Humourous sale ads...

[KitBC]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jeb:
Hey Kit! Your site has been on my Lust Only List for a while now. Great site, great horses! (Kit’s now thinking, “stop looking, start buying!”)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

LOL! It’s always nice when we sell a horse (wink, wink) ESPECIALLY with the holidays coming up, ya know!

Sarah/Trooper and Jeb, thanks for the compliments. It’s nice to know that you guys know our site!!

I can totally understand why people put in “Serious Inquiries Only”. Some of the emails we get are real doozies! Unfortunately, I think a “Serious” label only makes people more curious . . . !

[joliemom]

Flash is a smart horse with great potential. He is up to date with all shots and coggins. Flash is full of energy and just needs someone to ride him more than I have been able to. Has bucked me off one time and I have sadly decided to sell because I don’’’‘t have the time it takes to work with him. If someone out there has the time to work with this horse you wouldn’’’'t be sorry…because he is a very willing horse. So, if you are interested in giving him a good home please let me know.

Willing to buck?

Chuckling Jane

[Baltic_Sky]

What about the ad for the farm that wants you to retire your warmblood broodmares to them? Duh, if she was fit to be bred, I don’t think they would get her!! Would be fun to casually mention she had been spayed due to mood changes, wonder if they’d want her then…

[Dunhorse]

Unfortunatly I know what goat tieing is because a girl that boarded at a barn where I used to have my horses did it.
Basically, the rider gallops their horse up to a goat that is tied up to a steak. They have the horse do a stop like they would if they were calf roping (horse slides on butt) then jump off, run up to the goat, grab its flank and throw it down. Then they tie the goats legs up. Who ever doeas it fastest wins.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Poor goats!

[Starbucks]

LOL! My favorite was ‘Great horse! OTTB, off the track a year, jumping 2’ courses, great show prospect! A bargain!’

Not so funny in itself, except when I called about it–

The horse wasn’t there right now, they said. When asked why, he was running a race that weekend. HMMM. When asked about his 2’ courses, they replied he had been jumping small logs in his turnout pasture for fun. AND, when he was a baby, they said he had fallen in a storm and displaced a bone in his neck. They had fixed it, but he carried his head at a permanent tilt. He also got daily pain injections in his hocks and knees.

At least they were honest …

TB_33

[Anyplace_Farm]

Our favorite is always, “Sadly Outgrown”. But we always go, “Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaadly outgrown” as if we said, “My dog died.”

The other thing that is funny as heck is, for those of you who get it…in the Horse and Livestock Trader, I love the photo ads where they’ll take a picture of a herd of horses and then put, “Chestnut mare. 5 yrs. Broke to ride. Gentle. $1200.” And you’re lookin’ at the picture like, “Which damn horse is it?”

[HN73]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Anyplace Farm:
[B]Our favorite is always, “Sadly Outgrown”. But we always go, “Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaadly outgrown” as if we said, “My dog died.”

The other thing that is funny as heck is, for those of you who get it…in the Horse and Livestock Trader, I love the photo ads where they’ll take a picture of a herd of horses and then put, “Chestnut mare. 5 yrs. Broke to ride. Gentle. $1200.” And you’re lookin’ at the picture like, “Which damn horse is it?”[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

OMG I love the horse and livestock trader. Its HYSTERICAL. Some of the photos are just TOO much. I sometimes wonder what some of those people are thinking.

[ProzacPuppy]

This is going to sound clueless (and yes, I truly am as clueless as I seem) when someone says a horse is a good 3 or 4 foot hunter or jumper, what exactly does that mean? I looked at a lease horse and they said he was a nice 4 ft jumper. Explain please.

[ccoronios]

quote:

Originally posted by PamM: I guess that is why H/J people do not put a price in an ad, while it appears that many dressage horses are priced. Are they more honest than we are?

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Anyplace Farm:
Honey, Bill Clinton is more honest than we are! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Will you people STOP THIS??? Someday, I’m gonna get in trouble guffawing at my desk!

[Dunhorse]

This thread is hilarious!

One of the funniest sale ads that I have ever seen said something like this…5 yr old blue roan AQHA mare. 15 hh at the withers and 15.3 at the hip. Like it was a good thing!

Doesn’t seem like something to advertise to me.

I was looking through some ads the other day and found one that blew my mind. It was talking about a two year old and the ad read “Her naturally bad disposition has not been enhanced by her being abused as a youngster.”
Oh please! Let me buy her!

