He must be obedient. If he is in pain, he can limp! Not if his back hurts. That why he fusses when you saddle him. That’s probably why he reared when you got on him. Get off my horse.
No Mrs. Client, he’s just a naughty horse. You are just the Amateur, you know nothing. Your opinion doesn’t matter. I am THE TRAINER-I will tell you about your horse. GET OFF MY HORSE.
Sick and tired of trainers. They only want client’s with money, a big piece of tape over their mouth, and the will to serve the trainer. Few really “train”; They owe any success to time in the saddle. My horse jumps better when I do it on my own. Just owning and riding and wanting to take lessons leaves me stuck at the lowest end of the business. Unless i have millions of dollars, a vet degree, or immense natural riding ability, and a “sell it if it bats an eye wrong attitude”, I will never be able to enjoy my horse. I hate horse trainers. I’ve already changed barns. I’ve ridden with the tops in the market and the lowest end-so no, that’s not the answer. Big show barns are the worst. People who THINK they are a show barn, ha ha ha. Worser than worse.
My ma (now long gone) grew up in a home with “staff.” Her education included dealing with household staff. While that lifestyle is long gone, much of what she learned is still relevant. YOUR TRAINER IS PAID BY YOU! He/she works for u. He is not ur friend. Always keep that in mind when dealing with staff. Tell the trainer what u expect. Correct him if he doesn’t follow ur instructions. Dismiss him if it is a continual problem. Keep the relationship professional. Same with anyone else whom u pay. People work for u.
I don’t follow H/J as much but over in eventing and dressage land, more and more trainers are public about their horsemanship practices.
Where I have my three year old with a trainer, it is explicitly written in the contract that training will not begin until the horse is free of pain. If there is any question, the trainer will not proceed until the vet, equine dentist, and body worker concur and there is a plan to address any issues.
So they’re not all like this. You can find a good one.
As someone who has a minimum or four or five contractors on a constant rotation across several properties, not to mention the lawn guy, the snow removal guy, the plumber, the never ending list, plus a trainer and farrier for the horse, I can tell you that this is 100% the ABSOLUTE OPPOSITE of the way I do business.
My rules for myself are
learn and use everyone’s name, down to every employee of the contractor
use the names, find something to compliment every time ("[x] looks great! you guys are doing such a great job!")
respect the contractor’s time, always ask “if they have availability for” XYZ request
pay promptly
tip often
bring snacks and coffee
give referrals, but only good ones.
You too can go through life wordlessly skipping the breakfast sandwich line simply by making eye contact with Brandon, you too can have Gideon the plumber show up on two hours notice on a Saturday morning even though you have assured him this particular job isn’t urgent, you to can have the title company shave 6 weeks off an ETA on title when the seller’s attorney forgot to order title for two months, and you too can have the employee of your best contractor who guts and renos every house for you say “You’re the only person [who isn’t a regular property management client] that he makes extra time for.”
Believe me, I have ZERO compunctions firing bad or useless contractors and I am not afraid of conflict, but the good ones get treated like absolute gold all the way down to the new kid putting up drywall.
I learned this navigating the horse industry well before I ever became a landlord.
Treating people like they’re your household servants is NEVER the way to go.
Oh, and. My parents had staff. One day my brother, at the time in his 50’s, came home for the holidays and walked through the kitchen without saying hi to Wanda, who was my parent’s housekeeper at the time. Wanda was so hurt by this snub (which knowing my brother, was probably unintentional) that she asked my Dad “Why Mr. Mark no say hi?”
Mark got a talking to from Dad, and Wanda got an apology from Mark.
My parents did not give a daddy macshizzle if I did co-ed naked pool parties in highschool and started floating rum and cokes in the pool at 2 o clock in the morning but so help us baby Jesus if we walked in a room and didn’t greet whoever was in it. They had SOME standards.
You sound surprised?
Having been involved with competitive equine sports for quite a few decades, I’ll say here that things have changed. It used to be that clients were taught to ride and train horses and become horsemen, to the best of their ability. Then I started to watch clients being kept “dependent” on their coaches, being kept as “clients” instead of becoming horsemen in their own right. Often, the coach would keep the client just a little bit “unsure”, lacking confidence without the trainer/coach being present to hold their hand. Unable to go to a horseshow without the coach being present. Being told that the coach needed to do regular “training rides” to “keep the horse compliant”. That the client was a client only, not a horseman or rider in their own right- because that would mean a loss of income for the coach. Maybe some people are OK with this, or even “enjoy” it this way. Others come to see through it, in time, and like you, are not happy.
