But it does require an open mind and empathy.
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I think it’s the thread title “inclusion” it’s one of the recently banned words from government websites so it was bound to draw people.
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I am so tired of how some people weaponize words in politics and then proceed to take it beyond that into other aspects of their lives. We get it, you think “inclusion” is a dirty word. Well, if we want the sport to grow we might need to make an effort to let folks know they’re welcome here and we might all sometimes need some food for thought on how easy it can be for someone to inadvertently feel excluded through something that to a lot of us might seem completely innocuous.
EDIT: And while race is obviously a factor for OP, I also feel like almost all of us can relate to feeling like we don’t belong somewhere and not necessarily feeling like it’s our place to just cold-approach someone and try to make conversation. Not everyone has the personality/temperament of “I’m just going to truck on out there and make conversation with these people I don’t know.” Not everyone is a bubbly extrovert. I can also understand feeling like horse folks can be kind of standoffish/not the most warm & approachable. I don’t ride at the moment but the last time I volunteered at a show near me a couple years ago the vibes felt different compared to what I remembered when I started volunteering at some of the local shows a decade-ish earlier. People were still cordial but the feeling of camaraderie wasn’t there the way it was those earlier years before the pandemic. I admit that could’ve been me, too, I felt like since I wasn’t riding anymore, I had so much less in common with these people (not in a stuck-up way just…horses weren’t as big a part of my life as they were say, 2012-2016ish when I was volunteering at local shows regularly and still riding but not competing. I hadn’t volunteered locally in a few years when I tried this again a couple years back so those involved in organizing things had changed, etc). They didn’t feel like “my people” anymore and again, I’m white. Can’t even begin to fully understand what it might be like if you factor in being a racial minority on top of all that.
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To do so requires empathy and a world view that extends beyond one’s personal experiences.
Another great example of why I’m a huge supporter of required national service in the U.S.
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In general yes, but if you mean that at me specifically it’s more an observation that, much as I can have empathy and try to understand another person’s experiences, at the end of the day, I am still in the skin I’m in with the life experiences I have so I won’t ever fully understand the lived experiences of someone who is not white.
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It was not directed at you personally; it was a general statement
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That’s what I was figuring but wanted to clarify. 
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OP, just want you to know if I’d been there and seen you I would have come sit with you. I too have many times felt out of place but by no means know what it’s like to be in your skin. Literally.
I would have wanted to know about your love of horses and riding. And would love to meet you.
If you come to Equine Affaire, in fact, I live 30 minutes away and have a guest room. You are welcome
to stay here and talk horses.
I’m so sorry. We can do so much better and I believe with some awareness that would have happened
at that clinic.
Suzette Dybiec
Johnstown, Ohio
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I’m an older woman. Dressage rider for 5 decades and former SOCAL resident. I’m also Native American, and I have the gall to ride a QH cross! I get this type of treatment regularly.
Tip: No, it’s not fair. Yes, it’s racist. It’s prevalent in the Dressage world of Cali. I use to attend shows or clinics there, where no one except the secretary would speak, sit with or even smile at me. Just ride and ride well. When you enroll in a clinic, show up dressed well and ride well. Don’t change your hair, don’t “whiten” up. Be yourself, understand what is happening.
But most of all, don’t give up! Keep auditing, keep riding, keep showing, and kick butt. Women of color need more numbers in dressage!!
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Ugh this thread is what I can’t stand about COTH.
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I checked out of this thread a while back because I had said what I wanted to say and was pretty sure the thread was going to derail.
Surprised to still see the thread active, I checked back in. I’m a little shocked and disappointed about how badly it derailed, and how so many people completely missed the point.
It’s no surprise that the OP hasn’t been back in weeks.
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I am so sorry that happened to you. I live in the area and have shown at both SV and PEC, as well as Brookside and Murieta Equestrian Center. Of the 4, Brookside is by far the most warm and welcoming, imho.
FWIW, I believe even Genay Vaughn (SV) has commented on feeling like an outsider because of her skin color and wanting to encourage more people (and women) of color to participate in dressage.
I do not understand why people can’t just see “people”, not color, not weight, not whether they are wearing the most recent trendy brand of shoes etc.
It is not just race that keeps people segregated in dressage, it is also wealth (or lack of) and weight (too much not too little). A short, fluffy rider wearing dover breeches and top and using an off the rack saddle (say wintec), riding an arabian, is rarely going to be one who is sought out for company. I love this sport but not the attitude of many of the participants. People of every color and build should be welcomed with open arms.
Dressage means “training”. We ALL need to train our horses and ourselves to be better riders. The idea that only wealthy thin whites can ride is absurd. As far as I am concerned they can stay in their little clique, I will be happy to hang out with all of the “outsiders” who are there for the love of the horse and the sport and who simply want to have the best relationship they can with their horse. So OP, I would love to go to a show or clinic with you. We can sit together and learn and talk about our wonderful horses.
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Someone’s perception is their reality, and we shouldn’t dismiss their feelings just because our experience was different. Whether dressage (or any sport) is seen as exclusive isn’t the point—OP genuinely felt excluded. That’s an important reminder for anyone who values inclusivity. Our words, actions, and behaviors matter, and making the effort to reach out is always worthwhile.
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