Hi, recently I have been having thoughts on how to switch barns to go to another barn in the area. I heard about this nearby barn but I don’t have an insiders opinion. I need advice on how to check out this barn and make sure my trainer doesn’t find out or else I risk losing the barn I am at right now. The barn is nearby so the word might spread around fast.
There’s really no silver bullet on this. You’ll either need to tell your trainer before that you’re considering moving or go and tour and hope that the new barn will keep the meeting confidential.
Certainly if the ‘new barn’ is closer to home etc, you can tell your trainer that you’d like to look at it because your current commute isn’t sustainable. I would pose it to them as something you’re having a hard time with and explain why you feel like you need to explore.
Are you moving a horse or just taking lessons?
I’m not sure you risk losing the barn you are at.
You go check the other barn out. Either you prefer it and move, or you stay at your barn. If you decide to stay at your barn you can tell your current trainer how much better they are than the other barn. They will be flattered probably.
I’m moving a horse as well
Well, same things apply.
Do you have a friend who can inquirer for you? I’ve done that for people before.
We could probably give you better advice if we had some more information about why you wanted to leave. I’m sure you don’t want to air it all here, so feel free to pm me.
IME when I have called potential new barns and said that my current barn owner can’t know that I am considering leaving for XYZ reasons, they have all been receptive and respectful. As long as you make it clear that you will give your current barn 30 days notice, or whatever the contract states, this kind of thing isn’t terribly uncommon. You need to be just forthcoming enough to explain the problem (you don’t want to offend current BO by letting them know you are looking, your aren’t satisfied with the training at the current barn and that trainer can be spiteful, etc), but you need to be careful so that the new BO doesn’t perceive you as a dama mama. AND you’re right, the horse community is small and word travels fast. So it is very possible that the new BO is aware that care might be slipping at your current place, or that the trainer can be a little difficult. People are usually sympathetic if you are dealing with a known problematic person.
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This reads like you are not sure you want to leave your new barn, all you want to do is check out the other barn to find out if you want to move barns.
Before you make that leap, why do you want to check out the new barn? Is there an issue at the current barn or have you just heard the new barn is great? Have you seen the trainer at the new barn at a show and you think they are a better fit?
I do not recommend going to the new barn and telling them to not tell your trainer. They will tell your trainer.
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I truly hate this stockholm syndrome mentality that exists in the horse world. It is ABSOLUTELY okay to go tour another barn. You are a paying client. Your trainer works for you. It is okay to get second opinions, and shop around. If a trainer kicks you out for that, they aren’t an ethical professional and you don’t want to train with them anyways. I promise!
The trainer loyalty that exists in the horse world is absolutely insane, where people are literally afraid to talk to another trainer or visit another barn. I too once was a victim to this mentality until I realized how nutso it is.
My riding has greatly benefited from not being afraid to take lessons at multiple barns, and build relationships with multiple horse professionals. I currently don’t own a horse, but ten years ago when I did, I left a toxic trainer, and boarded at a barn with a new trainer, and would still trailer in for lessons at other barns occasionally. If they had an issue with it, then they weren’t a professional I wanted to work with. The trainer I boarded with didn’t care either, as they were professional enough to realize that I was a paying client, the horse was mine, and I was free to do as I pleased.
The trainers that are wildly possessive of their clients, are the same ones working shady and sketchy deals. The trainer I left, wouldn’t let us shop for a horse with anyone but her select contacts. Said this was to protect us. Well, turns out she made 20k off of a 40k horse (only found this out years later). What triggered us leaving was when I found the absolute perfect horse (through not one of her crony contacts) and she told me “no”. That was the wake up moment, we left her and bought him and never looked back.
It is okay for a trainer to say “You should avoid xyz” if they know they aren’t a good professional, but if you are having to sneak around to check out another barn, or if there an understanding of zero tolerance for working with other trainers, get out. Run.
I know it is hard. Be upfront, or don’t. It shouldn’t really matter. You are NOT doing ANYTHING wrong by going to look at another barn. If your trainer finds out, it’s simple “You were recommended it, and wanted to meet the trainers and check out the amenities”. Followed by either giving your contractual 30 day notice, or saying that you prefer your current situation.
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I’m just worried that if the trainer finds out, then they will kick me out and if the other barn isn’t compatible then I will be worse off than before😂
You should call the Trainer/BM at the new barn and ask about their program. No need to give your name. Just tell them that you ride in the area and would like information on what they offer. If you are dissatisfied at your current barn, be sure to find out if making a change will improve your situation. It’s shouldn’t be a big deal to inquire. Ask all of your questions and only pay a visit if you like what you hear. Honestly, if either barn is unprofessional, then you shouldn’t do business with them.
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The trainer will not kick you out, and if they do, you don’t want to be with them anyways. An ethical and honest professional wouldn’t be that insecure.
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If the professional at the barn you’re considering touring immediately gets on the horn after you leave and tells your current trainer you took a tour, that is not a professional I’d be willing to work with.
What makes you think your trainer would kick you out just for inquiring about a different program?
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This. I wouldn’t hide it at all. I’d go and check out the other place. If a trainer is going to kick me out of their program for looking at another barn…auditing a clinic…hell RIDING in a clinic…I would be leaving anyway. There is nothing wrong with knowing your options in the market place.
