Instructor Frustration

[Luseride]

Let me preface this with I know it will all be better next week. I have been teaching riding for twenty-six years and middle school for twenty-five, I get it. Things will get better.

The problem I am having is students, adults and children, that are always making an excuse for why they are doing what they are doing and not getting better.

One little girl this week almost coming off my steady pony while trotting because she would not sit up. She told me it was more comfortable that way. I am tempted to let her just go ahead and fall but won’t of course but it will happen soon no matter what if she continues.

Adult, leases a horse, will not get out of his mouth. He is very light and responsive. She has ridden with me for years, has leased several different horses, never had this problem. He is a Paso Fino so a little spicy but also very quiet for the breed. She has also recently started not keeping her heels down on any horse she rides. I know somehow they are related, I know she needs to relax, we will work through it.

On a good note I have another rider leasing a Paso and she and he are doing incredible things together! My light in the tunnel.

[Posting_Trot]

I’ll respond as someone who has taken lessons with several instructors and trainers. I know that I, as a student, do some of what you’re describing–although I see it as explaining to the instructor why I keep falling back into old habits rather than me trying to make excuses.

I know: there’s a fine line between an explanation and an excuse.

At any event, you might look at the student saying “It feels more comfortable to slump” (for example) as information that you can use as an instructor. She’s telling you a feeling she has about her body that is hindering her from performing better.

It might help to talk to her (tactfully) about exercises she could do off the horse that might strengthen her core. If she’s a child, you might discuss it first with the parent, again tactfully.

Just my reaction to your post. Your post does make me think about the ways that I will be responding to my own trainer when she tells me for the millionth time to sit up and put my chest forward!

[clanter]

@Luseride

One little girl this week almost coming off my steady pony while trotting because she would not sit up. She told me it was more comfortable that way.

have you photographed her so she can see just what she looks like on the pony? We used to do that for kids

[hoopoe]

For a young girl I agree, there may be a situation she has no words for. Crotch pain and chafing. Embarrassment about new breasts, particularly if not yet in a bra. Saddle not really fitting. A lifetime (short) of criticism which causes defenses

For an older woman i can empathize with mental blocks and fog. Body control and a disconnect from body. Self realization about security and fear of dealing with injury. Processing language into action. Anxiety and self talk. Lovely peri/menopause

It is all real and it too shall pass.

After a lifetime of endeavor, I am just not really good at anything I attempted except in my work life. I am sure I frustrated many trainers and coaches along the way.

Depressurize the situation by focusing on the positive aspects of their work.

[2DogsFarm]

No trainer here, but could you put both on the longe?
For kid to develop a better seat/posture, for adult to do same & balance w/o reins.
Would the Paso longe?

I spent an entire Summer on longe lessons (alternating with riding) & it gave me a good, independent seat.
{pats self on back} per trainers & clinicians, I’ve always had “good hands”, but riding sans reins was still valuable.

[outerbanks77]

I recently had a related conversation with someone at my barn who has been doing some teaching. Lessons have always been few and far between for me, and I tend to be mystified by people who are taking the same weekly lesson over and over again without improvement.

I think it really comes down to goals and focus. Some people just want to ride once a week for enjoyment, and that is OK. Some people say they have bigger goals to compete or jump or whatever, but are not committed to, or don’t appreciate the work that it takes to get there. Do you have regular check-ins with your students and ask them to give you an HONEST assessment of what they want out of the lessons? If they are willing to commit to the bigger goals, then let them know very plainly what will be required (working out off the horse, dealing with fear issues, etc.). My regular instructor comes about one weekend a month and some other people at the barn have ridden with her here and there. They tend to get a shock about how hard she has them working. It is easy to look at high-performing riders who seem to be just sitting there while their horse performs, and think it should be easy. It is not.

[pony_grandma]

‘I can’t’ and ‘I’m not’ stopped after young teen audited at good clinic and ‘saw’ what the clinician was saying. And ‘saw’ change happen. Duhhhh.

[Scribbler]

@Luseride

Let me preface this with I know it will all be better next week. I have been teaching riding for twenty-six years and middle school for twenty-five, I get it. Things will get better.

The problem I am having is students, adults and children, that are always making an excuse for why they are doing what they are doing and not getting better.

One little girl this week almost coming off my steady pony while trotting because she would not sit up. She told me it was more comfortable that way. I am tempted to let her just go ahead and fall but won’t of course but it will happen soon no matter what if she continues.

Adult, leases a horse, will not get out of his mouth. He is very light and responsive. She has ridden with me for years, has leased several different horses, never had this problem. He is a Paso Fino so a little spicy but also very quiet for the breed. She has also recently started not keeping her heels down on any horse she rides. I know somehow they are related, I know she needs to relax, we will work through it.

On a good note I have another rider leasing a Paso and she and he are doing incredible things together! My light in the tunnel.

Anxiety is one thing that gets in the way of hearing things or changing things. And there’s certainly a lot of that going around.

Grabbing mouth is a fear response, and so is going into fetal curl. Many of our bad riding habits are things that make us feel safe but actually make us less secure.

I would consider looking a posture off the horse. Can you lift your ribs and carry your own body?

As far as grabby hands, that’s something where the coach has to lay down the law. You have a nice horse, you are ruining him by grabbing his face, we are going to end this lesson now if you can be polite to him.

[Luseride]

That was my plan for this coming week. I have done that in the past and it does help.

