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Fear after a fall

Hunter/Jumper
#1

Longtime lurker looking for advice on what strategies have been helpful in dealing with fear issues after a recent fall.

A bit of background - I began riding and jumping well into my adult years, so picking up this sport had been both challenging and oftentimes humbling. Fair to say that I can be nervous rider with a well developed sense of my own breakability even under the best circumstances. A few weeks ago I had a fall from my horse. I have owned this guy over a year and he is normally a very level headed and forgiving soul, but due to some truly extraordinary circumstances, I ended up landing hard and took a few minutes before I was able to get to my feet and hobble out of the ring with some assistance. Luckily I was not seriously hurt, but it put me out of commission for a few days and has really rattled my confidence.

I have been back in the saddle with my boy a handful of times since then and each time am what I can only describe as a nervous wreck - grabbing his face the second I get nervous, which just makes things worse. He has handled it all beautifully, but I am still panicking any time I feel like he is going fast or starts pulling against me (which of course I am creating because I am pulling on him constantly).

I have also ridden a couple of the saintly been there done that packers in my barn since the fall and have not had the same issues on those rides - was able to get back to my “normal” self there very quickly. My head tells me I have no reason to be fearful on my own horse either, but my body goes into panic mode on aultopilot.

Any strategies you all have used to help get yourself back in the game after a fall?

#2

Good for you for getting back on! Take things at your own pace, don’t let anyone tell you that you should be doing more than what you you feel you can do. As for grabbing his face, try putting a neckrope on him for you to grab instead. Do lots of little easy things until they get boring. Nervous to walk around the ring? Have someone lead you around for 10min or for 30min, however long it takes untill it becomes the most boringist thing in the world, then be done for the day. If it is only your horse that you are nervous with it may help to do some groundwork with him, play some unmounted games with him or go for a walk, just to kind of build up your trust again. Take your time, you’ll get there

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#3

I have had some terrible wrecks. One thing that helps is to control your breathing. If you hum a song to yourself you will be forced to breathe. Another thing is to think of statistics. If that was your only bad fall in however many years, the likelihood of the next one happening tomorrow is very low. I am sorry this is happening to you, and I have been there. I had to play a polo tournament after a bad wreck a few years ago, and my back was so screwed up I needed help mounting. I shook the entire time. Just keep going out there and some day you will work through it.

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#4

Is there a good, patient trainer that could give you a lesson or two on the lunge line? That can be very helpful.

I’ve gotten nervous about some things since my kids were born. Especially jumping. I haven’t fallen in several years (knock on wood!) and haven’t had so much as a close call that caused the nervousness. It’s more just knowing how much can go wrong and not feeling 100% fit coming off a period of inconsistency due to health issues.

Some things that have helped me:

-finding a trainer that knows just how much to push

  • splurging on things that make me feel more secure. Cheese grater stirrups? Check. Good, cushy French saddle (used)? Check. Grab strap, crash vest, and air vest? Check, check, and almost enough saved up.

-Encountering situations where my skill is tested and living through them and slowing trusting myself again.

This morning, I was lucky enough to catch a few glimpses of an internationally known show jumper/coach who had come to the barn to do a training ride on a client’s young horse. My trainer takes lessons from him and he actually comes to guest teach fairly often though this was my first time meeting him. What was so mind- boggling about it was that it wasn’t the typical setting of watching this guy give a clinic. It was just seeing a polite, unassuming man walk into a quiet barn on a cold Monday morning and hop onto the waiting horse and everything that makes this horse too much for most riders disappeared in a heartbeat. And realizing that I had never before watched anyone in this man’s league riding except from a grandstand. The speed and massive stride of this horse that would’ve had me hauling back on it’s face was nothing for him. He somehow was pushing the horse out in front of him and the wild energy downshifted into ground eating strides with perfectly even tempo and length. When the horse returned to his stall he looked tired but happy - like this rider inspired such complete confidence that the horse was able to do something he didn’t know he could do and was proud of himself!

I went out on my hack in the wind and cold on my sometimes silly but never dangerous horse and tried to take just a tiny bit of that confidence and control with me. It helped. My brain was still awfullizing everything . “What if he bolts and I fall and crack my head on the road? What if he thinks that puddle is a Liverpool and tries to jump it? Aaaaaahhhhh!” But I was able to interrupt those thoughts for the most part. “if he runs, just double him back. you’ve stopped him before. He gives up easily. So what if he jumps? You’re actually capable of staying with him.”

