Getting rid of horses

[BeeHoney]

As others have said, it is not possible to re-home any of these horses. You could “re-home” them to someone who would quickly get them on a truck to auction, but that’s about it. Overall I think it would be irresponsible to try to pass them off on someone else. As someone else mentioned, I don’t believe any of these horses sound like candidates for a therapeutic program.

In the short term, get a farm sitter and go on vacation. There’s no question about that.

For the long term, I have zero judgement for you should you decide to euthanize. You didn’t mention the ages of these horses, but horses can live to be 30…35, and your feral pony will probably live to be 40. That can be a lot of years of responsibility and a lot of $$$, especially where three horses are concerned. I encourage you to add up the money and time as part of making a clear-headed decision. Horses are far more expensive and time consuming to care for than dogs or cats.

Anyway, I think it is perfectly fair for your husband to question both the expense and the time commitment/responsibility as it has a very real effect on him. Time and money, preparation for retirement, whether or not you even want to live on a farm anymore, and the health of your marriage/your husband’s feelings are significant real life concerns that you are allowed to consider. Especially if after all the time and expense it is not even enjoyable to you. I think it is very fair for both of you to discuss how many years of retirement you want to invest in for these horses.

@OverandOnward 's post has a lot of wisdom. I’d like to agree/emphasize that this is a really personal decision and not something that other people have a right to judge. We all do the best we can by our animals, and a peaceful passing after some years of pleasant retirement is a life well lived for a horse.

[2DogsFarm]

I doubt that.
Certainly not financially.
Even before I retired - which is when I did the most traveling - I never felt I couldn’t be away from the farm.
YMMV

[Seagram]

What is it people say? TL;DR?
But in a nutshell:

The pony was a bad decision. I was down to the ks horse, and thought she was lonely. Saw the pony on facebook, and figured why not? How hard can a pony be? Four years old, had always been living free in a pasture, with a herd. Not sure how the seller even got her on the trailer, to ship to me.
Some miracle drugs, I’m sure.

Pony has never come around, I feed her, can occasionally grab her by the halter while she’s eating, lead her around, but she has absolutely no interest in being friendly with humans and will rather kick you if you give her the chance. I’ve regretted getting her every single day. I thought I would be able to bring her around, but in the year and half that she has been here, very little progress has been made. I’ve never had one with this kind of attitude towards people. Some days I think she is terrified, other days I just think she is a nitwit!!

I’ve tried so many different things, round penning, just sitting close to her paddock and reading, feeding treats, leading her to grass, etc…It’s hell trying to trim her feet, she is literally terrified of my farrier, shakes like a nutbar, and he is the nicest, most patient guy in the world! She just blows through Ace, and Dorm. On a good day, I can pick up her front feet, but you can’t go near her hind end, she will kick your head in. I can’t catch her if I go into her paddock, I have to be sneaky, grab her before she realizes through the fence, then she gives in a little bit. But she hates every second of my presence.

Trying to halter her is very tricky if she gets the halter off. A huge exercise in patience, and involves a rope halter in the feed bucket, very sneaky pulling it on and then the leather halter can be put on. She basically lives in a leather halter, so that it will at least break if needed. She is just so frustrating to deal with. I’ve never hurt her, I feed her, some days she will let me rub her withers and ears while she eats, and she seems to enjoy that, but that is as far as she will tolerate my presence, and it doesn’t happen often.
I am not a newbie with horses, I’ve had them almost all my life, and have started a few babies on my own (with help from friends). But this pony just confounds me!!

There is more to the story, but this is the gist of it.

[Seagram]

These mares are all under 10. And they will probably outlive me!

[OnAMission]

We’ve always been able to get away, for oh 30 years now. Large animals in pastures, throw food/water at the chickens/randoms, throw food and water at the rabbit and cats, dogs in a fenced yard with a neighbor kid to check things and feed the dogs. Now it’s our kid that is the neighbor kid and the horses need a bale of hay every 10 days in the winter but our kid was able to hold down the fort just fine for two weeks while we went to Europe in Nov. She did in July too when we were gone for a week but we took the horses with us for that one. It just takes one capable caretaker (that can handle an emergency) and simplifying things from normal operating to long term for a few days.

What can be hard about getting away is being so stuck in the mental mud of doing it all and having it hanging over you all the time that you can’t really see getting away for a while. The hardest part of our trip in Nov was just freaking leaving. This is a rough time of year for feeling the love of having a place that seems to be taking more work than giving back rewards; for me it’s always seasonal.

[Seagram]

That’s always a thing for me, as well. Winter just sucks the life right out of me. Even this mild winter we’ve been having. I know there is light, coming soon. Just need to suck it up a bit longer.

[OnAMission]

Same, friend!

[Impractical_Horsewoman]

It sounds like your husband wants to downsize? Perhaps sell the farm so the two of you have more money, not just more time to travel? Are there any retirement boarding facilities that you know of? I know these can sometimes have issues, of course, but if you are seriously thinking of making a life change, you could crunch the numbers.

I also agree with @OverandOnward that no one will judge your final choice. The pony sounds particularly difficult–it’s hard when an animal is not affectionate at all.

