FEAR FACTOR CLIQUE: a place to share, to vent and to be happy!

[Coreene]

Fellow Fear Factors, I have some wonderful news that I would like to share.

First, on Wednesday night I took a polo lesson! It was divine. Actually, I would highly recommend it for any fellow FFs. Within no time I was so focused on hitting that damn ball that I never thought of the horse again. Wonderful confidence builder, although my right arm hurt like a mofo for about three days.

I took the lesson with a coworker who had only ridden rental horses at the walk. She, too, is very competitive and at one point she FORGOT she couldn’t ride and spurred the horse after the ball. Two thirds of the way there it was “Oh, hello, what am I doing?” Just a quick shortening of the reins and she was fine.

She also beat me in our fake game.

WEEKEND UPDATE: everyone who posted re Fear Factor last week was very inspiring, and I took a lot of great suggestions from everyone. My trainer was ill and did not school Willem on Friday. Now ordinarily that would be an excuse for me not to get on, but then I thought “@#$% it” and did anyhow. We had a wonderful ride on Saturday.

Yesterday, boosted by this and riding on a wave of euphoria about it, I rode AFTER THE RAIN STOPPED. A big downpour. The ground is so dry that the water was instantly sucked up, and there was no wind, so I thought “@#$% it!” again and there we went. [B]Galloping. On trail![/B]

I LOVE ALL OF YOU FOR BEING SO CANDID. Because of this and my renewed vigor, I am:

a) accepting the fact that I should just have the @#$%&*$ boots made bigger and now wait until I slim down until they fit - they are going to the boot repair man tomorrow!

b) ordering half chaps!

Love,

Coreene
Charter Member, Fear Factor Clique

[Willem]

All she haff to say is “don’t nott to buck mein fat ass off.” Most of die time I will listen to this.

Und I loff it verrie much wenn she und me we go galloping on die trails.

I be a German horse und this be straight from mein mouth.

[Coreene]

One day I was having a jelly knee issue myself. It was after work one night last summer. Willem is wildly in love with Marie, the gal who turns him out every morning, does his blanket and fly mask etc., and will run along the turnout when she drives by in the golf cart.

Actually we can turn him loose in the arena and drive the golf cart around it and he will chase it.

So Marie said “Oh, I’ll ride with you” and parked the golf cart near the mounting block, and we “rode” for about five minutes, side by side, me on Willem and she in the golf cart. Then I was fine and scooted up on trail and had a blast, but it was really an original way to quell fears that day.

Of course, we also ride out with Marcia and her Shetland pony Peanut. I am mounted, she is leading Peanut, and Willem walks very slowly and does a parade walk, pointing his toes. He does this without any prompting.

Okay, a small tangent there but I really did feel better when we had the golf cart there that day.

Have you tried giving your horse Calm & Cool? It works wonders at taking off that wee edge.

[Coreene]

I have no idea how he does it! I ask him and he pretends like he doesn’t speak English. I ask him in Dutch or German, and he says “No comprende.” I ask him in Spanglish and he walks away.

[Coreene]

I checked back on my calendar and I have ridden more in the seven weeks of 2002 than I did in the last four or five months of 2001. I am pretty much riding every weekend, both days, and trying to grab at least one ride during the week as well.

As soon as the days get longer, we’ll ride after work more often. I’m aiming for a few next week.

[lawndart]

following a golf cart, or Willem prancing beside a shetland pony. I hope you have pictures. I board a crazy TB and often think if I could just get some of his antics on video, we could be a contender for the $100,000 on AFHV.

I usually ride with my daughter, who has learned to ask first if I’m OK before she calls 911!! It doesn’t seem to matter if we are with his best buddy, a horse he hates, or alone. He is definately more nervous alone.

I would rather not resort to feeding him a calming agent, I think I’m just going to break down and get someone better than me to deal with this issue. I have always trained my own, but that was before I hit the big 40. The reactions are slower, the balance is not as good, and the ground is definately harder. I’m afraid if I continue on my own, he will turn me off riding for good. Gaaak, I’m such a wuss.

[Won2Keep]

I had not fallen in over 5 years and then it happened over Labor Day weekend this past year. One of my babies stumbled and went down and slammed me into the ground. The next time I climbed on, I realized that I was nervous. It still has not left me completely. I ride with my hands a little higher and I am aware of the footing.

I was bucked off over a fence a few months later with the same baby and it did not affect me mentally nearly as bad as the first time.

I think having 5 years in between falls was almost worse. I kept thinking I was due for a bad one. I still have to watch my mental pictures before shows or lessons. I always seem to be having negative thoughts. I also have to remind myself to be mentally tough, but smart. Lunging the babies is never “over doing”, but I need to push myself also. For instance, last week, I had a lesson at my trainer’s new farm and the footing was less than perfect. I jumped courses and kept a consistent pace even though I was scared of tripping. I felt so proud of myself when I got done. Pushing myself just a little really helps with my confindence. Also, knowing others feel the same way helps a lot.

[monstrpony]

Good on you, girl, go for it! I have to admit to having a very useful reaction to that discussion, as well. I realized that my fear occurs when I first mount, and the reason is that my one bad fall/accident was shortly after mounting. The horse I ride now is a smidge cold-backed, so between the two of us, we wig each other out completely. But, he’s never given me any reason to question him–he humps up, but has never misbehaved, the fall was off another hors–so perhaps now that I know where the problem stems from, I can address it.

I also had a ride this weekend when it was extremely windy, on a horse who doesn’t like wind. It was nice to give myself permission to wait for another day, rather than gutting thru a ride that would have been counterproductive for both of us.

