Are you afraid of tables? What’s the difference between a table and a square oxer? The fact that the oxer isn’t bankable?
Just wondering.
[QUOTE=Xctrygirl;8661581]
You know this reminded me. One time we sailed over that stupid HUGE oxer over the aqueduct wall I landed thumping Petey and telling him how good he was and at the same time Jimmy was telling me aloud “Good Girl Em” right after every time I praised Petey. It was an awesome 45 seconds.
You’re right though… we never praise ourselves enough. We push hard to fix everything but never stop and say “Hey that was great”
Em[/QUOTE]
Yes, this and more. Treat yourself like you do your horses. We’re so much harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. Be as forgiving with yourself as you are with your horses, know when to back off yourself and give yourself a break, praise yourself, acknowledge when you’ve done well.
[QUOTE=veritas;8661734]
Also, a few classes at a jumper show (ideally 2-3 days of just jumpers) might boost your confidence. [/QUOTE]
See I guess not everyone knows that I have switched over to doing mostly jumpers now. I event a couple times a year at unrecognized stuff, but the bulk of my showing is jumpers. I hope to maybe do a hunter derby (local level) on Gin this year as well.
Yes… Tables used to scare me. Since I don’t event much, and not currently at a level where the tables are ‘big’ it’s not really an issue.
I love all these thoughts guys, thanks for trying to help me! Keep the ideas coming!!
Em
Maybe if you keep telling yourself over and over “The jump will fall down. The jump will fall down.” that might help. Very simplistic, but maybe you’ve transferred your fear of tables to square oxers.
[QUOTE=FrittSkritt;8661455]
Prelim is still 3’7". :yes:
That being said… how are you with oxers in gymnastics? I’m not saying you need to be doing max height, 4’0" oxers with 5’ spreads, but if you can build up to the larger heights (and not have to worry about distances), then I find it helps with the mental aspects of it.[/QUOTE]
1* is now 3’9". Many of the Prelim horses were aiming at a 1*. That said, most of the clinic was 3’6 with a few fences set larger.
That said…this mind issue is very normal. And I agree with this post. Most of us go through it at various times. I struggle with it too and have in the past. Only way to get trough it is more lessons and schooling jumping at height. I push myself because once I’m schooling…it’s fine. But it takes work. And just being confident that you have a good horse (or two) and this is well with in both your abilities.
You (we) are not alone. You will get you mojo back. It just takes consistent training. And telling those butterflies to fly in formation!
The oxer that caused the issue was the second one on my course here. It looked bigger in person. The wall IS scary. It’s why we built it and jump it regularly. My guy still spooks at it everytime we bring it out.
https://www.facebook.com/kealanifarm1/videos/934227803363292/
I worked with a sports psychologist for a while when I was having issues with jumping. It was REALLY helpful. The short version of this is as follows: had several sessions one on one in a quiet corner of the barn talking about positive thinking. With coaching, I got to the point that I could envision a positive ride and would not allow myself to “see” a bad ride. On the way to the barn, I would envision the positive I was going to have that day. I would see myself riding down to the fence, getting the correct distance and having a good ride. Then when I got to the barn, I would go sit in a quiet place for about ten minutes and “see” what was going to happen. So I would “see” tacking up my horse, chatting with my friends. getting on and warming up, and then I would "see "myself jumping a good round. When I first started this, my brain SO wanted to see "something "happening - such as stopping at a jump, having a rail down, falling off and I learned just to say NO to those thoughts. It took practice, but what a difference it made. When I saw myself having a succesful ride, I was able to duplicate it when I rode. I had a lot more confidence in myself. I was able to move back up to larger fences without thinking about a disaster happening. I learned just to say NO to those bad thoughts and shu them off. Once I got used to doing that, it became easier and my riding REALLY improved.
I had some books on this but actually working with a sports psychologist was the key for me. Talking through my concerns and learning to only see a succesful ride was hard, but I learned to do it. It IS something you have to do all the time. If I allow myself to think "gee thats a big fence and I dont know if I want to do that, " then all those negative thoughts come flying right back at you. So just dont go there. Really really helped my riding!
