And there’s a couple kids (who are my age, and they act sooo much younger than me) I’d like to smack upside the head once in a while, what with all their whining and such. 
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Proud member and co-founder of the Children’s Jumper Clique.
Proud member (and founder 
) of the Draw Reins Are Not A Torture Device Clique. If you care to join, be my guest. I’d love you to.
Pretend you’re somebody you’re not and assume their persona. Did you ever watch Sanford and Son? Remember Aunt Esther? Be her. Carry a great big Queen Mother purse, and the next time Miss Sass Bucket flaps her lips, whack her with the purse and say, “Shut up, fool!”
As a devotee of Judith Martin, may I suggest a slight alternative approach the next time the CBJ decides to make such a comment?
“Oh my goodness, no, I don’t think that will be necessary.”
If she persists in wanting to ride Dobbin, I would continue with “Thank you, but no. I’m enjoying dear Dobbin enormously.”
Much as I believe that a good whacking might improve this child’s posterior and general outlook on life, doing so at the barn makes the place less pleasant for others who might feel somewhat compelled to interrupt their riding or stall mucking to inquire if the little monster needs medical assistance or be forced to listen to further whining. This type tends to whine after a forthright fry-panning.
Moesha, you are hilarious! I just have a very funny mental image of all this after that song…
“For the dead and the living we must bear witness.”
well with a mare like Sophie, then, you should just throw the kid up on her… after finding a stopwatch that will count the microseconds before she hits the dirt 
I am so glad that I haven’t encountered people like that. Where do they get that the world is theirs and theirs alone? Good grief.
BC
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Lindsay & Chance
“Success is relative to how well you stay
on the horse.”
^^^^Proud member of the DCSC!^^^^
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<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Suzy, that is my FAVORITE! I come from a southern family and am well versed and trained in the way of our people MY problem is after being born in Little Rock, Arkansas we moved to Madison Wisconisin. Hence the constant internal struggle between http://lisamarie8.homestead.com/blessyourheart.html reply and http://chronofhorse.infopop.net/2/OpenTopic?a=tpc&s=691099205&f=1970907951&m=8003062826&r=4323092826#4323092826 
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Being born and raised a Yankee, I don’t have any such internal struggle, so I have no problem with the very direct response instead of the PC “Bless Your Heart.” But I did want to offer COTHBB readers an option. Um, and to avoid getting thrown off the board.
The Mason Dixon line is not so VERY far north of here, eh? It could be worth a tank of gas to see that purse swinging.
Maybe Joliemom and I could road trip???
Gracious, I’m guessing this kid is slow enough that you get to a chance to try several of these responses, over a period of weeks.
Or maybe the “thwack” will larn her…
Oh. Duh, well I am not very good with directions and geography and such!
“For the dead and the living we must bear witness.”
Bored* might I know these two girls??? Could they possibly ride at my barn???
~MP
Donut girl strikes again: ‘my bro’s bday is tomorrow and instead of cake we’re having DONUTS!!!’
Co Founder: Children’s Jumper Clique!!! Member of the GA clique
Just say NO. Or to be polite, No Thank you.
Try to ignore her. If that doesn’t work then apply the frying pan.
I’d go for the frostily polite, yet not, response. Like these:
Ride my horse? Why would I want YOU to do that? No thanks, dearie.
Now, child, didn’t anyone ever teach you that it’s quite rude to imply you are superior to anyone else? Especially when that’s not quite true now is it? I’ll forgive you this time since you didn’t know.
Oh, my, well, no, that wouldn’t be good for him, now would it?
I’m terribly sorry - did you think I’d invited you to ride him? I’m not sure how I gave you that impression but, no, thanks.
Oh, no thank you. If I feel he needs someone else riding him I’ll find someone I’m comfortable with.
OR…the very simple:
Pardon me? I must have mis-heard what you said, dear, I’m sure you didn’t intend to be so rude.
Okay, that song is the best!1 I can just picture this scraggly girl leaning off the side of the poor horse!!!
Behind every good woman lies a trail of men
Moesha and Lisa’s responses kick a$$! I agree with the person who said to throw the snot up on the b!tchy mare’s back…count the seconds until launch, then saunter over and say:
“Why are you sitting on the ground? I thought you said you could ride?” Mwahahahahaha!
I, personally, prefer the cold, level stare approach. When CBJ starts cocking off, I’d do my best impression of Greta Garbo…then casually ask, “Why will you not leave me alone?”
Floccia non fascio!
ROFLOL!!! She was a pretty nice rider on her well-trained, sensitive, hot TB mare.
Then she got on my 16 year old, 15.3+, 1,300 lb. Intermediate level eventer who thought “dressage” was just something one’s rider FORCED one to do before you got to do the fun stuff and haul A$$ cross-country.
Within 15 mins of struggling and trying to (a) get him on the bit (which I could do); (b) sit his trot (not easy if you couldnt’ get him on the bit); and © dealing with his passive resistance, she begged to get off and apologized to me, saying “He’s a lot more difficult to ride than he looks.” (So at least I made him look good - but she THOUGHT she could make him look better. Nyaah-nyaa-nyaa-NYAAAAAA-Nyah!) (Did I mention he was an App? Snicker, snicker)
My horse was broke to death and I knew she COULDN’T screw him up and might get a dose of humble pie. Wouldn’t work in every case, but it was very gratifying in this one.
Moesha, I love that song! You just made my day!
Mary
Don’t hate me cause you ain’t me!
Mercy! Maybe we need to form a Aunt Esther Purse Posse that admonishes ill behaved riders. I for one am willing to forego my fashionable wardrobe in favor of church lady dress, hat, and big-A purse.
Only those with a strong purse arm need apply, sucka.
yuperoo mp, these two girls do ride at your barn, and, well you’d like to give them a whack to, eh?
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
Proud member and co-founder of the Children’s Jumper Clique.
Proud member (and founder ) of the Draw Reins Are Not A Torture Device Clique. If you care to join, be my guest. I’d love you to.
“Until you have set the world on fire in the (insert division here) - shut the hell up!”
Obviously child has mom wrapped around finger, so mother is useless except as transportation to take child away from barn.
You, no doubt, are not the only one wishing to smack CBJ with either a purse, frying pan, or better yet a frying pan IN a purse! So get together and plan your strategy.
ALL of you should say, “As attractive as that offer is (really!) I’ve seen you ride, and well, no thanks.” when she wants to ride anybody else’s horse.
All of you should make “My goodness, you’re obnoxious.” (Said with the proper tone of dismay) a part of your daily vocabulary. When she realizes that EVERYBODY has caught on and she will no longer be tolerated, THEN one person can take her aside and tell her, “ya know, we’re pretty sure there’s a nice kid inside you somewhere. Why don’t you try letting her out some time?”
CBJ personalities can become the bad apple that ruins the barrel. You don’t realize it, but everybody (all the non-confrontationals) begins harboring little resentments that end up blowing up out of all proportion, usually at people/situations having nothing to do w/the CBJ.
~Kryswyn~
“Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo”
I have always been partial to these responses:
'You’re joking right?"
or simply:
“Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight…”
I hate obnoxious kids. I hate their parents more. HOnestly if that kid actually said that to me, my response would’ve been “You’re joking right? That is the most obnoxiously rude, egotistical thing anyone’s ever said to me…it’ll be a cold day in hell before you ever touch my horse’s back, JUST because you made that comment to me.”
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