One last suggestion–when you groom a horse there can be a lot of dust, dandruff, and hair. Using a horse vacuum as part of my grooming routine has been helpful about reducing the amount of all of that that ends up sticking to me afterwards.
Just jumping off Bogey’s point.
DH should not come into the house thru the mud room. I’m assuming he doesn’t, but if he does, what else would he expect than a nose ful of horse first?
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Can you remove the horse item you need to sell from the laundry room? Other than that I think he will just need to learn to live with it graciously? Animals do create a bit of mess but they are worth it.
What is " barn smell" ? I can see if you are sweaty that your riding clothes may have an odor he can smell ( arena dust/ your sweat/ horse sweat) but maybe just keeping a clothes basket with barn clothes needing washing in the garage will be enough.
Some people can just smell every little thing. That would be difficult.
Compromise is key if he will do that.
Wet dirty things in a pile can send a wide stink, whatever the source of the dirt.
How dirty you get at the barn depends on the functionality of your property. Are you coming back soaked to the knees with poopy clay mud? Also what you wear. As teens in the 1970s we tended to do barn chores in running shoes and wide legged jeans that really wicked moisture up and flapped around. As an adult I’m in a substantially mud free barn, but I also wear either breeches or jeggings (if not riding) so nothing drags on the ground. If I am in a muddy barn I wear tall rubber boots I can hose off. Etc. Your outerwear should be machine washable and you should have duplicates so you have time to wash and dry jackets.
I do shed a lot of hay and shavings in the house, even boots off at the door, stuff falls out of my socks, hair, and pockets. But it doesn’t smell.
I love cats and dogs but I grew up with indoor/outdoor cats and find litter boxes disgusting and in my friends condos, the smell can be pervasive.
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“Never quite enough” resonates fully with me. It is exhausting.
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[Rant incoming:]
While the following likely says more about me than the OP, if my (purely theoretical) SO wanted something related to my horse-life to change, he better be funding that change – whether w/ actual dollars or with appropriate emotional and physical labor.
That could mean a hiring a housekeeper, buying a Roomba, building a mudroom/laundry, cleaning the things that irritate him himself, paying me for my time to plan, design and execute the aforementioned, etc. My time and grey matter are worth every bit as much as his; he knew this from the start; and, I still, just like always, mostly want to ride my horse.
I’d like to think I will live long enough to see US women, especially those in CIS het relationships with men raised by Boy Moms™️, realize that we hardly ever are to blame for our partner’s unhappiness.
[End of rant]
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Now, that’s a successful relationship. 
Sadly the wheat succumbed to the drought. The farms are already feeding round bales in July 
we might try again next year 
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OMG my kiddo plays hockey and sometimes there is no getting rid of the absolutely horrific glove smell, in spite of showering and multiple hand washings.
Or even better, two large dogs. Make sure one of them has hair like a sheep (like a pyr mix or something similar that will really hold in the wet dog smell!).
I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist! I just loved your answer so much. You made me laugh!
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we have a Great Pyrenees who thinks nothing of stomping in the mud, run from barking point to barking point to defend her sidewalk from those intruders walking their dogs on, she can see them from a block away then run to other end of the house which is over 120 feet long to continue her barking at them, rain/mud nothing stops her Then she is sort is ashamed of herself covered in mud but asks come in.
Horse smells in the house we are used to as the kids when young often had their horses in the house, as youngest daughter said it was Too Hot Outside For Foxie so I brought in to watch TV, and there they were in the den watching Black Stallion
The miniature horses of our son when kept in the backyard always tested ti doors to see if they were actually closed, if not in they came running up and down the hall
These days, if given the chance the grand daughters will have their goats in the family room
and here are surrounded by million dollar houses, really starting to feel like the Beverly Hillbillies
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I have a Pyr mix, who loves it outside, rain, sleet, snow, mud, the stinkier and dirtier she can get the better. She comes in when it is just too hot, (under protest, but for her own good) or at night. I also have a Dane who believes he melts in the rain, but somehow still seems to get that wonderful doggy smell! (I don’t mind it, other members of the family have been known to complain!) Add in the cats, the chickens who knock on the front door, and now down to my two remaining equines, who still manage to deposit their telltale horsey smell on me.
