I just found my cat dead, and I am feeling very guilty

[Vindicated]

My cats spend most of their time in the basement. Their kitty boxes, food and water are all down there, as well as their cat toys, scratching posts and trees.

My oldest cat was found dead by my son this morning when he went downstairs to play with “his cat”. We have had him at our house for 8 years, I had custody of him 3-4 years prior to that (barn cat) at the time I got him he was at least 2. By our calculations, he was at least 14.

I had not seen him in a few days, they have an auto waterer & auto feeder.

No excuses, I have been busy and I have not made time to hang out with them much in the last few weeks.

He certainly did not seem ill the last time I saw him. He always demands to be picked up and cuddled. He was at minimum 15 lbs-so a bit overweight.

He was very stiff and cold, but my husband is pretty sure he was walking around yesterday morning.

Anyway, I am feeling a lot of guilt, A) he died alone (with his cat buddies) B) I have not spent much time with him lately.

We don’t have cats die too often-the last one was 8 years ago. And she was very old and decrepit. Cats do occasionally just drop dead, right?

[JanM]

Don’t feel guilty. Animals try to hide it when they’re sick, especially cats. It could have been a sudden, died in his sleep condition, instead of something that would have shown symptoms too. He died loved, and well cared for, and with people who loved him.

Hugs for you and your family.

[cutter99]

A 14 year old cat is a cat who has lived a long, long life even at indoor standards, and especially at outdoor standards. You must have given him a great life for him to have lived this long!

I am so sorry for your loss! Please do not be too hard on yourself!

[Simkie]

I’m so sorry about your kitty

A very common cause of sudden death in kitties is hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, and I lost one late last year to this. I was there when Aloe died, and it was very quick. There is nothing that can be done, and there are usually absolutely no warning signs. Entirely possible HCM is why your kitty died. Please don’t beat yourself up–it sounds like he had a wonderful life.

[Drive_NJ]

SOOOOOO sorry to hear about your kitty

most likely he had some condition that he succumbed to - maybe a stroke or heart attack

We have had a rough year losing cats - and one of them was a stroke - she just never got up

Just give the rest of your cats some extra loving so they know you care and so you take in their love

if you were not seeing a sick kitty - you were obviously giving them good care if not a lot of attention

[Vindicated]

I appreciate the thoughts. I am going to miss him terribly. He was a great cat. Very loving and accepting. My other cats are more cat like, this one was a lap cat. My son is very upset to lose his cat, when my son was a baby-I always had the feeling I could probably leave the cat to babysit. We always supervised thwm together but the cat was always with the baby awake or sleeping. Many years later, my son would still pick up all 15lbs of him and carry him all over.

[Callista17]

So sorry, and I understand. I had a VERY skittish cat that I noticed was missing, FINALLY found him behind/inside the back a cabinet. Picking him up, I felt he lost weight and instantly felt crappy. Took the 6 year old in to the vet- lymphoma. I tried to keep him separated to eat, but that wasn’t fair to keep him locked up…I dug him out of cupboards, under beds, out of closets, for a week because the vet thought his medicine would kick in and he’d feel himself. Early one morning I knew, and sure enough, few hours later he passed away. I feel a little guilty taking him to the vet a few times for meds, and trying to force feed him… You do what he can, but he was comfortable, warm, safe, had food and water…

[LesleyW]

I hope this comes out the right way…
Lost one of my beloved siamese last month. He’d been sick on and off for years. I estimate I spent close to $5,000 in vet bills on him in the last ten years. His last day was horrible, and I beat myself up all the way to the emergency clinic to have him put down. I wish it had been different because it haunts me.
It sounds like your guy was a healthy, happy kitty who went peacefully when it was his time. Hugs to you.

[Marshfield]

I am sorry for your loss. I can, in complete honesty as an ER vet, tell you that cats can and do drop dead with no discernible warning from heart disease. It is unlikely that you would have seen anything to alert you to his impending demise.

[Laurierace]

Doesn’t sound like you have any reason to feel guilty to me. Sorry for your loss.

[SquishTheBunny]

First off, my condolences. The good ones never really live long enough

Cats hide illness very well. There could have been somethin underlying like heart disease that can creep up really fast. Sounds like he never suffered and although it’s hard to see the value in that now, it really is the best way to go. Hugs

[JBD]

[QUOTE=LesleyW;8274875]
I hope this comes out the right way…
Lost one of my beloved siamese last month. He’d been sick on and off for years. I estimate I spent close to $5,000 in vet bills on him in the last ten years. His last day was horrible, and I beat myself up all the way to the emergency clinic to have him put down. I wish it had been different because it haunts me.
It sounds like your guy was a healthy, happy kitty who went peacefully when it was his time. Hugs to you.[/QUOTE]

This^. Last year we waited too long for our 18 year old cat with failing kidneys. It honestly was a timing issue as we didn’t want to put her down right before I went out of town and when I got back it was a holiday weekend. We ended up going to the ER clinic and it was bad. I don’t know why we made such crappy decisions and feel guilty about not giving her a out while she still had some quality of life.

