How would you handle this? Unqualified peeps blanketing horses at barn

[endlessclimb]

Based on how you’ve described your horse in other facets, it would not surprise me that he’s a problem. Just sayin’. He has serious spookiness that some good trainers (according to you) have never been able to resolve. This isn’t something to be offended by - it’s just a reality.

That said - I never, not even in a pasture, will blanket a horse who doesn’t have a rope on them. Even some of the most experienced horse people have had horses do stupid stuff half-way through blanketing.

In the end, if you like it where you are and you believe this is a one off incident for your horse, I’d apologize and move on. I think you over reacted, and in the end they’ll just stop telling you stuff instead of being forthcoming.

[FjordBCRF]

@J-Lu

That’s exactly what happened to my horse years ago when “the husband” tried to blanket him (being new to horses).

@J-Lu

Since this has never happened in the previous 10 years (they’ve owned for 7)

I realize these folks have now been operating with horse for 7 years, but unless I was MAJORLY involved in my daily horses care and even then, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with my horse being in the care of people who don’t know much and think they probably know more than they do given they’ve been doing in a while now.

That aside. it sounds like what you view as the problem and what the owners view as the problem don’t align. That’s a tough spot to argue even as a paying customer. The focus on the daughter is really a secondary issue to the glaring problem that these people running the place being ok with the whole set up of letting inexperienced people take care of client horses that are not being supervised or trained. Not to mention, the whole practice itself of blanketing loose in a field, eating or not. Those types practices being OK are a problem, or will turn into a bigger one.

Im in the camp of I’d start looking for other barns. I think it’s ok to bring up you were worried for the daughters safety, and you apologize if you over stepped in suggesting she need more training. That would probably neutralize the whole thing. I think any other approach might nuke the situation worse.

[Marla_100]

Blood is thicker than water.

Hate to say it but you need to
submissively tip toe around this
discussion in the future.
BO 's don’t know what they don’t know.
Hope you won’t be deemed the
“problem” boarder.
I’d also be looking for a backup place. Just in case.

[luvmyhackney]

@J-Lu

One responded by saying my horse is somewhat unpredictable, damaged their run-in so they had to put hot wire in there (not true until they put a mare in with my horse’s gelding friend and they have a weird 3-some dynamic - they share a run-in), that he can be pushy to blanket (contradicted the last message that he was easy), their daughter was likely fine and that they have blanketed 200 horses in the time since they purchased the place.

This is the message you need to read. They think your horse is a PITA. I would be looking for a new spot with more experienced help if my horse is spooky Lou.

Blanketing without a halter/leadrope is dangerous full stop. Even in a stall it’s dangerous unless horse is secured. Blanketing during feed time is straight up stupid.
That said even my very inexperiencedDH and kids can blanket a horse just fine, it’s really not rocket science. If horse seems anxious or not settled, they know to just stop and don’t blanket. Human getting hurt isn’t worth it.

[findeight]

@Scribbler

I feel like by the time you are having these kinds of discussions with the property owner, you are on your way out eventually

Like it or not this is where you are. These people are not your friends, they are service providers with whom you are friendly. Step back and treat this as a business relationship. Stop making excuses for their lack of knowledge and sketchy “staff”.

But I got a hunch about a situation but unsure of the details between BOs and daughter. You mentioned a “divorce 9 years ago”? Whose child is this? How long has she been living and working there?

By what you share, the only new part of your boarding experience is the daughter. Children of divorce can be manipulative and a parent is going to stand behind what their child’s version of the story is. Not yours. Be careful what you say to daughter, it’s going right to BOs, possibly edited, she may be playing you against them and dramatizing. Again, based on what you shared, shes already proven herself irresponsible and who knows what else.

This has been a leading reason over the decades why I have left barns, BO family issues that spill over into horse care and ability to TRUST BOs.

The approaching a loose horse that is eating with a blanket and throwing it over them is asking for it. Your horse, your property your (questionable) choice. Somebody inexperienced being paid to care for somebody else’s horse, no way. So if your horse knocks her down or kicks her in the face? You may be looking for a new barn ASAP.

This might be a good opportunity to review your boarding contract. It is current, right?

Anyway, I give barns 3 strikes. You got one obvious strike here. Strike 2 is under review. That would be blaming the horse. Real horsemen NEVER blame the horse for bad care or handling.

Also, might be tacky but since DD here cant stay in school or hold a job, is there a possible substance abuse factor? Have that in my family, they lle. All the time. Different story to each person but you cant tell by looking at them. Seem normal. That has been an underlying cause of slipping care at barns I have left.

[trubandloki]

I have to say, one of my first thoughts was that it was nice that this person (the daughter) was upfront and honest and told you about this incident instead of just sweeping it under the rug and pretending it never happened.

