Do horses masturbate?

[caffeinated]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Zephyr’sMom:
I must be the only one in the world whose gelding does not do this. But I can’t say I’m sorry!
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Nah, he’s just too polite to do it around you! LOL

My yearling was starting to get into it before I got him gelded. It’s really hard to have a straight faced conversation with someone when you hear that “thump, thump” from under your horse’s belly… the funniest thing though is the look they have on their faces… When Yoda “discovered” “it” he looked like he’d just won the triple crown. He was SO proud of himself!

hee

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~Come the Rapture, can I have your car???~

[RolexH]

HAHAHA Still laughing from this thread.

Yes, there was this gelding at my barn when I was a kid. I was really young, and when told what he was doing I nearly fell out! The used to tie a brush to his belly so he would stop. (it would smack that and ouch!) Because he did it at horse shows an ejacualted!!!

Imagine the ad for sale on that one?

16.2 Chestnut TB. Good jumper, great mover, 1 vice: spooges in the line up.

YUCK!!!

Lisa
Aiden’s web page… DOING GREAT!!

Don’t take your organs to Heaven; Heaven knows we need them here.

[Spot]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> You’d have to see it to believe it. Hmm, maybe I’ll post a picture… <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh PLEASE do Sketcher,

I mean - this whole thread hasnt sunk to low enough depths already - what is a picture of your horse’s “splinter” going to hurt?!

“Spot”

[phone_sneakers]

Horses only masturbate if their owners play with them first. I’ve heard some people even use things like toys or fruit to get their horse excited.

[DJ1]

Okay, to me this is over the top. I have a 5 year old Hanno mare and a 13year gelding TB. Last heat cycle they figured the facts of life out and I witnessed at least 8 copulations one evening. When I took her to the vet to flush her uterus with antibiotics, he proposed that it was possible that the gelding was a cryptorchid and that it was unlikely, but possible that she would become pregnant.
I was astounded, and am counting days until the next heat cycle!

[libgrrl]

I have a mare that enjoys having her udder cleaned far too much…

[caffeinated]

I wonder if there’s a market for mare pacifiers…

Someone pull me out of the gutter before I drown. Please.

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~Come the Rapture, can I have your car???~

[HFSH]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Loose Horse - No Halter:
HFSH: Clean under her tail and between her teets. She has an itch. THAT’S why mares rub. Sorry, but to all who posted your horney-horsey stories you should know this, especially if you’re reproducing them. A willing mare spreds her legs, lifts her tail (like when she pees), often “squirts/winks”,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah, well, I couldn’t find the cruddies in her boobies. I think her kid helps rid her of those. She’s a raging slut when she’s in heat. Today, after ovulation, no worries, no itches, nothing. Hope she’s preggo!

In Memory of Remarkable

[All_points]

This thread is soooo funny!!

The only I can share is a good one. My very proper grandmother has a gelding, that she knows is has one up there. When I was in sixth grade, (and I will never forget this) I got dropped off the bus at the end of our farm lane. Our front pasture is right along the lane. The bus pulls up one spring afternoon to drop me off, and I am only the second stop, so the bus is full of my classmates. There in the front pasture is Grandmom’s gelding going at it with my mare, in front of the whole bus First everyone was quiet, then the yelling out the bus windows started. I had to play sick for a week, because of that horse. AS I finally walked up the lane, I see my mortifed Grandmother peering out from the barn, she had been trying to catch him for 20 mins, before the bus arrived, but he was otherwise engaged. I thanked her for the show he put on, and the humlitation I would endure. But I think she was more stunned and humilated than me. Of course, we were never to discuss this again. Its now referred to as the incident.

That gelding is now 31, still lives with me, and every spring he is on some mare or gelding . He will never be to old to give it a go.

[caffeinated]

I have no experience breeding, but LHNH, could you explain to me how to do a uterine lavage through the rectum?

I’m just confused about how that would work, so didn’t see anything strange about Spot’s post… I can ask a vet later, but figured you might be able to explain (though it’d be nice if you refrained from calling people pervs)

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“It takes a whole lot of testosterone to wear a beret and not look fruity”

[caffeinated]

Well you’re no fun.

Even if it is delusion, I’m quite enjoying this exercise in horsey horniness.

Additionally, on a more serious note, one of the mares I mentioned earlier was definitely kept QUITE clean yet still responded quite obviously to any activity around her butt with a gleeful lifting of tail and a hopeful look. Didn’t look like an “itchy” response to me, and wasn’t just when she was in heat…

I don’t think it’s that off the wall to think that horses (or any other animal) might actually enjoy sex or sexual contact for reasons other than reproduction.

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~Come the Rapture, can I have your car???~

[RolexH]

Willem:
FINALLY! we can get a real opinion here. Are you scratching your tummy, or “enjoying” yourself?

