He's MINE, not yours!

[OveroHunter]

I’ve never half leased, but I did a three year full lease offsite where I always called the horse mine. We made all decisions on her behalf, paid all bills, and were able to keep her at any barn we wished under any trainer. Her owner was just happy to have her off her feed bill…

Now, I have full leased two of my horses in the past (with much more strict rules than the lease I had as a teen) and I’m sure they called the horse theirs… The only thing that mildly irritated me is when they changed my horse’s barn name. Like, until you own Dobbins, his name will be Dobbins, dang it!

[CaitlinandTheBay]

I’ve never had a lease situation but I did once have a BM that referred to my boy as “hers”. That bothered me a bit, but in the end I just took it as a compliment. I love that other people fall in love with my guy too; it confirms what I already know- I won the horsey lottery with him.

[californianinkansas]

The leasee referring to the horse as “hers” on FaceBook is a boundary issue. The leasee referring to the horse as “hers” in front of the horse’s legal owner is also a boundary issue. I would nip that in the bud right quick, but as long as the legal owner is okay with it, then whateves.

[Synthesis]

Here’s the problem I see, when you are a part-boarder who refers to the horse as ‘my horse’ you are setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration. Why? Because you may love/cherish/adore/heart the horse but its still NOT YOUR HORSE. At the end of the day, the big decisions are not yours to make.

You may be fortunate to be able to have input but that is the outside limit. Who else rides the horse, how they ride, how hard they ride (or don’t) is not your call. When you take on the sense of ownership it becomes very easy to overstep one’s bounds. It also becomes harder to walk away from a poor match. The younger you are, the easier it is to make this mistake.

Love them, treat them, ride them and school them to the best of your skill but never forget … not your horse. Forgetting this has been at the heart of almost every part-board I’ve seen that has gone bad.

[Against_All_Odds1]

I’d have no problem with it as an owner.

[Justmyluck]

[QUOTE=OveroHunter;7909640]
I’ve never half leased, but I did a three year full lease offsite where I always called the horse mine. We made all decisions on her behalf, paid all bills, and were able to keep her at any barn we wished under any trainer. Her owner was just happy to have her off her feed bill…

Now, I have full leased two of my horses in the past (with much more strict rules than the lease I had as a teen) and I’m sure they called the horse theirs… The only thing that mildly irritated me is when they changed my horse’s barn name. Like, until you own Dobbins, his name will be Dobbins, dang it![/QUOTE]

Now the name change thing would really irritate me. How confusing to the horse.

[Doberpei]

For years I part leased my horse to a girl at my barn. When she graduated from college, her dad no longer paid for the lease, but I still gave her access to the horse. The horse adored her so much I knew he would miss her.

She always referred to him as her horse (she also changed his show name, which I found odd at first, but she was a teenager, and we certainly weren’t showing USEF). She’s now 31, has her own horse, and and still refers to my horse as her boy, and comes to visit him periodically (he’s also 31 and very retired). I still call her his other mother.

[Ceylon_Star]

I own my pony. But his main rider loves him like her own and he loves her back. The joke is that when he’s naughty he’s hers and when he’s good he’s mine. I call her his “Mama M” and I am “Daddy CS”. If M was actually claiming to own him I would have a problem, but I know she isn’t like that and it makes me happy that they have such a close relationship that she feels like he’s somewhat hers. And he will be somewhat hers as long as she wants to be with us because she is more wonderful than words <3

[ElisLove]

[QUOTE=Synthesis;7909930]
Here’s the problem I see, when you are a part-boarder who refers to the horse as ‘my horse’ you are setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration. Why? Because you may love/cherish/adore/heart the horse but its still NOT YOUR HORSE. At the end of the day, the big decisions are not yours to make.

You may be fortunate to be able to have input but that is the outside limit. Who else rides the horse, how they ride, how hard they ride (or don’t) is not your call. When you take on the sense of ownership it becomes very easy to overstep one’s bounds. It also becomes harder to walk away from a poor match. The younger you are, the easier it is to make this mistake.

Love them, treat them, ride them and school them to the best of your skill but never forget … not your horse. Forgetting this has been at the heart of almost every part-board I’ve seen that has gone bad.[/QUOTE]

Though I have never leased a horse myself I know many people that have and they KNOW they do not own the horse, they won’t own the horse, and never will own the horse and that it can be pulled out from under them at any time. They still often refer to the horse as ‘my horse’ because it’s easy and just, i dunno, a normal thing to do.

