i read this entire thread and i must say that this is absolutely classic!
LHNH - you need a new board.
Spot - i think you’re my idol
and Willem - settle this debate already before pony porn makes it’s debut on COTH…
dear lord! hhahahaha 
-Liz
“The sight of that horse did something to me I’ve never quite been able to explain. He was more than tremendous strength and speed and beauty of motion. He set me dreaming” - Walt Morey
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by eclipse:
My mare would fit right in with all your sexed crazed geldings. She’s a total fluzy. Always squealing too new horses to advertise the fact that there’s a fertile mare on the property. And, loves turning her butt to her fav gelding, & ummm spreading 'em. I should of named her “Flirty Girty”. Can you just imagine the looks as I enter into the show ring, with my pretty little mare “And the next entry in the ring is __ riding Flirty Girty” and then having her start to squeal???<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
heh, I’ve told this story before but the lovely TB mare I had when I was in high school was a total slut. I was riding her around the indoor once when a kid came in for a lesson on an ancient saddlebred-arab-qh cross gelding on his last leg (well not really, he was a good guy, just not pretty). Victoria just about lost her mind. She wanted him BADDDDD…
Promptly spread her legs, peed everywhere, and just started whinnying her head off. She was desperate for some action- no amount opf smacking, kicking, and clucking could budge her. She sat there a good five minutes with her legs spread, squealing her fool head off in front of this innocent little child. The gelding looked panic stricken… finally I gave up, got off, and called it a day…
It was more mortifying than the gelding I had before that who thumped when I curried his butt.
~Come the Rapture, can I have your car???~
Actually, yes! I’ve seen one rock his hips back and forth, hitting himself in the stomach! He was a gelding, but a very studish one.
Loose Horse no halter - I bet you’re a real blast at parties 
— I may be love’s b*tch, but at least I’m man enough to admit it.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lisamarie8:
What, was this horse related to Ron Jeremy??? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
No, he actually manages to reach around, much like one of those horses who can scratch the inside of the upper part of their hind leg with their nose. We keep joking that he should have his own web site.
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Liberty:
I have to add that my gelding has sported a woody on more than one occasion. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
We have a gelding who often gets quite excited when the mares are in heat. Unfortunatley for the poor fella, it is more like a small splinter than a woodie. He probably wouldn’t be physically capable of breeding a mare…It’s pretty pathetic looking but thankfully he has no idea we are laughing at him. You’d have to see it to believe it. Hmm, maybe I’ll post a picture… 
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by slc:
that’s pretty pitiful.
they just do it when things are going on around them. it has nothing to do with ‘‘liking her’’. it’s just behavior and just normal.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
it was a joke slc.
Elippses Users Clique…Co-Founder Occularly Challenged Equine Support Group, Pony Club (Graduate) Clique
“And how’s that working for ya?” Dr. Phil
OMG, I just read through this entire post and I am DYING!!! Willem…“virginia”…I am ROFLMAO right now!!!
~Sarah~
~Disgruntled College Students Clique~Georgia Clique~Junior Clique (Can I please still be a member?? )~ Buckle Bunnies
lisamarie 8…hahahaha! loff the ron jeremy comment, i was sorta thinking that myself…
phone sneakers…so if i give my horse an apple he might mistake it for a pick up line and start going nuts? hahaha brings a whole new light to giving your horse a treat!
Spot, your sex ed class is soo funny! except is your daughter aware that boys dont just manually flot it up and down against their stompachs? hahaha that vision makes me laugh!
The Ridge, thats sooo gross …but funny somehow at the same time…sounds like a “funny sport story” you could have sent in to YM or Seventeen when you were younger…
“I hope you will grow up to be gentle and good, and never learn bad ways, do your work with good will, lift your feet up well when you trot, and never bite or kick even in play.”
-Duchess, Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
okay okay Sketcher - post the “splinter” picture already
Remember - Ive been caught out by LHNH - I just LOVE to watch !
But what if I threaten to start circulating his “splinter” picture around the internet to other like minded individuals ??? Surely there must be other individuals like me out there that would LOVE love to see him in all his glory!
Would you pay hush money so that others didnt snicker at him?
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> You haff to ASK before you stick der arm in der virginia. Everyboddie they know wot this it be der place for der spank monkey.
