In your head syndrome - How do you deal?

[Twistedpony]

Ah, sports psychology…it’s so fascinating, until you have to deal with it personally! What helped/helps me was learning to use the concept of mindfulness in my riding. I had to learn to keep my focus/calm/cool by staying in the moment. I would have meltdowns over the stupidest things that I should have been perfectly able to do (flying lead changes, XC schooling over small fences on a Prelim veteran, etc). So when I get nervous in that way (I can always tell because my tongue goes numb), I have to focus on the immediate task at hand: “Okay, I’m going to establish my canter. Ok, now I’m going to ride him through the turn and not pick at him. Okay, there’s my line. Shoulders up, heel down and leg on, oh look, we jumped it!” When you break it down into small tasks like that, it is much less daunting–for me, anyway. This takes practice…it’s hard to set aside the “I’M GOING TO DIE!” voice!

These issues are so frustrating! It’s good to know I’m not the only sufferer…my coach has NONE of this, so sometimes I feel like I’m some bizarre fluke, haha.

[snowrider]

Left field but get your eyesight checked. I’ve been slowly losing sight in my left eye for years, didn’t notice it at first because my other eye compensated. It completely screwed up my depth perception though. I was doing the bigger jumpers at the time and had always had a dead accurate eye but I started missing, especially wearing sunglasses or indoors or in flat light. I also really noticed it skiing and driving at night. Contacts, and eventually lasik once my bad eye stabilized for a few years, cured me completely. I can “see” fine without them but no depth perception at all. You can google how to test your depth perception. For a while I compensated by looking at the take off spot instead of the jump which my trainer noticed. Do you do that?

Also I notice you are sitting all the way to the fence, I do think that assuming a half seat a few strides out helps with the eye.

[Feliz]

My horse and I did our first 1.20m round last June - he’s been recovering from an injury so I haven’t jumped anything over 0.9m (on a friend’s horse) in 9mths - I hope I still have my mojo back when he’s ready!

I’m not naturally brave, so I’ve learnt some things that work for me for the bigger fences:

I never jump something I’m scared of. Nervous is fine, but if I’m scared I will not jump it. I will sit on my horse and tell my tough-and-has-competed-at-very-high-level trainer that the fences need to come down. I’ve done the same in clinics. I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m a scaredy cat, I’m not going to the Olympics any time soon so it doesn’t matter!

My trainer sets EVERY oxer as a square oxer. So as we progressed and the jumps went up it wasn’t so intimidating.

Trainer doesn’t really do grids so I learnt to meet square oxers off corners, off long approaches, off dog legs, as element one in a short combination to a vertical etc. It seems, from my fairly low level eventing background that oxers were often ‘eased into’ so you never had to jump them ‘cold’

At a clinic a while ago it was suggested to ‘become’ your rider of choice and as you ride think 'This distance looks a bit tricky but I’m Beezie Madden and I’m relaxed about it, I’ll wait for the fence, I know I’ve got this covered." This can work well for me sometimes. The complete opposite thing that gives me confidence is to watch riders who aren’t classically good competing well (not the death defying kind!) and reminding myself that you don’t have to be perfect to do this - it’s not GP.

Anyway, good luck, I’m sure you’ll get back on track

[bornfreenowexpensive]

What was so hard for the OP was that her “melt down” (really not that bad) came at the END of the lesson. After she had jumped the jump in question multiple times already (very well). The lesson really wasn’t about jumping big jumps but it WAS challenging mentally. The lines were set technical. Especially the line in question to the oxer.

I honestly believe the issue is NOT oxers and not big fences…it is dealing with pressure and a rider who wants to be perfect. When we have not been getting a lot of help…our technical skills can get rusty. And dealing with the stress of that pressure IS a skill too and when that skill is rusty…we can get a bit overwhelmed.

So I think the OP will get through it just fine but needs to put a bit more pressure on herself in daily riding (raise her expectations of both her riding and horses) AND get some consistency in training to help knock the rust off.

But dealing with stress and pressure is tough and something we all struggle with when trying to improve or knock off rust.

