Euthanasia, what do I need to know

[RedHorses]

@Cowgirl

After two rounds of bute, my mare seems to be doing better and having a better quality of life and so I lose sight of the actual facts and question myself. I am glad she is feeling a bit better as my goal was to give her the remainder of the good weather.

This sort of thing makes it more difficult for sure. You’re not alone.

Last October we had a spell of cold, wet weather about two weeks before my Wobbler’s scheduled euthanasia. He was miserable, and let me know it. I was afraid I’d left it too long. I put his midweight Wug on him and the next day he was sweet and happy.

And the doubts reared their heads. “If all he needs is extra blankets, I can do that.”

Those thoughts skip over all the other reasons I had decided to euthanize. He still didn’t know where his legs were. There’s still going to be dicey winter footing with snow and ice. His feet dragging was getting noticeably worse. He slipped and fell down regularly in good weather. He was very uncomfortable in the cold - and if he needed 200g at +15C, how much insulation would he need at -30C?

Recognize the temptation, and trust your knowledge of your horse. (((hugs)))

[OverandOnward]

It’s hard because once we pass through that door, there is never any going back.

It’s easier to stay here than go forward. Enjoying what we have, what we treasure.

Especially that feeling that “this extra accomodation isn’t hard, we can keep going like this” – but the inevitable changes all around us happen anyway.

It can be possible for a time to hold things still and enjoy them as is. But as RedHorses said above, time doesn’t wait on us. It keeps moving regardless.

That step forward can be tremendously hard. When the time is right, look forward and beyond. To the comfort of knowing that this horse is ok, and always will be, forever. No more worrying about what’s next for this wonderful horse.

[Cowgirl]

Thank you so much for the support. I am on the countdown now to September 25. I have changed my mind 100 times today. She looks good, is walking almost sound now that she has wedges and a more appropriate dose of equioxx for her body weight. BUT, I can still see her ribs (this is a horse that I have battled obesity with her whole life) and I know she cannot keep up with the young horses if they decide to gallop off (likely how she slipped and tore the last time). We will soon enter icy weather. It is selfish of me to want to keep her for my own needs. But oh boy is this hard and I am sick over it. I have two friends coming over, one to stay with my mare until the truck takes her away (I will say goodbye when they sedate her); another to wait with me in the house. I am worried about how my young horses will react, so I decided not to leave.

[Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom]

Big hugs for you. The time between making the call and the actual appointment is the hardest thing you can go through. But you know you’re doing the right thing.

[GraceLikeRain]

Sending a massive virtual hug. It is one of the hardest and bravest decisions we have to make. It sounds like she is getting to go out with dignity and still able to enjoy life. That’s such a gift.

[Demerara_Stables]

Sending love and big hugs.

[OverandOnward]

@Alex_and_Bodie_s_Mom

Big hugs for you. The time between making the call and the actual appointment is the hardest thing you can go through. But you know you’re doing the right thing.

This is so true.

As your mind keeps changing, remember that you don’t want to endure this agony again.

You are giving the greatest gift it is in our power to give. IMO. Natural decline and death can be cruel. Your wonderful mare gets to leap over all of it, and transition straight into peace, thanks to you.

Holding many thoughts for you during this time.

[ATXmom]

Sending you many hugs

[IPEsq]

Waiting for the appointment date is the hardest part. I have found that some quiet time just hanging out with them and being present can help…puts you briefly in the moment and can help quiet the feelings of dread or doubt.

[Cowgirl]

It was done on Wednesday and everything went as best as could be: compassionate vet, compassionate removal person, friends who came to assist, beautiful morning, and she just quietly crumpled down. She seemed ready and was very happy at the end. The night before we watched sundown together (one of her favorite things) and she had a big bucket of red grapes and bananas with breakfast.

The sadness is deep, not just the loss of a dear and loved friend, but the end of an era of my life (she was mine for 24 years). I truly appreciate the compassion of all who replied on this thread. It helped me so much.

[trubandloki]

I am so very sorry for your loss!

[HorseLover65]

I am sorry for your loss. Doing the right thing is rarely easy.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

I’m so sorry. You did right by her. Hang in there.

[endlessclimb]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

[ATXmom]

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

[IPEsq]

I’ve been thinking about you. I hope the kiddos are providing some comfort.

[luvmyhackney]

I’m so so sorry for your loss. You did right by her and I know she is so thankful to have spent that last sunset with you.

[Demerara_Stables]

Rest in peace sweet girl. Sending you love and hugs. It’s great to hear it went as well as it could.

[Kyrabee]

{{{Cowgirl}}}

[OverandOnward]

After 24 years, I can’t imagine the depth of loss you are feeling. But thank you for sharing that last lovely day with her. And how ready she was. Many huge hugs.