Your response to the barn owners is why most barns get stuck in the conundrum of deciding what to tell the horse owners and what not to tell them.

I agree with the above posters, before this meeting you have to decide if you want to be right, or you want to stay at this barn.

[Lunabear1988]

Stuff happens, honestly. I would do like everyone else said and make it more about your concerns about her safety so they won’t be defensive feeling. Haltering is always a good idea. I have been in horses for over 25 years, worked in barns, worked for a vet, and I still halter most of the horses in my blanket group. Just about a month ago I actually had an incident. I was taking a horses blanket off and just as I was taking it off he reached over to me and touched me. He got a big static shock on his nose. He instantly reared up and struck at me. And all the other horses in the pasture surrounded us to see what the commotion was about. I had had a halter on him so that didn’t matter but it was just kind of a freak thing that happened. And what happened to be a pretty sensitive horse. I was really glad it was me out there and not someone with less experience!

[Heinz_57]

If “the talk” they want to have with you isn’t to straight up kick you out already, it’s probably a ‘my way or the highway’ ultimatum. So I’d be deciding right now whether this is really the best facility for me, or not, and considering other options. If you really want to stay and this is the best facility available, is there a moderate blanketing option that could be worn 24/7 to eliminate the need for the on/off?

[cnd8]

@fivestrideline

also think you OP brought this up in a way that comes across badly and that the entire setup is unsafe and this could have happened to anyone. “More training” for the barn worker (family or no) is not the answer here.

I agree. I think the email exchange overall is a bit reactive and unnecessary. This could have happened to any seasoned horse person. Suggesting their daughter is somewhat at fault is a no win and only goes to make them frustrated with the boarder. To me this is making a mountain of a mole hill. Since poster says she has great relationship with daughter, just nicely express some concern in a casual conversation WITH HER. She’s an adult and going over her head doesn’t look good, in my opinion, for such a simple, random, freak thing that can happen to anyone.

[cnd8]

@J-Lu

Am I being unreasonable? How would you address them “in the meeting”? How would you have dealt with the news that your horse who has been there for 10 years shocked himself on the hotwire while being blanketed by a non-horsie person?

Yes I think so. Stuff happens. Everyone is ok. And it could have happened with anyone out there, heck, even if he was haltered. I think your “forwardness” with the emails during a busy holiday time for this IMO small matter was uncalled for and, I would guess, won’t paint you in a good light with the BOs.

[findeight]

Maybe. But get a plan B barn option. Should always have one anyway. Weather, broken pipes, electrical problems, god forbid a fire, sometimes you have to move a horse ASAP.

Speaking solely from my personal experiences, this is a yellow flag. Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst.

[Angela_Freda]

So she’s inexperienced and blanketing loose horses in turnout?
Nope, that’s not safe for anyone concerned.
Regardless of the hotwire it’s a bad plan to blanket horses, loose on turnout, with other horses also present and loose.
That no one has been seriously injured doing this as long as they’ve been running it, is called luck.

Didn’t Cindy just get killed by a very simple, routine situation that should have been largely no problem ?
And she was beyond experienced.

You’re not being unreasonable.
I don’t care how well behaved the horse is, or how experienced the person is. Blanketing loose horses shows they aren’t experienced enough.
.
.

[Djones]

@J-Lu

Am I being unreasonable? How would you address them “in the meeting”? How would you have dealt with the news that your horse who has been there for 10 years shocked himself on the hotwire while being blanketed by a non-horsie person?

You are being unreasonable in that you are focusing on your ‘rights’ - that’s the wrong focus.

You go to the meeting and open with an apology. In the moment, I reacted out of worry about the girl’s safety, and in that moment I made a mistake and I exercised poor judgment. I love being here, I love this barn, and I’m really sorry that I ever sent that email. I wish I had slept on it and realized that things happen. Again, I’m really sorry.

(end scene).

You have pooped where you eat. You could have used this opportunity to focus on being glad she didn’t get pancaked, and to COLLABORATE on how to eliminate the opportunity for a horse to even be able to touch hot wire while he’s eating (that’s crazy dangerous to me. if I dump feed at the instant he noses that wire, my 40+ years in horses and thousands upon thousands of feedings won’t keep me safe). This is what the focus should have been - once you settled down and let go of your ASSumption that her inexperience was to blame.

Honestly- I think they have decided you are a PITA boarder. Yeah, you have the ‘right’ to do what you did - but I’m afraid you’re going to harvest the fruits of your labors. I hope not, but you really messed up.

[findeight]

Yeah, never forget you are not talking about an employee with them, it is first and foremost the child of one of them. It was probably not wise to do anything but inquire about her safety and point out it’s a horse and shit can happen to anyone anytime.

