Hugs. It’s hard, but you are making the right decisions.
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My heart goes out to you. It sounds like the right thing to do, probably one of the hardest things to do. You will get through it.
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The most kind thing we can do for our animals is also the hardest for us. I recently had to put down my dog, my best friend of 15 years, when she had a previously undiscovered cancerous mass burst. She was in serious pain, and although the vet said we could try to do surgery, I didn’t want to prolong her suffering. She cried in my arms as I said goodbye and I knew I made the right decision, even though it broke my heart. How I wish I could have made the decision to let her go under less emergent conditions. Better one week too soon than one day too late, right? I hope you get to find peace in knowing you are saving your animals from a life of pain, and are able to give them one last excellent day 
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My condolences.
I was in a similar situation, but with only 1 horse. I put her down yesterday. She was my 2nd generation homebred, but basically retired from lameness (hock arthritis) for the past 4 years, and suspected undiagnosed conditions (more arthritis? kissing spines?) as well as tricky guts her whole life. When I was told I had to move my horses by the end of this month, the writing was on the wall.
I agonized all month about it, and told myself I had done wrong by her by not investigating the myriad issues she’s had all her life, even though it wouldn’t change how she was managed.
What finally eased my mind somewhat is knowing that she has not had a great quality of life for some time if not the majority of her life, and it’s ALL about QOL for horses.
You are doing the right thing for both of your horses by halting their pain but not making them continue on without their buddy.
As an aside, once Vida was gone, my vet commented that, with her condition (poor) and her feet developing white line disease (which I had been treating for the past 2 weeks after her last farrier appointment) even though ALL her life she’s had great, strong hooves, and which was starting in her other hoof now too, that it was likely she was developing/ had developed Cushings, so we avoided that horror, and the possibility, given her history, of a horrible catastrophic ending. I saved her from that.
Again, I’m so sorry, and big hugs
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What an awful place to be in. You can clearly see you love these 2 horses and I hope you find peace with making the difficult decision.
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So many hugs. I agree that together is best for both of them, and the hardest for you.
Fostering sounds like a great idea, once you are ready
So sorry for your loss. Hugs
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your mare, and you are right – quality of life is everything. Big hugs right back.
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I’m so sorry for you, big hugs❤️
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I am really so sad for you.
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Words seem so insufficient at times like this. Please know that many of us are thinking of you and sharing your sorrow. Yet know you have much respect for having been such a wonderful caretaker of these two horses. ((( HUGS ))) 
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I’m so sorry for what you are going through, it’s heartbreaking but you are doing the right thing for your precious horses.
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I’m so sorry. Could you possible foster or board a horse for someone? That way you could decide if you want to put both down at once, or if you would rather put one down and wait until the other is ready to go?
It is absolutely heartbreaking to lose 2 beloved horses at the same time and I really feel for you.
I thought about this all day today - and the answer is yes. I reached out to our local rescue and they have a weanling gelding that is, in her words, “brilliant, curious, non-stop, reactive and a little shit who will go a long way with individual attention”.
I’m going to set up panels outside one of my stalls tomorrow morning, and go pick him up hopefully tomorrow afternoon. I know Arnie is telling me it’s time, but maybe with little boy coming in I can buy Sheriff some time - maybe not. I am going to reach out to my vet and see if Osphos might be an option for pain relief for him. I’d really like to buy enough time to get him through the summer. Having the baby here might help Sheriff, we’ll see.
For the first time in a while I see a ray of sunshine - It doesn’t make losing Arnie easier but the thought of horses still in the barn soothes my heart a bit. Our rescue lead and I know each other well and if Sheriff can’t be kept comfortable she has a few more rescues that I can choose from to keep the weanling company. I’ll keep you all posted
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It is never easy to make these decisions. My heart goes out to you. Last month we made the decision to say goodbye to our older dog. She would have turned 14 next week. Even as I write this post I am weeping because it is still so fresh for me. It was the right decision for her but god my heart hurts.
Last week I ordered a digital photo frame and when it arrived I filled it up with photos of good times - and most of the photos include her. Depending on how I’m feeling in the moment the pictures will either cause me to cry or smile. I know it gets easier with time and healing to accept this loss, but saying goodbye will never be easy.
This morning a friend re-shared a post on FB about saying goodbye to horses. She included her own thoughts as both an owner/rider as well as a vet tech who has been there when for clients when they say their final goodbyes.
Here is the text from the original post… I cannot figure out how to get a sharable link from FB for it. Credit to Calie Chase - Nov 2, 2021:
FB Post: A Good Death written by Calie Chase
A Good Death.