#5

Start small. Trust isn’t built again in one ride, do risk-averse exercises until you feel like yourself again. Are you triggered into this feeling of nervousness when cantering? Add lots of circles and transitions to break up long bouts of canter and to get your mind thinking on something other than nerves.

If your fear is affecting the way you normally ride, you may consider allowing someone else to sit on your horse so he is not “punished” for behaving normally.

You’ll get back there in due time!

#6

I think it can be beneficial, if possible, to try and isolate what issue(s) your fears focus on.

For me, I am pretty confident on the flat. If I am going to be anxious, it will be over fences. It took me awhile to figure it out but my primary issue is the concern about the longer, more forward distance. I’m not as brave or as balanced as I was as a teenager, so those long distances give me cause for concern as I worry about not being ready for anything that might happen on landing (spook, play, trip, etc). Keeping the fences small, and focussing on verticals/narrow oxers helps. I worry less, and can build my skills/confidence levels for bigger/wider fences. If I don’t feel up to jumping oxers on a particular day, I am quick to let my trainer know. Typically, we end up jumping them even if it takes me some warm up to get there mentally.

So, for you, if you get nervous about speed or pulling, give some thought to exercises that will help you build confidence and skills. First, do what you can to ensure you aren’t dealing with a fresh horse - turnout, some lunging before you ride, or even having another rider warm the horse up for a few minutes first. Then, keep to the speed that you are confident at until you are bored. There is so much you can do at a walk/trot - bending, lateral work, ensuring your horse is listening to your aids, etc. Then build in the faster work in a progressive way. Consider trying some lunge lessons where the horse is controlled by the handler (on a well mannered/trained horse, of course). When riding off the lunge, be smart about where you build in your upward transitions. For instance, asking for your canter at X on a 20m circle will help you - the natural curve of the circle will set you up for success much more than asking out of a corner heading down a long side. Keep the canters short - nothing wrong with playing with 5-6 strides of canter at first.

Give yourself permission to keep it simple, and don’t assume that because you jumped around a course on Saturday, that you will be up for the same thing on Sunday. Not to minimize the challenges that kids/teenagers face, but adult amateurs tend to have so much baggage! Its not just riding, its the stresses at home, at work, etc. I’ve found that treating each day as an “individual” is so helpful. Especially since horses are also individuals, and can be affected by so many factors as well (weather, turnout in particular).

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#7

First: Falling off is a NORMAL part of riding. If you don’t fall off you are not pushing your capabilities as a rider.

Second: All riders who fall deal with fear in one way or another. There is nothing to be ashamed about or to be concerned.

Third: Own the fall. If you have to crash might as well make it spectacular.

There is great advice being given. For me, I get back by falling off again (let’s me know it isn’t a big thing). I also realize it is more fun to keep riding because it is fun!

Here is one where where I was pretty sure I was about to be killed:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=31651942621&set=a.31651657621&type=3&sfns=xmwa

Here is one where I made a stupid mistake

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151274903892622&set=a.31651657621&type=3&sfns=xmwa

#8

I’ve been there OP!

If possible continue working at “you level” with the saintly horses

Back to basics with your horse to gain each other’s trust. Stick to walk or walk/trot. Keep is causal and FUN. When you start smiling on your own horse again, the confidence will come back :slight_smile:

#9

I have had 2 falls off of my new horse in 6 months after not having fallen off in about 20 (I’m pushing 50). :rolleyes: . Both occurred over fences - once she popped me off (over a cross-rail my first lesson on her-awesome) and the second she stopped and spun (approaching a fence).

I had a few weeks of seriously doubting my life choices and whether I should throw in the towel.

I was lucky- my trainer was witness to both (one caught spectacularly on video). I am also lucky that it wasn’t “on the flat” so I’m braver about riding her, in general.

I’ll tell you what everyone has told me- be easy on yourself. Ride with eyes on the ground (someone to be there). Losing confidence is a tough thing. You’ll only get it back (if you are lucky) by taking your time, not pushing yourself ALL the time, working with someone who will know when to push or encourage you or when to back off.

#10

And here is a good crash where I KNEW I was going to fall off before I even got on. But playing in the deep snow was worth it. :slight_smile:

https://www.facebook.com/reed.ayers/videos/10150473418167622/?l=2817586189629102330

We all fall. We all get scared. Even at the highest levels.

