Hate to ask, but minimizing the 'horsiness' of your home?

[JanM]

I found it very satisfying to get flatware, and plate patterns to replace items I bought cheap or were hand-me-downs. It felt very adult to have nice stuff that was actually my choice.

At the same time, I took everything out of the kitchen cupboards, and only kept what I used, liked, and what was in good shape. Anything that was way too big, or too small, or a duplicate in cookware was donated. I also matched storage containers with tops and bottoms, and anything without a match went to recycle, and any size I would never need too.

When I decided I wanted to get things to replace my cobbled together kitchen dishes, and flatwear, I went to a small outlet mall that used to be near me. I bought a set of my choice Corelle dishes, and flatware, and bought skillets and sauce pans that I wanted to have for a long time, I bought those at Target, and Walmart. It was so liberating to donate what I no longer liked, but it was all in good shape. I also only have one set of flatware, dishes, and cookware, because if I don’t need it, then there’s no point storing it, when I can give it to a good cause.

[Displaced_Yankee]

This is the way! I added some “Tupperware” bowls to the baby chick pen…so the lids can now be recycled and out of my cupboard!

[Scribbler]

You can get very nice stoneware dish sets at an affordable price these days. You can also often get old fashioned giant flowered china sets free or cheap from estate sales.

IME nothing makes a house or especially a condo stink more than indoor pets, especially cats with litter boxes inside.

I don’t have pets. I do track in a lot of hay, hog fuel and clay sand dirt up 3 flights of outdoor stairs, and even when I take my boots off at the front door, I shed hay, shavings, and hog fuel out of my clothes and hair in the bathroom and bedroom. I do change when I come in. But I don’t find this creates stink. Just mess on carpets.

When I try to dry a soaking wet turnout blanket in my front hall, that stinks. But otherwise the problem is dry mess.

[lenapesadie]

Maybe this is a symptom of an underlying issue with SO, I don’t know.

That said, house pets are gross. I love my dog and my cat, but once these house pets cross the bridge I am taking a break from house pets. Dog vomit is foul and cat boxes are disgusting. I could go on. I keep two horses at home as well. They are far less of a problem. Never once has a horse puked in my shoe or peed in my sink. Mr LS is a good sport, but we both acknowledge the house pets are gross.

To mitigate the filth that house pets generate, we have to clean more than if we didn’t have house pets. We are tired. We are working. We don’t like doing extra housework. We don’t like dog hair piled up everywhere.

Horse specific, I don’t bring sweaty saddle pads or tack into my house. I keep some gear inside but only dry, clean things and they are stored in my home office. Any clothes that get wet / sweaty get hung to dry or put in the washer immediately. Shoes that see stall mucking are washed regularly.

I don’t know the answer OP, but can the cleaner come more often?

[Ajierene]

@MunchingonHay, I was responding to the quoted text stating wanting to replace hand-me downs is superficial, not the issue about the animal smell.

@anon55755751 I can understand the decision paralysis…the main reason why I still have the chipped dishware. A house fire enabled a kitchen upgrade and I keep looking online and comparing pattern to price…what do I want, but is that to much to spend? Do I really like it for the money? Sometimes, when I am here (had to buy a new couch as well), I will do two things:

1-make a deadline for when I have to make the decision
2-look through websites and save, searches and see if I still keep thinking about that. Sometimes I will find something I like and keep that tab open while I search other sites and do the eye dr thing “do you like 1 or 2? 1 or 2?” Then keep whatever I like better open, discard the other and move on to the next comparison.

[Warmblood1]

I mean, to non-horse-cat-dog people, all three can be quite gross. Dogs smell unless consistently bathed (I have a dog that rolls in horse shite almost daily - found that out after he was allowed in the bed. ) They generally shed and track in mud and dirt. Cats generally do not smell but shed and vomit hairballs. My latest cat whom I recently euthanized due to cancer was vomiting and not using the litterbox in her last days. I am constantly cleaning mud and dirt that is tracked in from working outside with horses. Let alone how filthy and smelly I get, along with my clothes. I don’t think it’s necessary fair to write off your husband’s feelings about this because there may be legitimacy to his feelings. There may also be other things going on. Regardless, you must live with him. I would ask specifically what’s bothering him because it could be something you wouldn’t automatically assume.

Some things I do to manage it all -

I bought a robot vacuum and run in frequently. I love the little thing. I also have a very convenient stick vac that I use.

I’ve rerouted traffic to a specific area to contain the dirt. I established a sacrifice area for all of the muddy items or outdoor clothes, shoes, etc. I also established specific spaces for tack that flows into the house and keep it organized.

I don’t allow said poop covered dog in my bed or on furniture anymore and if the dog is inside, he is bathed regularly and brushed. Dogs smell and we get used to the smell. Ask you SO if part of the issue is where the animals sleep.

I bought a robot litterbox that flushes the litter. More sanitary, less smell. I also brushed the cat more.

We got rid of all the carpet. Hardwood has been much easier with animals. Any animal bedding is constantly cleaned.

You get the idea. Also, I use to have difficulty buying new things as well for a plethora of issues. Sometimes still do. What makes it easier for me is waiting until I find something I absolutely love. If I feel strongly about it, I buy it because I know I will cherish it. I also think decorating your house can go a long way. We had our house minimally decorated while renovating and adding the cozy touches really does make a difference in my quality of life. Find things you find meaningful and don’t overwhelm or rush yourself in the process.

[jvanrens]

@Displaced_Yankee

I rotate my laundry detergent scent (I like the brand, just change scents)

I refuse to use scented anything in my laundry. I’m allergic to most of them. Fabric softener, especially those horrible Unstoppables. If I want to get rid of odours in clothes, I use Borax and hang on the line. Any chemicals that last for weeks are not welcome in my house.

