Horsie Customer Service - from our friends at NotAlwaysRight.com

And from the sister site www.notalwaysworking.com

(I am a volunteer at an endurance ride (50-mile horse race). Every 12.5 miles, the horses must pass a vet check, including having their pulse and respiration down to a certain number. Once they are down, they must wait a certain amount of time before they leave and continue the race. I am a female in my 20′s, as are all the other volunteers checking pulse and respiration.)

Me:
“Okay, your horse is well below 60. You can leave here at 8:53.”

(I hand a slip of paper with times written to rider.)

Rider: “Great, thanks!”

Volunteer #1:
“How did you do that so fast?”

Me: “Well, I was watching the second hand on my watch, and the horse’s heartbeat was much slower than the ticks, so I didn’t really need to count the actual beats.”

Volunteer #1:
“No! How did you figure out the time so quick?”

Me: “Um, it was 8:38 when I checked her. Hold time is 15 minutes.”

Volunteer #1: “But that’s HARD! How did you figure it out so fast!?”

Me: “I’m good at math. I only had to add 15 minutes.”

Volunteer #1: “Yeah, but that’s difficult! What is your trick for doing it so fast?”

Me: “Um… I add 15.”

Volunteer #1: “You must have a trick for doing it!”

Me: “No, not really.”

(Volunteer #2 has finished checking a horse.)

Volunteer #2: “Hey, it’s 8:41. What’s the out time?”

Me: “8:56.”

Volunteer #2: “Thanks! I’ve been just writing down the first time and sending them on to the guys to get the out time. They’re good at math since they are guys! What is your trick?”

Volunteer #1:
“Wow, you did that so fast! Seriously, what is your trick?”

Me:
“Really? All you have to do is add 15 minutes to the time.”

Volunteer #1 and #2:
“But that’s HARD! What’s your secret?”

Me:
“I studied hard in school. I actually got the highest grade in my AP Calculus and Physics classes in high school.”

Volunteer #1:
“But you’re a GIRL!”

Me:
“Yes. Yes, I am.”

Volunteer #2:
“We should just let the boys do all the math.”

Me:
“No. We are supposed to do it. They are just supposed to check that the riders aren’t leaving early, and we are supposed to have both numbers written down. It’s not that difficult.”

Volunteer #1 and #2:
“Whatever.”

(After that conversation, every single time that the volunteers check a horse, they ask me for the out time. They are shocked by my math skills; I am shocked by the absolute failure of our education system. Both of them are working on Master’s degrees!)

How true, how true. :sigh: One cannot always be a unicorn.

P.S. Thanks for sharing that link and in particular, that item. So funny.

[QUOTE=ChocoMare;7125262]
And from the sister site www.notalwaysworking.com

(I am a volunteer at an endurance ride (50-mile horse race). Every 12.5 miles, the horses must pass a vet check, including having their pulse and respiration down to a certain number. Once they are down, they must wait a certain amount of time before they leave and continue the race. I am a female in my 20′s, as are all the other volunteers checking pulse and respiration.)

Me:
“Okay, your horse is well below 60. You can leave here at 8:53.”

(I hand a slip of paper with times written to rider.)

Rider: “Great, thanks!”

Volunteer #1:
“How did you do that so fast?”

Me: “Well, I was watching the second hand on my watch, and the horse’s heartbeat was much slower than the ticks, so I didn’t really need to count the actual beats.”

Volunteer #1:
“No! How did you figure out the time so quick?”

Me: “Um, it was 8:38 when I checked her. Hold time is 15 minutes.”

Volunteer #1: “But that’s HARD! How did you figure it out so fast!?”

Me: “I’m good at math. I only had to add 15 minutes.”

Volunteer #1: “Yeah, but that’s difficult! What is your trick for doing it so fast?”

Me: “Um… I add 15.”

Volunteer #1: “You must have a trick for doing it!”

Me: “No, not really.”

(Volunteer #2 has finished checking a horse.)

Volunteer #2: “Hey, it’s 8:41. What’s the out time?”

Me: “8:56.”

Volunteer #2: “Thanks! I’ve been just writing down the first time and sending them on to the guys to get the out time. They’re good at math since they are guys! What is your trick?”

Volunteer #1:
“Wow, you did that so fast! Seriously, what is your trick?”

Me:
“Really? All you have to do is add 15 minutes to the time.”

Volunteer #1 and #2:
“But that’s HARD! What’s your secret?”

Me:
“I studied hard in school. I actually got the highest grade in my AP Calculus and Physics classes in high school.”

