:lol: City folk.
I have a Very Serious Job. I’m not supposed to be laughing this loud at work!:lol:
My faith in humanity, it is gone. 
And today’s offering from our friends at NAR:
Say Neigh To Demanding Customers, Part 2
(I work for a large adventure playground which is situated in a park. We are strictly a ‘no pets allowed’ establishment; however, the park is popular with dog walkers and is used for obedience and agility classes, so it is a common occurrence to have people come along with their dogs and get frustrated when we have to turn them away. In this situation I am overhearing one of my coworkers speaking on the phone.)
Coworker #1: “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”
(Pause.)
Coworker #1: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our playground has a strict ‘no pets allowed’ policy.”
(Longer pause.)
Coworker #1: “I’m sorry to hear that, but we really can’t make exceptions.”
I[/I]
Coworker #1: “Ye—” pause “But I—” pause “We—” pause “No, th—” pause
(This carries on for some time, until eventually my coworker seems to give up.)
Coworker #1: speaking very loudly “YES, MA’AM, I UNDERSTAND. I’M SORRY WE COULDN’T WORK THINGS OUT. HAVE A NICE DAY.”
(He hangs up the phone with force and drops his head to the counter.)
Coworker #2: “Another person wanting to bring their puppy in, huh?”
Coworker #1: “No. She wanted to bring her HORSE.”
Damn you, ChocoMare. I have never even heard of this website but I work in customer service… I am currently on page 18. :o
[QUOTE=lachelle;7853391]
Damn you, ChocoMare. I have never even heard of this website but I work in customer service… I am currently on page 18. :o[/QUOTE]
HOWLING here!! Thanks 
Oh boy. I did not need to know about these sites.
I hate you all. I’m late turning out!!!
And from their sister site, NotAlwaysRelated, we have the quintessential Horse Woman offering:
Might Want To Put A Stop To That
(I am just learning to drive and we are on a back road when…)
Mom: screaming “Stop!”
(Of course I slammed on the brakes and look around the empty road thinking an animal was going to run out.)
Me: “What?! I don’t see anything!”
Mom: “Oh, no. I just wanted a better look at that horse trailer. Sorry, honey.”
I work in retail (thankfully at a mostly tack & feed store), and I have lost hours of my life to this site.
And from another sister site: Not Always Romantic 
Horsing Around With The Possibilities
(My horse is old and I spend a lot of my time with him when I’m not working. My boyfriend often accompanies me because we have semi-conflicting schedules.)
Boyfriend: “You love that d*** horse more than me.”
Me: “So what?”
Boyfriend: “You should love me more! I can do things for you that he can’t!”
Me: “Like what?”
Boyfriend: “Open stuck jar lids, get things off the top shelf or off the top of the fridge, unlock and open the door with an arm-load of groceries. I have thumbs; the possibilities are endless.”
:lol:
[QUOTE=ChocoMare;8204835]
And from another sister site: Not Always Romantic
Horsing Around With The Possibilities
(My horse is old and I spend a lot of my time with him when I’m not working. My boyfriend often accompanies me because we have semi-conflicting schedules.)
Boyfriend: “You love that d*** horse more than me.”
Me: “So what?”
Boyfriend: “You should love me more! I can do things for you that he can’t!”
Me: “Like what?”
Boyfriend: “Open stuck jar lids, get things off the top shelf or off the top of the fridge, unlock and open the door with an arm-load of groceries. I have thumbs; the possibilities are endless.”
:lol:[/QUOTE]
My husband tried that one ("why do you love him so much! I pay the mortgage!) - and at the same moment, my horse took the opportunity to start vigorously licking my arm (a newfound habit of his…) and I looked down and said “Yes, but he’s a better kisser.”
:lol: Worth Bumping for this
https://notalwaysright.com/hes-horsing-around/54544
(I help out at a friend’s riding stable. It’s not uncommon for people whose only experience with horses is watching Bonanza reruns on TV to then claim to be experienced riders.)
Me: “Have you had much riding experience?”
Customer: “Yeah, I know all about horses! Bring me a good, fast one.”
(I saddle a decent horse and bring him out for this guy.)
Customer: “How do I get on?”
Thank you for bumping this up.