[Critter]

If money is not too much of a factor, I would send the pony to a trainer - someone who does the mustang makeovers or similar…who is experienced working with a feral horse (there are trainers out there who are kind but understand that type of horse). Maybe they can put in some dedicated training time and you could find the pony a home or someone who can then continue that training.

For the other two…maybe looking into a retirement farm or a local retiree boarding farm? That way they can live out whatever a comfortable life they can, but you aren’t having to do the daily chores.

[OverandOnward]

Total random opinion on the pony … If the pony were mine, I would find a vet to put the pony down. Regardless of other decisions.

Because: If anything happens to you, at any moment, the pony is in for a very bad life afterward. It won’t be left to live out its life unbothered in some pasture. For many, many reasons.

I would explain that to the vet who may not be thrilled to be ending the life of a healthy equine, something I can understand. (I’d try to find a BTDT vet who compartmentalizes and rationalizes well, and won’t have angst about it. That won’t be every vet.)

I would not spend any money or time on training. You’ve given it the good effort, personally I accept that as a done deal.

An equine can get through their early years unhandled and end up basically un-fixable. The Black Stallion stories are just that – fictional stories. We have threads on COTH witnessing to the dangers of horses that have never been properly schooled on the basics such that the basics were absorbed, and are now in the wrong hands, to put it mildly. Either a totally irresponsible owner who allows the animal to be a jeopardy to the world. Or … neglected, abandoned, or worst of all, with someone who is convinced that they can beat it into submission. Whatever the circumstances, pony is likely to be in a cycle of one bad home after another. If not neglected and starving and forgotten somewhere.

The only way I would keep pony around is if pony is serving an critical purpose in some way. If the other horses need pony rather desperately (otherwise they will adjust to a loss), or pony is an irreplaceable weed-eater … but there isn’t much that would encourage me to keep pony around.

The pony has had its years of good life in your pasture. Just my opinion, if I were the owner, it is time to say goodbye and send pony to the big pasture in the sky, where pony will be safe forever.

But of course it is up to you. I like the idea of the vacation first, then make decisions. Hopefully husband likes that idea, too.

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

Ditto to what @Impractical_Horsewoman and @Critter said.

If you have the money to send the pony out to a mustang makeover type trainer/ cowboy colt starter type for 90 days… that seems to be the pony’s best chance for a productive life.

Then maybe retirement board for the other two? Or perhaps accept a retirement boarder at your place in exchange for farm sitting?

To me… it sounds like feral pony is an exhausting and stressful nightmare to have at home. Maybe just eliminating that variable would make life at home with the other two much more manageable. Just a thought.

[OverandOnward]

@Virginia_Horse_Mom

If you have the money to send the pony out to a mustang makeover type trainer/ cowboy colt starter type for 90 days… that seems to be the pony’s best chance for a productive life.

Honest question, don’t mean be argumentative … but a ‘productive life’ with who?

Just because I very seriously doubt the pony will ever be suitable for a child, or anyone without considerable skills with a flighty equine, both on the ground and in the saddle. Not a candidate for the average rider. It won’t be suitable for a therapy center. Not after 90 days, or any other length, with a trainer.

Remembering that having put in some general socialization work, the pony is still radical and a kicker about being handled.

My question is the plan for the pony’s future after training. Realistically, given the pony will still be a significant horsemanship challenge, what happens then?

[Virginia_Horse_Mom]

I hear you.

But there are a few factors I am still unclear on.

First… how tall is pony? If it’s a large, it is possibly suitable for an adult to ride. Ponies are not automatically only suitable for kids to ride.

Second… it’s a young pony. Yes… it’s feral now. And no disrespect to OP - who sounds like an experienced horse owner- but she sounds like an amateur who got this pony in her late 60’s? Maybe time with a younger, professional trainer would actually help make real progress with the pony. I’m in my 40’s. I still ride green horses… but I’m just an amateur and I sent my last unbroken baby out to a professional to get backed and started before I rode her. I’ve backed and started babies before… but I a not a pro and don’t bounce like I used to. I would imagine OP doesn’t either. Anyway… 90 days with a pro might be a fair chance for the pony before euthanasia.

As for who would want it? Well… that I don’t know. It certainly doesn’t sound like a therapy horse or a kids pony. But if it is physically sound, and potentially comes around a bit after it has some serious training… I do know that in the last week I have had conversations with three different young riders (late teens/early twenties) who are all looking for project horses in the lower 4 figure range, and having trouble finding much of anything that is sound. So maybe that’s a specific segment of the market where this pony could find a person. And who knows, with 90 days of cowboy work, and then another year of saddle time… MAYBE it would become a much more tame and trained pony, and could go on to have a good life as a riding horse.

Anyway… I am all for euthanasia in many cases. But for a sound pony/horse that is under age 8, and has never had a focused chance to get started and get past issues with a good colt starter or cowboy? I think euthanasia is a little premature.

[OverandOnward]

Probably just a personal reaction due to life experience with horses and the horse communities where I have lived. Have known several feral and semi-feral horses to go that route, and very few ended up with a suitable owner. Their problems continued.

