Encouraging kids to ride - a how to request

[OverandOnward]

That – would explain a lot. IMO!

How many horse people have we heard say “horses make more sense than people” or words to that effect? It seems almost a prerequisite for horsey-ness. Could it be that many horse people find that humans social cues are easy to miss?

Another thing that JUST IMO from observation is that in the jumping disciplines there is much more ADD than the general population, or whatever is the latest favorite diagnosis for a mind that rapidly switches to a new stimulus while abandoning the last thought. Comes across as ‘distractability’, but in some ways is a behavior for people who have intense focus on what is happening right now over any larger context. Mentally switches gears rapidly to follow the flow of events.

I will really go out on a limb and say that upper-level eventers frequently seem to display this. I have not met all of them by any means. Just noticed it in the ones I’ve met who are keen. One can get their attention for a max of about 20 seconds. After that they are lost to something else that is just now happening, and don’t even remember that someone was talking to them.

Their horses seem have the same rapid shift of focus! I think that the whole point of eventing is that, on course, the rider quickly switches gears to fix any situation, and ride on. That’s what eventing is. A little horse & rider ADD may help!

[risuenaVT]

Do you have any sources on that? I ask because my BFF is convinced that I am at least mildly neurodivergent, she suspects ADHD, and she does have enough personal and professional knowledge in the field that I would not be surprised if she’s right. But also until recently, I have been functional enough.

But if you have any sources about autistic girls hyperfocusing on horses, I will 100% send that to her and she will be delighted to read it, even though ADHD and autism are very different (though sometimes occur together).

And honestly, again, I wouldn’t be surprised.

[Scribbler]

With the expansion of “neuroatypical” wider and wider I sometimes wonder what “typical” or normal has left.

Being able to focus, being unable to focus, having grand overwhelming interests, absorbing information, getting lost in creativity and imagination, day dreaming? What’s a normal person, someone that doesn’t get into things deeply and spends all their time micromanaging social life? Or is that social anxiety? Sounds really boring.

[Pico_Banana]

@Scribbler

With the expansion of “neuroatypical” wider and wider I sometimes wonder what “typical” or normal has left.

I have been thinking the same . . . also, I find as I’ve gotten older and have spent way more time online than I did as a kid/young adult because it just wasn’t such a thing then, I find my attention span is way less these days than it used to be. I can barely watch TV without also scrolling on my ipad. How much does “nurture” play into this as opposed to “nature?”

[OverandOnward]

It is interesting how much fundamental life-skill toys and games kids did, pre-internet/mobile-device, just to fill time.

I see a major lack of manual dexterity in today’s young people – cannot buckle a buckle, or manage the clip on a halter or gate chain, or manage string. “Hold this, like this” is something they struggle with. No awareness of where all of their fingers are and what all of their fingers are doing.

Pre-internet/device, many children’s toys were fiddly. Dolls to dress, things to assemble, weaving potholders, matching this peg to that hole, etc. The experience of touch. Not that kids, especially younger ones, don’t have some of that today. But it isn’t full immersion in touch experience for many childhood years, they way it was for previous generations.

The lack is making them much less ready for horse life, when they start lessons. But, on the other hand, those are valuable experiences that horses are bringing into their lives.

[FjordBCRF]

@Scribbler

With the expansion of “neuroatypical” wider and wider I sometimes wonder what “typical” or normal has left.

Being able to focus, being unable to focus, having grand overwhelming interests, absorbing information, getting lost in creativity and imagination, day dreaming? What’s a normal person, someone that doesn’t get into things deeply and spends all their time micromanaging social life? Or is that social anxiety? Sounds really boring.

I often wonder this myself. I am positive that my ex husband was ADHD, guy I dated before him was ADHD as well. DH seems far more NT to me than other people I have spent years of my life with. The biggest difference that I notice between him and my NDness, is that he seems very steady. He is able to take things in stride.

For me, I feel like my brain is constantly fighting itself with the AuDHD, my thoughts are scattered and trying to do the simplest stuff like pick meals, make a grocery list, THEN go shop for it all AND THEN cook…feels like a heroic effort more often than not. Pretty much everything outside of the barn will get the back burner if is doesn’t NEED to be done. It’s like it’s a mental block or something. I have openly never wanted kids. Learning my chronic and autoimmune issues make me super high risk; I think my spidey sense was well ahead of the game. But I cannot fathom how people have a kid or multiple kids. I would be burnt out immediately never to recover again.

Our brains are wired differently, period. It was obvious to my nurse mom in the 80’s I was on the spectrum by the time I was just a couple years old. I don’t think it’s that rare or unique, and it presents differently in every person. I don’t know if it was mentioned upthread, but there is a saying that, “if you’ve met one autistic person, you have met one autistic person”. Plopping kids in front of screens isn’t causing autism; screen time is a whole different can of worms whether your’e ND OR NT.

@OverandOnward - interesting observation with the dexterity kids have today. I have noticed this at the therapy barn I volunteer at too.

[Scribbler]

That’s really interesting about motor skills. I’d say for my generation (kids in the 1960s) there was a bit of stratification in what you learned, but each segment had something.

Girls could be more sedentary, but generally there was a trade off so that the more their parents kept them a bit housebound, the more the girls learned fine motor skills connected to traditional home making, often by playing with dolls and fiddly miniature stuff. Sewing and cooking. There’s an aspect of traditional home making that actually requires decisiveness, planning, and being a bit of a bossy boots with babies and toddlers (and your dolls and toys and pets).

Boys got more exposure to team sports and mechanical or carpentry play, which also requires motor skills. And if you were a weird introvert kid you might be drawing pictures, writing make believe stories, painting models, building models, collecting stamps etc.

Of course there was much pearl clutching generally about the amount of TV kids had access to.

[pony_grandma]

whittle with a pocket knife… oh horrors. We learned to tie knots. Bait hooks. Clip playing cards on our bike spokes. Lace up our shoes! They don’t do that now. Tavern puzzles! Everyone had some. (Weaving pot holders… )