Your kitty passed at home and with no warning. Nothing to beat yourself up about so try to find some peace

[MKV]

I adopted a love of a cat from the vet clinic where I was working at the time. He was a stray who was hit by a car - a Good Samaritan brought him in - his pelvis felt like a bag of marbles but otherwise he was in fairly good shape minus a mild heart murmur. When he was healthy enough I brought him home. He was such a great cat. He was with me for about 8 months when my housemate (a vet student) took him into the school for a dental checkup. Out of nowhere he ended up in cardiac arrest - suspected hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. All of my vet friends said it could have happened at anytime, anywhere (like at home alone). So at least it happened when he was at one of the best vet schools in the country. They gave him a poor prognosis so I opted for euthanasia. Anyway, sometimes cats die without warning…it’s sad but it happens. I’m sorry about the loss of your kitty. Please don’t beat yourself up!

[saultgirl]

Sorry for your loss – I agree with the others, it doesn’t seem like you have anything to be guilty about!

Hang in there!

[MoonWitch]

OP - I’m there with you.

We knew our boy, Ray was in failing health, and we suspected renal failure, which took his sister a month earlier. He went down much quicker than her, so we opted not to take him to the vet last night, but instead let him pass in my arms. It took about two hours for him to go, but I’m still grateful that he died at home, surrounded by love and kisses. I beat myself up, but we do what we feel is best at the time, and there is really no “good” answer to a really “sucky” situation.

Wishing you peace…

[mvp]

Kitteh!

With cats and their cultural/spiritual tradition of going off to die alone, almost every cat lover is going to face your situation, sooner or later. But they do choose that, and I’m not sure whether a cat dying with me is so much better. I know I make up that I’d somehow make that better. But I could be lying to myself.

Of course, hearing about a kind, accepting cat who a kid was into as his own…… that melts my heart. And was he big and short-hair to boot? Kitteh!

[Vindicated]

Thanks guys, while the guilt is still here-I am not beating myself up as badly.
I also feel quite guilty because: for the last several weeks I have put off cleaning our basement and moving some furniture around. My plan was to move an old recliner into the “cat room” so that they could come sit with me ect.
I was busy, but it was not anything that could not have waited. If I had taken the time to rearrange the basement, I would have had some more quality time with him.

I got everything done last night, after I buried him. Sat in the relocated chair-with my remaining cats all sitting on my lap, acutely felt his absence.

[cayuse]

Oh Vindicated, I am so sorry.
To answer your question, yes kitties can just “drop.”. My cat Zeke did exactly that. He was an indoor cat that we had for about sixteen years and one morning, my husband and I were getting dressed and Zeke ran up to me and gave a little cry and then turned and ran towards my husband and did the same thing, it was an odd cry so we followed him and he jumped on the sofa and was gone. That fast. He was there and then he was gone. It was shocking in it’s suddenness, he was old but appeared healthy. The vet said it was probably a stroke.
I can say that he did not seem to suffer, and from his first cry to the time he was gone was about a minute. So they can just go like that.
Please give your son a hug from us, our kitty was a lap cat too.

[Leather]

So sorry for the loss of your kitteh.

[QUOTE=Vindicated;8274790]
Cats do occasionally just drop dead, right?[/QUOTE]

Yes. Last fall my seemingly perfectly healthy 7 year old Ragdoll died in his sleep one night.

The morning it happened I got up and was eating my breakfast when I realized that Howie wasn’t pestering me. I found him on the bedroom floor in his usual sleeping position.

My vet said that it was likely a heart attack, but as others have said it’s a thickening of the heart muscle rather than the typical human type heart attack.

http://www.vetmed.wsu.edu/ClientED/hcm.aspx

It is very difficult to diagnose without an ultrasound or chest x-ray, and they often show no signs.

“Lethargy” can be one symptom, but how in the world can you tell if something that sleeps 16 hours a day is lethargic?

[ChristinaClarLuisa]

Vindicated, I’m so sorry.
Please please don’t beat yourself up–it sounds like the cat was well-loved and cared for. And who of us can intuit everything that goes on in those furry sweet bodies and strange cat brains?
We just lost one, still dealing with “why didn’t we notice sooner/did we let him go too soon/did we leave it to late/maybe we should have tried XYZ.”
They know when you love them. I think we can count on that.:yes: