I am finding it interesting so many people are okay with it! I have leased from many different individuals, and three of the five had issues with the “my horse” phrase! I didn’t use it in pictures or public posts, just in person using “my boy” would get me in trouble! The owner expressed that unless I was paying for all of the horse’s expenses then I am not to be using such pronouns. so I changed my phrases from “my boy” to “my favourite boy” because she can’t take away the fact that he was at the time my favourite even if he wasn’t mine.
I think my previous experience with getting in trouble for using such phrases is why I pick up on it now!
[QUOTE=twobits;7910627]
I think my previous experience with getting in trouble for using such phrases is why I pick up on it now![/QUOTE]
That makes a lot of sense. I have never had someone draw attention to it, which is probably why I’ve never even considered it!
People at my barn who lease, especially long term, refer to the horse has theirs. What else would they call it? It’s their horse to care for and ride.
I would say some of you need to find better people to lease from. Some of us love for our lease people to love and claim their lease horses. I would love to have my OTTB with someone who claimed him as their own…
Will also note when I was driving Standardbreds mornings at the tracks, the owners always called the usual ones I drove as ‘your’ horse. No problems anywhere. Just good experiences for us all. 
[QUOTE=twobits;7910627]
I am finding it interesting so many people are okay with it! I have leased from many different individuals, and three of the five had issues with the “my horse” phrase! I didn’t use it in pictures or public posts, just in person using “my boy” would get me in trouble! The owner expressed that unless I was paying for all of the horse’s expenses then I am not to be using such pronouns. so I changed my phrases from “my boy” to “my favourite boy” because she can’t take away the fact that he was at the time my favourite even if he wasn’t mine.
I think my previous experience with getting in trouble for using such phrases is why I pick up on it now![/QUOTE]
So you getting lectured explains a lot. I am guessing you are younger? Not a bad thing btw. I’m sorry an owner chastised a young person for this, excluding making it clear they are the owner for any critical decisions, etc. I suppose there are done leasees that need lines drawn hard in the sand, but generally this is immature of
An owner to get on someone about, especially a kid.
OP, take a look at the responses and note the people who enjoy that their horse is so beloved by his extended " family ". It’s a wonderful thing to have someone love an animal so much. Assuming no I’ll choices are bring made regarding the safety of the horse, relax.
When I was a teen, a BNT leased me my first horse, which I leased for years. To this day, she still refers to her as “my” girl in reference to me. As an owner, I love to pay that opportunity forward.
[QUOTE=twobits;7910627]
I am finding it interesting so many people are okay with it! I have leased from many different individuals, and three of the five had issues with the “my horse” phrase! I didn’t use it in pictures or public posts, just in person using “my boy” would get me in trouble! The owner expressed that unless I was paying for all of the horse’s expenses then I am not to be using such pronouns. so I changed my phrases from “my boy” to “my favourite boy” because she can’t take away the fact that he was at the time my favourite even if he wasn’t mine.
I think my previous experience with getting in trouble for using such phrases is why I pick up on it now![/QUOTE]
So you getting lectured explains a lot. I am guessing you are younger? Not a bad thing btw. I’m sorry an owner chastised a young person for this, excluding making it clear they are the owner for any critical decisions, etc. I suppose there are some leasees that need lines drawn hard in the sand, but generally this is immature of
An owner to get on someone about, especially a kid.
OP, take a look at the responses and note the people who enjoy that their horse is so beloved by his extended " family ". It’s a wonderful thing to have someone love an animal so much. Assuming no dangerous choices are bring made regarding the safety of the horse, relax.
When I was a teen, a BNT leased me my first horse, which I leased for years. To this day, she still refers to the horse as “my” girl in reference to me. As an owner, I love to pay that opportunity forward. Also, on FB, some of my friends will tag pictures of my daughter, one of my dogs, one of my ponies and caption it “my girl/boy/pony/”. It is honestly a term of endearment. It makes me warm and fuzzy when I see other people think as fondly of “my” pets and family as I do (after all, they clearly have great taste).
