As with all things horses, It Depends.
I have one horse now that I am glad I own later in my life versus when I was younger. He is the type of horse I wished I owned as a young rider, but he is a horse that could be ruined in the wrong program or hands and I don’t think I was ready for him as a YR. He opened a lot of ‘thinking’ doors for me. He challenged every bit of knowledge I had about how to produce a riding horse, and encouraged me to open my toolbox and look for better options out there for him.
The funny thing is, he doesn’t do anything bad – but he is incredibly sensitive to the point I joke he is the world’s worst empath.
There is something to be said for watching a horse’s body language and seeing what they react to. Your ‘force-free’ boarder is at the total Coco-Loco deep end of that mindset – but if you dial her back about 75%, you hit the threshold in which most horses would blossom under a little more conversation, a little less confrontation or ‘you’re-gonna-do-it-no-matter-what’ handling.
Horses and people would be better served if more horse-people out there watched how horses react to their presence and objects they bring the horse. Next time you bring your saddle to your horse, watch his eye. Watch his feet and his body. Watch his mouth - does it change? How about his breathing rate? Strive to understand the dialogue your horse is giving you. A good horse-person can read these signals and shape how they handle the horse accordingly. Some horses don’t care how they are handled. Some are shut down or tuned out. And some need a little more compassionate handling to learn they can trust their people.
One of the quirks the horse I mentioned above has is that he is ear-shy. He has aural plaques that his prior owners tried to treat by a series of blistering. In the beginning any topical in your hand made him suspicious, and if you watched his breathing or listened to his heart rate you could see it was elevated. He knows what brushes and bridles go near his face, but if you have a new colored brush or new tool, he is immediately suspicious of it. He became unhandleable when a vet of mine tried to strong-arm him into a speculum. He is a horse that just does not do brusque handling.
I thought it was a lack of good ground manners, but it really wasn’t. This horse was just telling us he didn’t trust that what we were doing wouldn’t hurt him. I spent several months letting him set the boundaries, and listening to them. I’d approach with Corona ointment in my hand during grooming, where he groundties. He knew not to move his legs, but he’d try to turn his head away from me before I even got to his shoulder. So I’d stop and put the Corona away.
He picked up pretty quickly what was going on. Instead of the behavior worsening, it got better. I started being able to carry it around him without him caring. Then I’d pour the ointment on my hand and bring it to him. The first few times he said ‘no, I don’t trust it’ so I put it away. Then after the third or fourth time, he started to want to sniff it. Then he was fine with me putting it on his shoulder. Then he was fine with it on his neck, then he was fine with it on his face, and now he’s fine with it in his ears.
The really interesting thing about me adopting this approach is now I see him actively communicating with me in other ways too, and I can recognize it whereas before I was tuned out of it. He’s not so ‘shut off’ about what’s happening around him anymore. He has a specific look for when he wants to investigate something in my hand - like that new brush, or a tool when I’m working in the paddock.
That little bit of time I took to show him I was listening has completely transformed this horse, who now accepts the speculum readily, lets you put SWAT in his ears, knows a new tool or brush isn’t going to hurt him, and has become inquisitive rather than suspicious of human activity.
I look at instilling manners in a horse in two ways. One: this is a large animal. It can easily accidentally kill its handlers, and it needs to be taught to respect space and it needs to be a good citizen… BUT… this horse, who outweighs us ten to one, needs to have a reason to trust us. They put up with a lot of unpleasant things like clipping, trimming, bathing, trailering, and riding all out of the sheer generosity in their hearts… so it’s up to us as handlers to find that balance of goodwill and good manners, and give horses a reason to want to be good to us.
I am against any sort of violence, fear or abuse in training. I have seen myself the change in my own horses over the years as my training and understanding of horse behavior and psychology works and being patient, kind, and understanding with horses has a much better effect long term than any training done with force or fear. Positive reinforcement works and is scientifically proven as a training method, however positive reinforcement training doesn’t just mean shoving treats in your horses mouths.