I ran over the Easter Bunny!!!! (not for the squeamish)

[PeriwinkleBlue]

Let’s see - all my roadkill stories are from Texas…not surprising, I guess. LOL
Once on my way to work I startled a flock of buzzards feeding on a carcass - they all exploded out of the grass, and one of them was stupid enough to fly right in front of me. I wasn’t going very fast, but it was fast enough for that bird to CRASH into the windshield, leaving a spiderweb two feet across! The bird spiraled off into the bushes and I never saw it again. I sure as heck wasn’t stopping to help a BUZZARD!
Another time it was late at night and a possum ran in front of me. I HATE possums - they’re nasty disease ridden creatures and I decided not to swerve. Only, at the last second, I chickened out! Unfortunately, it was too late - I went bump bump…end of possum. It may have been nasty but I still felt awful!
There was also the cardinal, as I was driving home one day…wide open road - no cars around…I was going the speed limit (70 mph) and this flash of red comes swooping in front of me. I hit the brakes but didn’t swerve, but didn’t see it reappear. Several hours later, I got home, took stuff out of the car and was going back for another load and saw a poor pathetic little bundle of feathers in my grill. Talk about feeling guilty!

My sister has a story too - she was driving her big Suburban home one day, when a deer dashed out of the woods, in front of her vehicle. She hit the brakes, came to a full stop, as did the deer, which promptly sauntered off the road ahead of her. She was accelerating, thinking the danger was past, when the deer CHANGED its mind, whipped around and ran smack into the SIDE of her vehicle, breaking its neck and killing itself instantly! Who says the dingbats don’t have a deathwish?
They had venison for supper.

---

“Because he dodges bullets, Avi!!”

[shmon]

I was reading some of these to my bf, when he broke out in a Phish song:

“Possum…possum…your head is the ROAD!”

and of course, my favorite:
“You got your dead cats and you got your dead dogs, on a moonlit night you got your dead toad frogs” - “Dead skunk in the middle of the road”

[TSWJB]

i was comming home from the barn late. 10pm. i got off the highway and a bunny darted right under my wheels. i ran him over! i felt so bad. but it was dangerous to stop the car. so i called my friends but no one was home. so i turned the car around and went back. he was smashed. i was crying. the bunny was dead. i did scape him off the road with a stick, so no one would run him over again. now i see him on my ride to work. i feel so bad that i am thinking of burying him. i can’t believe someone else did this too.

[PeriwinkleBlue]

Maggymay, I am LMAO! The mental picture of the poor hapless pigeon and the hungry hawk is absolutely hysterical!
Thank you for making my day!
Yes, folks, I am sick. I’m getting it looked into, don’t worry.

---

“Because he dodges bullets, Avi!!”

[Blinky]

Sorry for the bunny.

What area is it that bull frogs come out in droves-yuck.

[brilyntrip]

just reminded me of when I lived on the eastern shore of md.I was driving back from judging I think on the western shore it was like 2 am and I was in Gawds country fog etc outta no where a deer canters into my car glances off .I am shaking heart throbbing the whole bit . Pull off the road get out look at my car , nothing look around a bit no deer. I literally had to pull in ot the nearest parking lot in a tiny town and sit there for 30 minutes shaking.

[a_o]

Merry, just like Moesha! Isn’t he the one that’s forever swerving around random naked people in the road?

Anyone drive in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan? The western side is without question group animal suicide land. Like lemmings near a cliff! You literally zig-zag down the road, swerving around all the little pairs of eyes jumping toward you…

I ran into a wall once without even swerving around any little critters. My bad. My mom was in the car and oh so pleased…

[M_O_Connor]

My dad once swerved to miss a bunny. The bunny got away. The Blazer in the other lane didn’t, and his truck was totaled! He was carted off to the hospital, minor cuts and bruises…his truck was loaded onto a flatbed trailer…meanwhile back at the barn…my lesson didn’t show up…didn’t call…we were about to go home, when they pull into the driveway, jump out of the car and start shouting: “OMG! This MAN swerved to miss a RABBIT, and HIT US!!! We’re lucky to be ALIVE!!! WE COULD HAVE ALL BEEN KILLED!!!” Then dead silence and puzzled (she noticed I was wearing a shirt with my dad’s business logo on it…) …“HE had a shirt just like YOURS!!!”

[AKDragooPhoto]

I totally pancaked a chipmunk, both tires. I felt it in the steering wheel. What I can’t believe is the drivers who hit people and say they never felt anything. How lubricated are they?

[Court]

This is a great thread but I think that my absolute favorite is Inlaws that should be outlawed HAHA found it!! See you guys! I am going bumping now!!!

Courtney
Jack ~On the Rocks~ PLEASE
Momo ~Just My Luck~

A woman only needs two animals in her life… the horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it!

[This message was edited by Court@HJ-OH on Apr. 10, 2002 at 08:03 PM.]

[msj]

Just be thankful it wasn’t a deer. You would have had more than a smashed headlight and probably wouldn’t have been able to drive home. Hubby would have been thrilled tho.

PS. This response is NOT meant to be funny or sarcastic.

msj

[Medievalist]

Has it really been a year? How time flies when you’re having fun.

A friend of mine who works for the local fire department told me this one the other day. A guy on the exit ramp of the highway hits a wild boar. Since wild boars are a protected species here, he was facing a whopping big fine for whacking and killing the wild porker. Thus, he quickly loaded the full grown wild boar(i.e. the size of a large hog) into his car where he figured he would take the boar a dispose of it in a place more discrete than the side of a highway off ramp.