I thank you for giving me a much needed chuckle today.
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Silicone Glove lotion applied before they put the gloves on.
married 23 years so I think successful - told hubby when we were first dating that if the horse didn’t like him it was over, he showed up at the barn with 10lbs of carrots. We did move to a farm, he’s not horsey but it gives him a big garage for his cars and he likes the distance from neighbours. I don’t get in his nice cars in my barn clothes, and my cats live in the barn as he’s allergic. He didn’t like horse hair on his clothes so we do have his and hers washing machines.
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Successful marriage is the art of compromise. (35 years a week tomorrow.)
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My SO and I have been together for going on 10 years. Very together, dedicated to each other etc. He doesn’t live with me. There are reasons. I have a house keeper in every two weeks to do basics to help keep me up, but short of running the vacuum around and trying to not pile too much… Too small, too many animals, too loud. I’m too busy outside mowing, dragging, spraying, seeding, watering, scrubbing, dumping, refilling, to really keep up with the house. He’s never complained about smell but even I can smell my barn shoes in the winter time and need to invest in some sort of barn shoe and coat system in the garage.
Even with all that, and legit allergies to grass and dogs (he says the grass is the worse of it and actually spoils the dogs), he has never called anything “gross.” You can’t necessarily walk in my house and go “ohhh…you have dogs” based on smell alone, but sometimes the young dog has a certain oh-door about him that I hoped neutering would fix and did not. They get professionally groomed every six-ish weeks and bathed as necessary.
Which actually does remind me, he did say Eli smelled “like shit” a while back at his house, and said he smelled bad, but I could smell no actual poo smell. Eventually discovered Eli smelled like Eli needing a bath and SO saw crusty brown stuff on his neck ruff and assumed he had rolled in poo, which Eli does not thank god, and it was actually dried senior horse feed soup from leaning in the buckets to lick the bottom. But men are visual, he smelled “bad” smell and saw brown stuff on the coat, so his brain said it had to be shit 
I already had horses and dogs when we started dating. Moving to my own farm was a change and getting busier was a change. But nothing else changed. It sounds like your SO isn’t handling this change well and acting like a grown-up is a struggle for him.
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Maybe one of those stainless steel “soap” things designed for fish and other stinky food smells?
stainless steel soap on amazon
Well said!
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My ex never complained about my barn time. Gave him the opportunity to online gamble and have affairs.
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@anon55755751 I browsed but I didn’t read through all the comments so if I’m not sure how much value I’ll add.
You relationship dynamic seems similar to mine. My SO and I come from two walks of life - he was more of a city kid, I grew up without electricity. He bought the farm before I met him, but together we have chipped away at small and large projects to make it home. We still don’t have photos on the walls.
We are both workaholics and have high functioning anxiety (yay childhood trauma). When I am very anxious, I collect or save animals and/or need to spend all my free time in the barn or under a pile of kittens. For him, when he is very anxious, clutter will send him into a spiral. I’ve learned to read him and most of the times, I know when he is stressed. I make extra efforts in those moments. Sometimes it’s just a couple days, sometimes it’s several months on end. If we are both anxious, obviously our anxiety works against each other. He’s pretty dense (said lovingly), so I’ve learned to talk even when I don’t want to. He will probably never notice my anxiety because that’s just who he is and if I expect him to, I will be disappointed. We talk. We make a plan. It’s not perfect, but we’re making it work. He’s learned to love a lived in home, I’ve learned to nurture it the same way I do our animals.
A few years ago, I bought the Lenox Portola set on sale. It took me 2 years to buy it, but I’m glad I finally did. It’s beautiful and timeless.
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