Have You Ever Been Questioned About Why You Want to Cap?

[SaddleFitterVA]

When I was in my mid-20s, I really wanted to foxhunt. I am interested in hunting to ride, not riding to hunt. I have no interest in car-following, or foot following.

I called the secretary of the nearest hunt, and asked if I could cap, this was early cubbing season.

Long story short…I ended up feeling like the uncool kid in the Jr. High cafeteria.

I gave up for years. Was invited by members of other hunts and did receive warm welcomes, but those other hunts were always a couple of hours away.

Local hunts, not interested in new members, and full of their own self importance.

Now, many years later, I have the money, the farm, the horses, could make the time if I wanted to, but that bad taste lingers on…despite several fun times as a guest.

And coming here, reading threads where landowners and hunt members are proud to be rude to interested newcomers…it makes me less interested.

[Hunter_s_Rest]

Landowners and hunt members ARE NOT PROUD TO BE RUDE to newcomers. They are protective of life and limb and property. Hunting takes part, solely, across private land. Not rude. The reply that prompted this discussion was curt, but I know that there is a bit of a personal situation out there, so, really, this chat would require a court of law and complete disclosure to ‘really’ understand it fully.
Still, though, I am sorry, Saddlefitter, that you were not welcomed with open arms. Foxhunters are not in the least bit standoffish or snotty, as a whole, any more than dressage riders, as a whole, are prissies or that jumper riders are gay or that western riders are rednecks.

[JSwan]

Excuse me, saddlefitter - but landowners are NOT proud to be rude. Actually, I’m offended by the sense of “entitlement” some of you have.

You don’t have the right to use other people’s land. It’s not yours. You don’t pay the taxes, you don’t pay the mortgage.

If you would like to recreate on someone else’s land, you ask permission, you mind your manners, and you make sure your guests do too. I don’t knock on your door and demand admittance, do I? And also bring “friends” and demand you make them a sammich? I open my land to sportsmen who carry loaded weapons - yes - I’m going to do my best to make sure they’re safe and responsible.

There is much more to the story than the OP revealed to you - but I am not interested in disclosing it or arguing over it.

Every other horse sport has rules to it. You can’t just show up at a dressage competition and demand to ride a Grand Prix test - and also demand that the show organizers provide you a horse and riding habit. In eventing, the number of unprepared riders and horses has caused a tremendous amount of concern, and steps are being taken to try and make sure the sport survives - and he horses and riders as well.

You’d not call those sports “snobby”, would you? Just for trying to establish criteria for moving up, qualifications, and safety committees? I certainly don’t. I also don’t call a landowner “snobby” for being generous. And they are generous.

Out hunting, you’ll find a group of people with ready smiles, plenty of spare tack, more than a little bit crazy - but all around welcoming and happy to see you. Same with the landowners - they’re happy to see you and glad to open their land. It doesn’t matter if you ride to hunt, or hunt to ride.

[altjaeger]

@JSwan;4504428

There is much more to the story than the OP revealed to you - but I am not interested in disclosing it or arguing over it.

What the devil are you talking about? I revealed everything, and I’m getting plenty tired of your insinuating posts. Earlier, you implied I was only revealing carefully edited parts of my emails back and forth with the master. Certainly not true, and how would you know that anyway? You’re just talking out of your ass – as usual.

[JSwan]

Nice, wanabe.

There are always two sides to a story.

I feel very sorry for anyone who encounters a less than hospitable welcome wherever they go. Be it at a dressage show, foxhunt, or any other activity. And I am sorry if you do not care for this hunt club.

But I, and many others have found this sport to be welcoming, inviting, and about as much fun as you can have with your clothes on. We’re not rich snobs, and we’re not elitist.

I resent it when people attempt to portray this sport in that light. I’m poor as a church mouse and I’ve never been turned away.

Happy Hunting.

[altjaeger]

I think I began this thread by saying that I was shocked by the response I received because everyone I had heretofore met in hunting had been so nice.

I’m not going to allow you to insinuate that there’s more going on than just what the two communications I had with that master show.

Happy Hunting to You Too.

[Nlevie]

I too do not understand the nastiness towards this OP. As a foxhunter, I am cringing everytime I read one of JSwan posts. . . guess I’m just ignorant as well ?

[HeyYouNags]

I’m a former hunt member, and JSwan’s posts remind me of why that’s former. :lol:

I don’t do heirarchy, chain of command, or caste systems very well. Respect and appreciation, I can do, as long as it’s deserved and not merely expected.

[Elghund2]

Today we had a young lady out as a guest. She was the friend of someone who hunts with us. She had called the Secretary to ask if she could hunt. No letters of introduction involved. It was her very first hunt.

Given this thread I though I’d be observant to how people interacted with her.

She came out and got introduced around. Right before we started out the Master made a point of introducing her to everyone. During the meet I saw her talking with the Secretary, Master and Huntsman.

When we checked up at the end of the last run I came up to speak with her and saw she had the “scars” from hunting - the thin little cuts on the cheeks from the tree branches. I asked her if she was having a good time and she was all grins.

