How do I make the decision to end my horses life. My warm blood horse(Oscar) has had a bone spavin in his hock since the age of 5, he also started with Navicular syndrome at the age off about 8, at which point he was on Bute & new shoes. Oscars now 23yrs & has managed with the help off pain relief to keep a happy life hacking up until last summer. Last year’s heat wave proved to be to much & so I made the decision to retire him from riding. Oscar has continued to be on pain relief of Danilon. He’s on maximum dose but he’s very stiff on his back legs. Last week, I had to make the decision to have him out 24/7 on the field, he’s not particularly happy about this as he’s always loved his stable - albeit he digs his bed every night & he now got bed sores on his left side. He’s always managed to get up & he’s eating fine but he’s very lame though he’s on maximum pain relief. Oscar still seams ok in himself but it’s heartbreaking watching him hobbling about. Will I see the signs in his personality when he’s had enough?
Hes a much loved part of the family… thoughts & suggestions welcome. Thanks
Go spend time with him, ‘listen to him’ you’ll know.
sorry you are going through this, I’m firmly in the 'better a day to soon, than an hour too late camp" The only decision I regret is the one I couldn’t make for a beloved old dog…I should of let him go, I didn’t it was wrong.
You do have to be careful waiting for a “sign” from your horse; they can be stoic beyond words. It’s hard to balance a day too soon vs. an hour too late.
I think in hindsight, feeling a little too late with our ailing cat, I’d rather feel guilty about making the call too soon when they are still having more good days, than devastated for being too late. Especially when it’s the case of an irreversible issue that will only ever get more uncomfortable with time.
If he is in constant pain despite the maximum pain relief that in itself is something to think about. Is he acting different because of pain? Like teeth grinding, maybe not eating normally, depression, extreme difficulty getting up or down?
Some people don’t make the decision to euthanize until the horse is having major difficulties and some euthanize when these things first start. It all depends on what you as his caretaker can/ care to deal with.
You have given him a good life. For me personally I would rather end it on a good note and remember my guys able to eat, move and live out as they should. I don’t want my last memories of them to be down in the pasture if I can help it.
Some horses are very stoic and give no evidence of how much pain they are in. All you can do is take it day by day and do what you think is best for him. It is never an easy decision.
As others have said, spend some quiet time with him.
It’s never an easy decision, but as owners this is our responsibility, to help our beloved friends when they can’t.
I’m so sorry.
You don’t need any quiet time to learn more than this: it’s time. A horse who is hobbling in pain despite max pain meds can be let go with a clear conscience. When we have the means at our disposal to end suffering, not doing so is unkind.
Don’t wait for his eyes to glaze over. Don’t wait for him to stop eating. Don’t wait for him to be unable to get up. All those are waiting too long.
Make the appointment, spoil him rotten, and remember him as he was, and before things get worse. Big hugs.
Have to agree with Xanthoria, it is time now to let him go. He is not going to hold up a sign for you. Limping with strong meds, needing to keep him out now, means you néed to call the Vet, let him go. Waiting longer is unkind. Sorry the time has come to be ‘the good owner, friend’ give him a kindly ending.
I also agree with Xanthoria. It sounds like it is time to end his suffering. Maybe I’m extreme, but I would rather make the tough decision a MONTH too soon than a day late. As others have said, once you see clear signs, good quality of life is probably already in the rear view mirror. We tend to want a clear sign so we don’t have to make the tough decision, but it is our duty to do so as responsible owners. I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
Thanks for your comments, it’s still very difficult. I will probably give him a little longer… I can’t bare to imagine my time without him, you see, he’s kept at home with our other horses. Oscar was my dream come true, how do I say good bye to something Iv dreamt off all though my childhood. It’s heartbreaking, but thanks for your support. X
:sadsmile: My DH & his Buddy are in that vid.
Lost them both, Tom in 2002, Buddy in 2004 & I miss them both still.
The other names in my signature line are more memories, more pain, but also knowing that when I had the privilege of deciding, it was my responsibility to do so.
OP:
This is the hardest decision any horseowner ever has to make.
But in the end we do what’s best for them, not us.
Wishing you & Oscar the Peace you both deserve.
{HUGS}
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I recommend an animal communicator. They will give you a better picture of how Oscar feels. I think that’s the most important. Not what you feel, not what COTH members think you should do, what he actually feels. Oh, I hear the non-believers now talking about woo… but I don’t care. I have had many experiences with animal communicators where they told me things that they couldn’t have known other than hearing from the animal itself that I could verify from their behavior or my own experiences with them.
