Fitting square pegs into round holes

[Texarkana]

Why do horse people (and people in general) try so hard to fit square pegs into round holes?

I see this so frequently on the social media horse groups, and even here on COTH from time to time.

Fake Example:

Person A: I’m looking to buy a 18” dressage saddle with a medium tree. Budget is $1000.

Person B: I have a saddle that is perfect! It’s a 16” close contact with a narrow tree. Only $2000!

Then occasionally, person B will keep pushing the sale and even get huffy when person A doesn’t bite. Or, person A edits the post to include an exasperated “ONLY REPLY IF YOU ARE SELLING AN 18” DRESSAGE SADDLE FOR UNDER $1000! I will delete all other responses!!!” Such messages are never well received, yet I also feel for the OP in those instances because it is helluva annoying when people can’t realize that what they are offering is not even close to what you are seeking.

You see it with everything: horses for sale, farms for sale, boarding and training, tack, even general advice.

Why do you think people do this?

Are we as horse people worse than the general public about this?

[Libby2563]

Ha, I agree that that is super annoying. I think in the case of social media, the people posting those not-even-close responses are just hoping that somebody else who happens to be looking for what they have will see it. I’m guessing they don’t really care if they annoy the original poster because that person isn’t their target audience anyway. I think it’s a side effect of so many ads/sales moving off searchable sites like Dreamhorse and onto the mess that is Facebook…people gotta hustle to get their items in front of potential buyers.

[mmeqcenter]

@Texarkana

Fake Example:

Person A: I’m looking to buy a 18” dressage saddle with a medium tree. Budget is $1000.

Person B: I have a saddle that is perfect! It’s a 16” close contact with a narrow tree. Only $2000!

:lol::lol::lol:

@Texarkana

Are we as horse people worse than the general public about this?

I don’t think so. I’ve sold a fair amount of household goods online, and bought, and it’s the same scenarios. ISO Large bookshelf, brown. Replies with a white chest of drawers. Close enough, right?

Also people asking unrealistic price and refusing to negotiate. The other day on Facebook marketplace someone listed some several-years-old water troughs for $10 more than they retail new at TSC. :lol:

[clanter]

I more commonly see the forced fit being applied to the horses, the owner wants it to be something it can not be then get upset.

Here is my English Pleasure Horse that we went back east to purchase since most oft eh sock around here was western.

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The horse did nearly Everything but English Pleasure, so that was what she was…and to this day we still do not have an English Pleasure horse

[Texarkana]

@Libby2563

Ha, I agree that that is super annoying. I think in the case of social media, the people posting those not-even-close responses are just hoping that somebody else who happens to be looking for what they have will see it. I’m guessing they don’t really care if they annoy the original poster because that person isn’t their target audience anyway. I think it’s a side effect of so many ads/sales moving off searchable sites like Dreamhorse and onto the mess that is Facebook…people gotta hustle to get their items in front of potential buyers.

A very fair point.

A friend of mine has returned to horses after a 20 year hiatus. She was asking me where to shop for horses today: websites, publications, etc. I had to LOL!

I think people in general like shopping on FB because of the instantaneous results.

I guess I’m wired differently than some in the sense that the hustle irritates me more than others, especially when it delivered inappropriately. Like… (another fake example) “I don’t care how nice your 2H bumper pull trailer is, I asked about buying a 4H head to head.”

[OTTBs]

OMG this drives me nuts! “Looking for boarding stable within 20 minutes of__.” Everyone chimes in with barns 1+ hour away.

Per your questions, I don’t know. People are stupid and/or can’t follow directions?

[Texarkana]

@mmeqcenter

:lol::lol::lol:

I don’t think so. I’ve sold a fair amount of household goods online, and bought, and it’s the same scenarios. ISO Large bookshelf, brown. Replies with a white chest of drawers. Close enough, right?

Also people asking unrealistic price and refusing to negotiate. The other day on Facebook marketplace someone listed some several-years-old water troughs for $10 more than they retail new at TSC. :lol:

How annoying on both accounts. I guess the only thing I really shop for through social media is horse stuff, which causes my perception that we do it more.

When I lived down south, there seemed to be a phenomenon that people would buy anything used at any price. Good deals were a lot harder to come by! Old, broken particle board entertainment center from Walmart at a yard sale? Obviously it’s for sale than more than it sells new… and even worse, someone buys it!