[ponygrl]

Well we aren’t sure what Figgy’s ad is going to read yet but it will probably be along the lines of:

“Bad news: 17 year old’s wet bar found. Good news: 4y/o TB event prospect on the cheap!”

or “4y/o 16.2hh TB gelding. grey. nice mover. owner off to college (or jail) in 6 months”

haha. they think they’re funny. I don’t particularly but thats because its my horse…

[Mazzy]

TB_33 that was funny! A post that even Colin or Heidi would be proud.

The one I hate most is the “Fabulous Amateur prospect”. “Done the children’s / adult ready to move up with the right rider.” Somehow the ready to move up (tried more than I care to count!) never are … ready that is and generally NEVER will be.

But my favorite:

“Sadly Outgrown” with a picture of tiny, pint sized child that can bearly reach the stirrups riding a LARGE pony. Why doesn’t it just read: unrideable for present owner, must sell before kills child.

[Lord_Helpus]

I always translate “Needs experienced rider” to “Has already sent 3 people to the hospital and our insurance company will not renew our policy until we get rid of this thing.”

Re: Serious Enquiries Only: Sad but true: I knew a trainer who would not have his client try a horse because the price had been put in the ad, so he could not jack up the price enough to build an addition to his house. I guess that is why H/J people do not put a price in an ad, while it appears that many dressage horses are priced. Are they more honest than we are?

[Bumpkin]

I thought Peter Pletcher was the “ultimate” hunter rider and trainer!
He was Hunter Rider of the year not too long ago, wasn’t he?
I have never met him, but have read some interviews with him and have heard wonderful things about his ability with top hunters.

[Medievalist]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Thoroughbred_33:
[B] What they might mean is not physically outgrown, but outgrown challenge wise … that the rider is ready for a horse that is more challenging.

TB_33[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, but they should have stated that instead of with the trusty “sadly outgrown” phrase When I see “sadly outgrown,” I want some growing!

How about when under color they got to the tiniest, most minute detail:

“Bright chestnut with a star the shape of africa, a little spot her neck about the size of an almond, one white leg that goes up to her knee, and one whit leg that only goes to her ankle”

[justme2]

kitBC…ohh, nice horsies…too bad you are so far away.

I am currently on the hunt and have had some funny experiences…

“Event or jumper prospect”…when I called to ask, the horse had only had about a week of training before she was bred! How do they know the potential…psychic I guess!

“Eventer/goes very fast and clean”…pictures showed hanging front end, but I was assured the horse didn’t jump like that all the time. And that though the dressage scores weren’t great, made up for it over fences. OK…then they went and rode the horse hard (3 hr hilly trail ride)the day before I was coming to see it, when it was only getting ridden lightly 2-3 times a week. Talk about a stiff moving horse. Watch video, not impressed, but take the video to my coach anyway…she laughs…this horse throws its self over the jumps, no talent.

It goes on and on…but am learning to read between the lines very well. Hope I find a good one, that I can afford, soon. Sigh

[Applesauce]

I love flipping through the horse and livestock trader. Love those picture ads that have a horse with some tiny little kid in the saddle that’s hardly big enough to walk. The ad will read along the lines of “quiet, but needs experienced rider…”
and those people are putting thier toddlers on those horses???

Gotta love the heard photos too where it’ll read “5-6 sound Quarter horses. All aged between 3-10 years old. Your pick for $750.”

[pinkhorse]

Quote:
Gotta love the heard photos too where it’ll read “5-6 sound Quarter horses. All aged between 3-10
years old. Your pick for $750.”

Yep, these are the nice horses that the dealer goes to and picks up the younger ones and sells them to people at barns like ours for $2000. We train 'em up, have a few great years on and sell them for a nice profit to people who are more show oriented than we are. One such horse (actually a TB) popped up to 3rd or 4th in the nation in the green conf a few years ago.

Don’t overlook a bargain.

[Sitting_Bull]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MAZ:
[B]TB_33 that was funny! A post that even Colin or Heidi would be proud.

The one I hate most is the “Fabulous Amateur prospect”. “Done the children’s / adult ready to move up with the right rider.” Somehow the ready to move up (tried more than I care to count!) never are … ready that is and generally NEVER will be.

But my favorite:

“Sadly Outgrown” with a picture of tiny, pint sized child that can bearly reach the stirrups riding a LARGE pony. Why doesn’t it just read: unrideable for present owner, must sell before kills child. [/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Oh my god I’ve seen those exact pony ads lol

[Anyplace_Farm]

<BLOCKQUOTE class=“ip-ubbcode-quote”><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PamM:
I guess that is why H/J people do not put a price in an ad, while it appears that many dressage horses are priced. Are they more honest than we are?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Honey, Bill Clinton is more honest than we are!