[Luseride]

We did talk and she will improve I am sure. She is nine so I do know this is part of the age of the rider.

This is just one of those frustrations of teaching.

[Luseride]

We always end with a game and horse yoga so she is all smiles at the end, that is the important part…

[Luseride]

I do use the lunge line and will probably do that for the child. I doubt the Paso will though, or if he does that he could do it safely.

[Luseride]

I actually have a goals sheet on my tack room door. As a rider accomplishes that goal they post another one. It helps to keep them and myself focused on what they want. The little girl wants to trot one lap on the rail. We are getting closer and will be able to do it as soon as she sits tall for more than a few strides.

[Luseride]

Already did that. Had her get off and lead him around in the field beside the ring until emotions were under control. Got back on and was better. Will continue to do this.

[outerbanks77]

@Luseride

It helps to keep them and myself focused on what they want. The little girl wants to trot one lap on the rail

That is a great idea! Do you ever have them break down the components that will help them towards their goal? For instance - to trot one lap, I need stamina, physical and emotional control, and core strength to stay with the pony. The things I can do outside of my lessons are 1) running to the end of the block and back 2) learning to balance on a yoga ball (or a balance beam or just standing on one leg) 2) visualizing riding all the way around the arena calmly and in balance, etc. Then the thought experiment is “What if I work on these every day that I don’t have a lesson? How much would I improve in a month?”

[anon55755751]

I too think “making excuses” is really an issue of communication, because they really don’t know what it is they need to know to make changes stick, so they don’t know how to tell you what is going wrong. Could be fear, could be physical, could be psychological, or just not understanding the exercise. They may not consciously know which.

As a student, i try to ask questions a lot or describe what i am feeling when i get it right or when i get it wrong and don’t understand what i am missing.

Maybe having them rephrase their statements/objections as questions is a tactic you could use pedagogically with your adult students? To prompt them to identify what is really going on and break through the “i just can’t” impasse? Kids might not have enough self-awareness for this, but it would be a really good exercise for teens and adults.

[Scribbler]

Many many folks, children and adult beginners alike, have about zero proprioception. They aren’t athletic in any other endeavor and have no idea where their body is in space. In fitness class when the instructor says hold the weights straight out in front of you their arms are every which way not even even. Sometimes they can benefit from being directed where to actually put their body and being asked to feel if it’s correct or not.

Is your heel down? Yes or no? Can you tell? Etc

[dmveventer]

@outerbanks77

Lessons have always been few and far between for me, and I tend to be mystified by people who are taking the same weekly lesson over and over again without improvement.

I think it really comes down to goals and focus. Some people just want to ride once a week for enjoyment, and that is OK. Some people say they have bigger goals to compete or jump or whatever, but are not committed to, or don’t appreciate the work that it takes to get there.

I generally agree with what you’re saying, but I don’t think it’s quite as simple as saying that a rider who isn’t showing improvement isn’t working hard enough. Learning isn’t a linear process. I know I’ve definitely had periods where I stagnated or even felt like I was going backwards despite doing all the right things, eventually followed by a breakthrough of some kind and huge improvement (typically not until after a lot of grumbling about how much time and money I spend on such an endlessly frustrating hobby lol). I have no doubt I’ve left my coaches shaking their heads and wondering what on earth I was doing with myself during those times. Sometimes you just have to keep struggling through and accept frustration is part of the process, so I think the OP already has the right attitude about this. If a rider is having the same problems after more than a few months of work, then I think it’s worth having a conversation about whether the rider needs to change something on their end or if the horse and/or instructor just aren’t a good match for the individual.

[Scribbler]

@dmveventer

@outerbanks77

Lessons have always been few and far between for me, and I tend to be mystified by people who are taking the same weekly lesson over and over again without improvement.

I think it really comes down to goals and focus. Some people just want to ride once a week for enjoyment, and that is OK. Some people say they have bigger goals to compete or jump or whatever, but are not committed to, or don’t appreciate the work that it takes to get there.

I generally agree with what you’re saying, but I don’t think it’s quite as simple as saying that a rider who isn’t showing improvement isn’t working hard enough. Learning isn’t a linear process. I know I’ve definitely had periods where I stagnated or even felt like I was going backwards despite doing all the right things, eventually followed by a breakthrough of some kind and huge improvement (typically not until after a lot of grumbling about how much time and money I spend on such an endlessly frustrating hobby lol). I have no doubt I’ve left my coaches shaking their heads and wondering what on earth I was doing with myself during those times. Sometimes you just have to keep struggling through and accept frustration is part of the process, so I think the OP already has the right attitude about this. If a rider is having the same problems after more than a few months of work, then I think it’s worth having a conversation about whether the rider needs to change something on their end or if the horse and/or instructor just aren’t a good match for the individual.

People also can have persistent body conformation issues, especially in the hips and pelvis, that influence leg position, make it hard to keep heel down, etc. Often they have no idea.

[skydy]

@hoopoe

For a young girl I agree, there may be a situation she has no words for. Crotch pain and chafing. Embarrassment about new breasts, particularly if not yet in a bra. Saddle not really fitting. A lifetime (short) of criticism which causes defenses

This is important. What feels uncomfortable when she sits up? What sort of pants is she wearing? Are there seams in uncomfortable places?
You have to understand what is uncomfortable and address it, and she needs to know that if she continues to slump she is going to fall off the pony.