“Stop trying to be so perfect and actually ride!”
“Stop making faces!”
“Pretend you meant to do that.”
After my mare was being somewhat witchy…“No schooling for us, lets train that witch!”
“Kick her butt!”
And today…
“I was THIS close to throwing my bagel at you!”
My all time fav is, “Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.” I want to make a t-shirt…
I love the idea of the diff between “Whoa” and “Whoa, g’dammit”.
The one I get the most now is “Be patient”. It’s kinda a combo of the 2 (tho for me it’s the diff between “go” and “go g’dammit” - and that’s on a really forward horse!
My favorite came yesterday when I was trotting around on my new, very SPRINGY horse without stirrups and my legs were already incredibly sore from running for the first time all summer the day before so obviously I was having a little trouble concentrating on well, anything so I was bending too much left around the courner and she was tired of yelling at me so she said, and this is a direct quote,
" If I have to tell you one more time to pick up your hands and not to bend left so much I am going to jump up and down and scream! "
boy I would have loved to see that, lol
What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers
Someone has a crush on the starter…
Proud member of the Glitter Clique!
“Go Back and Think about it”
“if in doubt wait it out”
“WHOA”
“oops his neck is broken” (when showing us how long a girls Martingale was)
“Sit up and Ride!!!”
“Perfect! Now do it again”
“Thank you Beans!”
“That horse is PHENOMINAL!”
“I saw that coming” (after getting a bad spot - WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME THEN??!!!)
" WAY Less horse"
" I’m not asking i’m Telling"
She always repeats herself
and my all time favorite
“Ride like you know what your doing”
~~It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit." ~~
“All great spirits have encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
bump
~Blaze~
never send a horse to do a pony’s job
member of the PC clique
stay just like that…dont move…dont move…YOU MOVED!! now go in the corner and think bout what uve done!
when a horse is trying to run out or stop
“Over, Under, or THROUGH!”
when im riding one of her greenies
“Dont fall off, the in gate isnt wheelchair accessible”
after i fall off
“i know the ring boys were cute but couldnt you have gone about getting their attention while you were on the horse”
for the beginners that dont know better
“could you tuck your shirt in so that you look like rider and not some thing off the street”
for people with no clue
“why dont you just write I dont know what im doing across your forehead”
her answer to why we dont have fancy stall curtains
“because i know you will decorate the stalls with ribbons”
pukey lesson pony
“she canters like a bag of rocks rolling uphill”
bad lesson
“so far you are consistant-youve made the same mistake 4 times try something new”
-or-
“wake me up when you learn to ride”
-or-
“have I taught you nothing?”
-or- (my personal fave)
“she couldnt ride her way out of a wet paper bag”
and my other trainer in florida when i met a cute ring boy decided my walkie-talkie call name would be ‘raker’
“raker-raker… come IN raker”
(how embarassing when I was standign next to the boy with the rake ) 
also when i try my ducking
“lean a-WAY”
bad course
“where did you catch this new ‘first-course-itis’?”
an my alltime fave from andy when I fell off and totally split my pants at my last show (lol)
“hey at least you were wearing underwear!”
(this got dirty looks from everyone so he turned around and was like “hey shes an adult Im aloud to say whatever I want”) haha…
“I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” -Thomas Jefferson
I am constantly getting yelled at for having my reins too long, and my hands too low…
Trainer-“Stop playing with yourself…that’s what Bruce is for!!! Raise your hands to your boobs…WHERE ARE YOUR BOOBS???THEY AREN"T DOWN THERE!!!” ( My response…".They are since I turned 38!!!").
Trainer at show- "OK, go on in...AND DON'T YOU DARE DO WHAT SHE DID!!!! (Said after a barn mate left long and got left, and slammed her horse on the back which made him get too fast, couldn't stop and had to circle, and then had a refusal.)
Trainer in lesson- " RELAX, DAMMIT, AND DO NOTHING…YOU CAN DO NOTHING, CAN"T YOU???"
Not trainer, but my boyfriend, at his first show (spectating), watching a flat class I was in, where a horse coming up on the inside slightly behind me runs into a jump standard…“I don’t know much about what the judge is looking for, but I’m pretty sure they take points off for having your horse run your a$$ into a standard”…said with a straight face.