[Texarkana]

@clanter Do you mean in terms of riding? I agree you see it with horse owners and their horses’ jobs… yet that doesn’t bother me. As long as a person is not abusing their horse, what they choose to do with the horse is their business.

But what does bother me is someone posting an ad ISO an English pleasure horse and 20 people respond with working western horses for sale.

[Texarkana]

@OTTBs

OMG this drives me nuts! “Looking for boarding stable within 20 minutes of__.” Everyone chimes in with barns 1+ hour away.

Per your questions, I don’t know. People are stupid and/or can’t follow directions?

As much as I try not to make snap judgements about people, it leaves a bad first impression with me because I also question whether they are capable of reading or following directions.

[ASB_Stars]

I understand exactly what you’re saying but it can be interesting sometimes…

Case in point- I had a local trainer call me many years ago and tell me that she was looking for a horse for her client. Something 16 hands, prefer a chestnut mare, needs to be made. I said The only horse I have for sale is a 16.2 hand brown gelding, Green but Uber talented over fences. And they came over and bought him. :lol:

There’s a saying in real estate “buyers are liars”. It applies to a lot of things.

[furlong47]

People just don’t read for comprehension and are too lazy to look at photos. This works both ways - when I was selling stuff I would list very clearly what I had along with photos and still get questions that were already answered in the listing. (Blue cob sized Hamilton halter for sale (with description of condition and photos) $12 shipped - people would ask what color is it? What size is it? What brand is it? And then be like never mind, I’m looking for a green oversized halter and I only want to pay $3.)

I would occasionally answer ISO ads if my item met almost all of their criteria - and I did sell some items that way, as not everybody is entirely set or strict on things like color or brand when they can get a good deal. But I would not offer something so wildly different as OPs example. I think sometimes people do that just to get their item in front of more eyes - many of the Facebook groups limit how often you can bump up your post, and are so busy that things quickly get buried. If you post it on a ton of vaguely related ISO ads, more people will see it.

My favorite thing is the crazy prices people sometimes ask. No, I’m not paying $45 for a dirty, faded used saddle pad that sells for $50 new.

[tabula_rashah]

So I posted a couple days ago on an endurance page looking for suggestions to hold a larger cell phone and must go at the top of the calf. I stated very clearly that I’ve had 3 horse holsters that have all fallen apart in record time and that I did not want to put the phone in the thigh pocket of my riding tights because A) it makes my phone sweaty from leg ick and B) my mileage tracking app gives me an incorrect reading when it’s in a thigh pocket. Oh and also that holder needs to fit my bee meds.
I did get lots of helpful responses but the main one I got was put it in the thigh pocket. Then when I was like, um no don’t want to do that- I was told people don’t get sweaty on their thighs and that I am reading my mileage wrong lol

[ladyj79]

@OTTBs

OMG this drives me nuts! “Looking for boarding stable within 20 minutes of__.” Everyone chimes in with barns 1+ hour away.

Per your questions, I don’t know. People are stupid and/or can’t follow directions?

To be fair, there are a lot of those ISOS that are asking about dc :lol: I always feel duty bound to point out that those unicorns dont exist

[Redlei44]

@ladyj79

To be fair, there are a lot of those ISOS that are asking about dc :lol: I always feel duty bound to point out that those unicorns dont exist

You beat me to it - was just thinking the same. Someone can ask all they want about boarding/training options within 20 minutes (heck, 45 minutes) of the downtown DC area; the plain fact is that there really aren’t any, particularly once someone adds in the usual “must have great turnout, must have indoor, budget $[below market]. I feel like most responses acknowledge that they’re not really meeting that criteria at the same time that they’re offering other suggestions.

[TXPiaffe]

@tabula rashah

Oh and also that holder needs to fit my bee meds.
I did get lots of helpful responses but the main one I got was put it in the thigh pocket.

Not to hijack the thread, but I also need to carry an epi pen. Did you get any useful suggestions???

[tabula_rashah]

@TXPiaffe

Not to hijack the thread, but I also need to carry an epi pen. Did you get any useful suggestions???

