When my daughter was an infant, her father watched her while I went to the barn. When she was a toddler, I paid a teenager to take her for a walk in her stroller while I rode. As she got older, I brought sand toys and let her play in the giant sand pile, or she colored and did crafts with the older girls. I was lucky that she was a easy baby and child. At five she started formal lessons at the barn.
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I’ve never heard it described more perfectly.
The only advice I have for anyone wondering how having children might affect their horse life is to accept the fact that you may not have much control over how it plays out. There are no guarantees; you’ve just got to take the leap and roll with what happens.
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today the twins are 12, they were here today working with the same miniatures learning to drive now
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I got my first pony when my son was 6 months and my daughter 2. I managed by having an amazing support system at the barn. The college student age girls would look after my two while I rode. My in-laws would care for them once a week and my parents once a week. I had a low maintenance large pony that got me back in the saddle.
Now my kids are 7 and almost 9. My eldest rides at the same time as me. I wouldn’t put it past her to be competing against me in a year or two! As a wimpy AA I like to stay lower and she’s suddenly realized that she can jump!!! My son has no interest in riding but will happily brush a horse for a while and loves to run the jumping course in the ring with his sister.
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Ok maybe y’all can help me with my brain here. I’m 20 weeks into first pregnancy and pretty tired these days; I often find after working my 8 hour day that riding my packer mare is too much and I’d rather have a nap. Mare is a 20 year old eventer who is still going pretty strong for her age and resume, and is teaching hubby to ride and (slowly) jump, but has some limitations now. She’ll need to slow down more over the next years, but still probably has a ton of life left in her for low level stuff. I personally never intend to event above Training level and actually am really into dressage these days.
I have no idea why my brain is suddenly doing this, but recently (the last couple of weeks/months) I cannot stop thinking about bringing along a young project. I’m even starting to dream about it, when it’s not always consciously on my mind! I’ve found myself browsing FB pages and websites for OTTBs, obsessing over SM pages of folks who are taking on a new project, etc.
I know it’s totally impractical to pick up a young project when I’m “foaling” in September/October; hubby already struggles with how much it costs to keep just one horse; I’m tired enough that I couldn’t bear the idea of trying to work 2 horses these days; I’m totally not ready to “move on” from my mare and find her a full leaser; any project I could pick up would have to go for training rides anyway; etc. Did I mention I’m about to have my first baby?! :lol:
I think part of it is that I’d LOVE for hubs to fall in love with riding enough that he would become the official rider for maresy and I could put attention into bringing something up for myself, but I don’t really see that happening for real. He says he enjoys it (it has taken 10 years yo), but regularly clarifies that it’s not remotely enough to put the money into keeping a second horse so that we can ride together.
Why is my brain latching onto this “project horse” idea so obsessively?! I almost feel like I suddenly have MORE specific goals than I ever did previously and dream of how I could achieve them, even as I complain about how tired I am and how mare will be fine sitting for an extra couple of days in her field, blah blah… Wisdom and sense tell me I need to leave space for my new family member and dynamic; I should be nesting for my newborn but instead am dreaming about my project horse lol. SOS.
I had my horses at home and I was a full time mom as well. I worked part-time from home at our farm business and was able to do that early mornings when everyone was asleep . Since I had all that time at home and the horses right there you would think I could ride regularly. NO.
My husband worked off farm and had a fairly long commute 90 minutes each way. In addition he had farm responsibilities here at home after work. When the kids were babies and toddlers ( 3 kids all 2 years or less apart in age) my riding was almost non existent. I raised a couple youngsters and was able to do regular short periods of groundwork.
Once my youngest was old enough to safely be in a play pen, I started riding with him in view and my 2 older kids kept him somewhat entertained. It just got better from there and eventually I could ride daily.
With my situation I didn’t feel like asking my husband to watch the kids was fair to him since he was basically working all the time. Once the kids were about 3 & older they would do stuff with him and I could expand my riding and that was fine with me.
Everyone’s situation is different. Just be prepared for the fact that sometimes a baby/ even toddler just wants their mommy and even a willing partner shouldn’t be saddled with a screaming inconsolable baby they can’t calm down.-- but mom can.
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I dreamt about my first horse when I was pregnant. They were usually dreams about trying to find her, etc… You know horses. The baby is still an unknown. Maybe your nurturing hormones are looking for something to love. Once you meet the baby, your brain will switch over to the known entity.
Hold off on the TB project. Babies are expensive enough critters. Much more expensive than a horse.
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I was wondering about this today when I woke up! “Hmm I’m feeling a lot of love. What do I love? Horses! Especially TBs!” 
I’m probably also impatient to start the new “chapter” and am subconsciously looking for ways to expel that restlessness.
Not to mention most new moms I know who go back to riding have developed a new anxiety or caution around horses that was not there previously. I had a nasty accident 10 years ago which was The Big One of my riding career; that already lends caution to my riding and the likelihood of me feeling excellent on a fresh OTTB post-baby is probably pretty low. The “sense” is strong in me.
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@BayBondGirl I think it’s the hormones. :lol:
At the beginning of my pregnancy, out of the blue, I became obsessed with the idea of breeding my warmblood mare. I’m glad I didn’t go through with it!
I also got puppy (or adult dog from the shelter) fever. That one hasn’t subsided and I’m sure I’ll give in sooner rather than later.
