Please let us know any updates!
From having been down your road because of some medical/life issues some info I feel everyone should remember.
Sometimes the medications you’re taking for other reasons can be causing the problem.
Psychiatrists can prescribe and be aware of possible side effects from other drugs, psychologists can only talk
Anti anxiety meds work immediately, Anti-depressants take time to build in your system for a full effect.
Not everyone reacts the same to the same drug.
Getting help does not mean you will need help or drugs forever.
If you take any medications, absolutely follow your doc to the T, no second guessing or self help.
I hope all goes well for everyone.
Not much of an update. Never got an e-mail reply so I guess it ended up in their junkbox or something and still haven’t called 
Lol I seem to be good at avoiding doing things forever. The med increase has me back to being good with life as it is but doing anything new and out of my comfort zone is really tough for me. Which I really need to address as I have to start job hunting before March.
My family tries to be supportive but I don’t think they know how to do it the right way. This seems to be one phonecall Mom wont do for me. She doesn’t seem to get that this phone issue isn’t me just being silly.
I keep meaning to write down word for word what I want to ask so that I don’t have to think. And tell my Dad i’m calling since he had offered to pay for if I end up between jobs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder
Is there a warm line in your area you could call to assist you in the appointment setting? Easter Seals?
Try not to just isolate more, it won’t make anything better…
[QUOTE=Leather hAlter123;6023627]
Not much of an update. Never got an e-mail reply so I guess it ended up in their junkbox or something and still haven’t called
Lol I seem to be good at avoiding doing things forever. The med increase has me back to being good with life as it is but doing anything new and out of my comfort zone is really tough for me. Which I really need to address as I have to start job hunting before March.
My family tries to be supportive but I don’t think they know how to do it the right way. This seems to be one phonecall Mom wont do for me. She doesn’t seem to get that this phone issue isn’t me just being silly.
I keep meaning to write down word for word what I want to ask so that I don’t have to think. And tell my Dad i’m calling since he had offered to pay for if I end up between jobs.[/QUOTE]
You need to find help now. There is no shame in admitting you have psychological problems.
Not only have I dealt with depression/anxiety, I’ve worked with people who were going through the same thing.
Medication can be a life saver. research is showing that depression can and often is, caused by a chemical inbalance.
Each day you put off getting help, is one more day you’re miserable. Stop making excuses and get help.
There are so many options, get off your butt and do something about it.
Hey girl, I can relate to very much of what you say.
I just wanted to share a tool that helped me when I felt totally stuck in the mud and couldn’t get anything that seemed important done. I felt paralyzed and it just increased my misery not to be able to lift a finger.
What proved the miracle that could make me get things DONE was a book called “Embrace the Warrior Within” by a former Navy SEAL Machovisz (spellling probably off).
He’s a bit macho and you have to get through several bragging recounts of his SEAL exploits BUT the methods he learned there, and shared in his book for focusing on what you want out of life, setting up steps to achieve it and then START MOVING are to me, priceless.
Within a week of reading this book I went from a uesless lump on a log to getting 3 of the most critical things on my to do list DONE. And using his method it seemed easy!
Anyway just wanted to share it - mind you should still pursue addressing the medication & therapy for your symptoms, just think about picking up the book as an added tool on your side. “stack your advantages”, that’s one of his techniques as well!
I consider the fight against Depression/Anxiety a full blown war, so you need a full blown, multi-faceted strategy to get it in control. Use every tool at your disposal, and be willing to drop/let go of whatever isn’t helping! That means you may just have to decide not to care very much about what your dad/mom thinks or says about this - this is a very personal battle and if what they are saying or acting like doesn’t help, try to just ignore them and seek out those people/activities/tools that DO help!
You need all your faculties at hand to fight this courageous battle, don’t waste any of them worrying about what critical people might think or say!
Hugs
So now that I’ve been on my full med increase for at least 4-5 weeks I think the boost is starting to take it’s full effect and feeling abit better. Even noticing a bit less anxiety when I have to be on the phone at work. Next couple of weeks are hectic with the holidays but I’m planning to call and get info and make an appointment with a therapist in the first couple weeks of the new year (and I now have a couple of friends holding me to it).
Thanks again, it’s nice to have somewhere to get some additional support as I’m not good at talking and relying on my friends and family with my issues.
Arcadien - That book sounds interesting. Will have to look into ordering it from Amazon (of course it’s not in stock at book stores near me lol).
I did get the Dr. David Burns “Feeling Good” book someone had previously suggested. Haven’t read much of it but what I have has been interesting.
Update us please, OP!
moonriverfarm - The bad… still haven’t contacted a therapist.
The good… I’m actually doing really well right now. Finally updated my resume (what a relief to have that done) and have been reassured by a few people that my skills are in big demand. And have a couple of good leads on some possible employment oppurtunities that are in a reasonable distance and oppurtunities to move up after a year. If i can find something before my dept moves it would be fantastic. No temporarily traveling to the new location or time unemployed. And no sacrificing my horsey time.