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I have had clients curious about new barns. They ask me what I have heard of it. They tell me about the new barn after the go look (if the go look). Isn’t it natural curiosity to want to know about new barns in the area? Why would I kick someone out for that?
Now…if you go to look at the other barn and bad mouth your current barn, then maybe? So don’t go to the other barn listing out things you hate about your existing barn to the new BO. (except things that are not subjective such as arena size and driving distance).
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You do not have to yell the new place where your horse is now if you don’t want to. You are only looking.
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YOUR TRAINER WORKS FOR YOU!!!
This is super important, and once you realize this, horses will be so much more fun.
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The trainer works for the client, and ultimately, if a person gets kicked out of a barn for simply looking at another barn, then good riddance - clearly, the professionalism is wanting.
That all said it is very well and good to say those things, but the idea of being kicked out of a barn and being left high and dry with no back up plan (who has a back up plan for “I need to move a horse in the next (whatever deadline a trainer gives) because I got kicked out of a barn”?) is terrifying. The older or more established a person becomes in an equine community the less terrifying this may become (you get your own truck/trailer or have a multitude of friends who do, even if you don’t have horse property you know of friends who may have a stall, or know of a barn that might be able to take you in a pinch) but these are all very contingent on “who-you-know”.
With the above in mind, and being a little compassionate about wanting to avoid any potential concern of being ejected from a barn (be it just an extreme “what if” or if there are actually grounds that warrant this, as in it has been done before)… I would schedule a tour of the new barn during a low-traffic time. This may necessitate taking a morning off work if you are in a conventional 9-5 (I find that weekday mornings around 9 are very quiet in most barns). When you schedule the tour, indicate that you are looking to honor the terms of your current boarding contract but haven’t indicated that you are looking to move so if barn owner/manager/trainer that you are scheduling with could please keep it on the down low, you would be much obliged.
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Threads like these are always very interesting. I don’t always agree with the assertion that trainers work for the clients no matter what.
Sometimes it helps to think of trainers as independent contractors. They can decide if they want to work with you or they can decide they don’t want you as a client and they can walk away from your business. If a trainer becomes aware that a client has one foot out the door and the trainer has other potential clients calling, it is easy to predict what will happen. It is not unethical to cull clients that aren’t interested in traveling in the same direction as the trainer’s program. It is business. It isn’t shady to terminate a relationship with a client that just isn’t fitting in. It is business. News that a client is shopping around for another barn may just be the push the trainer needs to terminate a relationship that is already on thin ice.
@Jsalem made a reasonable recommendation. Call up the other barn, ask them about their program and services and if it sounds interesting, make an appointment to visit. If you set up an appointment to visit the barn you can simply tell them you ride in the area and you are interested in touring their barn and learning about their program and their facilities. You can say something like, “I drive by your establishment often and would really like to learn more about what you have to offer.”
Horse people check out other facilities all the time. But, if you make it clear you are shopping for a new trainer, be prepared to deal with any fallout.
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If we’re talking about trainer and barn owner in the same breath, then I disagree heartily. I have boarded at two barns in the past year and a half (left the first barn on excellent terms after a year to go to current barn based on discipline and trainer).
I view it as both BOs basically having invited me and my mare into their homes. I would not suffer mistreatment or poor care of my mare, however I behave like a good guest (and work to ensure my mare does, as well). I think that the “customer is always right” attitude is crap in most cases/industries, and nowhere is this more true than in boarding/training horses.
Having said that, I think it’s pretty gross for a trainer/BO to be threatened by clients’ interest in others.
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One thing to keep in mind is, the horse world is very small. Everyone knows everyone. And they know about each others’ skeletons. If a Client is working with Trainer A and is considering moving to Trainer B and Trainer B has a history of some poor practices, Trainer A may express their disagreement/disappointment with the Client’s choice of leaving to go to Trainer B, but the Client may never fully appreciate “why” until they discover Trainer B’s shortcomings for themselves.
Here is a real life example. Client is charmed by Trainer B who flatters her and Trainer B indulges in exaggerated claims of producing many successful riders and horses. Client leaves Trainer A who is visibly disappointed. Trainer A is aware of Trainer’s B propensity to exaggerate and cut corners and drops some hints, but the Client isn’t interested in hearing the feedback and chalks it up to “sour grapes” or persuades themselves that Trainer A is being “territorial”.
Client joins Trainer B’s program only to be pushed too fast and encouraged to ride horses that have holes in their training. Client leases a horse owned by Trainer B and ends up getting lawn darted head first into a fence at a show. Horse had a reputation of stopping and the pros in the area knew it. Client ends up in the ER with a broken face and struggled with confidence issues after the experience. Client leaves the horse world not long after.
Sometimes there are legitimate reasons why Trainer A may not be enthused to see a client leave to join Trainer B. Sometimes the reasons are immature and petty. Sometimes the concerns are based in sound logic that the Client won’t appreciate until later.
To say every Trainer A that doesn’t embrace a Client’s decision to try out Trainer B’s program is wrong, or territorial, or unethical, or unprofessional makes for a good sound-bite on a BB, but life isn’t always that simple.
Sometimes, just sometimes, Trainer A is genuinely concerned about the Client’s choice, because they have seen the movie before and it doesn’t end well with a particular Trainer B.