If that’s the worst problem friend has with this lease? It’s all good. Getting upset over something like this on Facebhok is a real waste if time and effort unless kid starts proclaiming she birthed it and trained it from scratch. Even then, it’s FB.
When I leased my first Hunter and first horse I had ever leased (as an older adult), gal in Hunt colors at a show standing with me at the gate between rounds asked me “How’s your horse going for you today?” I replied he was not mine but leased, she replied “Just making polite conversation, just answer without details nobody really cares about”.
It did not come off as rude at all, merely some coaching as to the appropriate etiquette involved. From then on, if asked directly, Id say it was leased. But if just asked how my horse was doing that day, I just answered " He feels lovely" or maybe “he’s a bit full of himself but we have 4 rounds coming up so its all good, thank you”.
[QUOTE=Pennywell Bay;7910718]
So you getting lectured explains a lot. I am guessing you are younger? [/QUOTE]
I am currently in my late twenties. The experiences I’ve had with owners being upset with me for using the “my” phrase have happened from when I was a young teenager leasing from an adult to just a few years ago, being a young adult leasing from another adult.
Again, this is not a life or death situation that keeps me up at night, it was merely a point for conversation as it is evident I have had some out of the norm experiences with my leasers!
It would bother me. I wouldn’t necessarily end the lease, or even say anything to the leasee, but it would bother me.
Probably one of the reasons I don’t lease my horses out, currently.
And honestly, I know a girl who is half leasing a horse from an absentee boarder and she is always calling that horse “my horse”. Except… I don’t in any way think she is taking responsibility for the horse the way an owner would. So that rubs me the wrong way, and I’m generalizing to all people who lease. (I know, I know, that’s not fair.)
To me, it seems like a half-leasee is a little delusional, like they’re trying to convince themselves they own the horse when they say things on facebook like “I love my horse!!”.
There is nothing wrong with leasing, there is no shame at all, but they simply are not the owner.
I would feel differently with a full lease, or an off-site lease. Then I have no problem with “my horse”. Or when the leasee is actually sitting on the horse. But when the owner is still right there, involved? Not your horse, and seems like you’re living in a pretend fantasy world.
And if I was ever a foster parent, I probably wouldn’t call those children “my children” either. Unless there was an explicit conversation giving me permission (from the children, or the family, etc) to do so.
I’m okay with my unpopular opinion. I know I have control issues.
The same person has been leasing my horse for the last four years. She pays all his bills and takes care of him as her own. She can call him “my horse” as many times as she wants if it makes her happy. I’m thrilled he’s well cared for and I don’t have to worry. When she takes him to shows I’m still the one listed as the owner.
I half-leased my mare last year to a kid, and she always rode the same days each week. When she was gone on vacation, I rode on a usual “off” day for me, and one of the lesson kids saw me tacking up my horse. She patted my horse on the shoulder and said, “Oh, you’re so lucky you get to ride Kid’s Name’s horse!”
Got a good giggle out of it 
I half-leased a horse for 2 years and never once tried to convince anyone, including myself, that I owned my own horse. When I bought him a leather halter with a nameplate on it that included the show name I gave to him (he didn’t have one before), it clearly said: Rider: Rugbug. the namplates on the horse’s I’ve owned all say Owner: Rugbug…as do their stallplates. Lease horse did not get a stallplate.
I will also say that while I very much loved this horse, took care of him like my own, spent WAY more money on him that was necessary, drove to the barn to check on him WAY more than required/necessary, I never once, not even a little bit, wanted to own him. I appreciated him every day, but I never wanted to make him mine, even when the opportunity was available. When the lease ended, there were tears and sadness but no delusions.
For you to say that half leasers are delusion is a ridiculous.
FWIW: when the 7 year old at the barn tells people that my horses are hers, I find it amusing. I even had a child from her school come find my horse and tell me he was the 7 year olds. That cracked me up. (And because the child is 7, it also led to a conversation on being truthful…but it wasn’t because I felt threatened or thought she was delusional… I only think she’s delusional when she says she’s going to buy them for $6. 