[LookmaNohands]

When I had lyme, it messed with my balance and my depth perception. It actually got hard for me to park a car! Luckily I didn’t hit anything. Anyway I had to go slow starting to ride again. Then I was faced with getting a silly horse going again who hadn’t jumped in a year so I could get her sold.

I found some depth perception exercises on line that I could do that really helped. I stayed within my comfort zone and focused on my mechanics when I started jumping this silly horse who had forgotten how to jump. I got her going enough to send her to someone to be sold.

I think the thing that happens is that the injuries add up after a while, you lose a bit of strength and flexibility and that affects things. You have to get those back. I am working on that now.

Definitely have your eyes checked. If one eye is stronger than the other, you will lose depth perception. You can improve it though!!

[Linny]

When you deal with youngsters/greenies as you do, you rarely are faced with pushing yourself to the higher range of your ability, heightwise. Petey was leased out for most (all?) of last year while you developed Gin. Thus, you have very little recency at bigger stuff. You should be pleased that you faced the fears not offended that you had them.
Jimmy has known you long enough to know that the ability is there. Was Petey doing the 3’9 last year? Probably not, so he may be having the same reaction to the bigger stuff. By the end of the next session, things may be sorting themselves out, especially as Petey gains fitness.

[Ajierene]

[QUOTE=bornfreenowexpensive;8662575]
What was so hard for the OP was that her “melt down” (really not that bad) came at the END of the lesson. After she had jumped the jump in question multiple times already (very well). The lesson really wasn’t about jumping big jumps but it WAS challenging mentally. The lines were set technical. Especially the line in question to the oxer.

I honestly believe the issue is NOT oxers and not big fences…it is dealing with pressure and a rider who wants to be perfect. When we have not been getting a lot of help…our technical skills can get rusty. And dealing with the stress of that pressure IS a skill too and when that skill is rusty…we can get a bit overwhelmed.

So I think the OP will get through it just fine but needs to put a bit more pressure on herself in daily riding (raise her expectations of both her riding and horses) AND get some consistency in training to help knock the rust off.

But dealing with stress and pressure is tough and something we all struggle with when trying to improve or knock off rust.[/QUOTE]

My issues increase when I start getting mentally or physical fatigued. The end of a lesson will definitely be a time to start messing up more. The initial post states that the individual was nervous from the get go. She started the clinic a bit more nervous than otherwise because she was thinking the jumps would be lower. She also states that she did not get any better, confidence wise, as the lesson continued.

I appreciate your faith in XCtrygirl, but ignoring it or setting it aside as if the issues are nothing is not necessarily the best idea. Ignoring a confidence issue instead of addressing it to fix it just means it will pop up again, mental/psychological issues do not go away when ignored.

Important parts of her original post, bolded addresses what XCtrygirl self-identified as the problems:

[QUOTE=Xctrygirl;8661328]I went on Petey first and I had made a mistake in that I saw we were in a Prelim group and my mind thought “Ok 3’6-ish, cool,” since 3’7" was where Prelim stadium was when I last competed. You all know what I am about to say though. I totally forgot that USEA had changed things and Prelim is now 3’9". In 2014, I did some 4’ classes in jumpers on Petey but while we were successful I wouldn’t run out and say that I am a made 4’ rider. I’m still learning and I am much stronger (historically) at 3’6" with Petey and Lad before him. So anyway Jim set some big fences at height and even though to McClain Ward they’d likely be cavalettis, I was terrified. All of the oxers were only briefly ascending and ended up being square. I had not schooled this height with Petey in over a year. I have been a student of Jimmy’s for a long time and knew both Petey and I could do the exercises so I kept going. I would say that 70% of the lesson went well, especially if you consider that inside of me I was really scared. We jumped the big stuff in the individual exercises and ignoring the spook at the Liverpool run out and the couple ugly peeks at the aqueduct wall, it was going well, until we got to the end of the lesson and had to do a full course.

