Dear Abby, Teach Me to Be Polite

[HotFireQueen]

HotfireQueen is up in arms! There is a certain bossy junior (CBJ) at my barn who insists on giving its opinion when it is not asked for. This CBJ thinks it can ride any horse and loudly critiques both adults and other junior riders. Needless to say CBJ is not popular with any other barn members. CBJ wants to ride HotFire’s new horse because “I think I can ride it a little better than you.”

Hotfire tries very hard to avoid said junior but will be showing with it a few weeks from now, and needs advice on how to handle this delicate situation. Does one approach the trainer, the child, or the child’s mother? Trainer is a mild person and does not like confrontation.

CBJs mother gets very annoyed when anyone reprimands this child. Mom is always in attendance.

Thnk you.

[armandh]

if it is your horse no/
no thank you/
no chance/
noway in hell!
depending on the level of subtle needed.

owned by others
you will have to ask the owner
get on the phone quick and kill any chance of that hapening.

[trae]

Now that song is priceless (won’t be able to get it out of my head)…

I say, be patient! Revenge comes silently and ruthlessly because we all know that the louder and more frequently one shoots one’s mouth off, the more one tempts the gods. And the gods administer beat downs far greater, more public and more humiliating than we mortals could ever imagine.

In the meantime, smile knowingly and mysteriously at her - she’ll get hers; she just won’t know when or where.

[Sue_from_Auckland]

How about something along the lines of "Aren’t you lucky that YOU have such a good opinion of your riding (said in a dead-pan tone of voice with the “over the top of the glasses (even if not wearing them), down the nose, mother-in-law look”. Although I must admit that my instinctive (and much more likely) reaction would be a swift smack upside the ear!!

[Anne]

The horse show is below the Mason-Dixon; therefore the bless your heart response wins this time. If it fails to shut her the he!! up, resort to the many hilarious Yankee answers.

[Portia]

HYSterical! From Aunt Esther to Moesha. Sorry you had to experience the little twit, but this thread is a treat.

“I’m designed for sitting. That’s why my butt is covered in soft fur.” Dogbert

[Bored]

this thread is hilarious!

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Proud member and co-founder of the Children’s Jumper Clique.
Proud member (and founder ) of the Draw Reins Are Not A Torture Device Clique. If you care to join, be my guest. I’d love you to.

[HotFireQueen]

HotfireQueen is up in arms! There is a certain bossy junior (CBJ) at my barn who insists on giving its opinion when it is not asked for. This CBJ thinks it can ride any horse and loudly critiques both adults and other junior riders. Needless to say CBJ is not popular with any other barn members. CBJ wants to ride HotFire’s new horse because “I think I can ride it a little better than you.”

Hotfire tries very hard to avoid said junior but will be showing with it a few weeks from now, and needs advice on how to handle this delicate situation. Does one approach the trainer, the child, or the child’s mother? Trainer is a mild person and does not like confrontation.

CBJs mother gets very annoyed when anyone reprimands this child. Mom is always in attendance.

Thnk you.

[FirstCry]

Thanks Jolliemom (while wiping coffee off screen )

I would tell CBJ to mind her own business, grrrr. I hate those brats that think they know all. Robby’s idea is pretty good too, If you can’t dazzle them with brillance then baffle them with bullsh*t

“Why is it that a woman will ignore homicidal tendencies in a horse, but will be furious at a man for leaving a toilet seat up?”

[Tin]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lisamarie8:
Ask her if she’s thristy
and the politely serve her a steaming hot cup of shut the f*ck up

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

add a side order of ki$$ my A$$ and you have my response

~ Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once ~

[Flashy_Gray]

No hard feelings toward our BB brethren who have opted for the straight ahead approach (i.e. “hot cup o’BLANK off”) to this situation but there is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, as mean, biting, and contemptuous as:

“Well bless yore heaaaaaaarrrt!”

Delivered, of course, in the most sugar-drippin’ Southern accent ever (think South Carolina low-country here). It is guaranteed to slay the unfortunate receipient EVERYTIME!

[HotFireQueen]

You guys, these were wonderful responses - y’all made my day/weekend with these!