I see very little prospect that the pony gets a lifetime good outcome after Seagram. Regardless of what is invested in improvement. The idealism is commendable, but it is putting the pony at far greater risk than I personally would feel comfortable doing. Just imo.

Fwiw this is an ongoing dilemma for rescues. Horses never started, or badly started, tend to end up in neglect situations. Some eventually end up in a rescue organization. Attempts to turn them into good equine citizens have mixed results. They can end up as a forever-presence on the list of needs-adoption. Meaning the rescue must home them and arrange for care for their lifetime. They can clog the rescue’s capacity for horses newly in need.

And rescues learn not to take equines from owners who can financially afford to care for them for this reason – they will be completely overwhelmed with other people’s discards that are hard or impossible to rehome. Not horses genuinely in need of saving from serious consequences where they are.

[Janet]

@Cowboy_Girl

Then you are exceptionally unusual

I don’t think she is particularly unusual. I currently have 2 at home but for most of the last 30 years I had 4 at home. I have a very reliable horse sitter, and have taken many trips (one as long as 6 weeks), leaving them in her care.

[HPFarmette]

I see several reasons to simplify your life and euthanize the pony. An animal that is unsafe to handle for farrier or vet care is likely highly stressed when those functions have to occur. Unsocialized animals don’t have the best life in the domestic environment. Yes, sometimes with a huge investment of time and effort they can brought to a better place but I think you have gone a sufficient distance with that animal. Yes, take some of the advice on getting a chance to travel but simplify your life first.

[BeeHoney]

I agree that euthanasia is a consideration for the pony. Retraining such a pony would be expensive and highly unlikely to be successful, but also includes some risk, especially if the pony is difficult to handle for even routine things like haltering and the farrier. Realistically, even if the pony were to be successfully trained, a pony like this is highly unlikely to turn into a desirable usable mount for a child or an adult amateur and most likely the pony would still be at risk of ending up in a bad situation. I would not feel good about passing this pony on to a teen or young adult wanting a project, both because I’d worry about some nice young horsewoman getting hurt, and also because I think that would be putting the pony at risk because when it doesn’t work out, it will be sure to be passed on again.

@Virginia_Horse_Mom I understand your point that it is hard to consider euthanasia for a physically sound young pony, but IMO mental soundness issues are every bit as serious and real as physical issues where riding horses are concerned.

[OverandOnward]

Yes to the concerns above, re the pony’s future.

My experience is that half-finished training projects being passed along can easily end up in abusive situations. Even highly abusive. Some people are bad trainers and don’t accept non-compliance.

I would say ‘or on the truck to Mexico’, but for the most part they don’t take ponies because they are too small for the space they occupy on the truck. But the equine can end up slaughtered anyway, where they are. There are people who eat horsemeat when they can get it, and slaughter at home, in certain parts of the country. I don’t know where Seagram is. Horsemeat can also be sold out of the back of a car to certain food establishments. Horses considered bad actors can end up this way, in the part of the country where I live, at least. Somebody ends up with it who thinks they have to get something out of this animal.

[2DogsFarm]

I always tried to travel when weather wasn’t horrible, just because I didn’t want my farmsitter dealing with lousy weather.
Maybe you can time your getaway with the start of decent Spring weather & come back refreshed mentally to the Usual Barnwork?

Re: your pony
Year & a half for an unhandled 4(5?)yo is an eyeblink.
My Hackney Pony turned 24 today.
I got him as a 10yo through my shoer, strictly as a companion for my WB.
He’d been broke to drive - shoer is very experienced, at one time drove a 6 of ponies - but had crashed twice, so shoer told me never try hitching him.
He’d been living for 2yrs at another of shoer’s clients, largely unhandled, either stalled or turned out by himself.
He was nervous, but could be handled & loaded easily for me to bring home.
But when I turned him out, sans halter, it took me at least a week to get a halter back on him.
Did that by trapping him in a stall.
My horses are fed in stalls they have free access to 24/7. Stalls open to drylot, that opens to pastures.
Pony was smart enough to figure this out, but also smart enough to flee to pastures if I entered his stall from the aisle.
Only in the past couple of years has he let me halter him in his stall & to groom(curry off mud) I still need to block his exit with a muckfork across the back door
Could he jump over it? Yes, but he agrees it’s a barrier. I still have to halter him to do a thorough groom, but once the halter’s on, he will stand, untied. Ponybrain.
So, to my mind, your pony is still a Work in Progress.
If you have the timeframe I had to see if she comes along, could be useful.
Still: my pony will be euthed if he outlives me.
Even today, I can’t see him ending well with anyone else.
Same for my 21yo can-be-quirky horse.
9yo mini will go to a Therapeutic barn with a Driving program.

[TBROCKS]

You’re sick of your horses and want out. . and you thought you’d find like-minded people on COTH? Honestly I think this isn’t a place where people will support that you brought horses into your life, and now you’re over it. You’re verbiage “get rid of them” says a lot about your attitude as a horse owner.
There are definitely circumstances where people have to sell or rehome horses. But this…the whole attitude coming off your post, I just feel really bad for your horses.