[QUOTE=foursocks;7908694]
If it isn’t your horse, and the owner doesn’t care, why do you care?
I will ask again: if it isn’t your horse, why do you care?
There are no rules about this, what is appropriate is whatever is worked out between the owner and lessee. One more time: since it isn’t your horse and the owner doesn’t care, why do you?[/QUOTE]
I’m the 83rd person to like this post.
[QUOTE=CHT;7908716]
People call my lesson horses “their” horses on Facebook and around the farm. I like it. I like that they care about my horses in that way. I like that they buy them saddle pads they think they would look cute in, or new halters.[/QUOTE]
YES, exactly.
Of note: You can hear GM talking to someone before the first flat work section begins. He very clearly asks how “my horse” is doing and requests that said person give it a pat for him. Last I heard, the only horse he owned was a retired Appy who lived in NC. That was several years ago. Seems unlikely that he would be speaking about the same horse (though I suppose not impossible).
I call the barn dog “my boy”. I don’t buy his dog food or pay his vet bills, but I do sit on the tack room floor and cuddle with him. It’s an expression of endearment rather than a claim to ownership.
As a groom, I often referred to the horses in my care as “mine”. It was easier than finding another way to describe them. Biggest example: We unfortunately got stuck in the infamous Tent 7 in Ocala two years ago when it was put into quarantine. The girl who had her horses on the backside of our horses had no respect for the quarantine rules, and when I caught her feeding our horses carrots through the stall bars, I said to her “Please don’t feed my horses anything.” To which she responded, “well they aren’t YOUR horses, you don’t own them!” Maybe not, but I was the one taking care of them and responsible for them, and it was easier to call them “mine”, especially in that situation.
I lease my older boy to a lady whose life circumstances will not allow her to own. Perhaps because it is a free lease of a not particularly fancy horse, I don’t care when she calls him “my boy” or “my baby”. We all know who owns him, and I am just happy to be able to help her live her horse dream. My boy doesn’t suffer from it, rather he is coddled and fussed over and I think secretly enjoys it.
so she leased your horse but wasn’t your client?
[QUOTE=Finzean;7928336]
Wasn’t my client…wasn’t forever and he’s not leased out anymore. Sometimes circumstances require us to lease our horses out. Could have been MUCH worse…there are many threads on COTH where a horse is leased out (free, fee, and otherwise) and is returned (or “repossessed”) in horrible, horrible condition. While maybe rain rot and dirty tack/equip isn’t that big of a deal, the fact that the girl with my horse was just lazy is what sucked.[/QUOTE]
I’m delighted to have both of my horses on partial leases. I routinely refer to my thoroughbred’s long term leaser as her “other mother”. This would never, ever bother me. I hope your distaste for your barnmate’s choice of verbiage doesn’t tarnish your visits to the barn too badly- that would be unfortunate to waste energy being unhappy about something so silly.
deleted
[QUOTE=SweetIndulgence;7951434]
my friend half free leases a horse and at school she says my horse, and claims she owns him!!! unfortunately we have rules at my barn prohibiting drama and I’m worried if i say something nicely like he’s not yours! you don’t own him id get in trouble. I’m sighs fine if people say my horse on there full lease but not on half but if they claim to own the horse even for a full lease… I’m gonna lose it[/QUOTE]
Unfortunately your barn has a no drama rule :eek::eek::eek:
How about darn good thing your barn has a no drama rule. Seriously read the rest of this thread. Adults do not care.
[QUOTE=owlbynite;7950996]
so she leased your horse but wasn’t your client?
[/QUOTE]
Why would you think that the person leasing her horse would be a “client”?
[QUOTE=Janet;7951473]
Why would you think that the person leasing her horse would be a “client”?[/QUOTE]
Exactly. ??? I don’t understand. My trainer has clients - I am one of them. Several of her clients lease horses owned by other people; those clients have never been referred to as clients of the horse’s owner. When I leased a horse from my trainer, the horse’s owner did not consider me to be her client.
Perhaps you should be thrilled she loves him enough to call him this, OP. And allowing her this indulgence will perhaps, in a way, further her taking better care of him, treating him better, continue half-boarding him (so you don’t have to go find someone else) due to the attachment. It is juvenile, I agree, but youth is prone to such thinkings. Try on looking at it from the this side for just a bit.