This is the part I do not understand, at all. And neither does Jimmy. I had not gained confidence having jumped the 3 big oxers over the course of the lesson. When we came to do the course I could hear the voices in my head screaming “I don’t want to jump it again. Please no. Please not again.” But I went on and tried. Petey for his part I believe was part tired and part finally ‘hearing’ my lack of commitment to the job at hand. He stopped (mercifully, though I know its bad training on my part) at the one big oxer, to the point that Jim had to (begrudgingly) lower it so we could get over it. This is after having jumped it before no less than 10 times at that height.

I know that in my role as an instructor if I saw what happened to me yesterday in a student I was teaching, I’d be more confused. I know I am confused having lived through it. Fwiw, Gin was fine and the butterflies were in siesta land as his lesson stayed below the 3’3" level. I had none of the same fears with him. This is ironic because if you’d been able to see Petey fly over those jumps in the first half of the lesson, he had no problems what so ever, and for the first time ever felt like he was actually clearing them with room to spare. He’s typically been the jump only as much as needed type. I did tell Jim I was terrified, I did own it aloud though fat bit of good it does to say it. I know it’s an excuse, but it’s also a valid truth.

I believe I just need to do more and school it more at home and get in the swing again. I build courses with oxers, but they’re almost always ascending, and typically lower than my verticals. That’s the funny part, give me a 5’3 vertical and I’m fine, give me a beefy 3’6" oxer and I am not ok.
[/QUOTE]

[fordtraktor]

It happens. Drop it down for a few schools, schedule a couple privates so he can build you back up in a couple of weeks of jump schools.

Do gymnastics if possible to get the height so the horse is ultra positive about it. ((Hugs))

[rennyben]

prefacing by saying I’m not a sports psychologist nor did I play one on TV. Also going to say that I’m totally interjecting my own experiences into this theory…

Someone mentioned you have a new family and the risk is higher. Do not discount this. It’s huge. Your brain is pretty damn smart. Your brain also knows something else that you might not have realized consciously.

I just watched your 2 videos. In the “un-good” video you shared, your position wasn’t as strong, so you weren’t there to help your horse when you needed or to stay in balance. Maybe you were tired or “freezing” or having an off day. But your brain knows your body was struggling and you could’ve gotten hurt. Maybe that’s why it was worse at the end of your lesson - maybe you were getting tired, your body wasn’t able to do it safely anymore and your brain picked up on it. Just guessing.

Earlier, I said I was interjecting my own experiences. I used to be stupid brave. Then I had a family and I was no longer brave. I would jump but was scared/worried about it. I thought that was just my new normal. Until I switched trainers. She focused on my position and tightening my leg – because as she says, my legs are my seat belt and I had none. My subconscious had known I was putting myself in danger and was telling me to be afraid.

Now, on days when I’m tight in the saddle, stretching tall and my leg is secure I’m as brave as I used to be and feel like a kid again. Some days I revert and start to worry as I head to a jump. Then I focus on getting tight. Once I’ve got my position back the worry goes away like magic.

So just something else to think about in addition to all the other good advice.

[bornfreenowexpensive]

[QUOTE=Ajierene;8662928]
My issues increase when I start getting mentally or physical fatigued. The end of a lesson will definitely be a time to start messing up more. The initial post states that the individual was nervous from the get go. She started the clinic a bit more nervous than otherwise because she was thinking the jumps would be lower. She also states that she did not get any better, confidence wise, as the lesson continued.

I appreciate your faith in XCtrygirl, but ignoring it or setting it aside as if the issues are nothing is not necessarily the best idea. Ignoring a confidence issue instead of addressing it to fix it just means it will pop up again, mental/psychological issues do not go away when ignored.

Important parts of her original post, bolded addresses what XCtrygirl self-identified as the problems:[/QUOTE]

you basically missed the entire point of my post (and I was at the clinic). My point was the clinic WAS mentally challenging and I suspect that is much more the issue than the size of fence or it being an oxer. I never said to ignore it. I said to work on it by getting more consistent help and making sure she raises her pressure on her self to work on things.

[Linda]

I’m the one who mentioned the sports psychology piece earlier… Well yesterday, we were practicing for an upcoming dressage show and my horse was wild. Spooking at everything. spinning, he totally was doing whatever he wanted. And it was scarey. So I backed off.