[QUOTE=vineyridge;8661851]
Maybe if you keep telling yourself over and over “The jump will fall down. The jump will fall down.” that might help. Very simplistic, but maybe you’ve transferred your fear of tables to square oxers.[/QUOTE]
While worth a thought, I would say that that isn’t it. The tables were last jumped in 2002. I have done more and bigger jumper classes since the tables in the intervening 14 years.
This is a fear that came up within the last year. And after I was doing 4’ stuff in 2014.
Em
But your life is different now. You are more connected to other people and have more to lose by a fall. You’ve now given hostages to fortune.
[QUOTE=vineyridge;8661907]
But your life is different now. You are more connected to other people and have more to lose by a fall. You’ve now given hostages to fortune.[/QUOTE]
That’s a great point. You are a family now, cut yourself some slack.
[QUOTE=vineyridge;8661851]
Maybe if you keep telling yourself over and over “The jump will fall down. The jump will fall down.” that might help. Very simplistic, but maybe you’ve transferred your fear of tables to square oxers.[/QUOTE]
This is what I’ve gone to telling myself. Tables scare the crap out of me, which is funny as they, in my experience, ride well, at least at Novice, but they are big and wide. My horse is safe. If he jumps it, he’s getting over it. But at 50, and time starved, cross country started wigging me out for some reason. Probably thoughts of my horse getting tired and making a mistake and us having a bad fall. Hence my switching over to just jumpers, because yes, the jumps fall down!
Hope you get it sorted out. The head trips are really frustrating. Obviously, you are far from alone with this.
ETA: “Hostages to fortune” how true. Definitely makes an impact though as others have said, practice without pressure until it’s boring and no longer scary. And be sure to pat yourself on the back occasionally.
I just want to say that this is my life. I can’t get out of my head enough to take two steps.
Another oxer-phobe here. In my case it was after a very scary crash at a square oxer. It was now several years ago, on a different horse, but man, has it been hard to get it out of my head. I am petrified of the deep spot. If I see a good distance, I’m ok. If not, I feel almost physically compelled to lengthen for the flyer.
Jimmy told me this week to “stop stalking the distance” - just to accept what I was going to get.
I am not back to where I was, by any means, but I have made measurable improvement - I was competing very comfortably at Training on two horses, and had ridden Prelim, when I crashed. Afterward, novice oxers looked terrifying. Even a year ago, on my new horse, who loves show jumping and would no sooner crash in the way my old horse did (who lacked initiative - he literally didn’t take off but barreled head first through an oxer at T and sent us head first into the ground) than he would suddenly start speaking French…I’d have panic attacks at novice.
I hated it.
I am now able to jump 3’3" and very occasionally 3’6" without being terrified. I rode religiously over the winter with my coach, who is all about a systematic approach. She, too, put me on an oxer diet. I now will often say to myself “trust the system, trust the system” as a mantra. The system being, of course, based on getting and maintained a good canter, not obsessing about my distances. I also have a good tune in my head that I will mentally hum…and count when I remember too.
My life, too! Can’t wait to hear all the ideas.
The one thing I try to keep in mind with oxers is that I feel perfectly capable of jumping wider jumps on xc. Stadium jumps fall down, xc jumps don’t 
I have something you can try that has zero to do with jumping, but everything about how you think about it. It’s basis lies within the science of quantum physics. I can’t remember where I saw the study, but science suggests you can wire your brain either positively or negatively over a very short period of time with just your posture. If you sit (on your horse or otherwise) slouched with you head down, your brain chemistry actually adapts to that posture creating feelings of defeat and other negative thoughts. If you sit tall, shoulders open, palms up like an indian praying for rain, your brain will switch to a more positive mindset. It’s very similar to something I learned about myself decades ago. I used to be one of those people who could not take a compliment. I was so down on myself. I had a few friends who were the same way. One day we decided we were all just going to say “thank you” whenever we were given a compliment instead of dismiss it like we were not worthy. I’ll be damned if I didn’t start believing in myself within a few days of doing it. That lump 3’ above our butts is very powerful.