Volunteer #1:
“But you’re a GIRL!”

Me:
“Yes. Yes, I am.”

Volunteer #2:
“We should just let the boys do all the math.”

Me:
“No. We are supposed to do it. They are just supposed to check that the riders aren’t leaving early, and we are supposed to have both numbers written down. It’s not that difficult.”

Volunteer #1 and #2:
“Whatever.”

(After that conversation, every single time that the volunteers check a horse, they ask me for the out time. They are shocked by my math skills; I am shocked by the absolute failure of our education system. Both of them are working on Master’s degrees!)
[/QUOTE]

That reminds me, weighing cattle at the elevator scales, they give me the weight ticket and I tell them what to make the check for.
The buyer tells me, “how did you do that!”
“Do what?”
“How did you figure the shrink and know what to make the check for?”
“Take 4% shrink off the weight on the ticket, multiply by the price we settled on.”:yes:

Yes, but how did you do that — WITHOUT A CALCULATOR?" :lol:

Yes, I am old and feeling older when hearing that.:stuck_out_tongue:

I used to work at a dude ranch. We had MANY people who’d come up, pet the horses, and ask us in a confused sort of way if the horses were real.

My my my… an offering from their other site www.notalwaysrelated.com

(My four-year-old daughter loves to watch “My Little Pony” on TV. My wife and I think she might like to meet a real pony, so we decide to take her to a petting zoo.)

Me:
“Are you excited about seeing the ponies, babygirl?”

Daughter:
“Yeah!”
(When we get to the enclosure where the ponies are kept, a zoo employee greets us.)

Employee:
“Hello! Are we going to be feeding the ponies today?”

Wife:
“She sure is! [Daughter’s name] loves ponies.”
(The employee reaches into a food bucket, and hands my daughter a carrot.)

Employee:
“The ponies like to eat carrots, sweetie. So I’ll go ahead and bring one over and you can give him a yummy treat, okay?”

Daughter:
“Okay.”
(The employee enters the pony enclosure and brings a large, brown pony back with her, guiding it right up to the fence. It’s quite a bit taller than my daughter. When she lays eyes on it, she starts to shake, drops the carrot and hides behind my wife’s legs.)

Wife:
“Whoa, [daughter’s name], where are you going? Don’t you want to say hi to the pony?”

Daughter:
shaking her head “Nuh-uh.”

Me:
“Come on, babygirl. You wanted to meet the pony, didn’t you?”

Daughter:
“No. It’s scary.”

Employee:
“He’s not going to hurt you, sweetie. He’s very gentle!”

(It takes several minutes of cajoling to get her to agree to give the pony the carrot. Finally she holds it as far from her body as she can and tiptoes toward the pony. It lowers its head to sniff at the carrot.)


Daughter:
“Daddy, it’s scary!”

Me:
“What’s scary about it, babygirl?”
(At that moment, the pony snorts loudly. My daughter drops the carrot and races toward me, clawing her way up my body in a split-second and clinging to my neck and chest with her arms and legs. She holds on very tight, wide-eyed and shaking. Several minutes later, once we are able to pry her off and calm her down, we’re on our way back home.)

Wife:
“I don’t get it, honey. What was so scary about that pony? You love to watch My Little Pony!”

Daughter:
“That wasn’t my little pony. That was my BIG pony!”

:lol:

Someone posted a site with medical stories on another forum but I can’t find it. Does anyone have know what it is?

i posted my personal favorite stupid customer story there while back:

Customer: My betta fish has lost all his color and just lays around the bottom of his bowl. When I got him 6 months ago he was so pretty…what is wrong?

Me: care related questions- bowl size? water changes? temperature?- all sounds good until…how much do you feed him and how often? (many people grossly overfeed their fish and pollute the water)

Customer: Fish eat???

Six months and she never fed him once. Sold her some fish food and waited til she left to die laughing.

She probably had one of those cruel Betta vases with the stupid plant blocking the air. The Betta is supposed to eat the plants’s roots. Bettas are carnivorous. Those things are awful.

[QUOTE=dacasodivine;7202686]
Someone posted a site with medical stories on another forum but I can’t find it. Does anyone have know what it is?[/QUOTE]

this is the best evah!

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985

Someone Needs To Treat Warhorse

(I work at a call center that does outbound fundraising. One of our clients is the Veterans of Foreign Wars, Department of Minnesota.)

Me: "Hello, this is [my name], calling for the ‘Veterans of Foreign Wars, Department of Minnesota’. Thanks for taking my call!