Another thing you might try is flying dismounts. Walk, trot, canter, left and right side of the horse. It is an old school thing that taught us to not fear the fall and to learn that we can control the fear and the fall.

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#11

I have been there more than once. Am still sort of there right now. The older you get the harder it is to recover from falls. Several things helped me and perhaps could help you too.
Be gentle with yourself. Its normal to be scared and nervous in your situation. Give yourself time. Lots of it.
Air Vest - my last fall broke some vertebrae and it was a hard recovery. Having the vest makes me feel less vulnerable to serious injury. They are expensive; work with a knowledgeable tack professional for fit. It has to fit properly to work properly and not interfere with your riding. SCHOOL HORSE - it is hard to get back on the horse you fell off of. I couldn’t do it for a long time. What I did do was start back riding on an older bombproof school horse in a lesson with someone I knew and trusted. Good school horses will not react to your nerves, pulling, etc. They usually canter very slowly. When I started riding the school horse I realized I wasn’t afraid of my horse, I was afraid of all riding period. I did not get back on my horse until I was comfortable WTC and maybe even a cross rail or two on a calm school horse. I started being led around at the walk, having a panic attack the whole time. Took about a month to get back in the groove. Psychotherapy. Are you in therapy? If not, seek out a reputable professional who can help you understand your fear and panic responses. If that is too out there, try a mental sports coach. I worked with something called EMDR to process my panic attacks and it was very helpful. I have to admit I also took a mild tranquilizer (Dr. prescribed) the first few times I rode my own horse. My horse is also a reliable good egg but the association was so powerful it took me a while to get back on him. Relax and have faith, the love of riding will return to you, it will just take a while. Good luck

#12

I had a bad fall off of my very trustworthy horse six years ago and that fall messed me up. As snotty as she can be jumping, this mare NEVER puts a toe wrong on the flat. Like ever. I had been previously riding a very spooky & flighty horse that didn’t help my already nervous nature, so having a horse that I could trust not to suddenly exit stage left or buck me off had been a huge boost to my confidence. Until one day, she randomly caught a toe, tripped, and wound up falling down ass over tea kettle. Fortunately I landed clear of her, but she tore up her knee really good in the process (you could see bone…) so getting back on wasn’t an option. This was the first time I had ever fallen and not been able to at least get back on at the walk. I’m not sure if that was part of my problem or not but it certainly didn’t help (nor did getting bucked off of a different horse the next day, I’m sure).

Once my mare recovered enough to be ridden again, I realized that I was now terrified of her falling down with me again. Walk was fine, trot was okay, but canter was down right terrifying. All I could see in my head was her falling. I’d canter one or two steps and pull her up, crying & shaking. I was supposed to compete in my local medal finals, which was my year’s goal, in a few weeks and here I was not able to canter.

There were two things that wound up helping me. The first was doing a lot of visualization. I’d picture us cantering, and instead of her falling I’d make myself visualize cantering through the corner and staying upright. It didn’t always work - sometimes my scared subconscious would butt in and put images of us falling in there but eventually I was able to push them aside more and more until they went away. The second was trusting my trainer. I’m the type of person who does what they’re told when riding - you tell me to jump the big oxer, I jump the big oxer even if I want to wet myself (this is a byproduct of a childhood trainer who didn’t take no for an answer). And I trust my current trainer very much - I know she’s not going to make me do something that I’m not capable of and she’s not out to get me hurt. And she knows my horse better than anyone. So I made my trainer sit in the corner of the ring and yell at me (nicely) to canter. One more stride, one more turn/ Don’t stop. Just canter. And I cantered…I cried, but I cried and cantered. And every day it got a little easier. And we made it to medal finals and didn’t die.

Honestly, I still have flashbacks about this every now and then. It’s been over 6 years. I can still see what happened in my head. I randomly think about it riding and get nervous. But then I tell myself how many strides we’ve cantered since then and not fallen over and it helps.

So be kind to yourself. Falling is scary. But know that you’ll get there and you’re not alone.

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#13

So much good advice here!

I have one small thing to add, though I know it is not relevant to the OP’s situation: I think the old school notion of always getting right back on the horse is really a wise one. Unless you absolutely can’t do it, I think just getting right back on in the moments after a fall, even just to walk around or do something very simple, can powerfully diminish fear later. (Or at least it does for me!)