Very much in favor of a Fear Factor Clique–so very useful to those of us creeping up in the years!

[Maria]

Nahhhhh, your not a wuss. And if you think this is something that someone else can help you get through, I say GO FOR IT! There is NO shame in getting help.

[Coreene]

You’re right, the mental picture works a lot.

For a long time I was petrified of flying as well. The control factor. Then I went up with a friend in his Beech and sitting in the front made such a difference. He had me take the controls when we went over some hills, so that I would be “steering” through turbulence. Now I just visualize when I hit turbulence when flying, and it is the difference between night and day.

Same with riding, if I have a day where it may be difficult to get on I just visualize for as long as it takes. I also visualize what would happen if he did buck, which in a perverse way does help because it reminds me that had I not jumped off I would not have had my accident.

[Coreene]

And you can do it each and every time you don’t feel like doing something.

Like I said last week, I am fortunate because my fall occured right when mounting, so once I am a dozen steps from the mounting block I stop worrying.

[Pocket_Pony]

I’m going through a difficult time right now in my learning curve because my new trainer is having me do things totally opposite from my old trainer and I’m having a hard time transitioning (I’m talking jumping, here). Mickey has started stopping because I get anxious and tip and take my leg off…also the chiro came out yesterday and he had been REALLY sore, so maybe that has something to do with it.

My trainer doesn’t ride, so it is all me, which I’m fine with on the flat, but I think Mickey needs some confidence rides over fences and I’m not sure I’m the person to give it to him…aaggghhh!!! I don’t want to make my horse a stopper and I don’t want to ruin him1!!!

“It’s amazing how there’s no time to do it right the first time but always time to do it over again.”

[HeyYouNags]

Wednesday I rode the Fat Boy at <shudder> dusk. That is when the scary flesh-eating deer start to rumble in the woods. Also, small children can be heard playing in the street in the neighborhood that’s a mere, oh, mile away.

Since he’s got a major spook (drop shoulder, bolt sideways and scramble) and I’m a card-carrying Fear Factor clique member, I’ve been trying to limit rides to full daylight. These threads inspired me to push the limits a bit. It wasn’t the greatest, he was tense (does that mean I was tense? ), and there was one medium bad spook, but we soldiered through and survived intact.

Something that’s helping with my issues is converting to the church of full leather seat breeches. Hallelujah and pass the deerskin.

[LazyTrot]

Instead of riding this weekend, I went skiing for the second time in my whole life and discovered 2 things. One is that the very thing that scares me skiing is the same that scares me riding: I don’t like going fast when I’m not entirely sure I have control enough to stop. I was slower than anyone else in my group!!! I am a wimp, no doubt about it. However, if I am determined to engage in such risk-taking behavior, I do feel much more comfortable in a saddle (english, western, or bareback, in fact) than on skis.

[Coreene]

Willem seems to be more balanced if he has the Calm & Cool in his feed. He would definitely be a candidate for Prozac if they made it for horses (when ridden, not on the ground). And I am sure that a lot of it is me, too. But last Sunday when I rode after the rainstorm, it was sans anything and I was fine.

Ugh! I think that is what is so often a frustrating thing for all of us - because the Fear Factor thing comes and goes. Some days there’s not a care in the world, some days you have an ongoing conversation in your head about riding.

Batgirl, is there someone else at your barn who could ride him over fences while you watched? Or another horse you could practice on over fences?

A confidence ride on another horse is such a boost sometimes. If I need a boost, I will take out my friend’s Quarter Horse and ride him around, which I do bareback in his western bridle. He is two hands shorter than Willem and it’s nearly impossible to get him to faster than a crawl, and he is a great reassurance. Actually, the last time I rode him I was so looking forward to it that I - in my excitement and blondeness - mounted from the wrong side. Without realizing it!

[Coreene]

I will confess to having a bucking strap at the front of my saddle. You know, the one which passes itself off as the Easy Carrying Strap. Touch wood I have never used it, but it’s another one of those I Feel Better With It There things.

Happy happy happy that I am “unscared” after leaving the mounting block.

Maybe I need to ride over a few fences this weekend.

[Cactuskate]

I have not been following the “Fear Factor” threads, but I am sure I resemble that remark!

Not only can only you give yourself permission, but nobody can make you do more than you want. If all it means is getting on board and walking and attempting a leg yeild, hey you did it. Chances are we get more brave as we go.

Take it from me, the view from on top can be pretty special!

“The older I get, the better I used to be, but who the heck cares!”

[Pocket_Pony]

coreene

Yes, I’ve got some other horses to ride, thanks to my trainer. They are totally made horses that know their jobs inside and out (but one of them used to have a stopping problem too). I’ve emailed someone who used to ride with my trainer and would love to have her on him, but I don’t know if she’s available as she just had a baby and doesn’t live conveneintly nearby. There’s another trainer at the barn who I would consider putting on him but I haven’t decided to approach her or not yet.

I may end up leaving and going to another barn altogether if we can’t get this worked out. I’m visiting a friend tomorrow at her place to watch her lesson and see how it goes.

“It’s amazing how there’s no time to do it right the first time but always time to do it over again.”

[Willem]

I don’t nott to jump no more, this I find to be below me und I only jump wenn I want to und not wenn she wants to.

Go find another Deutschen pferd to do this mit!

I be a German horse und this be straight from mein mouth.

[lawndart]

My horse bucked me off again this weekend. I didn’t want to ride him, but I did not have any excuse not to. I need someone to make me want to get on, not give myself permission not to, thats easy for me. I may have to give in and send him to a trainer.

Willem, I love your attitude!