundwork trainer in your area, and give her a chance. She is probably going to put you out of your comfort zone, because really, all good teachers do. But stick with it. If you’ll tell us your general area, maybe someone could suggest a teacher or two for you to try.
As for equipment - personally, I use a rope halter and long lead made of yacht rope Check out handcraftedjewels for good quality at a low price; don’t get the flimsy kind at the feed store that flop around like a dead snake! And I use a flag instead of a whip. Double Diamond does a nice one. With the flag, I don’t have to hit my horse, but I can use it to effectively back up my requests. The flag lets me give everything from subtle encouragement to a big loud sudden “you missed the cue!” correction without ever having to touch the horse.
Anyway - you’ve got to find a way to get this horse’s attention even when he’s distracted. In the short term, yes, move him away from Charlie.

Thank you! This is the kind of help I was looking for! We don’t have a lot of trainers in my area but I’ll look around, thanks again!

[Red_Barn]

@x-halt-salute

. . . So if this is all earnest but the advice you’ve gotten so far is unsatisfactory, what are you looking for here?

I suspect that the OP is either:

a.) Having fun with the fine ladies of CotH, or
b.) Nine years old.

Either way, I agree that it’s a pretty swell and comical thread. :lol:

[ladyj79]

@Red Barn

I suspect that the OP is either:

a.) Having fun with the fine ladies of CotH, or
b.) Nine years old.

Either way, I agree that it’s a pretty swell and comical thread. :lol:

I think the screen name is telling :lol::lol:

[Red_Barn]

Ha! I didn’t eve notice that! :lol:

[vulture]

I just wanted to update on this thread. I honestly just freaked out but I really just needed to give him time. He isn’t so herd bound now. I have a really nice trainer and we’ve been working with him a lot, although he’s off this week because he got hurt in the field.

I think he was just really stressed and freaking out over nothing. I just needed to give him time to “move in” and get comfortable. I am going to be doing dressage with him, which I’ve never done before, that seems like a discipline we would do well in. He listens to me very well, but as I’ve said, I don’t like being his “boss,” I don’t see myself above others. I never push him past his limits as I ride for fun, not money or shows or anything fancy. I am doing dressage so I have something more specific to do than walking and trotting in circles.

I honestly did come here looking for advice and help, but most of you just found this funny. Not all horse owners are extremely experienced or have had horses their whole life, I’m still learning and I just wanted help.

Also, I really like vultures, they are incredible creatures, especially bearded vultures. I have a few nicknames but I chose that one, there really is no need to be rude about it.

edit;
I am not 14, the last owner was not caring at all and just wanted him gone, I think she estimated his age because I looked at his teeth and with some research, he seemed to be a different age than what the previous owner told me. I’ve had some other people look at him too and they said I was pretty much right, but they didn’t know his exact age.

[S1969]

@vulture

He listens to me very well, but as I’ve said, I don’t like being his “boss,” I don’t see myself above others. I never push him past his limits as I ride for fun, not money or shows or anything fancy.

I didn’t read this whole post, so just taking the first page and your last comment.

There really are only two options in riding - either YOU are the boss, or the HORSE is your boss. It’s not about “being above others” or not having fun, or not earning money or being fancy.

Being the boss doesn’t mean being harsh, unfair, or cruel. It means being clear in your requests, and expecting a specific response…and correcting/guiding the horse into the correct response if you do not get it. Horses don’t let us ride them because they love us, or even like being ridden. A well-trained horse understands the relationship, though, and works in partnership with their rider. But they are still responding to their “boss”.

You can be a rider, or a passenger. Most horses really don’t like having a “passenger” on board. Some really object to it, and then they are dangerous.

[MsM]

I think the OP is getting hung up over the term “boss”. Though I cringe to say it, perhaps she needs to think of it as a “parent”.

A “parent” loves their offspring and cares for them. But in any good parenting situation, ultimately the parent is in charge. S/He makes the big decisions. “Child” has some comfort in the idea that parent can handle scary things and that child does not need to make all decisions. And if there is a difference of opinion, the child should know that the parents have control. As long as the parent is not unfair and unfeeling, that dynamic works out well with only occasional testing.

OP, the second you require your horse to turn this way or whatever, you are being a “boss”. You simply cant negotiate everything.

[alibi_18]

And after 4 months of settling in, suddenly everything is perfect! YaY!

OP found a trainer and her horse is now her equal.

That’s so nice to hear!

Let’s hope it’s true.

[mswillie]

@vulture

I honestly did come here looking for advice and help, but most of you just found this funny. Not all horse owners are extremely experienced or have had horses their whole life, I’m still learning and I just wanted help.

You got plenty of good advice. You chose to ignore it. That’s on you.