Oh and the latest on Certain Bossy Junior. After her triumph this weekend in the unrated division of a C rated horse show, she no doubt feels she is ready to conquer the Childrens Hunters at a certain A show. Of course, never mind the fact that she whined and jerked her poor horse around in the equitation class and then blamed it on the horse. She blames everything on the horse.

I told me trainer to keep her the hell away from me at the show this weekend. Trainer’s response, “she follows me around.”

Oy Veh!!

Anyway, I don’t mean to sound like I am disrespectful of juniors because our barn is full of junior riders and every single one except this brat is nice, helpful and alot of fun.

Even the other kids can’t stand this brat.

[Roxy_Redhead]

… I’d have to something like “You know, where I come from, Children should be Seen and Not Heard.”

“You know, when I was a kid, I was taught to respect Adults”

“You know, when I was a kid, if I ever made a comment like that to an Adult I would get a hand across the face”

I would also mention something to the kid’s mom, too - that you find this kid pretty annoying and would prefer that she left you alone.

I do, however, like the idea of screaming “wrong lead” at every opportunity …

[Linny]

Between Joliemom and Moesha I have officially “split a gut.”

Founder of the mighty Thoroughbred Clique!

Resident racing historian

[Therese]

Hi cinnabar!

I’m originally from Bethel Park, and rode in South Park (the real one for all you snickering! ) at Bonny Dell Acres for a number of years in the late 70’s-80s.

I never owned a horse, but did catch riding and rode a number of the Barn’s schoolies/sales horses. My fav was a little bay TB mare, show name Midnight Angel, registered as Peachtree Spring.

–Therese
****************************
“Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

-Douglas Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

[Geroni-mo-oh-oh]

To engage is to acknowledge—to get angry is to make the offender believe s/he is important, and probably give her/him exactly what s/he wants. Nothing works quite so well as to pretend the remark was never made and that the offender doesn’t exist! That REALLY pisses off the offender and helps avoid future contact (which is what you probably want, anyway…)

“Everything that doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.”
Nietzsche

[hitchinmygetalong]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by HotFireQueen:
CBJ wants to ride HotFire’s new horse because “I think I can ride it a little better than you.”
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Is this YOUR PERSONAL horse, or a barn horse to be ridden by you?

If it is your personal horse, I don’t think I would have a response to the above statement because I would be stunned into silence by the audacity of the remark.

Who to approach? Well, depends on the age/maturity level of the junior. Ultimately, my gut response is to go to the trainer, though. I’m a chicken with confrontations, but the trainer is the “manager” and when a trainer takes on students, they also take on the responsibility for the student interactions. After all, it is the trainer’s barn, isn’t it?

[Lisamarie8]

and then politely serve her a steaming hot cup of shut the f*ck up

Just a suggestion

– Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

[This message was edited by lisamarie8 on Jul. 29, 2002 at 02:03 PM.]

[suzy]

Of course, the ULTIMATE response delivered in a charming Southern accent would be:

“Bless your heart.”

Muhahahahahahaha.

P.S. “Bless your heart” basically translates to the exact opposite using my favorite F word.

[carribean]

Some wierd responses to make everyone stare at her like she’s a one eyed six-armed midget and make her feel really stupid::

When you two are alone, and shes making a remark quietly, (make sure!) and others are nearby, yell loudly, “No I will not make out with you!!!” And run away to your friends while they laugh and stare at her.

At the show, offer to “help” her with her course, and tell her the completely wrong one right before she goes into the arena to do her course.

When she walks into the tack room (again, make sure people are around), take a british accent and say, “Eww! What’s that bloody ruddy smell?”

Get everyone of your friends to yell, “Wrong lead!” at her at the same time, even if she’s on the right one. This would be especially funny at a show.

Spill coffee on her breeches right before she shows.

Whenever she passes you, move opposite from her across the aisle and stare at her like shes got boogers hanging out of her nose and warts on her forehead. Laugh loudly when she checks her appearence in a mirror.

Casually scratch your cheek with your middle finger raised whenever she makes you angry. Make sure she notices.

anna