He's MINE, not yours!

[Ambitious_Kate]

[QUOTE=AmmyByNature;7913292]
My first impression was that she was jealous of the 1/2 leaser. Perhaps she would rather the friend have to ask her to ride this nice horse for free?

I simply can’t come up with any other reason that someone would be bothered by something so completely unrelated to themselves.[/QUOTE]

Frankly, that’s the only thing I could come up with, myself. I mean, who lets this kind of thing into their brain that deeply? When you are unrelated to the issue? If I was leasing a horse and the OWNER corrected me if they overheard me say “What is my big old handsome sampson doing now?” while I groomed him and he was tossing his head in delight or something, I would be mildly irritated, like, get a grip, chick, I’m just bonding here, its not a property claim action. But for an unrelated passerby to be this psychically involved in the lease is getting really tiresome.

My response to the OP: Get a grip and give it up.

[SendenHorse]

I formally leased 8 horses, never called them “my horse”, ever.

But whatever, I guess. To each their own.

If the lease was otherwise excellent I would overlook this. Weird, yes, but it might be nothing in the end. Just a phrase.

In this day and age getting someone to lease a horse is a miracle. I was going to say “minor miracle” but then, no it really is a miracle. No one is leasing much.

[bornfreenowexpensive]

Perhaps some of this depends on where you are located.

Someone saying My girl or My boy or even My horse …where I am from that could just be a statement of caring/endearment…that the speaker is emoting how much the horse means to them. People from other parts of the country clearly view it as more possessive and control.

There is not a right answer. But it is really the context and and an issue between the owner and leasee.

[MuskokaLakesConnemaras]

I have 4 out on leases… they are all very loved by their leasees and I couldn’t care less if they call them “mine”. I just feel lucky to have found great situations for them where they are loved so deeply

[comingback]

Personally, I half lease, and make a conscience effert to refrain from calling him “my” horse. Instead, I use his name in conversation. I half lease because I cannot afford to own. As such, I feel like it’s a bit disrespectful to claim or refer to him as my own when I don’t have the full financial and decision making responsibilities.

Just my opinion. I have a feeling it’s not going to be a popular one.

Now, that being said, if someone says, “I love your horse.” or “Your horse went so well.” I say thank you and move on. It’s similar to when someone asks how you are doing. They are most likely making polite conversation and don’t need to hear the ins and outs of your lease agreement.

[DNB]

[QUOTE=SendenHorse;7913330]
In this day and age getting someone to lease a horse is a miracle. I was going to say “minor miracle” but then, no it really is a miracle. No one is leasing much.[/QUOTE]

I have to disagree with this. I see many more people leasing instead of buying these days. It is easy to quickly “outgrow” a horse whether it be literal height of the rider outgrowing, the kid wants to move up to a new jump height that they can’t do with the current horse, or the horse they are currently leasing isn’t keen on doing the more advanced flatwork that the rider has progressed enough to be doing, etc. Harder to buy a horse then turn around and sell it the next year when you’ve outgrown them. At least that’s how it is where I am. The big junior riders on the circuit almost always lease as well.

But on the original topic, I have only full leased and paid for everything. Have called them “my horse,” but always tag the owner in cute pictures and send them stuff. Their name is also on the entry forms at shows. If people ask I say that I am very lucky and fortunate enough to be leasing them from insert person here. Never had a problem. In fact, the owners have told me that they are so happy and lucky to have had someone love and care for the horse as much as they do.

[RugBug]

@DNB;7913994

I have to disagree with this. I see many more people leasing instead of buying these days. It is easy to quickly “outgrow” a horse whether it be literal height of the rider outgrowing, the kid wants to move up to a new jump height that they can’t do with the current horse, or the horse they are currently leasing isn’t keen on doing the more advanced flatwork that the rider has progressed enough to be doing, etc. Harder to buy a horse then turn around and sell it the next year when you’ve outgrown them. At least that’s how it is where I am. The big junior riders on the circuit almost always lease as well.

It depends on what type of lease you are looking for. On-site leases can be difficult to find. It can also be difficult to find a quality lease: someone who will take care of your horse and your tack and will come out when they are supposed to. Plenty of people want to ride when it’s sunny and warm, but come winter and they disappear and horse is left with no care.

[DNB]

[QUOTE=RugBug;7914032]
It depends on what type of lease you are looking for. On-site leases can be difficult to find. It can also be difficult to find a quality lease: someone who will take care of your horse and your tack and will come out when they are supposed to. Plenty of people want to ride when it’s sunny and warm, but come winter and they disappear and horse is left with no care.[/QUOTE]

I can definitely understand if it’s an on-site lease we are talking about it being difficult to find! I was assuming she was talking about off-site leases, which I see plenty off-site, full leases happening in my zone (3) on the circuit.

[owlbynite]

Sounds like you unfortunately had the wrong client.

[QUOTE=Finzean;7912774]
My dream horse was leased out this past year b/c I was on the injured list…just got him back recently (as in he’s “all mine” now - no one else riding him, etc.). The lease was a gift in many ways and while the leasee never referred to him as “hers,” she didn’t care for him like he was “hers” either…or my equipment. She could have called him “hers” all day long for all I cared had she actually taken care of him & his tack more appropriately. That my horse & my equipment were never kept up as they should have been…THAT pissed me off.

You can call a dog’s tail a leg all you want, but at the end of the day, the dog only has 4 legs, not 5. My guess is that this might be your horse that’s leased out and that’s why you take exception. Haven’t read this whole thing…so I might be wrong…but I’m probably not gonna read this whole thread, so I’ll just take my chances at being wrong. Either way, let it go, life’s too short.[/QUOTE]

[enjoytheride]

I called my mare “my mare” which was easier than “the horse I free lease from her breeder.” Everyone knew she wasnt mine technically and i told anyone who asked for more info, but i cried for days when a freak case of cancer took her two months ago.