)
I get the impression you may not really like this person that is half leasing the horse.
I leased one of my horses for many years and was happy when someone loved him as I did. I also recently looked at a lovely horse that I thought about buying, saw him at a clinic and said “there is my boy”…
There is a good lesson here however;
In life there will be many people that irritate you and you were simply expressing your thought here on COTH (I understand). I would unFollow her on Facebook and just distance yourself. Learn to focus on things that make you happy. I am older and learning that is more important than letting things that bother you be a focus in your life.
Main thing is the person leasing the animal loves and cares for it as if he/she was the sole owner and the checks are on time and good!
My dream horse was leased out this past year b/c I was on the injured list…just got him back recently (as in he’s “all mine” now - no one else riding him, etc.). The lease was a gift in many ways and while the leasee never referred to him as “hers,” she didn’t care for him like he was “hers” either…or my equipment. She could have called him “hers” all day long for all I cared had she actually taken care of him & his tack more appropriately. That my horse & my equipment were never kept up as they should have been…THAT pissed me off.
You can call a dog’s tail a leg all you want, but at the end of the day, the dog only has 4 legs, not 5. My guess is that this might be your horse that’s leased out and that’s why you take exception. Haven’t read this whole thing…so I might be wrong…but I’m probably not gonna read this whole thread, so I’ll just take my chances at being wrong. Either way, let it go, life’s too short.
I definitely see both sides of this. My horses are currently both leased out (full leases), and while I’m grateful and love that someone else loves my horses enough to call them theirs, it does bother me to read it (like the OP, this is on Facebook). BUT, I wasn’t entirely thrilled with the idea of leasing out my horses anyway, so I’m sure that plays a huge role in how I feel about it.
Then again, when I was younger, the horse I rode the most was referred to as my horse by the actual owner (thereby once confusing my parents quite a lot!). And if my previous barn owner ever referred to my horses as hers, that didn’t bother me, either. So I get it from that end, too.
I think that you have to just figure out how to ignore it… which is sometimes easier said than done.
RugBug kind of answered this for me a bit, but I would still like to hear others’ thoughts:
If you are leasing a horse (especially an absentee owner/full lease situation), what do you put on a stall plate or halter plate? For my horses, I sent halters with nameplates that read: “Horse’s Name, Loved by Leasee”.
[QUOTE=twobits;7910627]
I am finding it interesting so many people are okay with it! I have leased from many different individuals, and three of the five had issues with the “my horse” phrase! I didn’t use it in pictures or public posts, just in person using “my boy” would get me in trouble! The owner expressed that unless I was paying for all of the horse’s expenses then I am not to be using such pronouns. so I changed my phrases from “my boy” to “my favourite boy” because she can’t take away the fact that he was at the time my favourite even if he wasn’t mine.
I think my previous experience with getting in trouble for using such phrases is why I pick up on it now![/QUOTE]
That really is too bad. I often send photos of my horse to my part boarders when she’s in a training ride or something with the caption “our girl is killing it today” or some such phrase. Why anyone would scold someone for caring too much for their horse is beyond me!
[QUOTE=Justmyluck;7910062]
Now the name change thing would really irritate me. How confusing to the horse.[/QUOTE]
I call him by like 5 different nicknames depending on my mood and his attitude, so I’m not sure he even noticed the difference. What really ticked me off was when I went to go pick him up after the lease and said I was here to pick up so and so, the BM was like “we don’t have a horse by that name here.”
I had to look around the entire farm (leasee was not there) and point out to the BM who my horse was. He was like “Oh, that’s Mac.”
NO, THAT IS NOT MAC! He has never been Mac, he will never be Mac, I call him Boogar Face most of the time… Hell, he probably preferred Mac…
My first impression was that she was jealous of the 1/2 leaser. Perhaps she would rather the friend have to ask her to ride this nice horse for free?
I simply can’t come up with any other reason that someone would be bothered by something so completely unrelated to themselves.