Now another person has lost hours of her life reading it. Pay it forward! :lol:
[I]Mods, just think “horse” when she says “quad bike”, ok? I just ~have~ to sneak this one in…
[/I]https://notalwaysright.com/category/popular/page/80[I]
(I work on a cattle farm in a small town. I am checking fences on the quad bike when a small car drives up the dirt road next to the paddock I’m in. A couple gets out of a small car and walks up to me. This is just a farm; we don’t not handle customers, just send cattle to the marketplace. I have no retail experience and have had a very bad day and it’s almost quitting time.[/I])
Boyfriend: “Hello there. We’re from [City] and we saw those small cows in the fields back there, and we where wondering if we could buy one?”
Me: “Sorry, mate, the calves aren’t for sale.”
Boyfriend: “But my girlfriend really wants one.”
Me: “Sorry, mate, we don’t sell 'em to people and besides, how would you get it back to your house?”
Boyfriend: “We put it in the boot.” the trunk
Me: “Wait, what? You put what in the boot?!”
Boyfriend: “The small cow…”
Me: “What the h***, man! You can’t do that!”
(I climb through the fence and make the couple open the boot. Inside is a week-old calf!)
Me: “Jesus, mate, how the f*** did you get it in there?!”
Boyfriend: "Well, that’s the other thing I wanted to talk about! It wasn’t easy at all; my girlfriend got kicked!
Girlfriend: shows me her arm, bruise already starting to show “It really hurts; I think we should get the cow for free.”
Me: “YOU’RE NOT GETTING THE CALF!”
Boyfriend: “That’s not fair! It was so hard to get; we didn’t even have time to close the gate again.”
Me: “You didn’t close the gate…”
Girlfriend: “No. Why?”
Me: looks back down the road to see half the mob of cattle wandering towards us
Me: “F***!”
(I grab the calf, which until this point hasn’t felt the need to move much for whatever reason, and place it on the ground. It immediately takes off towards the other cattle, bellowing for its mother.)
Boyfriend: “What the f*** did you that for, you f****** a**-hole! I should kick your a**! We are gonna find your boss and get you fired!”
Me: "Whatever. Just get lost!
(I race to the quad bike, start rounding up cattle, taking them back to the paddock before they get to the main roads. It takes about half an hour. When I get back to the shed the car is out the front and my boss is talking to the couple.)
Boss: “These two just told me the funniest story about you.” he’s smiling, thinking this has to be a joke
Me: still fuming over what happened, begin yelling at the couple
Boss: “Wait, this isn’t a joke?”
Boyfriend: “No, this isn’t a joke! Your employee is terrible!”
Boss: takes a moment to process the whole thing, begins to get his angry face on, and I retreat to safe distance “YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU TWO TRIED TO STEAL ONE OF MY CALVES?! GET THE H*** OFF THIS PROPERTY BEFORE I FIND A DEEP MINE-SHAFT I CAN THROW YOU IN!”
Couple: shared look of terror on faces, they run to the car and speed off
Boss: after calming down “Beer?”
Me: “God, yes.”
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From notalwaysworking.
(I’m working in a stable with Arabian show horses. My coworker and I are grooming some of the horses.)
Coworker: “The last show I went to, there were some horses there that looked just wonderful. I asked the owner how she got their coats so shiny.”
Me: “Uh huh.”
Coworker: “She said she just used lots of elbow grease.”
Me: “Mmmm…?”
Coworker: “You should have seen the looks I got in the drug store when I went in and asked where they kept the elbow grease.”
1 Like
SO worth bringing this thread back to life with today’s offering from NotAlwaysRight
We Get Tourists Of All Stripes
Funny, Pets & Animals, South Africa, Tourist Attraction, Tourists/Travel, Wordplay | Right | September 13, 2023
I drive tourists around a large Safari park in South Africa. We get tourists from all over the world, and while I would never EVER laugh at someone’s accent or command of English, sometimes they will come up with something I can’t help but smile at.
Tourist: “When will we see the… how you say?”
Me: “Can you describe the animal to me?”
Tourist: “Like… pony, but looks like… prison?”
Me: “A zebra?”
Tourist: “Yes! When will we see prison pony?!”
That’s what I’m calling ’em from now on!
5 Likes