Woman: “Wait, wait, did you say veterans?”

Me: “Yes, I was calling because—”

Woman: “I don’t need a veteran. I don’t even have any animals!”

(I can give her the benefit of the doubt for simply mixing up the words ‘veterans’ and ‘veterinarians’. But I have to wonder what she would have thought a veterinarian of foreign wars would be!)


Time To Pega-sulk

(A little girl approaches me holding up a book with a unicorn on the cover.)

Little Girl: “I think unicorns are beautiful!”

Me: “They sure are! That looks like a great book for you!”

Little Girl: “I think you’re a unicorn!”

Me: “Aww! Does that mean you think I’m beautiful?”

Little Girl: “No! It means you’re a horse with a big horn on your head!”

Me: “Umm…thank you?”

[QUOTE=skykingismybaby1;7203623]
this is the best evah!

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985[/QUOTE]

Oh my. Some of those really make me wonder about the world we live in.

Thanks! I’ve gone through most of the notalwaysright.com post and have gone through all of the notalwaysworking.com posts.

With some of them you wonder how they made it to adulthood.

[QUOTE=skykingismybaby1;7203623]
this is the best evah!

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985[/QUOTE]

Holy moly… and here is one with a horsie theme:

“3. If you own a horse named thunder, flash, psycho, or reaper, do not get within 20 feet, and don’t even think of just taking them for a quick ride.”

:lol: right on doc!

[QUOTE=ChocoMare;7203803]
Holy moly… and here is one with a horsie theme:

“3. If you own a horse named thunder, flash, psycho, or reaper, do not get within 20 feet, and don’t even think of just taking them for a quick ride.”

:lol: right on doc![/QUOTE]

LOL!!

My husband’s father gave him a horse named “Hot Shot.” I insisted we rename him!

there is a companion site to this called
notalwaysworking.com it is equally hilarious.

Today’s offering from NotAlwaysRelated.com :slight_smile:

[h=3]Herding Her Daughter Out Of The Store[/h] Mall | Silverdale, WA, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My mother and I are clothes shopping, when I notice a comic book store has opened. Being a massive geek, I have to go check it out. My mother, who is tolerant but not at all interested, follows reluctantly. Her hobby is equestrian-eventing and she always refers to the horses affectionately as ‘ponies.’ I walk into the store and immediately end up chatting with the cashier, because she is wearing a ‘Doctor Who’ t-shirt, and she has a sonic screwdriver on her belt. My mother is wandering around the store poking things for about three minutes, and then comes to stand behind me.)

Mother: in a whisper “I like ponies.”

(I ignore and continue chatting to the cashier.)

Mother: a bit louder “I like ponies.”

Me: “Okay, Mom, let me just find [issue of Doctor Who comic], and then we’ll be off.”

Mother: following me through the shelves “I like ponies!” louder “I like ponies!”

Me: “Ah here it is; let me pay and we can leave.”

Mother: almost yelling “I like ponies!”

(I go back and chat with the cashier, while she rings up the comic and finds the name of another series we’d talked about.)

Mother: “I LIKE PONIES! I. LIKE. PONIES!”

Cashier: laughing uncontrollably “I take it you’re the household geek-a-freak?”

Me: “You have no idea.”

Mother: “PO-NIES!”

[QUOTE=trubandloki;7203639]
Oh my. Some of those really make me wonder about the world we live in.[/QUOTE]

#5 is true. My college roommates mother was an RN and the stories she told about that kind of stuff were legendary. Why, one guy fell on a pool table and the cue ball flew right up his butt! You just never know what you might slip and fall on. :wink:

these are priceless!

And they continue to satisfy our desire for MORE! Makes me wonder if a COTHer submitted it :wink:

Time To Separate The Horse From The Goats

Camp | VA, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(We offer pony camps during the summer to kids wanting to learn to ride. We have very calm, safe horses to ride, and take all safety measures, but some parents are naturally worrisome.)


Mom:
“Those horses are awfully big… Don’t you have something smaller for my daughter?”

Me:
“Ma’am, I assure you, all of our horses are sweet. I’ve ridden all of them over my years here.”

Mom:
“I just think that they’re too big for her. Maybe something smaller? Like a miniature horse?”

Me:
“Ma’am, you can’t really ride a miniature horse…”

Mom:
“Oh! What about that one! It’s perfectly sized for her!”

Me:
“Uh… Ma’am… that’s a goat.”

(At this point, the daughter was bright red. She ended up riding one of our largest horses and did awesomely. And poor Benny the goat didn’t have to worry!)