I don’t know what happened when everyone went in as I was helping gather the hounds. By the time I got in most everyone else was gone.

It doesn’t take much to make someone feel welcome. I remember when I first started hunting, during the actual hunt I was concerned with doing things properly and not coming off my horse. I was lucky that people took an interest in how I was doing.

That’s not much to ask.

I would bet that we will see this young woman out again with us soon.

[Tantivy1]

[QUOTE=wanabe;4504612]
I’m not going to allow you to insinuate that there’s more going on than just what the two communications I had with that master show.[/QUOTE]

Sorry, but anyone with any street smarts can read behind the lines and get a pretty good picture of what is going on.

That JSwan, hmmmm…sure hit the nail on the head to my way of thinking.

And somebody hung themselves with their very own rope, mister.

[SaddleFitterVA]

I had to go reread my post, to find the entitlement. Ah wait, I did not say that the hunt members I’d met were rude.

reading threads where landowners and hunt members are proud to be rude to interested newcomers

reading threads - aka online, on the internet.

I did express how I was made to feel out hunting with that initial few tries at hunting.

I ended up feeling like the uncool kid in the Jr. High cafeteria.

Another friend of mine who hunts sometimes with a hunt felt that it was not an intentional rudeness, but rather the members were in such a hurry to catch up on gossip about other members that they didn’t think to attempt to include the newcomers.

I don’t usually frequent the Hunting section (reference the above post that outlined that the initial bad experiences killed the desire) but someone pointed out this thread as an example of why she gave up hunting.

I manage to answer requests from coworkers or acquaintances about coming to ride without being rude, or wait, abrupt/terse/curt if you prefer a more gentle synonym.

Happy Hunting to those of you in the clique. I’ll exit your forum, so no need to type out a long, sanctimonious reply about your taxes or the sense of entitlement attributed to other people.

[Tantivy1]

[QUOTE=HeyYouNags;4505557]
I don’t do heirarchy, chain of command, or caste systems very well. Respect and appreciation, I can do, as long as it’s deserved and not merely expected.[/QUOTE]

Respect and appreciation, hmmm, exactly what JSwan espouses…so what is your point?

wrong target maybe?

[HeyYouNags]

@Tantivy1;4505647

Respect and appreciation, hmmm, exactly what JSwan espouses…so what is your point?

You left off the part about it being deserved and not merely expected. Being a hunt master or staff member, even as a hard-working volunteer, doesn’t automatically command respect, at least in the part of 2009 I inhabit.

[see_u_at_x]

@Elghund2;4505623

Today we had a young lady out as a guest. She was the friend of someone who hunts with us. She had called the Secretary to ask if she could hunt. No letters of introduction involved. It was her very first hunt.

Elghund, I think the girl you may be talking about is a good friend of mine - was she on a big gray Irish sport horse?

I’d like to vouch for how welcome I felt when I went cubbing with JSawn’s hunt last year. It was hands down, the most fun I have ever had on horseback. The most important thing emphasized was SAFETY. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, made me feel welcome. I was on a borrowed horse from my barn owner (my two mares aren’t quite ready for hunting yet…hopefully next year), who was perfect, and I received many compliments on what a nice mare she is. The people who rode with me in the back (JSwan included), kept a watchful eye on me to make sure that we didn’t have any trouble since it was the first time cubbing for both me AND my horse.

My number one goal was to be as respectful and courteous to everyone as possible, because after all, it is THEIR hunt and I was GUEST. But you know what? They cared just as much about me and wanted to make sure that I had a good time and didn’t get hurt out there. The best part is that because things went well (I followed rules, my horse wasn’t a jerk, etc.), I’ll hopefully get to go capping with them again in the future.

[altjaeger]

[QUOTE=Tantivy1;4505634]
Sorry, but anyone with any street smarts can read behind the lines and get a pretty good picture of what is going on.

That JSwan, hmmmm…sure hit the nail on the head to my way of thinking.

And somebody hung themselves with their very own rope, mister.[/QUOTE]

What the heck are you talking about? :head scratching:

Aside from the poorly worded request, I’d like to know what you think is “going on”.

[Tantivy1]

What request?

[altjaeger]

My request to cap with that hunt. I accept that it was poorly worded, and won’t make THAT mistake again, but what are “you reading between the lines”?

[Tantivy1]

Exactly what JSwan artfully surmised.

[danceronice]

If people want to pick about a particular situation, they need to do it ALL in public or not make snide insinuations. EITHER SIDE.

The GENERAL CONSENSUS on a hypothetical situation: If you want to cap with a hunt, ask politely or risk looking like a jerk. If you get a request at your hunt, reply politely whether you think it warrants a polite reply or risk looking a jerk. Everybody just…be civil. Even when you don’t think the other person deserves it.

[altjaeger]

Okay, I think we have about thrashed this to death.

I’m not going to be visiting this thread anymore. Thanks to all who offered sympathic words and/or constructive criticism.