I want to haff foto contest. Mebbe I win!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oh Willem - I am in tears … OMG - I think that is the funniest post I have EVER read!
By careful though, or LHNH will start hurling insults at you too!
“Spot”
ROTFLMAO!!!
Spot:
Phwuwu
I am dying from that!! HAHAHAHA
Lisa
Aiden’s web page… DOING GREAT!!
Don’t take your organs to Heaven; Heaven knows we need them here.
you know, my boys provided SexEd 101 for my daughter several years ago.
She came home one day in tears, and I asked what was wrong (she would have been around 9 or 10 years old at the time) and she said a boy on the bus asked her if she had started masturbating yet, and asked me what masturbating meant (and at that point, I could have bloody well have killed the stupid boy for putting me in the position of having to explain this to my daughter!)
I’m thinking “SH&!” and then I remembered.
I said - “Do you remember what Spotty and Yukon do when they’re standing outside in the sun, snoozing, and their Phwuwu comes down and they start lifting it up and down against their stomachs?” and she looks at me and says “Yes”, and I said - “well boys and male animals do that and that is what masturbating is - it gives them pleasure” and she took one look at me and burst out laughing so thank God for the boys at that moment - they saved me from having to use human analogies to describe what it was!
But yes - I believe the figure for stallions is much higher than 6 times a day - Sato doesnt seem to do it a whole lot more than 6 or so times each day, but Spotty and Yukon were definately WAY up there!
“Spot”
Hear hear, windward.
[B]The adventure has begun…[/B]
KT
<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by goldentoes:
I wonder if there’s a market for mare pacifiers…
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Ok, coming to this thread a little late, but…
EIIW EIIW EIIW EIIW EIIW EIIW EIIW!!!
[I]One of the lessons of history is that Nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
My stomach is sore from laughter. This thread must be saved now because I have a feeling that it will be, ahem, altered soon.
Loose Horse–
You callin’ my donkey girls unclean?? Actually, they’re remarkably clean little critters, wish my horses would follow their habits. And, yes, I’ve checked between their teats, that is not why they are fascinated with the wheelbarrow, etc. Besides, if it were parasites or crud in their privates, how do you explain the submissive signs in their facial expressions??? Huh???
(are we really still having this discussion??)
He’s not really a pony, and I’m really not “pony aged” either.
My old Arab stallion would Masterbate all on his own, out in his stall with no one around… I could see him from the kitchen window (our barn was pretty close to the house) and I could see “thump thump thump thump…spooooooooooooooooooge” and there would be no one there to stimulate his “thingy” but him! He was also the only horse in the barn!
GO MARINES!!! OORAH!!!
Apparently, “doing it” is quite tiring for stallions. I know one who loses a HUGE amount of weight during breeding season. All that aerobic exercise, you know. 
Have I mentioned that we have 5 Standardbred stallions boarded where I ride, all of them in the same barn. Amazingly, they don’t seem to mind one another. But ANYTHING that comes in the door…human, horse, or otherwise, regardless of gender…gets “catcalls” from one particularly amorous stud…and then all the rest join in. 
It’s like one big bachelor party.
OK, last post, honest. Passing on a joke a vet buddy e-mailed. Now this I found truly funny.
A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he’s sending a Friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks “How will I recognize
him?”
That’s easy, he’s a Midget with a speech impediment." So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a Male or
female horse. “A female horth.” So he shows him a prized filly. “Nith lookin
horth. Can I thee her eyeth?” So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse’s eyes the Once over. “Nith eyeth, can I thee her
earzth”? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears. “Nith earzth, can I see her mouf?” The rancher is
gettin’ pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks Him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth. “Nice mouf, can I see her twat”? Totally mad as fire at this point, the rancher grabs him under his Arms and rams the
midget’s head as far as he can up the horse’s twat, pulls him out and slams him on the ground. The midget gets up, sputtering and
coughing.
“Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?”
“Loose horse on the main track”
that’s pretty pitiful.
they just do it when things are going on around them. it has nothing to do with ‘‘liking her’’. it’s just behavior and just normal.
By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You may also receive promotional emails from The Chronicle of the Horse. You can opt out at any time.
For Customers
Company
Terms of Use