I’ve tried the posture thing many times since I’ve learned about it, and it really works. I used to suck, suck, suck at stadium. Big square oxers meant an E for me almost every time. Now, as I ride my horse over to stadium warmup, I assume the indian position. The palms up really do the trick for opening the shoulders. By the time I get into the ring, the process has already started. I keep the position as much as I can while I warm up. By the time I get over the X-rail and vertical, I’m already rewired for the oxer. It hasn’t been a problem since. Try it. What have you got to lose? Besides, it’s the exact same posture you need to establish the right jumping canter, so nothing needs to change there.
I like the idea of sneaking in a big jump. I do that too. There’s always one baby jump and one big girl jump for whenever I feel the need or urge to jump either. It works great.
It sounds like your horse is a solid citizen. In addition to accepting that you are a good rider when told so, acknowledge that your horse can get it done too. Horse/rider confidence in contagious, but then you probably already know that.
Just for grins… so you can visualize a bit better this is Petey and me (admittedly a while ago because I free leased him to a kid last year)
Good day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=If4zsuY1_XQ
Embarrasing round but give credit to his honesty:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2A5xwAJLAI
(That was the same issue but in a very large scale. And a bit of a long story but I technically shouldn’t have been riding. A friend of mine was supposed to show him for me but she ended up deathly ill that morning. So I jumped back on, and did the best I could)
The “good” round above was after the second clip. We were trying to get some go in him to instill more energy, and thus a better canter that would ultimately give me more confidence and make it harder for him to do that skitter pop thing.
Em
I have the same exact problem as you and many others (although I am definitely not riding at your level!). My old gelding would tend to get really chip-y and it made me terrified of that super deep spot and “large” square, wide oxers too. It got to the point where I’d start yahooing with my seat about 5 strides out…completely pushed him out of his balance, ran him on the forehand, got mega long spots and had a crappy jump every single time. Luckily I was able to mostly fix this with a very patient trainer and jumping much smaller oxers until I got more comfortable. I think in cases like this repetition is the key … jumping oxers at heights you are comfortable with and then slightly higher … over and over and over until it becomes not such a big deal.
By the way, I LOVE those pig cut outs underneath your jump in your first video. And the pig drawing on the chevron type thing. So cute!
[QUOTE=LadyB;8661530]
This is such a feel good thread in a twisted way. Happy to not be alone![/QUOTE]
Yes, except for it is going to give me oxer phobia!
Thank goodness… I was dying inside a little.
Linda and TBchick84 have a great idea.
Change your attitude by posture and by stating how your day will go everyday.
As in stand in front of a mirror, state clearly and out loud
"I am a good rider (which you are)
“I love to jump big oxers”
“I love to jump big verticals”
“I love to jump my horse over fences”
“I find the right spot at every fence”
or something like the above. Edit and add statements as needed.
Even though you won’t believe it at first, it will take hold in your mind. You will find yourself calmer and riding more like your 2014 self.
FYI - using this process has helped me in my current totally whacked out life. Good luck - you have a lot of talent and lovely horses. Go have some fun!
And don’t forget to pat yourself and say “Good girl EM”. :winkgrin:
Your post literally describes myself. I know I am a semi-capable rider and have a very athletic, honest horse. We have shown up to 1.25m together (only twice) and are old partners. I can jump a 4’6 vertical all day, but gosh forbid you make the 3’3 oxer wide and square! I don’t have much advice to give, but just remember that “fear” is not a negative thing! Don’t beat yourself up about it. It is Ok to be nervous. I really love the previous advice of remembering to praise yourself as well. I am definitely going to try that!
My nervousness definitely comes out more with square oxers. I think it’s a depth perception thing. A suggestion would be to set up wide RAMPED oxers with the back rail 2 holes higher than the front (or 3, depending on how far apart your holes are. The idea to make it very ramped), 3"/6" higher than the height that you compete or start to get nervous at with square oxers. Then when you make it square, lower the back rail instead of raising the front rail.
I think a lot of my nervousness is coming from being jumped out of the tack a few too many times. So I have really been trying to make myself more secure in the tack.
P.S. You are a FABULOUS rider. And your horse is super cool!