This morning, I had a conversation with myself and decided that was not going to happen again. I Was in charge from the moment I got him out and stayed in charge the whole time I tacked him up, rode, untacked and gave him a bath.

. My trainer was impressed at the ride! And so was I ! I made a decision before I even got on that I was going to be in charge today and have a good ride. And that’s exactly what I did.

Its a choice that you need to make. And I going to sit up and ride, or are we just going to quietly hack around the ring. I chose to sit up and ride !

[subk]

Em, remind me how old you are? Have you taken time off in the last few years or had babies?

Since I didn’t see anyone else mention this…Here is the single biggest thing that I’ve found have an influence on my confidence and how I feel about the jumps getting bigger–rider fitness. More specifically rider strength (as opposed to cardio.) I’m now 52. Once upon a time I rode to keep fit, gradually over time I’ve realized I need to workout to be fit enough to ride. Riding in and of itself is not enough anymore to physically have me in the right place–only after I started serious strength training did I realize the “right place” it affected the most was my mental game.

Squats, deadlifts, presses and pull ups. Go to the free weight side of the gym where the guys hang out. Full body exercises that you do while standing on your feet. 30-45 minutes twice a week. The improvement in security that I feel today compared to a few years ago is significant and yet if you had asked me a few years ago I would have told you I felt secure. It’s the most significant thing I’ve done outside of riding to improve my riding (and goodness knows I’ve done everything from yoga to spinning!) I could kick myself for not figuring this out when I was 25!!

If your body is aging/changing even a small dip in physical security can mess with your brain. Yes, getting old sucks…and it starts sooner than you think.

[Xctrygirl]

[QUOTE=subk;8665807]
Em, remind me how old you are? Have you taken time off in the last few years or had babies?

Since I didn’t see anyone else mention this…Here is the single biggest thing that I’ve found have an influence on my confidence and how I feel about the jumps getting bigger–rider fitness. More specifically rider strength (as opposed to cardio.) I’m now 52. Once upon a time I rode to keep fit, gradually over time I’ve realized I need to workout to be fit enough to ride. Riding in and of itself is not enough anymore to physically have me in the right place–only after I started serious strength training did I realize the “right place” it affected the most was my mental game.

Squats, deadlifts, presses and pull ups. Go to the free weight side of the gym where the guys hang out. Full body exercises that you do while standing on your feet. 30-45 minutes twice a week. The improvement in security that I feel today compared to a few years ago is significant and yet if you had asked me a few years ago I would have told you I felt secure. It’s the most significant thing I’ve done outside of riding to improve my riding (and goodness knows I’ve done everything from yoga to spinning!) I could kick myself for not figuring this out when I was 25!!

If your body is aging/changing even a small dip in physical security can mess with your brain. Yes, getting old sucks…and it starts sooner than you think.[/QUOTE]

Well since you asked I am 44 now, have not really fallen off in how much I ride, still the same level of fitness if not fitter since sometimes I have to walk across the farm where the boys live to get from the barn to the field where Gin and Lunar live. (Roughly .7 miles walk) I have not had babies because well it hasn’t worked.

I am employed in a desk job but I still get to walk around plenty and on my lunch break frequently am in full motion going from here to there, or to the barn to muck stalls or some such things.

The last time I was “off” from riding was roughly 2010 - 2011, but it was only for 6 months or so. Then Lad came back, we bought Petey, then we bought Lunar, then we bought Gin, then we bought Rocket and somehow I am at 5 horses. And I regularly ride 2 right now, 3 once we get Lunar back in work.

Given that I don’t have issues at lower heights I really do believe it’s caused by just not enough recent practice. We’re coming out of winter now due to weather and prepping my old house to be sold. So that ate up a lot of weekend riding time.

We’re going to try doing a bit more, but not so much that I compromise my horse’s legs to fix my brain. I typically jump only once a week in the first part of the season while they’re getting fitter. I may go to 2x a week later in the year but I am not one who likes to jump too much.

~Em

[bornfreenowexpensive]

[QUOTE=Xctrygirl;8666285]
.

We’re going to try doing a bit more, but not so much that I compromise my horse’s legs to fix my brain. I typically jump only once a week in the first part of the season while they’re getting fitter. I may go to 2x a week later in the year but I am not one who likes to jump too much.

