I didn’t get the actual fall (which she landed on her feet anyways.) And yes I actually forbid her from watching it for a few weeks and she begged me daily to watch it. She actually seemed very proud because both times she rode out quite a few bucks very well.
And her Aunt is also a horse person. So we really tried to build her up about it and tell her how proud we were. Which was true I was truly impressed.
Sounds promising. Laughing is good medicine as is having fun. My daughter is very stoic as am I. I will admit that at times her explanation/description of an event to someone else that she and I shared surprises me. I guess, my point is just keep talking to her (more of a checking in to see where she’s at in her head/gut/heart with it all) without making it a big deal. My daughter (28) still rides of her own choosing and will text me when I’m out-of-town to see if she can ride. I have 3 horses, all of whom she’s ridden. Two are a better fit for her size-wise. Only one of the 3 has bucked her off but one of the others did properly dump her [former] boyfriend a few years ago. Lately even when we trail ride (almost always uneventful), she picks the one who has never dumped anyone despite being the shortest of the herd and the most athletic. I let her have her way because I don’t wish to thwart her riding interest and insisting that she ride one of the other two doesn’t gain me anything (I like riding all 3). I also know that at least with mine, fear is easily picked up and lack of confidence in the rider can be an open door to unwanted behavior which I also don’t want to encourage…Sounds like you’re doing everything to help her find her place in the horse world for however long that lasts.
I think what people missing is the trauma is more centered around that specific instructor. She lost trust.
Last night at the other barn, I was impressed… And the instructors have commented on that. Any trauma that is there is not manifesting much physically anyways. She seems at ease, at least walk trot. I’m sure we won’t attempt canter for a long time though.
One thing I liked about the new instructor, she pegged my daughter’s personality quickly. She said she seems like a perfectionist. And that we can come early to groom because she clearly likes to take her time. But the instructor said, she shouldn’t be rushed. It’s an important part of horse’s and she should be able to enjoy it. I love that and that does really gel with my daughter.
Same with riding. She asked my daughter lots of questions about what she wanted to do and how she felt. So I think this might be a great thing 
The most important thing is that they enjoy it
And yes we have a wicked sense of humor in our family. It’s good medicine!
You have to find the right instructor/student match. Just because the instructor is good for you doesn’t mean they will work for someone else. Kids are even more special, and need to have very kid-suitable mounts. Not all instructors have the patience or skills to deal with children (well).
It sounds like you’re on the right track with this new program.
She keeps telling me how excited she is for the next lesson 
it just shows how it’s the instructor that is making the difference! From crying about going to a lesson to “I can’t wait!”
Hi, I’m late to the party but here is my (always) advice for loss of confidence, especially at canter. (Again, lol!)
Find a vaulting program. From the old cavalry/military tradition: Dressage is training (for the horse) and Vaulting is training for the rider. It will develop an amazing seat and is super fun. Where are you located again?
We are near Boulder CO.
I know there is a place in Fort Collins but That’s a bit far for anything regular anyways. Could be doable for short-term.
Oh wow! I am also in Colorado … I can give you the scoop on EVERY vaulting establishment around, including Complete Equestrian in Ft Collins - it Google maps as a little over an hour drive time from downtown Boulder (so you can adjust for your actual location estimate) .
Anyway, there’s a program near Golden (Centennial State Vaulters) that maps as a 26 minute drive from downtown Boulder who has a beginner session every Sunday afternoon and I believe the first/trial lesson is free.
There are also 2 programs near Brighton … both map out at approximately 40 minutes of driving.
Let me know if you’d like me to facilitate giving it a try! So cool that you’re in CO!! PM me!
Update again: she’s still enjoying the lessons at the new program/barn. Not cantering but doing lots of other things.
She had a package still at the old jumping barn so I recently went to finish her package. Fine with me because I have a hoot with the instructor. But we were talking about my daughter (instructor asked how she was) and instructor told me that pony has bucked off many kids in her days. Seems so odd to use her for beginners…
Ime, it’s one of a few things:
What a colossally stupid thing to say. God forbid some kid gets a head injury. My plaintiff’s lawyer “recklessness” bell just went off: “So you knew this pony had a habit of bucking off beginners, yet you kept putting beginner children on it? And you never warned parents this pony was likely to buck their kid off?”
To be fair, she does not own the pony or any of the horses there. Just one instructor out if a few.
But I agree if it was a horse I think the attitude would be much different. So odd.
Yeah they used a strap I guess you would call it a bucking strap on the pony and I think that was supposed to prevent anything from happening. I never imagined that there was any buck in there!
I really wish I had known that before hand.
Anyways it’s such a weird thing because the program seems to be so successful for intermediate and advanced riders. But the idea is for the beginner program it sure strange.
That was my thought exactly.
I would run from that “trainer” fast af.
Hindsight…
Today she rode bareback, walk and trot and loved it. She did so fabulous. Such natural balance and a seat to envy. The best part was she had a big grin the whole time!
She’s also getting canter curious again. I’m not sure when that time will come exactly but she’s talking about wanting to take the steps to prepare for it again.
This instructor has been a really really good match for her. She really seems to understand how my daughter thinks. It’s been a delight watching them. I even manage to keep my mouth shut most of time 
She cantered today!! She was all excited, then got nervous, then cried but then did it and ended with a huge grin on her face. It was her idea- but the nerves are hard to deal with and stronger than she expected. But once in the canter she was great!
Funny; I’d just reading the thread about the riding camp where no kids cried. I thought it was funny while I thought of all the things little kids can cry about regarding horses and riding.
When I taught up/down lessons to both adults and kids, my rule was if you fell off in one of my lessons, I owed you either a beer (for the adults) or an ice cream cone (for the kids).
Sometimes I had to warn kids not to throw themselves off their horses.
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