Sorry to get personel Willem. But we must settle this debate.

Lisa
Aiden’s page… DOING GREAT!!

Recycle yourself; Be an organ donor

[Ain_tNoFoolinAround]

Coming into this veeery late-Have to admit, I was horrified and fascinated, doing the whole reading with one hand over the eyes thing, and hoping to god nobody walked in and saw what I was reading!!!

Anyhow, my friend used to work with Standardbreds at the track. One day when we came in to visit some of the horses she was working with, there’s her young colt, standing with his butt to the door, rhytmically kicking himself (lightly) We look at one another, quite puzzled, as we aren’t sure what he’s doing. Into the stall we go, and both slowly back out, as we realise, that he’s spankin the monster in his stall. They tried everything to get him to stop, even tied a wire BBQ brush to his belly, but he managed to get around it. From that day on, his nickname at the barn was Tha Masta Bata

Unofficial Founder of the Tall People Clique! Member of the Klutz Klique, Member of the Thread Killer’s Clique!

“Does anybody know how the story really goes or do we all just hum along?”
-Stone Temple Pilots

[Kerby]

I work at a farm where we have lots of schoolies, and thus we have summer camp (teh dreaded summercamp of under 13 yr olds) When the teacher (age 17yrs old, just graduated from high school) said ‘I’ll now deminstrate on how to bath a horse’, and proceeds to take them to the field to get her horse. Well her mare is out there, legs spread, tail to one side, gelding on her back… now you can image what 10 little kids said when they saw this.

We also have a stallion and his brother ‘gelding formally known as stallion’ who lay in their stalls sleeping and nickering to themselves in most excitable way… I wonder what they’re dreaming of.

And our stallion is learning the show ring is not the place to show of his manliness, but he’s obviously a slow learner in this department. He also likes to drop it just about the time you have to put on stable bandages after a compitition, face to face with his man parts… yikes! to close for comfort!

Anyways this post got me laughing… it is too funny!!

“You can tell a gelding, ask a mare, but you must discuss it with a stallion.”

[Loose_Horse_No_Halte]

See Spot… Anyone who falsely claims (or maybe just doesn’t recognise what his/her mare is actually doing, hmmm let’s see, squatting to avoid DISCOMFORT) to have a mare “hump” his arm has already brought things to “horrifically low depths”. Sheep are the least of the problem. Donkeys may have other habits altogether, I’m only seriously addressing horses here.
Someone asked a normal question and I gave fairly informed answers. You all go on w/ your facination…it’s really only remotely humorous the first time around. This thread has lost it’s reason to be, so I’m outta here.
PS., The vaginal canal is tissue thin, you shouldn’t be poking around in there.

“Loose horse on the main track”

[Loose_Horse_No_Halte]

Yes Spot, I’ve crawled out from under a rock just for the enjoyment of reading your “mare humping my arm” story. Which you must have thought entertaining lest you wouldn’t have made such a contribution.
Wow, you actually CAN perform a reproductive procedure and everything! I’m surprised, as you didn’t sound like a person w/ a talent. In fact, I didn’t even recognise you as a smarty horsey person! Imagine that, w/ me not having been on COTH long enough to have been told so.

“Loose horse on the main track”

[monstrpony]

I asked a friend to feed my horses for a couple of days when I was out of town during the winter. She went to blanket my gelding, reached under his belly to grab the surcingle, and grabbed something else in stead. She was extremely flattered that he found her so attractive!

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He’s not really a pony, and I’m really not “pony aged” either.

[fivebyfive]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Cruising:
All I’ve seen Cruz do is, ehm, when he lets it all hang loose when I leave him in the crossties too long…he knows that doing that will convince me to put him up quickly! lol.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The guy I partboard does that too. lol Little bugger knows how to make me hurry up. Thankfully I have yet to see a horse “spank the monkey” and hopefully, God willing, it will stay that way.

MULDER: I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked into a sleeping bag with somebody else who’s already naked.

SCULLY: Well, maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you’ll get lucky.

[Black_Market_Radio]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Loose Horse - No Halter:
I’m still on Training Level but naughty horses are about to alter that status! Oh what some people will do to climb the ladder!!
Please, no pics!! What will the developers at Wall Mart think!!

“Loose horse on the main track”<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, a lot of us now have digital cameras… Walmart need not be involved…

Here are the Devilpups!!
http://community.webshots.com/user/angelgregory87

GO MARINES!!! OORAH!!!

[Kinsella]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RolexH:
Imagine the ad for sale on that one?

16.2 Chestnut TB. Good jumper, great mover, 1 vice: spooges in the line up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

OMG - I just about choked… Lisa - that is absolutely hysterical!!

Our stallions must be good boys - we rarely see them doing any choking

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…such are the horses on which gods and heros ride.

Stoneybrooke Farm