Up to now, it all sounds logical and normal. Slight law breaking by avoiding his fine, but whatever. The only problem was that the boar wasn’t dead! We’re talking about an animal that puts the tazmanian devil to shame. Big big teeth and really pissed off…more pissed off then normal because he found himself in a car. The boar wakes up while the guy is driving, kills the guy, and destroys the car, and escapes into the woods.

Now that is a roadkill story, where the everyone but the animal would have been better off if the animal had just died!

Medievalist

[AMom]

I ran over a cat over ten years ago on my way home from a “date” (I was 16 and it wasn’t much of a date, more dinner and watching tv), but, nonetheless, I was on cloud nine–until…

Kitty runs out onto the El Camino (four lane road) and right in front of me No time to stop and can’t swerve because of oncoming traffic.

Cat was very dead and I cried all the way home where I then threw up. Way to end a great date!!

[WhiteTiger]

I must admit I have laughed harder in the last 20 minutes than I have in awhile. It is amazing how time can change perspective.

Monday my friends horse stepped on a turkey sleeping in the grass, the horse did 180 and she came off. She was wearing her helmet and is okay.

On page 3 a/o asked if anyone has driven in the Upper Pininsula of Michigan. I am originally from the western end and moved back for a couple of years as a result I have an uncanny ability to spot critters on the edges of the roads, fields etc., anyway, my dad was going to school at MTU and coming home weekends. One weekend he had car trouble so my mom went to get him. By the time she got there the car was fixed and they came home together seperatly. On the way home my mom hits a deer with her car, 20 minutes later a deer runs out in front of my dad and he hits it with his car. For 3 or 4 years we had been back and 3 of us driving at all hours hadn’t hit a deer and then wham 2 deer with 2 cars 20 minutes apart. The story made our small town paper.

A/O and Goodyfourshoes are right about all the eyes peering at you, you really have to keep yours open.

[DMK]

Well, of course I will VT, but that is because I come equipped with authentic cajun voodoo charms.
You think SU’s magic is powerful stuff? Heh heh heh heh…

Muhahahahahaaha

[Goodyfourshoes]

This thread always comes back to haunt me…just like the vision of the bunny stuck to my grill.

To prove there IS karma - the bunny-killing station wagon’s engine imploded on the highway this past summer, so bugs got his bit in.

To this day, when my hubby calls me at work, he says “hey killer, how’s it going?”. He and his family will never let me forget it, because they hunt and I have never been a fan. And there I go and do that!!!

[Louise]

OMG I did the stall door thing on a mouse one time. I was sick for a week.

[Jynx]

Years ago my boyfriend and I decided to get married the following Tuesday on his birthday. At work on Wednesday, a computer tape fell out of a rack and hit me above the lip. I got sent to a doctor (“NO stiches-I’m eloping netxt week!”) but since flesh was missing I got sent to a plastic surgeon. She put four tiny little stitches in my lip (and congratulated me on my up-coming elopement- “we’ll take the stitches out the day before”). I notify boyfriend. After work, I head out to feed the horse. It’s toward the end of November, very dark already, I’m in four lanes of traffic and a kamikaze deer jumps out in front of my car. I pull over, deer is twitching in the road. A cop comes, sees the stitches in my lip, and asks if I was hurt. I’m more worried about the still-twitching deer. The cop asks if I want it. Yeah, I’ll just grab my knife in my teeth and wade in dressed in my skirt and heels and field dress it. (I told him to give it to charity or anything.) Very calmly I file my report. Very calmly I drive the smashed car home. I get into the apartment, take one look at BF, and break down sobbing “I killed Bambi’s mother!”

It took a trip to the parking lot for him to figure out what the heck his soon-to-be-bride was hysterical about.

[dublin]

anyone remember that song, ‘Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road’???

Here’s what Arizona Highway personnel did when they came across roadkill…

[JumperEq]

Okay, please keep in mind while reading this that I’ve had my drivers license since Oct. 14, 2000. Anywho, apparently animals see my Explorer as a way to quickly end their sad little lives.

First incident was driving home from the Secretary of the State’s office ON my birthday…I kill a little bird. Now, I heard the little thump sound it made…I thought that that was bad enough…but NOOO. I get out of my car when I get to my friend’s house and its head is stuck in the grill of my car, neck well…not bending in a good looking way, and feet twitching. This sends me to instant tears and I run into my friends house and make him go remove the…remains.

Then, the next day, I’m driving my friend home at night and I see a possum crossing the road. Normally I wouldn’t feel bad about hitting any old possum, but this was a baby lookin one and I would feel bad for it. So, Im going like 20 miles an hour and this thing seriously makes a mad dash for my front left tire. Knowing what was eventually going to happen, my friend and I start screaming (it was my girliest moment ever) and we pick our feet up. Why I do not know, maybe we wouldn’t feel the bumps?? lol…so anywho, I turn around to see if maybe it survived. The poor thing was smashed from the middle of its back so its tail and pulling itself with its front legs the rest of the way across the road… I went my other friends house (yes, the one that pulled the bird outta my car) and had him go finish it off. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. You should’ve seen the look it gave me!

Since then I’ve hit 4 more possums…yes, that’s 5 possums in 6 months folks. I’ve also killed one or two squirrels. I’m still not desensitized.

OH! And tonight on my way home from work, I almost hit a deer. It was running out of the woods and in the process of jumping over the ditch when I saw it. I slammed on my brakes and swerved…my trusty car went sideways as the deer stopped, looked at me, and trotted back into the woods. I just sat there for a minute and continued on my way.

Maybe I should look into public transportation??

~~Erin B~~

[This message was edited by JumperEq on Apr. 11, 2001 at 11:58 PM.]