I think I want to be done, how do I safely sell my mare?

[BayMareGrl]

I’ve had my mare two years and it’s been anything but easy, nothing that is her fault. She ended up with a suspensory strain about 6 months after I bought her then I ended up in a bad car accident and a year later still recovering from my injury. During the suspensory we discovered she had mild spots of kissing spine which don’t seem to impact her soundness. We think the suspensory was from bad shoeing.

My mare is 9 year old OTTB who requires a lot of turnout and in the midwest that’s hard to come by. She’s nearly an hour from me. I work full time so it’s extremely difficult to make it out during the week. The barn isn’t the greatest and to be in a nice place closer to my house I’m looking at minimum $900. I’ve been in so much pain the past year due to the accident that my confidence is extremely low and I’m afraid of getting hurt. I’m extremely stressed out all of the time and really thinking it’s time to let go of this part of my life. She’s currently in training, flatwork only as I was wanting to learn dressage.

How do I make that decision and not feel guilt or like I gave up? How do I find my mare a good home knowing her physical issues? She also is anxious and stall walks. I would only sell her to a forever home but I was going to be her forever home so nothing is guaranteed. Maybe I shouldn’t give up yet? I just don’t know anymore but I know I am miserable and I want to do right by my mare.

[SuzieQNutter]

I would say the easiest thing is to ask your instructor to sell her for you. You would have to pay a commission.

As you have found out you could not be a forever home. So you cannot ask that from someone else.

The good ones will keep her. The bad ones will tell you what you want to hear and do the opposite.

Let your instructor weed them out.

[2DogsFarm]

Sorry this turned out badly for you.
I hope you can return to good health
For your mare:
I’m in the Midwest too (NW IN) & turnout is available at most barns near me & s/b in IL too (where I boarded when I lived in Chgo).
Where are you located where it’s a problem?
How rideable is your mare?
If she’d be suitable for a Therapeutic program, you can contact Reins of Life - based in South Bend, with a barn in Michigan City.
They will buy her if she can fit their programs - they offer riding & Driving.

[TWH_Girl]

Definitely have the trainer sell her. You will take a loss but it will take the stress of selling her off your hands. Most trainers have a commission fee they take off sale price so be sure to ask and get all of that figured out ahead of time so there are no surprises.

You sound very emotional right now which is not a good time to make a decision. Your title is I “think” I want to be done. Probably need more soul searching before you are fully ready to do this. Don’t rush yourself or put so much pressure on yourself to figure it out, especially if she’s in training.

[RedHorses]

It’s okay to sell your horse. If your body heals, and your confidence recovers, and you feel like riding again, you can do that too. It’s okay to recognize that maybe the risk of personal injury with this horse is too high for you right now. It’s okay to find someone else who can enjoy your mare. Selling isn’t necessarily the end of your horse life. You can figure that part out later. Do what you need to do for yourself. Whatever that looks like.

You’re not giving up on her.

[trubandloki]

Excellent post @RedHorses!

@BayMareGrl, Talk to your trainer about your options for selling your mare. Tell your trainer that you are more concerned about a good home than making money, as you want Mare to be happy.

Jingles for your healing and your life becoming more settled. Your accident injuries sound horrible to deal with.

[Janet]

Are you (g) sure she HAS a “trainer” who is competent to sell the horse?

[trubandloki]

@Janet

Are you (g) sure she HAS a “trainer” who is competent to sell the horse?

We are only sure of what the OP told us and we are offering advice.

If the OP does not have a trainer that can sell her horse the OP can let us know that.

I am sure the OP would love other ideas.

[BayMareGrl]

Thank you for commenting. I’m in the suburbs of Chicago. Most barns only have turnout for about 4-6 hours a day. She’s out 8-10 where she’s at but it’s almost an hour from me. She wouldn’t be suitable for therapeutic program as she is a bit spooky and forward.

[BayMareGrl]

You are right, I am very emotional and am afraid of making a decision I will regret. I’m debating on possibly finding someone to lease her, give me more time to get my health back and maybe my confidence too.

[BayMareGrl]

Thank you. I’ve spent the last year in severe pain and am finally starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s been a long road which is why I’m not sure riding is risk I want to take anymore. I am going to talk to my trainer. I know I’ll never get back what I put into her so far but I just want her to have a safe, good home, it’s most important. I’m thinking of possibly finding someone to lease as well that way I can retain ownership. There are so many horror stories of horses ending up in bad places, it keeps me up at night. I would forever wonder what happened to her and would never forgive myself if she ended up in a bad place.

[BayMareGrl]

Thank you, I know you’re right. I never imagined something like this would happen and I would have to make a decision like this.

[trubandloki]

Leasing is a great idea if you can find someone to do that.