~Em[/QUOTE]

I bet you can improve even without jumping. Put more focus on getting the boys further in their flat work. Up your expectations on straightness, moving off your leg etc. I find doing just pole work can also help both my eye and the ride-ability of my horses that translates well to over fences. You’ll have your mojo back in no time.

[NMK]

My take: you just got mentally fatigued. Bigger fences leave less margins for error, so your focus needs to be sharper. If you are not used to practicing sharp, have not done it in a while, or don’t do it often, it’s hard to maintain that for a long period of time.

From my own experience, I know that a bit of Adrenalin does help me focus. However, after a period of time, Adrenalin has less influence and you have to play the mental game of putting a little ice in your veins without it. I try to remember the focus I had earlier, and sharpen myself up by making sure that I have a quiet space to get really focused before I do the last few exercises.

This is the part that draws me to this sport. But it’s a very fine line when we choose who to ride with, and what we will be doing.

[Ajierene]

[QUOTE=Xctrygirl;8666285]

Given that I don’t have issues at lower heights I really do believe it’s caused by just not enough recent practice. We’re coming out of winter now due to weather and prepping my old house to be sold. So that ate up a lot of weekend riding time.

We’re going to try doing a bit more, but not so much that I compromise my horse’s legs to fix my brain. I typically jump only once a week in the first part of the season while they’re getting fitter. I may go to 2x a week later in the year but I am not one who likes to jump too much.

~Em[/QUOTE]

One of the many things I like about where my horse stays is that I have two other horses to ride. My friend has two horses that aren’t really sale horses but need to stay in some sort of riding shape and remembering how to be a riding horse in case they are needed for a trail horse, hunting, spare schooling horse if one of the boarder horses is out of commission, etc. So, I ride them and it allows me to jump more. Both the horses have an alternate job of babysitter.

It has not panned out quite so well, but I am hoping soon to get on a schedule of jumping a different horse each day of the week. So, my horse (coming back from a sickness, at 2’3" now), the mare (jumping 2’9", 3’ and higher when I get really back into jumping), and the gelding (just starting his post-racing new career so he’s on crossrails) all jump a different day of the week, then I have three days of jumping, combined with dressage, fitness and hacking days so I could really work on everything a lot better than just having one horse to ride.

So, without running horses legs off, you could potentially jump 5 days a week and still get more of the practice in - solidify it in your head a bit more. This way you are also not causing as much mental fatigue as you would if you jumped 3 horses in one day. I could be wrong, but it seems to help me when I can get my schedule organized.

I will also say, I am not that much younger than you and age without increase in family size does do a bit of damage to the confidence levels. So, the above may be a good idea and going back to my other ideas - a 15min jump session that ends with going over that scary looking oxer once or twice (not drilling the oxer) may do more for your confidence when you come back the next day and do it again…and the next…and the next. Instead of jumping it 10-15 times like you may in a lesson/clinic.

[weixiao]

I was always one who had to keep schooling at height or I got nervous. I was pretty successful up through the 1.50m level and I still got nervous. My nerves also tended to come out at square oxers because I had a horse with a not so good front end who came a bit unglued if the rails started coming down.

The biggest things for me were: schooling. We never really jumped more than once a week and we didn’t jump many jumps, but I had to jump at least a couple of oxers at height. The other big thing was that if I started getting nervous and thinking about what could go wrong, it meant I wasn’t focused enough. Being in the zone and in the moment was paramount. Now, when I feel myself getting nervous and worrying about not finding the distance I want, etc, I try and focus harder on the canter and the rhythm and focus on straightness, balance, and I try and stay in the moment and be more present.

Confidence things are tough, but don’t be discouraged and don’t be too hard on yourself about it, because that can make it worse. Instead of focusing on whether you’re nervous or confident, try and make yourself really present and focus on the components of what is happening - your canter, straightness, position, etc. The rest comes out of that.