Trigger Warning-Conversations surrounding euthanasia and mental health.
Yesterday, we said our goodbyes to three horses. Yes, three. Many may ask why so many, on the same day. The answer is simple-to give them a good death.
Most horse owners are dedicated to giving their equine family members a good life. In fact, the best life possible. Quality feed, well-fitting tack, consistent cares, and love. It may be fair to say that many don’t assume death is a part of a good life. I feel it is the most important part of a good life. Accidents happen, sure. Freak accidents, rapid illness or changes in health all happen. But more often than not, a horse got old. Their aches and pains from a life of hard work catches up with them. Getting up is harder, walking across the pasture is harder, they slow down. A comment my vet said once has always stuck with me, “if this is the best it gets, is it good enough?” When the answer is no, it’s time to consider a good death.
One mare we were a solid 6 months overdue, another about 6 months too soon, the last it became quickly apparent it was time. Euthanasia takes coordination-with the vet, equipment to bury a horse, and to bring together the people who loved them. All with the same purpose, to give a good death.
We’ve all seen posts, often this time of year, when people are wanting to quickly rehome their old/lame/ill horses. “Free to a good home,” they say. Saying goodbye to a loved horse is hard, but what’s harder is not guaranteeing their fate. We need to normalize a good death. Death is far from the worst outcome our equine friends can experience. More often, death is kind…it is compassionate…and it can be good.
My saint of a vet came once again, to tend to my aging herd. With her help, we said our goodbyes through sobs, tears, and funny stories. We sent our mares off with all the love they expected from our family. We gave them a good death. The death of these mares doesn’t just weigh on our hearts and our memories, they weigh on hers. She was asked to be the ‘angel of death’ so to speak, but also a counselor, the strength in a terrible moment, and a friend. It’s not easy to watch horses go, but it’s even harder to watch the pain of people in that moment, people she has come to care about mourn this moment. I spent weeks, months, stressing over this choice. Is it too soon, am I being selfish keeping them going, oo today was a good day….today was a bad day. She listened and supported a choice that I alone could make, to say its time. Today, the day after sending three mares off including one I have had for over 2 decades, it is far too easy to be engrossed in my own pain and not think about how this stays with my vet. We all owe a debt of gratitude to our veterinary staff, even in death.
The back of my pasture has become the final resting place for many old and lame horse. Horses who we’ve ensured had a good life, who we’ve loved, and even thought it was hard, we also offered them a good death. The goal of horse ownership shouldn’t be simply to offer a good life, but also a good death.
–You are welcome to share this post. Together, let’s normalize a good death.
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There are no words that are right in this kind of situation, so I will just say
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Understand the struggle and my heart aches. But I do think you are making a wise decision re the rescue/foster etc. The thought of walking out to an empty barn, paddock, pasture would be incredibly gut wrenching - This weanling will certainly keep you busy and fill a little tiny part of the hole…
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I am so sorry for what you are facing, and understand your struggle.
You have done the best for both of them their whole lives, long and short, and now, I know you will continue to do the best for them, with love. Arnie has told you it is time.
Getting the weanling is a kind thing to do for him, and should help Sheriff deal with the loss, and help you as well. Godspeed Arnie.
Sending you all good thoughts and sympathy.
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So very sorry, fanfayre, for your loss of your precious Vida.
Please don’t be hard on yourself.
Sending hugs to you.
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Dear @Kenny80908,
I was struggling with the decision to put my one 22 yo retiree down, as he was uncomfortably lame and I was running out of treatment options, when I realized he had been turned our with my other, 23 yo retiree for 14+ years, and they were most often ridden together throughout that time.
The other retiree, my much beloved personal horse, was pasture sound, but no more than that.
I came to the conclusion that they had to go on the same day; that it would be horrible to leave the slightly sounder horse behind to grieve.
It took me some time to come to terms with that; but I picked a beautiful fall day and thanks to an amazing vet and some family support, that was what we did. They went together, easily and peacefully, and are buried side by side.
You are absolutely doing the right thing, as hard as it is. It is the right thing for both horses, for Arnie because it seems like he’s out of options to be comfortably sound, and for Sheriff because leaving him alone would be awful.
I won’t lie and tell you it will be easy. It won’t.
I will tell that mostly what I felt afterwards was …peace. I think I processed all my grief working my way up to the decision. Mostly I felt gratitude that they both passed so easily, and relief that I wouldn’t have to make the decision in the middle of a January icestorm.
I wish you similar peace.
Please PM if you’d like to discuss in detail.
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