ETA: The anxiety, boy oh boy that’s real. Despite a lifetime with horses, since giving birth, I find my mind racing with “what if’s” while working with my horses around the barn. I hope it’s just a weird postpartum thing, especially since anxiety crops up other weird times apart from with the horses.
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@BayBondGirl we just picked up another project horse and I’m around 14 weeks. Last pregnancy I rode my 5 year OTTB til I was 37 weeks. Granted he has a super brain and is easy.
I currently have the TB, the sorrel we picked up yesterday, and a 5 year old green broke horse that came off a reservation. Depending on TBs vet appointment I’ll probably be looking for a replacement for 2021. Thankfully we don’t board and SO also rides.
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Your son is adorable/beautiful/handsome OMG 
my daughter is 4 weeks from delivering her first (a girl), and I’m hoping that she gets back to riding our two horses. But, if she takes some years off (as I did), that’s ok. Did I mention that your son is beautiful ?.. lol, babies and horses are the best
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That is true about taking less risks. That’s okay, there are plenty of horses to ride that aren’t fire breathing monsters.
Riding after pregnancy is interesting. Your seat changes ever so slightly because your hips have loosened or opened up. It’s seems to be a slightly deeper seat, for me. Light riding is good for tightening muscles up down there. I had less post pregnancy issues than my non-riding friends, but I don’t know if that is common for everyone. Maybe because of strong muscles in the abdomen and legs from riding? I don’t know.
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This is a timely thread! Congratulations to all who are expecting. I have an 8 month old and am struggling with my horse hobby. I board 1 horse who is lucky to see me twice a month. My hubby is somewhat supportive but works 12 hr days so we are both exhausted by the time he gets home. Days off are for catching up on what couldn’t be done during the week. I could squeeze more time at the barn but my priorities have shifted. I am trying to part lease my horse so he will be ridden. I fear if I sell him, It will be years before i get on a horse again. We are considering buying an acreage so we can have horses at home.
Congratulations to all the new Mamas to be! I’m typing this with my 5 month old asleep on my chest because that’s the only way he’ll sleep today. As other posters have said - babies will dictate!
I’m only 5 months in so limited experience to motherhood + horses but I’ll share what has been working for DH and I.
I have a young mare who I bought the month before getting pregnant (after 6+ months trying and a miscarriage…I still think buying the horse is what did the trick!) She was very lightly backed but that was it.
I was able to properly ride the first 25 weeks of pregnancy, but then really began to suffer with SPD and would be crippled after riding so stopped aside from “mental health walks” - fortunately my mare has an incredible brain and would carry me around on these walks as if I was a fragile package. Bless her.
I was back riding week 4 PP. I attribute this entirely to luck (easy birth, fast physical recovery, etc), an easy baby, and my husband… In that order. Still, I entered motherhood with suspended riding goals so that I had low expectations and wouldn’t be disappointed if I couldn’t find a way to make it work.
I still have that attitude. I see every ride as a bonus (currently getting 3-4x a week) and once things loosen up with COVID I’ll start looking for a lease for my mare for 1-2x a week.
I still need my barn time and feel like a much better mum after I’ve gotten my fix for a few hours. But I am happy to take lessons, trail ride, and just enjoy time and learning with my mare rather than focusing on a destination (training wise).
Having a supportive husband, my mare boarded 5 min down the road, and family nearby that can watch my son in a pinch are my three “pillars of success” for riding with an infant so far.
ETA: the way I got through pregnancy fatigue and those early sleepless months was convincing myself to leave the house just to give my mare a treat, then on the drive I’d convince myself to “just groom” her, then while grooming to tack up just for a walk, then once I was on her I’d feel up for an actual ride. Playing that mental game of tricking myself usually worked. Other times my mare just got a treat shrug. I’ve learned to go easy on myself because balancing it all is hard!!
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I’m a pretty strong feminist and my inner circle tends to be pretty stacked with boss women who have egalitarian relationships. Most aren’t equestrians but have similar expensive and consuming passions. Due to fatigue or a reprioritizing of values, some have taken a step back. However, all have full support from their spouse or SO to take time for these activities.
In my horse community, it is more of a mixed bag. I’ve seen a number of women drift because they got tired of the guilt trips or favor mindset associated with asking their spouse to coparent. If a spouse refers to spending time with their own child “babysitting”, I think it is going to be an uphill battle.
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I know this thread is a little dated, but any updates from the above then expecting, now parents? SO and I have agreed that we would potentially try for a family late next year (fall of 2022) after I look for a new horse come spring time…
I know there are a plethora of factors that surround this and may not happen right away, but just looking for some updated insight from you horsey moms!
The best potential solution for dads was to get them an outdoor hobby where baby could hang out. Woodworking is what worked for us (hand tools rather than the noisy machines). The only downside is the odd swear words children can pick up….
Gardening was another hobby that my hubby could do with a child in tow.
I got my ride time and hubby got his play time in the workshop. My horse was used to riding up to the workshop when we were done so I could boost a little one up for the walk back to the barn.
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Hey, DH is into woodworking and we just built him a shop. That’s promising! 
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Thanks for revising it! We’re on month three of “trying” and it was great to read this thread. Both promising and nerve-wracking at the same time.
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