As a rider who takes lessons only, with the occasional co-board when the right lesson horse comes along…this definitely is something I do.
They are “mine” while I use them, but when someone asks me about my horse, I immediately say that I do not own them, but they are owned by the lesson barn where I ride. Quite frequently, there will be quotations around “my” or “mine” when pictures are posted to Facebook.
My coaches do not have a problem with it.
Our pony is half leased to a girl who calls her “my pony,” and the pony’s former owner is still in the barn with a move-up horse and she calls the pony “my pony.” Our kids both ride her as well, along with some random pony riders here and there.
All told, that lucky pony has about 5 kids and three families that refer to her “theirs” and she absolutely doesn’t mind the amount of love and treats that come along with “co-ownership.” Technically we wrote the check for her, but I mostly am concerned that she’s cared for and enjoyed.
I lease a horse and I call her “my horse” to a non horsey person. At the barn, pretty much everyone knows I lease her and I would never try to claim ownership, but I do use “my” as a term of endearment. I do absolutely love and care for her as if she was my own!
At the end of the day, the owner is the one who owns the horse and they know that 
It’s her horse on the terms of a lease. When you rent an apartment it is your apartment. When you lease a car it is your car.
Sure the car and apartment are only yours within the terms of your agreement just like a lease horse is only yours within the terms of a lease.
If the owner objects to the person who is leasing her horse calling it ‘her horse’ then she should politely ask her to phrase that differently. If she doesn’t mind then there is no issue. Obviously it would bother you if you were leasing your horse to this person.
It might be best for you to step back and worry about minor details like this a little less. Barn politics can become quite toxic to all parties involved.
[QUOTE=twobits;7910627]
I am finding it interesting so many people are okay with it! I have leased from many different individuals, and three of the five had issues with the “my horse” phrase! I didn’t use it in pictures or public posts, just in person using “my boy” would get me in trouble! The owner expressed that unless I was paying for all of the horse’s expenses then I am not to be using such pronouns. so I changed my phrases from “my boy” to “my favourite boy” because she can’t take away the fact that he was at the time my favourite even if he wasn’t mine.
I think my previous experience with getting in trouble for using such phrases is why I pick up on it now![/QUOTE]
Really? I can’t imagine a normal, well adjusted adult ever calling anyone to task over something so silly. Let alone 3 people. 
ETA: My horse is very social and greets people as they arrive at the barn. He’s made a lot of friends and plenty of people call him “my boy” or “my special boy”. I love it! People are constantly loving on him and checking in on him, so I know I’ll know right away if he’s NQR on a given day. And guess what else. I know that no matter how many people call him “their boy”, I’m going to be the one getting the board, vet and farrier bills. It’s all good. 
Maybe the super-possessive insecurity is an age or maturity thing?
Well, I can see how there could be some jealousy issues. A lot of people Think of their horses as their children and we wouldn’t want them to like stepmom more then us would we. 
That said, I think the owner is lucky that her halfleaser thinks of the horse as hers. As mentioned, she will then probably also treat it as it it was hers and take the very best care of it.
The horse I half lease, sounds kind of like a rental car, and we all know how those are treated.
I can’t imagine getting that worked up about something so trivial… I own several horses leased to clients, and I even I refer to them as my client’s horses (ie, ‘how’s your pony feeling?’, ‘better pull your boy’s mane!’, etc). The mere fact that someone cares that much about the horse they ride makes me happy, regardless of the way they refer to them.
[QUOTE=Hayla;7953759]
It’s her horse on the terms of a lease. When you rent an apartment it is your apartment. When you lease a car it is your car.
Sure the car and apartment are only yours within the terms of your agreement just like a lease horse is only yours within the terms of a lease.
If the owner objects to the person who is leasing her horse calling it ‘her horse’ then she should politely ask her to phrase that differently. If she doesn’t mind then there is no issue. Obviously it would bother you if you were leasing your horse to this person.
It might be best for you to step back and worry about minor details like this a little less. Barn politics can become quite toxic to all parties involved.[/QUOTE]
This is worth repeating.
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