I recommend Bea Lydecker who has been doing it forever. She also sells vitamins and has a website. I also recommend Janet Merrill, who I’ve had recently talk to my horse, she came recommended by Bea when Bea was under the weather. You can PM me for her number if you like. It’s relatively inexpensive, $40 or $50 for 20 or 30 minutes. There is another communicator I’ve used, she is a retired veterinarian and her name is Joy Mason. She has a website.
Chances are your horse knows your mind on this, he probably understands and quite probably agrees that it’s time to say goodbye. My experience is they usually do feel what we emote. This experience of talking to them through a communicator makes the whole process of letting go much easier for you. I have let quite a few animals go throughout the past 30 years and I always have a communicator present beforehand. It helps with the pain, it helps with the guilt, it just eases the mind. Animals are in touch with their own mortality. They have simple minds, but they do understand more of what happens with their bodies than we think they do. When you know your animal is in peace with the decision it’s much easier to bear.
For the skeptics: Animals have minds, they can be trained, they have memories, these are facts. Communicators talk to them in pictures and they do it just fine over the phone. To be honest, I used to be skeptical of that long distance thing and only would use them in person, until one time I was adopting a Rottie at the pound many years ago. Before adopting a dog I usually call Bea to get a handle on their personality and background. There I was at the pound in Cali and Bea was in Oregon and she told me how each dog was sitting or lying in their the adjoining cages on either side of the dog she was communicating with. That pretty much convinced me she was seeing through the eyes of the animal she was communicating with while she was on the phone with me.
For your peace of mind, I say contact an animal communicator while standing by your animal. It has always helped me when we have either adopted a dog or put one to sleep. I also had a communicator present for my last horse, when I let him go when arthritis interfered with his spinal column.
If he’s very lame despite pain meds, and there is no reasonable medical intervention that’s going to cure the problem, then it’s time. It’s actually past time, in my book; I do not believe we should wait until they’re in pain every hour of every day.
Yes it’s a hard decision, but it’s your burden, your obligation, your gift to him, to make that call. I’m sorry you’re in this position, we’ve all been there and it’s awful. Don’t wait for some grand sign from him. Our love for the animal and our own reluctance to make such a hard decision renders many of us blind to the reality that he’s already suffering.
Ask your vet if euthanasia is a reasonable action at this time. They usually they won’t initiate the conversation, and they won’t tell you that there’s only one right/wrong approach. But when asked, my vet will always tell me if he would support that decision, or if it’s something that he’d choose if it was his horse.
Be brave, and come here for hugs whenever you need it. This community is full of people that will understand the pain.
Being the responsible adult to make the decision to euthanize before an animal is in unrelenting pain is part of the contract of owning them. It’s your duty to do it when it’s the right time for him - not for you.
How do you say goodbye? Gratefully, knowing you did the right thing. You’ll be able to sleep at night knowing you didn’t put him through more pain for selfish reasons.
Big hugs - I know: it is very painful. You must be brave. :sadsmile:
(and yes, I know some people get a great deal of peace from animal communicators, but it really, really doesn’t take a crystal ball to say your horse’s body is used up, even if his mind is young. It’d be cruel to take advice to keep him alive from a communicator if what you say here is true)
Maybe these guidelines will help you:
https://aaep.org/horsehealth/euthanasia-most-difficult-decision
Sorry that you are there now, there is no easy answer.
Echoing quietann. “giving my horse peace” is very different from “ending my horse’s life.” Yes, they are only words, but the reframing puts it into a context that we can wrap our brains around. Your sweet horse has given you his entire productive life. In return, now, you would be giving him his just reward.
It sucks. All of it is painful. We all have been where you are now, facing that hard decision.
Not to be harsh, but are you giving him a little while longer? Or you? How about this: put a small pebble in your shoe tomorrow. Don’t take it out until you’ve made the decision. That will help you understand how every-day, every-step “minor” pain affects quality of life.
I don’t have any other advice to give, but I wish you and Oscar peace. It’s always hard to let a beloved animal go.
He doesn’t sound like he’s enjoying his life anymore, OP. He’s so stiff he hobbles even on as much medication as is appropriate. He has bed sores and can’t sleep comfortably. He wants to be in his house, but he’s out in a field, uncomfortable.
All of us have our time to go, and I think he is telling you that he’s ready to find out what’s next.
Be strong- this is the last act of love we can give our animals, to let them go peacefully when they’re ready, even when we aren’t ready.
I’m sorry you have to make this decision. As the other posters have so eloquently said “better too early than too late”. The saddest part about loving animals is that they don’t live as long as we do, and we ultimately should let them go in grace.
This is what we agree to when we take an animal into our lives. It’s your job to take care of him and do what’s best for him, not what’s easy for you