[goodmorning]

I’ve had this issue, it’s sort of odd & yes, I blame it on mental fatigue and frustration. A recent article on COTH summed up what has helped tremendously over the past two years: sports amnesia. And he combats some of the overthinking & dwelling the same way I have found works, but concentrating on all the other details. Plan everything. This could backfire for some people I suppose, but if you plan for mishaps or spooks with multiple routes etc etc, really, it’s fine. If you have to concentrate on the plan, well, once fence can’t keep you down. You are constantly moving forward. An over simplification would be simply, add leg, kick on.

http://www.chronofhorse.com/article/you-need-sports-amnesia-day-2-mclain-ward-clinic

I personally freeze up on the In’s to combinations, but I’ve found by planning my track, focusing on the track, an object, the canter, etc., I’m not having a breakdown over the In. In my lesson that elicited a ‘breakdown’ of sorts, with the actual results improving, we were cantering into a gymnastic line that was eventually 6 or so fences? By the end, we were nailing every In & Out but I walked away completely miserable. Nothing was conquered & I lost all desire to jump for a while. I have a very good horse, so, it has absolutely helped me be able to keep on, keeping on When they are that enjoyable to ride, and to jump, it really does help. There’s such an interesting balance of being able to get your horse to the perfect distance and yet your horse making the right decision when its not the best spot, either by figuring it our or stopping.

A bit of a ramble, not sure how helpful it is, but you are not alone :yes:

[subk]

[QUOTE=Xctrygirl;8666285]
Well since you asked I am 44 now, have not really fallen off in how much I ride, still the same level of fitness if not fitter since sometimes I have to walk across the farm where the boys live to get from the barn to the field where Gin and Lunar live. (Roughly .7 miles walk) [/QUOTE]
Well, bad news. Most serious, older athletes (and jumping 3’6"+ is serious) find that they have to intentionally address the body’s natural tendency to lose muscle once they hit 40 or see negative results in performance. For those of us that participate in potentially dangerous activities it is logical for the very first thing we notice at the beginning of that progression (or regression) is the loss of confidence. A subtle loss of strength is going to affect our subconscious before anything else.

The worst part is doing all the same things you’ve been doing won’t stop the muscle loss. And it isn’t necessarily “fitness” that’s the problem and it won’t be fixed by tacking on some more walking to your day. It is strength as it relates to muscle mass and building muscle mass is what addresses it. You don’t build muscle hopping on a bike, or running a mile–it’s not a cardio issue. You build strength by lifting heavy things–stressing muscle fibers so they rebuild stronger. That doesn’t really happen by doing more of the same thing your body is already acclimated to doing. (That works in your 20s and 30s, not so much in your 40s and hell no, not at all in your 50s!)

So I’m going to go against the grain and the other advice here and say if you aren’t lifting like so many mature athletes in other sports who do so to maintain performance levels as they age you need to look into it. It is very possibly the answer to why something that used to not scare you at 34 now bothers you at 44.

And this is coming from someone who started working out at 47, progressed to “real” weight lifting by 49 and for whom the additional strength resulted in a huge confidence and security boost at a time when I didn’t really realize I needed it…or more accurately didn’t realize the random issues I was dealing with could be addressed with strength training.

[Xctrygirl]

Ok so the unloading of 100 hay bales and 50 straw bales didn’t count?

I am not a gym person, and likely won’t be. Let’s be clear the fear, while possibly attributed to my advancing age and just general change of mindset, hasn’t been a 10 year progression. I’m not afraid of all square oxer, just bigger ones.

I realized while reflecting over this that I have not done a whole lot in the 3’9 - 4’6" range in terms of showing or schooling in my entire career. I have experience doing it, just not as much as under 3’, nor as much as 3’3-3’6". And since those experiences were spread out by more than a decade 1995-1998 to 2002-2003 (Yellow Britches help me, when did I ride Tip?) to 2014, I’m thinking more logically that I am in fact green at the level and likely am afraid because it 1) is big 2)it’s been a while and 3) I’m not yet confident doing it consistently. Why? Because I haven’t been doing it consistently.

I appreciate the thought about lifting weights but I just am not interested beyond doing normal barn work that has kept me the same size for years and is much more enjoyable of a way for me to stay healthy.

~Emily