In my lesson today…
:you’re very inconsistant. You make a mistake, come over the gymnastic again and fix it, but have a new one. It goes in cycles."
Said to my friend who was having a lunge lesson. She was told to exagerrate her posting.
“You look like you’re f***ing the saddle!”
~Lindsay~
A proud co-owner of CorLin PROductions, specializing in dressage, eventing, and hunter/jumper digital photography.
~Co-founder of the COTH Photographer’s clique~
My trainers never were too inventive with their phrases, but once instance involving another trainer still makes me giggle in wonder.
Last season, I was on deck for a Children’s Hunter class, riding my Jumper (long story, don’t ask). As my coach was giving me last minute instructions, another coach by the in-gate caught a glimpse of my less-than-impressed face. I guess I was worried, since my riding hadn’t been up to par lately (hence us being in the Hunter Ring). He looks at me and says:
“Darlin’, if you don’t start smiling, I’m going to have to start throwin’ rocks at ya.”
That sure got my spirits up!
Kelly
Just By Luck &
Silver Edition
“Save A Horse. Ride A Cowboy.”
Do NOT look at the horse. I will tell you if you fall off.
Tits to heaven, heels to hell.
After a rather ruff (sp?) combined training stadium course…
there was only one thing wrong with that course…EVERYTHING
Andrea and Dreamer
“Where will judging and showing go from here?–not likely to anything radically new. Horses will be horses, and riders will be riders, and good sound basics will prevail. We’ll always have to be on guard against the trendy, the mannered, and the exaggerated. After all, only the horse will really know. And he’ll always tell us…if we were born to listen.” - George Morris (Judging Hunters And Hunter Seat Eq)
“Could I sit on your foot, I like to swing.”
Andrea and Dreamer
“Where will judging and showing go from here?–not likely to anything radically new. Horses will be horses, and riders will be riders, and good sound basics will prevail. We’ll always have to be on guard against the trendy, the mannered, and the exaggerated. After all, only the horse will really know. And he’ll always tell us…if we were born to listen.” - George Morris (Judging Hunters And Hunter Seat Eq)
“I see you’ve negotiated the ‘I stay out of your way, you stay out of mine’ treaty.” - my instructor at school last semester, as I was riding a horse around on the buckle to keep him from fussing at my hands
“I really like this new and improved Ellen. She even smiles on course!” - my trainer this weekend
And my trainer’s new favorite word is “sweet.” So this weekend at the show, she kept telling her riders that they had “sweet little courses”. It was pretty amusing.
“$3000 for a saddle? Who do you know that has a $3000 ass?”
http://www.geocities.com/dunnbypicasso/
I constantly get, “Kick him forward, more more more more more! Don’t take back!”
And, “Pop that shoulder in” (my horse’s not mine)
And, “Are you a piano player?”
And, “Sit back, sit on him, get your shoulders back, leave your hands there, sit back!!!”
When a horse is being silly or cute, according to my trainer he is a “Giant Snufflupagus” (sp?)
When you forget to do something, you are having an “out of brain” experience.
~<>~ Daedalus built the Labyrinthe, so winding and complicated a structure that no man or beast, once shut inside, could ever find the exit~<>~
“Trainer Bob” aka Kate is always saying to me while I’m riding my hunter:
“Hey how does that mane taste?” because I’m always lying on his neck and shooting my body on him, etc.
What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers
Someone has a crush on the starter…
Proud member of the Glitter Clique!
“stop riding!” = I’m trying waaaaay to hard
“waaaaaait” = take the deep one
“stop riding to the out - ride to the in and let the out happen”
I guess she’s too nice to me because I can’t think of anymore! 
~ A bad day at a horse show is still better than a good day at work ~
This only happened once, while we were waiting for some others to go on a trail ride with us.
Something like:
“Ladies, unlike men, we have round thighs, and sometimes you just have to reach down and rearrange them.” I’m not saying which trainer though… he he.
Another trainer as I squeaked as I went over my very first gate (many moons ago):
“Is that a mouse in your pocket?”
“Look Mommy! It’s a whale!” “No dear, that’s your father.”
I hear this on a regular bases:
O.K. good practice now do it for real.
or
Thats a perfect example of what I told you not to do.
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