[GraceLikeRain]

Something that’s uncomfortable but important to consider is that there may be very limited resale value for an unproven 9 year old mare who is anxious, stall walks, has an old suspensory, and only received general flatwork style training.

Objectively, how well does your trainer progress horses and riders? Do they have a strong network? If they have a sale horse how long are they on the market?

There’s a market for a rock solid general on the flat horse who can pop over little fences and trail ride. There’s a market for anxious athletic dressage horses with stall vices. Your mare is in a middle ground that can be hard to navigate.

I’d consider sending her to another barn, even if it is further away very explicitly outlining your goals, budget, and understanding of a reasonable timeline. I do not think your mare as outlined in your original post is a candidate to be a paid lease. Typically, people do a paid lease when a horse is able to do at or more than their current level.

[BayMareGrl]

You summarized it perfectly and this is why I’m anxiety ridden. I know there isn’t a strong market for her. She is learning basic dressage. With the stall vice and old suspensory, I’m not sure how we would market her. When I bought her, I didn’t know anything of the stall vice which is unfortunate because it’s not possible the previous owner didn’t know. I would consider a care lease but most people want to jump. I don’t know that she would be a good trail horse. Shes done fine when ridden on small trails with a buddy. A lot to consider. It’s a tough spot to be in.

[TWH_Girl]

I actually did just that! It gave me time to make the same decision but I was in a much better frame of mind to make it so I didn’t have regrets.
I sold only one horse and this last summer his owner found me and I was reunited with him. He lives about a half hour away and is happy and well cared for. It’s a really good ending but I’m glad I waited until I was ready. Financially it was a loss but knowing he has a good landing was worth it.

[candyappy]

There are no forever homes ( as you found out) because we can’t control what happens in our lives.

The best thing you can do to find her a real good home is to let a good trainer get her going so she is ridable and safe. Yes, you will have to pay the trainer and a commission on the sale but it gives her a good chance at the right person finding her.

[TheHotSensitiveType]

@BayMareGrl

How do I make that decision and not feel guilt or like I gave up? How do I find my mare a good home knowing her physical issues? She also is anxious and stall walks. I would only sell her to a forever home but I was going to be her forever home so nothing is guaranteed. Maybe I shouldn’t give up yet? I just don’t know anymore but I know I am miserable and I want to do right by my mare.

Would it be a huge stress relief if you no longer had her? From what you wrote it sounds like it would be. Life threw some huge curve balls at you, and you are doing your best to adjust. That isn’t giving up; this is taking a realistic look at your future and trying to make the best decisions for you and your horse.

As several others suggested, I would start talking to your trainer about selling, with full disclosure of all issues of course. Your trainer may not have the contacts to sell this horse so you have have to move her elsewhere where you will be able to. If she is doing well in training and priced appropriately, there is a decent chance she can find the perfect home.

[dogsbody1]

I’m sorry, OP. This sounds like a difficult situation. I agree with others who suggest working with a trainer who will either help network the horse to an appropriate owner, or who can find someone to care lease your horse. I agree that a paid lease probably isn’t on the table. But if your horse is a good egg, there are always people out there who aren’t in a position to own a horse but still have the time, energy, and desire to work with one. It’s not a bad first step to pursue so that you can maintain ownership of your horse, get a break from the bills for a while, take some time away from horses, and potentially even find a good home with someone who leases and falls in love with your horse. That could be a circuitous but ultimately better route to figure out a long-term plan for your horse. I know that I, for one, offered to buy the senior horse I care leased (still wish his owner had said yes), so it certainly does happen.

[findeight]

Little late on this, work thing and all gets in the way.

OP, I gave one horse away free to a trainer. Had life changes, moved 4 states away and just could not keep it. Horse was quirky ( he could buck in certain situations), soundness questionable. Trainer used horse in lessons (western) and sold horse as a pet a year later to 2 older sisters who had a little goat farm. They took him for walks and kept him out front by the driveway and their little retail shop with a couple of the goats.

He was pretty chestnut with chrome, had been very successful on the old AHSA open circuit on the Pacific coast. The sisters loved him, their customers loved to feed him carrots. He lived there the rest of his life.

Don’t discount giving horse away to an appropriate home. My trainer at the time was well known in the community and had the local contacts.

On the stall walking, the party you bought him from may not have considered stall walking a vice, most sellers will disclose cribbing but not pawing, walking or others. Sellers may also keep the horse
out of the stall more so vices don’t manifest or they just bought the horse and don’t know.

Point being if the horse is otherwise suitable, many will tolerate stall vices and work to manage them, diet, exercise etc. IIWY, I would worry about soundness and lack of recent work/training more then a stall vice. Maybe address that while trainer tunes her up?