If you can a accept the situation, that’ s great, its not going to change, they wont move the hotwire and DD will continue her on the job training. Plus they will have DDs back regardless. Its not a great dynamic. IME. BTDT.

If you are not comfortable or don’t fully trust them, look in another direction. And don’t stay because you think they are your friends and have only your best interests at heart. It is a service business and you are free to pick the one offering the most reliable service without guilt.

Keep us posted as this continues to evolve.

[Libby2563]

I think that your concerns about the setup and chore flow (an inexperienced handler blanketing loose horses while they’re eating within reach of hot wire) are reasonable. However, it’s also one of those things that people typically get away with hundreds of times before something goes wrong, so from the BOs’ perspective it may not seem that dangerous.

@J-Lu

She told me about this event and we both said she was very lucky and we talked about it.

^ This sounds like a productive interaction. Hopefully she learned to be more conscious of potential risks. This also would have been a good time for you to suggest to her that she halter horses for blanketing, or even just say something like, “That sounds scary! That’s why even though I’ve been around horses for XX years, I still put a halter on for blanketing. You never know when something might happen.”

@J-Lu

I replied that my horse is easy to blanket when he’s eating (and he just is all the time - they blanket and unblanket when they feed), I was talking about their inexperienced daughter, and that the only time he was hard to blanket was when the other of them tried to blanket him in a hurry and my horse took off running and fell to his knees.

Here’s where you got yourself in trouble, by overtly blaming the daughter for the current incident and also dredging up a past incident involving them blanketing your horse. I think if you want to smooth things over and stay at the barn, you’ll need to do as @GraceLikeRain suggested and approach the in-person conversation with some humility and a desire to collaborate for everyone’s safety, rather than point fingers.

@J-Lu

Since this has never happened in the previous 10 years (they’ve owned for 7), I’m going to assume their daughter new to blanketing/interacting horses was likely the cause.

To me, this is unreasonable. Bad sh!t happens to experienced handlers too, all the time. Throughout your post I’m getting a bit of a condescending vibe towards the BOs (“fairly new to horses,” “don’t do lessons or clinics,” etc). I might be wrong but I’m wondering if they pick up on some sense of superiority in real life? When they first bought the place I’m sure you were a great source of knowledge to them, but now in their eyes they’ve been running a successful horse business for seven years and no longer need your guidance. After all, they’re so great at riding that they don’t need lessons, right? Just saying, it’s a dynamic I’ve seen before with new-to-horses BOs who don’t know what they don’t know but want to be treated with respect by more experienced boarders. Between that attitude and them “hiring” a non-horsey relative to do chores, I can see this going downhill quickly and do think you should be scoping out other options.

[sparkygrace]

This discussion reminds me why I am so happy to not be boarding anymore. Someone else mentioned boarders pay for a service. Yet, boarders are supposed to kowtow to BOs or staff and tiptoe around problems. Sure, the OP could have been a bit more tactful knowing they were dealing with family dynamics. But to grovel to get back into their good graces is a bit too much.

It does not matter if the OPs horse is difficult. Good BOs or staff will know how to manage that horse. There is no one-size-fits-all when it come to caring for horses. In this situation, I would move no matter what. The BO is creating a bad situation and is taking it out on the OP. The paddock set-up does not sound ideal, either.

Of course, I know my opinion will be unpopular. I’ve boarded for over 50 years and have seen it all. Good barns, bad barns. Excellent managers, awful managers. There is no other “service” we pay for where we have to act like we have to constantly worry about being booted for bringing up a concern.

[endlessclimb]

@sparkygrace

Yet, boarders are supposed to kowtow to BOs or staff and tiptoe around problems.

That’s because there aren’t many good boarding barns left, and way way way too many boarders are outrageous with their demands (and many expect to not have to pay for the extras they ask for). You also have to be respectful that you’re on someone else’s property, and if you don’t like how they do things you’re free to leave.

[LCDR]

Start looking. My bet is that you are going to be told to leave. Just hope for a grace period if you haven’t already found an emergency layover spot.

Once, related to a BO couple divorce with husband getting the barn, the other woman immediately moved in with him and gave all perceived ex-wife allies one week to be gone. I saw it coming and had made exit plans already. You should too.

[sparkygrace]

I understand that, hence I keep my horses at home. Sadly, even at expensive high-end barns things get missed or mismanaged. I know from experience.The thing is, most people run a business on their property, whether they own it or rent it. Of course we can be kicked off a business’s property for misbehaving. I just don’t think pointing out a problem is misbehaving.

[endlessclimb]

If you or your horse is already labeled as destructive, difficult, etc., I think that’s where the problem comes in.

Easy horses and owners are a BOs best friend. If OPs horse is difficult and/or destructive, and THEN she emails the BO that an incident is their daughter’s fault - I can see how the color of the conversation would quickly take a turn.