That was a big deal breaker for me when they told us about the move. There was no way I would get up to the barn during the week. Horsey plays a big part in my mental well being. I also have some bg goals for showing this summer and riding on weekends only really wouldn’t make that happen.
I’m glad to know you are still around and it sounds like you are putting things in order in your life! So whatever you are doing is working. If you can ever make it to a therapist, I think you will have broken every barrier to your happiness and self-love. Keep us posted!
Sending good luck vibes that you continue feeling better & can find a job that allows you your weekly horse time. I agree, I need to ride for my mental health too, and weekends alone don’t cut it!
I just started a new anti-d myself, Celexa, it’s an older one but first time I tried it, really helping - the old too familiar shadow is lifting! But I know I’ll have to keep an eye on it - like you I’ve had anti-d’s “poop” out.
Anyway hugs & good luck!
I’m glad you’re feeling better, and just want to urge you to call to make the appointment. You’ll likely make more progress now than when you feel weighed down. And then later, when you need more help, you won’t be casting into the unknown, you’ll be calling someone you already know and trust.
Sending good thoughts your way, and if you can this weekend, nuzzle your horse.
SMALL STEPS ONE DAY AT A TIME `` JINGLES & AO
SMALL STEPS ONE DAY AT A TIME
SO VERY GLAD TO HEAR OF YOUR PROGRESS … KEEP PUSHING ```
JINGLES & AO FOR YOU ````
HORSES HELP !!! :D:yes:
Still thinking of you OP.
Listen, therapists are expert at making you comfortable (or they should be). The process is new to you, so you would naturally feel apprehensive. But for the counselor they do this all day and whatever you say or however you feel is OKAY! Enjoy that a person is listening to you with no silly suggestions about how you should “get over it” Good for you!! 
OP,
I only just saw this thread but feel like you wrote me down on the page for some of the things you talk about. I originally started going to a therapist for Combat Stress Disorder. Which is like a mild form of PTSD. I had an emotional break down at work which I never do, I don’t even cry in public, not even for funerals. So I knew I needed help for that.
I got better, and then started a new job and a lot of life problems(my dad diagnosed with terminal cancer, broke my leg, had to euthanize my 4yr old bull terrier…ect) had me going right back to therapy.
In the past I had avoided things that were hard for me(making phone calls, asking people for help or favors, standing up for myself)I dealt with it, but didn’t “deal” with it as in it never got better. The new therapist got me doing CBT(really worked for me, and brought my anxiety down a notch)and she referred me for meds to see if it would help. Been on the meds for a month or so for the anxiety and all family stuff that is still going on. My dad hasn’t gotten better. Truly funny moment in my psychatrist’s office when she asked me which members of my family were on anxiety meds. Heh heh, all of them.
I still hate making phone calls, but its a little better, asking for things is still hard, standing up for myself, still hard. But the negative thoughts are easier to deflect, which makes me happier. My leg was healed enough in October to start riding again. My mare finally, FINALLY! Stopped being a cow about getting in the trailer. And we got to our first HT(placed 2nd!)
So you’re not alone S we’re not alone! There are lots of us! And it really can be a comfort to know that there are others dealing with the same things. After I got back from Afghanistan and went to therapy I met up with a friend who I had served with over there. After I admitted to him that I was going to therapy, he admitted that he too was seeing someone. We both had this huge exhalation as if just being together, and knowing that our problems were the same really helped to make the problems more manageable. S Like horses who are anxious alone, but in a herd we are brave! Keep us posted!
Thanks guys, this getting bumped up is rather timely actually. My office move is in a week! My anxiety level is really high at the moment and will probably stay that way until I find a new job. I think I’ve only slept 4-5 hours a night all week and will admit I was extremely close last night to caving into some old unhealthy coping methods I haven’t resorted to in years.
I have found a way to get there temporarily until I find a new job (carpool). But it’s still going to be a huge adjustment. It’s frustrating as some people don’t seem to get how stressful of a situation this is for me. Was told by one that I shouldn’t be stressed as I’m young and have no mortgage and no kids. Granted they were trying to be helpful but still. Just getting told to stop stressing doesn’t work.
The thought of therapy is much less daunting but now it’s less of a case of not wanting to go as I wont have any time. I don’t even know if I will get back in town in time for other appointments or how it’s going to affect my riding until it happens. As it is any Doc appointments or anything else I can’t do in the late evening will mean taking a full day off work.
I applied for a job a month ago that didn’t have a current position avail but were keeping my resume on file for spots coming up closer to March. I followed up with the HR person last thursday to check the status and it was still the same. They posted the ad for the position this week on there site. Trying to figure out at what point it’s ok to started panicing if I don’t hear from them lol. I’m hesitant to apply to other jobs as I really want to get into this company and don’t want to accept something I don’t really want if this one comes up.
Cameraine - Thank you for sharing your story. It is good to know I’m not alone.