[Somantu]

[QUOTE=Ceylon Star;7910177]
…I call her his “Mama M” and I am “Daddy CS”. If M was actually claiming to own him I would have a problem, but I know she isn’t like that and it makes me happy that they have such a close relationship that she feels like he’s somewhat hers. And he will be somewhat hers as long as she wants to be with us because she is more wonderful than words <3[/QUOTE]

That’s how I feel about my part-boarder.
Except I’m Mama and she’s Auntie to our gelding.

[SillyHorse]

Here’s the thing, though. The OP, the person who is complaining about this, is NOT the horse’s owner. I don’t know what her beef really is, but she’s getting her knickers in a twist over something that is in no way her business.

[gumshoe]

Shouldn’t we all be so lucky. Lucky enough to have a horse that someone else treats as her “own”. That’s love.

[anon67067638]

deleted

[vxf111]

I frankly think it’s sweet, the person leasing the horse loves him enough that the horse is “her boy.” Doesn’t mean she’s staked an ownership claim.

Pittsburgh is MY TOWN but that doesn’t mean I own it. The Steelers are my team… but I don’t own them either, etc.

[twelvebelles]

I did a half lease of a horse for a year and referred to him as “my lease horse” when I needed to identify him. Because that’s what he was!

[stolen_virtue]

No horse, or child for that matter, has ever been harmed by having too much love from too many people.

One day a horse at the barn was put into the pasture, he did not look happy, he just stood there at feeding time. I mentioned it to the barn owner. The BO told me I was the tenth person to tell him this. I said ,“Well, they are all mine and several other boarders…” He laughed and said he was glad he had boarders that cared so much about all of the horses at the barn.

[Halt_Near_X]

[QUOTE=Faye;7909493]
I never think twice about calling my lease horse “my boy” until I read this post, and now I’m a bit paranoid about this. Dear lord, calling him “my boy” is irritating to others? [/QUOTE]

Yes but… who cares? Unless you’re going to worry about every railbirdy-type opinion someone has, this isn’t something to be even a little bit paranoid about.

The majority of people clearly put this in the “it’s awesome, actually” category. If a few of us are overly sensitive, that’s really our problem to deal with.

Or to put it another way: just because some of us have some baby drama llamas doesn’t mean you have to feed them.

Do your thing. Have fun with the horse–your horse, if you like.

[Equitational]

Compare leasing a horse versus leasing a house or car. You still call it “home”, “your house” or “my car”. Even though someone else actually holds true title to said possession. A lease is to convey title to someone else for pay for a set period of time. I don’t have problem with a tenant calling my house “their” house or home. As long as the girl (leasee) knows and understands the horse is only “hers” for a period time, I don’t think there’s anything wrong. I would think it shows pride of ownership by claiming title as your own.

[twobits]

Wow, what a response!

To everyone who is jumping down my throat - please realize this I posted this thread as a point for discussion. No, this is not the biggest, world ending issue in my life that I am obsessing over on a daily basis as some of you assumed. It was a point of discussion I thought would be interesting to bring to the table as I flipped through the coth pages. This is a place for discussion, and should it really have bothered me that much, I don’t think talking to a bunch of anonymous strangers about it would be my first choice.
But, just to clarify for those who are so utterly concerned with me ruining the lease for my friend:
Do I find it irritating? Yes. Am I going to bring it up to my friend if she finds no issue with it? Of course not. and because it is not a life threatening matter, and my friend and I seem to differ in opinions/perspectives, I figured, hey, wonder what the general opinion on this is!

I think it is very nice to see that so many owners are willing to fully share their horses with their leasees. Not all owners are quite so generous!

Side note, though I don’t think it would change many of the opinions shared: there is a monthly fee which covers three rides a week. The leasee is not responsible for any bills outside of this fee with the exception of optional lessons and show fees should she decide to show in the summer. farrier, vet, board, supplements, etc. is all provided by the owner.

[Lace]

I find it interesting that owners would be bothered by it. Does the horse become less “yours” when someone else calls it “my horse”? I don’t know, seems a little… insecure. I’ve been on both sides of these arrangements, and as current half-leaser I can assure that I treat the horse no differently than if he were my own. So no, I did not pay his purchase price, but I love him as much as I would if I did.

Of course, if the owner ever did have issues with me using the phrase “my horse”, I would expect them to find me and have a polite, grown up conversation about it, to which I would respectfully heed to their wishes.