Yes- going to try the Cashel ankle safe one (the medium size looked like it would fit my phone best, and I went with the velcro style rather than the zipper). I thought it looked bulky on the photos of it online but then a friend showed me hers and it really wasn’t.

[Arelle]

Drives me nuts; the only time I can see it applicable is if what the person wants doesn’t exist. For example, the boarding option - I want to find a barn with x ammenities within 15 miles of y. Okay, well I’ve lived here my whole life and that doesn’t exist, but here’s everything on your list at 25 miles out.

As a tangent story (quit reading if you’re busy), I had to laugh the other day when I went into the miniature horse rabbit hole. My husband bought me an AMHR gelding for my birthday last year and I want to show him, but I’ve been trying to find a trainer to help me - my entire life I’ve shown APHA and H/J, so I’m capable of doing it myself but I want my hand held the first season so I can ask questions, learn what judges look for, etc. I’ve discovered there are NO trainers within at least three hours of me in Dallas/Fort Worth - which is insane. BUT - one of the breeders locally that I had asked, I also made mention that if they ever got to a point where they wanted to sell a “broke to drive, amateur minded, pinto eligible mini” please let me know. (As they said that they usually had anything from foals to broke driving horses available for sale.)

Their response was “do you want a mare, gelding, or stallion”?

I guess it’s a valid question, but it struck me so odd. I told them I didn’t really care - I’m more concerned that it has a temperament that suits an haul in amateur and is safe and steady in a cart. Do they get a lot of people who are more concerned with it’s sex than it’s brain? How is that question number one from a breeder?

I think they thought I was crazy for saying any of the above, since their response was basically a thumbs up symbol. :lol:

[Texarkana]

@tabula rashah

I did get lots of helpful responses but the main one I got was put it in the thigh pocket. Then when I was like, um no don’t want to do that- I was told people don’t get sweaty on their thighs and that I am reading my mileage wrong lol

Stuff like this KILLS me. Again, this seems like something horse people are particularly bad about-- not believing the OP. We are guilty of it here on COTH, too, and in general barn talk.

Person A: “This bit doesn’t work for my horse”
Person B: “Clearly you are mistaken because I use the same bit and my horse loves it”

(Substitute “bit” with just about anything and the situation still applies)

[Texarkana]

@ASB Stars

I understand exactly what you’re saying but it can be interesting sometimes…

Case in point- I had a local trainer call me many years ago and tell me that she was looking for a horse for her client. Something 16 hands, prefer a chestnut mare, needs to be made. I said The only horse I have for sale is a 16.2 hand brown gelding, Green but Uber talented over fences. And they came over and bought him. :lol:

There’s a saying in real estate “buyers are liars”. It applies to a lot of things.

I agree that often buyers’ minds can be changed.

But at the same time, if someone is searching for a kid-broke pony under 14H and someone pressures them with a 17h, green OTTB… 99% of the time that is unproductive. I’m being hyperbolic in some ways, but sellers can be awfully pushy with inappropriate offerings and I personally don’t believe it’s justified by the Cinderella stories of the times when the unexpected happened.

If I told my realtor I wanted to buy a 3br single family home in the town of Springfield with a $350K budget, it wouldn’t be out of line to show me a 2br condo within my budget in the next town over. Yet if they showed me an 8,000 square foot mansion being offered for $2.5M in the neighboring state, that would be a waste of everyone’s time. I feel like social media brings out a lot of sellers pushing equally ridiculous offerings.

[Texarkana]

@furlong47

People just don’t read for comprehension and are too lazy to look at photos. This works both ways - when I was selling stuff I would list very clearly what I had along with photos and still get questions that were already answered in the listing. (Blue cob sized Hamilton halter for sale (with description of condition and photos) $12 shipped - people would ask what color is it? What size is it? What brand is it? And then be like never mind, I’m looking for a green oversized halter and I only want to pay $3.)

This is so true. I actually once taught a lesson to my high school students about not doing this! :lol:

I would occasionally answer ISO ads if my item met almost all of their criteria - and I did sell some items that way, as not everybody is entirely set or strict on things like color or brand when they can get a good deal.

I think most people do this and understand this. If an item ticks 3 or 4 of the 5 proverbial boxes, there’s a good chance it will work out for both parties!

But I wouldn’t have started this thread if that was always the situation!