[arapaloosa_lady]

Semantics aren’t worth this much angst, IMO. Take a moment, and consider whether it’s really worth feeling this offended by something so innocuous.

When I was a kid, I definitely called the horse I leased “mine.” Her owner loved the fact that I took such great care of the horse and thought it was sweet that I considered the horse “mine.” Heck, before I leased, I called my favorite lesson horse “mine.” It was just an expression of endearment.

[Horse_with_No_Name]

[QUOTE=rhymeswithfizz;7908833]
I see it as a term of the partnership between horse and human, not possession.

I call my daughter’s leased pony “her pony” – as does everyone who meets him. When other adults speak to her, knowing full well that we do not own the pony, they say “How is your pony doing?”

Whenever I have leased out my horses, I have referred to them as “our boy” when speaking to the lessee.

When I have borrowed horses at the hunt, people would ask “How was your horse today?”, also knowing that this was not my horse, but indicative of the partnership we had, even for just that day.

However, if I had a horse at a sale barn, say, it would be very odd if the professional started calling my horse “hers”.[/QUOTE]

The HwNN horse is out on long term/forever lease. He is in a great place, is loved and well looked after by the lady leasing him. I try to make sure that whenever I refer to him that I do not say “my horse”, I always refer to him by his name or as “our boy”.

[Midge]

From the opposite end, I free leased my horse to a friend and when we talked, I would ask, ‘So, how is your horse?’

[JustTheTicket]

[QUOTE=OnDeck;7908718]
I called all of my leased horses “mine”. I call the project horse that I ride (that I do not lease or own) “mine”. I would never tell anyone that I own them if they were to ask. I just call them mine casually because 1. “the horse that I lease” is a mouthful and just a pain, and 2. the situation with the last horse is kind of tricky, and I don’t want to talk specifics with everyone. I’m not hiding anything, I just don’t want or need to explain how I found a free ride to everyone I meet. If anyone were to ask specifics, I would obviously tell them that I do not own him.

I don’t know what the leasee in question would call the horse. “The horse that I half lease” err that’s a mouthful and can lead to questions, “The horse that I ride” isn’t quite right either… “mine” is just so much easier, if not entirely accurate. As long as she’s not claiming to own the horse (which I really don’t think she is by casually saying “mine”), I don’t see a problem.[/QUOTE]

That’s what I did when I had project horses when I was a working student. And then if people said “wow! You bought a horse?” then I’d clarify. Obviously I knew the horses weren’t mine, but its just easier to say “mine” than the whole mouthful of whatever the actual label is, especially to non-horse people.

I would also say that the horses I took care of were “mine” in pics on FB or whatever, and of course, they weren’t. They were just mine to take care of. It was never an issue with any trainers or owners I worked with.

[allintexas]

Wouldn’t have a problem with it, honestly. Nice for people to treat a lease horse as if it was there own.

[Emily_amp_Jake]

I catch myself saying “my horse” when talking about my former gelding and I no longer own him - and haven’t for almost 2 months? now.

I think leasee’s saying “my horse” is easier to say than “the horse I’m leasing”, although one certainly could say “my lease horse”, etc. I don’t think it’s as huge of a deal as many make it out to be. If they were claiming to falsely own the horse, etc. then yeah, that’d be annoying.

[anon67067638]

deleted

[Sunflower]

Semantics. I agree, as posted above. What is the difference between this turn of phrase and say, asking, “how late are you open?” to someone who works somewhere ( library, coffee shop, doctor’s office, whatever). It is not literally meant that the worker is or owns the facility ( though they might…). It is just a turn of phrase.

[LouBeans]

If the horse is not mine and I don’t have any part in the lease, then no, doesn’t bother me, especially if the horse is being well cared for. However, if it is my horse, I would be (and have been) very bothered by it.
Never officially leased my boy out, but there have been two occasions where other individuals have called him “my horse”. One was a young kid (13/14) who had never even touched him before, just watched me ride him all the time, and got it in her head that she was absolutely buying him and it was only a matter of time before I gave in. Every time I would see her she would greet me by saying “How’s my future horse today?” or “There’s my future horse!” if I had him with me. It was kind of cute at first, but when I realized she was dead serious I politely yet firmly told her he was not nor would be for sale. She found another horse to fawn over after that.
The other occasion was an older adult who occasionally rode and took wonderful care of him while I was away for a few months, and was calling him “hers” and I actually had no issue with it, was quite pleased with everything. Until I came back for a visit. She then informed me that she decided to change his name, and had all of her friends in the barn calling him by this new name. And I don’t mean from one-little-personal-pet-nickname to another, I mean his actual name. I was not happy… I told her so, and her response was to flounce, walk away from me, turn back around and sneer “He prefers to be called by his new name!” Then continues flouncing away. Luckily for me I was moving the next month and he was coming with me anyway.

So I guess if I were you in this situation, I wouldn’t be bothered. If the horse were actually mine, I would in all honesty find it annoying, but the horse does sound very much loved and well cared for.

[Finzean]

[QUOTE=owlbynite;7914443]
Sounds like you unfortunately had the wrong client. [/QUOTE]

Wasn’t my client…wasn’t forever and he’s not leased out anymore. Sometimes circumstances require us to lease our horses out. Could have been MUCH worse…there are many threads on COTH where a horse is leased out (free, fee, and otherwise) and is returned (or “repossessed”) in horrible, horrible condition. While maybe rain rot and dirty tack/equip isn’t that big of a deal, the fact that the girl with my horse was just lazy is what sucked.