2 Likes
#14

Be careful doing the flying dismounts, though. I, too, am of the old school and it totally came back to bite me in the butt in 2017 when my mare spooked hard at speed and, once I realized I was going off, I tried a flying dismount. Broke my leg in three places. :slight_smile:

I like what someone said above about working the statistics. It’s very easy for us to focus on trauma because it’s so, well, traumatic, but the reality is that you have ridden your horse probably hundreds of times and nothing bad has happened. The trauma was an anomaly, not the norm.

I also like the “be kind to yourself” advise above. Not everyone is the same when it comes to dealing with trauma and fear. Some people need to push through it, some people need to process it and take it slowly and there is no shame in that. If you need to just get on your horse and walk for three months, do that–maybe in conjunction with taking lessons on the steady eddies so you don’t start to think you’re only capable of walking, but if that’s what it’s going to take to get your confidence back and rebuild your relationship with him, that’s fine.

Until she broke my leg, I was completely comfortable taking my mare out for hours on the trails alone. Since then, we have been out alone only once (and it was a horrible cocktail of her stress and my fear), so we have been going out with friends instead. I am only just now ready to start out alone again (if spring ever comes, that is). Do what you can when you can and then be proud of yourself for doing it, even though you were scared.

#15

I’d forgotten about flying dismounts/emergency dismounts. They require practice to pull off. I found out the semi-hard way I’m rusty in that department. My horse got amped up at the hunt coming towards us and popped a couple small rears. Nothing to worry about except he was facing upward on an incline. I’m an athletic 43yo. I do Jiu jitsu and I’m used to falling and getting thrown around. Even so, it was extremely tricky to time it to the right second to bail and not make the horse loose balance and fall or land underneath his front legs.

We watched a teenaged girl fall in the 2’9" class at state finals. She must have been a gymnast as well as a rider. When she got thrown forward onto the horse’s neck, she somehow managed to hook an arm around his neck and push-pull to balance herself in basically a standing position as he landed off the jump. Then she simply alighted on the ground like Mary Poppins. It was amazing. She saved the horse from falling by the look of it. She got a standing ovation from the crowd. I thought she should’ve won the class!

#16

What caused that fall? It looked like the horse reared but I couldn’t tell for sure.

#17

I have also ridden a couple of the saintly been there done that packers in my barn since the fall and have not had the same issues on those rides - was able to get back to my “normal” self there very quickly. My head tells me I have no reason to be fearful on my own horse either, but my body goes into panic mode on aultopilot.

Since you ARE fearful on your own horse, and are NOT fearful on other horses, I would say ride other people’s horses, and stay off your own horse until you get your confidence back.

(Shame on you RAyers. You gain nothing by scaring people)

#18

I found the book, “Riding Fear Free”, helpful after my first fall as an adult re-rider.

#19

Janet, how is that scaring folks? We all fall off. I just so happen to have a few of mine on camera, which can be used to show that generally “scary” falls are benign. Being honest about falling is part of dealing with it. When we make falling off something to be scared about is when we teach irrational fear to the riders. Just like motorcycle racing!

A rider who has some fear is a good rider. They become more focused, they know limits and how to handle them. Ask any professional jockey or eventer. Fearless riders are a danger to the horses and themselves.

My baby in that video simply decided home was a better option and reared up to spin. I think the video is hilarious, especially when the ears get smaller and I am in full layout flying backwards. And, obviously, he came back, I hoped on and off we continued. I do not hold my falls against the horse. Falling off is my issue.

As for the flying dismounts. You START at the walk and you do it until it is easy and even fun. It could takes days, weeks. months. Only then do you move up to trot.

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#20

I’ve been there, still am. I’ve had a few falls but only one really messed me up mentally, when we somersaulted through a bounce fence. I was pretty fearless jumping until then but after was nervous. Mentally I wasn’t thinking about it but physically I would tense up and shake, it was weird. Taking it at your speed is the best advice. I like the idea of doing something basic until it gets boring. Eventually you will work back up by perfecting the boring stuff. I jumped and showed for about a year after my fall but I wasn’t having fun so I changed disciplines and went western. I also got into horsemanship stuff too. I still wanted to be around horses. Eventually I ended up at an eventing barn because I found I missed jumping. The fear is still there, but I learned the desire was just as strong if not stronger.

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