OP, you can learn something from everyone, even if that something is something that you don’t want to do yourself. You may not need to ride with a coach as a full time client, but spread yourself around a bit, experience a number of different inputs from different coaches. Select your coaches carefully, watch their clients and their clients horses compete at the shows. Approach the coach you see as a good horseman, who puts the wellbeing of the horse first, and who gives positive advice to their riders that result in skilled riders and happy, expressive horses, not robotic riders and robotic horses. It’s pretty easy to attend a horse show and make these judgements just by watching. There are probably still a few around who actually do help their riders become horsemen in their own right, and become trainers and coaches in their own right, with skill. Attend some horse shows, and just watch the coaches and riders present. See how the coaches interact with their clients. Look for the skilled riders being given good advice, and the happy and athletic horses performing well. When you see something you like, go get a lesson from that coach. Maybe once a week, or once a month, or in a local weekend clinic. Take from this what you feel works for you and your horse, and discard that which you don’t like. You belong to no one but yourself, and answer to no one but yourself. You solve your own problems and are responsible for your own mistakes. With good input from a good coach or clinician every now and again, success can be found if you have some innate talent.
Good luck!
A good trainer or coach is an expert consultant. They can offer up suggestions, opinions and ideas that help you and your horses progress in training and knowledge. One does not have to agree 100% with the trainer or coach to have a good working relationship. It should be a dialogue, with questions and explanations. If you find that you disagree most of the time with your trainer or coach, or they are not helping you and your horse progress in a positive healthy way, maybe time to find a new one. I find, as an owner and rider, the responsibility is on ME to learn, be the best horse person I can be and try my hardest to do what the experts tell me is best. If I don’t agree I ask questions and do research. Knowledge is power. Knowledge will also help you find a trainer and coach you respect and who can help you.
This is not my experience AT ALL. I’m old. I’ve ridden for decades. Yes, I’ve had some undesirable and potentially crooked trainers. But mostly, my trainers were decent people who loved horses and tried to do their best. I’ve ridden with top level show barns, local level traveling instructors, and everything in between. Although I have very modest show aspirations and budget, I’ve been treated respectfully across the years.
If you have tried SO MANY trainers and you hate them all, maybe you need to consider the common denominator and look within.
If this is TRULY your experience and you’ve never once found a trainer who was helpful, competent, compassionate, or kind, then I do feel sorry for you.
But…
At some point, one has to look at the common denominator and look inward.
That’s sad, but why? I enjoy my horse when I am with him, I enjoy him for who and what he is, not what I wish he was, or even hoped he was when I bought him.
I have a former client who moved to a different province. She has been shocked/disappointed by the barns/coaches. From one who gas lit her into thinking she was over reacting to her horse being pokey (he was eventually diagnosed with Lyme), then a barn where they tried to steal her saddle after the barn burned down, and now a barn where they sort of nod and smile when she tells them what her horse needs, and then do what they want - although that seems to be improving. It just seems that some areas cater to different types of clients, or that their is a void of quality? My area seems to have a wide variety…which is good.
@CHT you are running an adult low key H/J barn in Alberta, right? In the middle of ranch horse world. Western riders are often more DIY (except maybe at very top competition levels), and in ranch country more likely to be exposed to horses kept at home and more casual handling of horses. That could help foster a climate where owners feel more confident taking hold of their horse’s care and self educating (or not). Whereas in a more urban or less horsey place owners might feel more mystified.
I had a horse in self care as a teen, learned to do everything with no intelligent adult help, and ended up in self board again as a returning rider. I’ve got a trainer friend with a boarding barn, and I’ve had my horse out there for stints when I’ve needed time out. I’m always amazed at how tentative boarders can be about the basics of horse care.
This is not how you treat household staff.
This is definitely not how you treat your trainer, who is a business owner with the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason.
Huh. All the trainers I know have a full program with a waiting list. Problem clients get asked to leave and their spot is filled within the week. Hardly seems comparable to household staff who may be your employee.
While your trainer is paid by you it’s never a good idea to treat anyone like ‘staff’.
Treat your employees well and they will treat you well.
As a trainer, if one of my clients started telling me what to do and not to do, I’d tell them it sounded like they didn’t actually need my help. There’s a difference between saying ‘hey, I’d prefer if Dobbin isn’t ridden in a slow twist’ and giving commands.