[Djones]

If the house is purely a vehicle for getting through your day and your patterns, then it’s not a home.

Maybe a better conversation is ‘what things would you like us to do this Summer around the house?’ maybe that reveals the living room is just a place, not a cozy retreat. or yeah, it doesn’t feel GOOD to come home. I recall walking into a friend’s house and was overwhelmed by the DOG of it all. Crates everywhere, smelly, and just a mess of a house. I understand that’s not your situation, OP, but my friend lived for those dogs, and didn’t care a bit about the house. If what he really wants is for the house to feel more like a home, maybe that leads to some day-dates looking at paint or walking through open houses or going to art shows. something that’s novel and different.

Some will say well that’s his problem. I think in any partnership there’s a lot of blur between who owns what. Meeting him in the middle of hey thanks for letting me know about x…so what else might we tweak or do to make the house more welcoming…that’s both peeps to work through.

[trubandloki]

@Warmblood1

I mean, to non-horse-cat-dog people, all three can be quite gross.

They really are no more gross than young humans.

They also track in yuck, puke, etc in the house.

[Displaced_Yankee]

I’m too cheap for fabric softener!

I do generally aim for products that are dye free or uses more natural scent sources (ie: lavender, tea tree oil, etc). I am fortunate I am not as sensitive to those items as you are. I understand your perspective.

I don’t do it so much for the odor control, soap usually gets them clean and unsmelly just fine. But I do think rotating scents in laundry detergent, shampoo, body wash, candles, flowers, etc does help to keep you from getting ‘nose-blind’. I don’t know if that’s a thing…just my uneducated testing of Mr Yankee changing his body wash or me leaving a load of clean clothes in my living room for a week

[jvanrens]

I’m a fan of scented candles, though there’s a good sniff test before I purchase anything, and I mean a GOOD sniff test. I can usually tell if it’s something I just don’t like or something that is going to be giving me a blinding headache pretty quick. I bought some scented detergent once that I used and ended up leaving in the line for three days, and then washing again to get ride of the scent. I made the mistake of giving the bottle to one of the trainers at the farm I was at for horse laundry. Left a couple of times with my eyes crossed if his groom did laundry when I was there. Fortunately he was kind and made sure he did laundry at a time I wasn’t there, which I greatly appreciated.

The best smell in the world to me (besides Shetland pony and fresh baked anything) is laundry fresh off the line, especially in the winter when it comes in frozen. I put it on a drying rack over a heat vent to freshen the house in the winter.

Pine Sol broke my heart when they changed their formula. Can’t use that anymore. Fortunately Mr Clean and all the knock offs don’t bother me so that’s my go to for cleaning floors now.

[tabula_rashah]

I’d tell him to not let the door hit in in the behind when he leaves. If he thinks your cats and dogs are gross, how do you think he’s treating them when you’re not there? Get rid of him

[Bearx2]

Is he spending more time around the house then he usually does ? Sometimes when you are home more then usually you begin to notice all the little things that wouldn’t bother you when you are spending more time outside the home . I would see if he would be open to paying for a professional deep clean and then having the cleaner come in more often. Sometimes starting fresh and getting extra help can make a huge difference.

[Warmblood1]

@tabula_rashah

I’d tell him to not let the door hit in in the behind when he leaves. If he thinks your cats and dogs are gross, how do you think he’s treating them when you’re not there? Get rid of him

I think lots of animals are gross but that doesn’t mean I would abuse them or mistreat them. Quite the opposite as I have devoted most of my life to animals in some sort of capacity.

I have to wonder how many people commenting in this thread are in long term, successful relationships themselves.

[tabula_rashah]

I’ve been married for 20 years thanks. My husband would never say anything like that to me and vice versa

PS I just read the original question to my DH without telling him my response. His answer, this has nothing to do with cleanliness, it has to do with control

[OnAMission]

28 years in with a DH that thought that one dog one cat outside was the way to be and he is so not there now; he loves them as I do. 5 dogs/4 cats/4 horses/2 goats/too many chickens. He has never called them gross ever. The litterbox yes, but that’s legit. To me that’s kind of an attack word when the people aren’t in agreement. I think calling them gross is an escalation; OP is the only one that can sort that out.

[applelover]

I mean, my DH and I often laugh about how gross our little couch demon (aka “dog”) is, but we laugh about it together and both love her with our whole hearts. Even when she urps on the carpet and licks it up before we can stop her. That’s love, man

[pony_grandma]

Off on a tangent w rural abodes - my idea of a utility room at the back is a scored concrete floor with a drain in the middle and a hose on the wall. What’s this walk across white uppie carpeting to get to a powder room bullshit? Where do people hose off their dogs, keep their mops, and clean their boots, etc?

Has the op come back to the thread?

[anon55755751]

I am around and appreciate all the conversation and perspectives. Don’t have much to add. Also tied up in work obligations.

[deweydee]

My husband grew up on a dairy farm turned cash crop/a few vestigial beef cattle and he recently asked how I could attempt to not make our new vehicle smell like horse. I’ve never heard him complain about our house (with cats) or his parent’s at the farm, but the car definitely bugs him.

At least for the car, I track dirt in and will occasionally leave horse items to sit there for a few days. So, I don’t think a complaint is necessarily totally out of bounds for someone who supports your hobbies.

Tbh, if my husband complained about the house and I wasn’t leaving horse stuff around and I was showering immediately… if he wasn’t super sensitive to smells as a whole, and I was being thoughtful to start, I might find that a tough discussion. So, for me, it kind of depends on the context.

How long has this been SOP? If it’s new and you’re figuring out the balance vs it’s always been this way and now he isn’t willing to discuss it, that might be the difference for me.