Well that’s a big part of the racism, right. Everyone loves Lebron James, but Joe Schmoe down the street shootin’ hoops at the park on Sunday, “well he’s probably a criminal, doesn’t he have anything better to do?”
A popular face they’ve seen on TV or in media, they’re fine with, because they’re “not like the others.”
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I have no reason (nor right) to discount the OP’s impression of what she experienced. However, I ‘might’ have sat with all of the others after lunch break to see if it was what I thought, if people then moved away from me, confirming my take on it.
I was VERY shy as a child. As I got older and became more conscious of it, I compensated by finding someone where I went who looked shyer and more alone than me and made an effort to talk to and include them. Still, when my eventing instructor put on a picnic for her students, Not A Single One of Them made an effort to speak to me. It was not a large group; there was no way I got “lost in the crowd.” I suspect they were financially HEADS above me, and I didn’t fit in because of it.
Not exactly along the lines of what happened, but when I watched some 4-H horse shows/classes 40+ years ago, I would make a point of going over to compliment some rider (who didn’t place or place where I thought they should) on how well they did. Sometimes, I got a thank-you or a simple smile, but I heard one young lady excitedly say, “Momma, that lady said…”
I’m sorry that the OP is so far away from where I live. I’m SURE she is a much better rider than I ever was, and she sounds like fun to be with.
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My favorite innocuous ice breaker is to watch the horse intently and say, “hey, do you know how old that horse is?”
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Fair. I also think that in instances where someone perceives they are being excluded for reasons of historic marginalization, it isn’t their responsibility of a single individual to serve as a human litmus test to justify what they perceived to others. If they wanted to for a personal data point, totally within their right. Additionally, I think in 2025 most people know better than to be overtly racist in such a public space where they wouldn’t know the beliefs of others even if they covertly held negative feelings. While certainly not unheard of, I doubt someone would have had the audacity, especially at a barn of someone of color, to dramatically get up or tell her she couldn’t sit there. People may have even been very welcoming if she went over and sat next to them. Reactive warmness doesn’t discount that there’s a very real chance that on some subliminal level it appears that they saw two seating options and opted away from the person of color. I wasn’t there. I don’t know. I just feel strongly someone doesn’t have to prove a certain level of evidence for me to want to validate their experience of exclusion.
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Isn’t Inclusion and the point of this post more to make sure people know how they can make a positive difference by including someone who may feel different? It’s not hard to do, and people in a position of majority should realize the privilege they have and recognize what a positive impact they can make just by acknowledging an “outsider”. Whether racist or oblivious, the outcome for the OP was the same, but a different outcome could have been so easily achieved if someone there has been aware and seen a benefit to being inclusive.
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My comments here are based on the one major time in my life where I was a minority. And boy was it eye-opening.
I am a whiter than white American woman, but about 20 years ago, I lived in Singapore and was leading an engineering team of Asian men. We were building a Greenfield pharmaceutical manufacturing plant, and I was in charge of one of the engineering teams
I lived and worked there for about a year and despite what things said on paper for probably a good 3 to 4 months when I would gather “my team “and discuss what is going to happen for the day they would look to the other male on the team, my direct report, And check in to make sure he was OK with what I had discussed.
I rolled with it and over time established the trust that was needed for me to be the team lleader and name and in spirit. I was with them in the dark of the night when things went to shit trying to figure out how to fix equipment problems, turning wrenches And getting it done.
I also experienced the micro aggressions in general life when I would go into a store and I’d be the only white woman and I’m relatively tall and the shopkeepers would somewhat turn their noses up that anything in there would be suitable for me.
I only experienced that for about a year but has stayed with me 20 years later. I’m not a black woman in America and I don’t have the experiences that the OP has, but I’ve always said to many of my people in all my life since, go be a minority and then come back and talk to me when you casually dismiss other people‘s experiences.
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I also went to Singapore, but on vacation, and was definitely stared at as I navigated the city. It was my first experience as a visible minority (I’m Jewish and have experienced what someone above also experienced regarding antisemetic “jokes,” so I already had some frame of reference but it’s different than having a different skin color). It was an eye-opening experience that I appreciate I got to have, as it’s shaped how I’ve acted moving forward.
Thank you OP for speaking up. I’m very introverted but I will try even harder now to make an effort to recognize when someone seems alone and include them.
