I wish there wasn’t guilt over not staying for euthanasia

[NEEDS_A_NAP]

Probably yes. But both pets being unconscious at that time, as it was explained to me, it made zero difference.

The first one, a cat , I went back in after she died to collect her body and take home to bury in my backyard.

The second one, a toy poodle, I did leave as they were doing a cremation, paw prints etc. He wad truly sailing on a cloud when I left. The vet in question I had known since he was in high school. I trusted him completely to give my boy a lovely exit.

Toy poodles half brother had died at home some six months prior. I had planned to put him to put him to sleep in the morning but he took matters into his own paws so to speak. He was wrapped up like a burrito in a blanket all night and was ok as long as I didn’t put him down. I buried him myself the next morning. Saw no point in dragging his body to get to be cremated. Told to illustrate I don’t shy away from the moment of death when the dying being is still aware.

There are all kinds of ways for pets to exit this world. As long as they were totally unconscious I see no problem in not being there for the final shot.

[Texarkana]

There is a place in h-e-double hockey sticks for people who guilt you about this.

I am so sorry, both for your loss and your experience.

[trubandloki]

@Texarkana

There is a place in h-e-double hockey sticks for people who guilt you about this.

There is a post that goes around Facebook from time to time, that claims to be written by a vet and it talks about how horrible it for a pet to pass without its owner.
People share it left and right.
I want to slap every person who shares and the person who wrote the darn thing.

[Bicoastal]

I want to add a plug for Lap of Love to this thread. They now appear to have some coverage coast to coast; there is a zip code search function to check your locality.

I have had two at-home euthanasia services with Lap of Love and both went as well as one could hope for.

[JumpWithPanache]

OP, I am horrified and saddened that you were treated so insensitively… truly appalling for anyone to berate you when you are already grieving deeply.

To everyone else sharing their stories and experiences, thank you. I have previously made the euthanasia decision for two cats, I know I was there for the sedative… but I honestly can’t even recall if I was there for the final injection. Now I’ll be facing these decisions again soon for my old-lady German Shepherd (she’ll be 14 next month!) who got me through divorce, moving to a completely new state, not knowing anyone, pursuing dog sports with her, moving AGAIN, deployment, boyfriends, and now new DH… I’m honestly not sure if I can be there for her because I am wrecked just thinking about how every day is a bonus day now. I dearly hope she and her brother (18 months younger) will be able to move to the farm with us… but new house is six months out. I will definitely be looking for an at-home option based on what people have said here. Piper is very much the matriarch of the house… she might be slow and can’t actually enforce rules anymore, but her authority remains unchallenged by everyone else. I think the other dogs and the cat (they grew up together) will also need the chance to grieve.

So long story short, OP, thank you for being brave and everyone else, thanks for sharing your experiences.

[OverandOnward]

For anyone reading that might be thinking ahead to their own decision, and may be concerned about that final twitch/physical reaction and wants to know what to expect …

Horses can have a big reaction to the sedative itself being administered – that is not uncommon. I’ve been there for friend’s horses, have been holding the rope. People in attendance have to be knowledgeable and prepared so that they are out of the way. The vet has to be careful. But it’s over fast. Even with a reaction (different for every horse), almost immediately the horse goes down and is out, no longer moving. Then the final dose is administered.

Because of this potential big physical reaction, I can be there for friend’s horses, but not my own. Even though I know that the horse is not conscious of it because the sedative hits that fast. I just can’t watch that with my own horse.

In other species such as cats and dogs, sometimes the sedatives smoothes out any physical reaction, but not always. But with smaller animals it seems that usually the reaction is more like a brief moment in a bad dream. Like a ‘chasing rabbits’ dog dream. It is over quickly. And sometimes there is no reaction at all.

That’s my experience. For people who want to be informed, there is information on the web about the death process. Because I had some things to prepare for myself I read up a bit on the subject. It’s been very helpful going forward through life.

[Mosey_2003]

Our Cocker mix that I took two years ago had a BIG reaction to the sedative - he screamed bloody murder for quite awhile. It was pretty upsetting. I butcher poultry etc and was prepared for various twitching etc but was definitely not prepared for that. I felt really bad for him

[Countrygirl18]

Thank you

[Countrygirl18]

Thank you, everyone’s kind words on here has truly helped a guilt/pain I held for four years

[skydy]

I’ll keep this short because even though it happened decades ago it’s still a painful memory.

After a long illness that no vet was able to diagnose I came home from work to find my Great Dane staggering, seemingly blindly and knew it was time (it was probably past time.) I called the vet, who my dog loved, and he came out immediately. He said “he doesn’t even recognize me.”

I sat with my beloved dog on the lawn under the tree where we would bury him while the vet put him down, and though he went peacefully I really wish I hadn’t had to be there. My big burly Vet left with tears in his eyes.

[tabula_rashah]

I’ve been present for so, so many euthanasias both as part of my job and with my own animals. While I personally will always stay, I do not think less of someone that doesn’t and I’m sorry that people have made you feel badly about it.

[Aussie_2020]

I’m so sorry for your loss and for the cruel remarks from others. I don’t know why people feel the need to judge others. We each experience pain and loss differently.

[Dr_Doolittle]

This was beautiful and incredibly poignant, thank you.

I cried.

[Countrygirl18]

Thank you, everyone being so kind on here helped me