Is Barn Anxiety Real?

I am the only one that gets anxious when heading to the bar? I am fine once I am there, but making myself get in the car and drive the 5 minutes is so anxiety provoking I almost panic.

I love the barn. I have been in the local horse community for close to 25 years. I like just about everyone. I have a lovely, safe gelding. I can’t figure this out. Is it a consistency thing? You know, I wouldn’t have anxiety if I made it a habit?
Sheilah

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How do you feel about leaving your house for other activities?

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I sometimes feel this way . . .and I think I always have to some extent even though my horses are steps from my back door. As I walk down the path, I imagine all the “stuff” I have to do, and start to feel anxious about “will I get it all done?” --and all the million things that can go wrong. But I remind myself, small steps complete the journey. I do as much as I can, (I always feed, then ride --riding is a priority for me).

It seems once I am engaged in my planned activities, I am ok.

Honestly, I was the same for the 40 years I taught --what if I didn’t do everything I planned???

But somehow, everything is done or it wasn’t that important.

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This is the best typing error ever! Thank you for providing me with a laugh this morning.

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Has anything happened at your barn that might make you anxious about a recurrence?

Like @Foxglove , my horses live about 250’ from my house :roll_eyes:
But I’ve had a couple equine break-ins over the years :expressionless:
Unlatched gate or stall door = Horsey Rave in the aisle :confounded:
Especially after one of these (thankfully) rare events, I find myself twitchy as I approach the barn.

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Yes, definitely. If I actually make it down, I break everything down into small steps and give myself permission to stop after any step. Usually once I got a little bit of momentum, I was fine and ended up doing more than I’d planned. I rarely even remembered how much I didn’t want to go.

This was more of an issue when I was riding, but even now there are days where I have to do this just to visit my retired mare and hopefully take her for a walk. It happened yesterday, in fact.

This is a useful method for anything one needs or wants to do when depressed. (/raises hand)

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I don’t, unless I feel something may be wrong, then I hotfoot it there.
That has happened a few times over the years and every time it was something wrong.
Like the time horses were not up for breakfast and a mountain lion had chased them thru a gate and they were in the adjacent pasture, 2 miles North by the neighbor’s fence, thankfully unharmed.
Most days, going to feed horses is a nice walk, enjoying the crisp mornings.

I wonder if those that feel anxiety going to the barn are anxious in other places and where?
Maybe is the coffee kicking in, being a stimulant, if you had some?

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It’s definitely real. Breaking down everything into steps, which I list outloud to myself, does help. Also, EVERYTHING is anxiety provoking right now, so that may play a role.

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My DH and I met at a barN. When people as me how we met, I always have to say at a “barn…B-A-R-N”. :grin:

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I haven’t faced this about the barn, but I did develop a weird phobia that really didn’t have a cause and wasn’t going away. It was really strange and distressing and I’m sorry you’re facing something similar, especially about something that’s been a safe space before.

I saw a therapist, and we did EMDR maybe twice? And POOF this thing I’d really been struggling with was just gone. It was great. Such a relief. Highly recommend!

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When I was a kid, when we’d be driving to my lessons, I would get these REALLY ACTIVE butterflies. I think it was nerves, but I never felt anxious about them…I just noticed that they were active. I loved going to the barn, it was my “place”. Might yours also be more of a butterfly in a good way?

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My body struggles to distinguish anticipation from anxiety. All future things feel like a muddled negative physiological experience and cyclical thoughts from a dinner with friends to presenting in front of 200.

Counseling + meds has been a huge help but I still regularly have to ask myself “am I excited or nervous”. Sometimes it’s a both/and so I’ll really break it down such as “I’m so excited to go to the barn. Mare got a few days off so I’m a little nervous she will be up. I feel confident I can handle that should it arise. If I have a ‘bad’ ride that would be disappointing since I’ve been excited to ride so I’m nervous about the possibility of disappointment”. For people with nice happy brains this probably feels wild but you gotta work with the nervous system you have and some of them are spicier than others.

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Talking to a counselor or certified life coach can be a huge relief from things that nag at you creating anxiety.

As can granting yourself grace. Might want to look for thoughts on Self Compassion online or with a counselor/coach. We are expected to dish it out but often fail to give compassion to ourselves. Many times because we have never been aware it is as important as being compassionate towards other beings and we lack the tools to apply it to ourselves.

Try it.

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I definitely can get anxious on the drive to the barn. For me I think it’s a combo of things. I only have limited time to get there, get my stuff done, and get home so the 40+ minute drive just seems endless and I want the drive over with. And I"m going over in my head how many minutes I have to tack up, ride, put away my mare, and get home before I have to run off to whatever kid activity. I really really treasure my time at the barn because it’s my me-time at the place where I can be 1000% myself so I very much want to get there and be able to spend as much time possible before going back to the rest of my world.

I also was more anxious when I wasn’t leasing a horse and didn’t always know who I’d be riding. I’m a nervous rider and like to know who I’m riding so not knowing who I was going to be lessoning on upped my nerves a bit. I’m a planner so not knowing who I was riding, whether I’d have to hike to the back 40 to bring them in, what they were like, etc didn’t help the anxiety.

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I didn’t know I was getting stressed and anxious until I stopped going oddly enough. The barn where I used to go had a BO that could be unpredictable shall we say. And every time they were present people would be walking on egg shells. Over the years I think I was just getting more and more tired of it while the unpredictability increased. Finally one night when I walked into one of these episodes, I had it, I was done. After letting people know I’d leave in 1 month, I walked away (I didn’t have a horse there, was working with other horses so it was easy enough). I thought I’d be really upset but it turned out to be really freeing! I felt great!

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This is me. No, I’m never anxious to go to the barn. I do get anxious about having a bad ride or create situations in my dead where I don’t have the tools to work through a hypothetical issue when/if it arises. Its always worse with young horses when you don’t have enough good rides in the confidence bank.

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I get anxious about going but it’s around being a perfectionist and making every minute count since I’m always trying to squeeze in a ride between work, husbands golf, kid activities, farm chores, and just keeping a decently clean house. Plus keeping my dogs entertained and decently trained. It’s so overwhelming at times.

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My past anxieties involving going to various boarding barns have centered around certain other boarders and whether thay would be there. In most cases they were decent people otherwise, but were complainers and gossipers who just seemed to suck the equine joy out of me.

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DH & I actually met in a B-A-R :smirk:
But years later, when we told people we were going to the barN, most times we had to spell it :roll_eyes:

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I knew a woman who used the word “stable” rather than “barn” specifically for this reason :joy:

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