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Yes, I believe her. Her mother is a mama bear. I’m sure she would have nipped any budding incident in the head.
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Yes, you get it!
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I was auditing a judge’s clinic with my instructor (both of us white) and my Indigenous friend. My instructor said, “Watch. They’re going to magically run out of lemonade right before they get to us.” Sure enough, they did. My friend said, “This is why I used to do the All-Indian Rodeo.”
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Wow. Not cool. I never understood what some people get out of being so ugly.
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I just want to say that how you were treated is shit, and I’m sorry that this happened to you. There are inclusive spaces in equestrian sports, but sometimes the sport can still be “ass backwards,” pardon my French.
As others said, even if it was done “innocently,” it still really hurts and leaves a sour taste. There are great Black equestrians online (maybe you’re on instagram) who have talked about their experiences. I appreciate how they share their experiences and the history of how Black equestrians have changed the sport. For example, I didn’t know Bill Pickett invented steer wrestling.
The Compton Cowboys have shed a lot of light on the history of Black excellence in equestrian sports, but also the racism. We should remember that this sport isn’t just for white people. It has a history entrenched in other cultures, races, and other demographics of people we often forget about.
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Your post reminded me of a childhood experience that I still treasure.
My Mom showed German Shepherds in obedience dog shows. One was held at the Texas State Fairgrounds in Dallas. The show barns and covered arena were close by, and being a horse-crazy kid, I’d wander up and down the empty stalls, hoping I’d actually see a horse.
Lo and behold! There were men riding their horses in the covered arena! They let me touch the horses and I asked a lot of questions. One gent (who happened to be Black) asked me if I’d like to ride his mare “Ruth”. I was thrilled! He was a real Black Cowboy!
He and Ruth remain in my memory very clearly. He was a kind and generous man. This was back in the 1960’s. Things weren’t so good for Black folks at that time…
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Though this is a different situation, I thought this article belonged in a thread about inclusion.
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Yeah, as someone who is fat and in their forties, the assumption is always that I’m someone’s mom and not the rider, even when I’m wearing riding clothes.
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I’ve cited this example on here before, but it applies now.
Back in the Stone Age of H/J - late 80s to early 90s - local BNT (Regional circuit) was not cut from the standard WhipThin Hunter Princess mold.
She was, to quote K.D. Lang - a Big Boned Gal.
She brought her clients to shows & rode her 2 OTTBs herself in Jumpers.
Especially in the Gamblers Choice class where bets were made.
Both horses were the classic slabsided, long-legged TB & she got a lot of sideline snark.
She also usually had the majority of bets placed on her.
And generally won the class, placing on both horses.
A recent Google search showed she’s still teaching. 
Another thing in her favor was her lack of participation in what I came to think of as Pros Show Off - the Warm-up ring.
Unlike the others, schooling their clients to death, her kids were in & out in minutes.
I asked once & she told me if the kids were schooling well enough at home to go to a show, they didn’t need to school much once there
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Dear @luv2ride113,
I think this thread has taken a well intentioned but ungermane derail.
I’m just going to leave this here:
https://www.chronofhorse.com/article/junior-johnson-still-moving-forward/
I know some of the uglier behind the scenes details of this story, as do others on this board. If it would be helpful or affirming to hear/see them shared, please contact me by PM.
PS - take up space. You’ve earned it, you deserve it.
ETA: I have experienced bias late in life as a larger equestrian. However well intentioned, that is not what the OP has experienced. At all. Sizeism =/= to racism. Both are bad, but they are not the same.
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I wouldn’t say it was anything other than typical behavior. At the clinics I’ve gone to alone I’ve always sat alone. No one ever asked me to join them. And the times I tried to engage others in conversation, they’d be polite, answer my question, and then go right back to their own business. Maybe I didn’t look fancy enough for them or maybe it’s just people in their groups enjoying each other’s company. They paid to watch the clinic not to be ambassadors of the event.
When I’ve ridden at a clinic on my own the organizer would make an effort to talk and maybe invite me to eat with them but never when I’ve just been auditing.
It isn’t a nice feeling to be alone when others around you are all talking and enjoying comraderie, but that’s the chance you take when you attend by yourself.
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Not exactly something which demonstrates a part of the discussion here, but this was brought up on my YouTube viewing today as an option to watch:
Snoop Dogg would LOVE this! Renderson Silva de Oliveira & Fargoso at the FEI Dressage World Cup 2025
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